Yo, I'm Johnson, my little cousin Theodore right here told

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Yo, I'm Johnson, my little cousin Theodore right here told me about this little crib on the internet you have in here, with your secret muscle gains and shit, aight.
So, Dore is a little math genius and shit but he wanted to build some muscles for da hoes, aight. You guys made him gain about 20lbs of pure muscle fat, now, I don't know by which kinda shiet is your brain infested, but telling anyone to eat above 350grams of carbs a day is simply pathetic and means you want people to fail, aight.
Now, you either stop giving this bullshit advices or you can talk to my gun, nomsain? Cool.
I like this website and shiet, big love for those sips you got there, told Dore to get on them instead of your bullshit, bought him 4lbs of whey protein and a multivit.
You guys enjoy dat dere time in here, aight? Never forget we're all brothers after all, that's what niggerhood is about, you can be white and still be a nigga to me, aight? So let's get the sips going and the lifts boing, aight? Peace out my brothers, with much love, Johnson.