I'm going to get a random call soon to come in for a drug

>>41950264
>Any tips on passing random court mandated drug tests?

Don't do drugs you fucking degenerate. Deny yourself pleasure for once in your life.

Weak willed faggots like you never cease to amaze me. Can you really not just stop doing drugs until the testing period is over?

Any real advice?

>>41950395
We need more info. What drug? How much did you take and when? when is the drug test? give us some info OP ffs how do you expect us to help you with "hurrr how pass drug test"

>>41950416
Drug test is coming up soon not sure exactly when but when I get a call in the morning I will have untill 3:30 pm to report. THC Coke MDMA and accidently did Amphetamine first time on Sunday morning never doing it again. Heaviest use is THC other shit should be out in few days

>>41950264

Certo+total detox jizz. The secret is to piss immediately before going in to do your test. Bring a cup and piss in your car if you need to.

>>41950516
>THC
best you can do is hydrate like a motherfucker
>Coke
>MDMA
Don't quote me but I believe their half-life is relatively short, you might be fine
>Amphetamine
you're fucked

I took 2 of the Jazz detox drinks the day of my piss test and drank a ton of water. I was 265lbs at the time and had smoked the night before. Passed with flying colors.

I would bet my life on Jazz, I've done this twice now and both times I have been around 260lbs.

>>41950583
I currently weigh around 202 but use to weigh 140. Will one do it for me or should I go out and get another?

>>41950562
Methamphetamine (crystal meth): 3-6 days in urine and 24 - 72 hours in blood.

>>41950264
all of those are overpriced garbage.
If you arent on creatine start taking it daily (this is good for lifting but also increases creatinine in your pee which is how they measure if you dilluted the test
take 5-6 times the normal dose b vitamins when you wake up
pee at least 2 times before you pee into their cup
drink gallon of water an hour before your test
This will heavily dilute the test without causing suspicion for dillution because the b vitamins make your pee yellow and your creatinine levels will be high because of supplemented creatine.

>>41950679
There is both creatine and b vitamins in Jazz.

>>41950696
exactly so why pay 20 bucks for 10 cents worth of supplements?

>>41950264

Blood or urine?

>>41950305
what if he doesn't have anything in his life? maybe he also needs some pleasure from time to time

>>41950516
>THC
>coke
>MDMA
>""""""""""accidentaly"""""""""" amphetamine
being this degenerate you might as well kys

>>41950619
I would use two just to be safe, but I believe it's 1 drink per 115lbs. It says it on the back of the bottle.

But yeah man - drink them shits, get a job, and stay high

>>41950752
My fucking feels.

>>41950769

>unironically whining about 'degeneracy' which just means 'stop doing things i don't like'

Gb2 /pol/

>>41950516
>accidently did Amphetamine
>accidently
My sides are interstellar

1.) Your an idiot and should never have put yourself in this position because you are fucked.
2.) Drink LOTS of water. Make sure that you urinate MANY times early that morning and throughout the day. Don't let the first couple pisses of the day be one of the specimens you submit. Your body has accumulated a high concentration of enzymes and waste throughout the night that they will be measuring. That's why when you piss first thing in the morning it's usually pretty yellow compared to later in the day.

Like I said, you're fucked. There's no way you can pass that shit after having done drugs the same week. Prepare to go back to whatever buttfuck penitentiary you crawled out of you degenerate.

>>41950264
Better bring a couple hundred into that bathroom friend

>>41955507
Damn dude you're super cool please be my friend I want you to give me shit advice and call me a degenerate as you make up for your incredibly boring life as you pretend to take the high road when really you just hate people in general

>every coworker drinks like a fish and rails lines of cock every weekend
>always pass drug tests
>I can't so much as be in the same room as someone else smoking pot, nevermind me smoking it or I will fail any drug test within a week of exposure
makes sense. guess it's just time to become a cockhead because that's so much better for a worker to do instead of smoking after work once in a while

>>41956072
H-how many cocks in a line?

>>41950264
Synthetic Urine my man, has worked 100% for me. Quick Fix is what I used. Follow the steps in the package to heat it up (either microwave for ten seconds at a time or slap the heating pad on it an hour before hand.) Put on two pairs of boxer briefs and put that bottle in your gooch. Go pass that shit with flying colors.

Just a reminder if I was in power I would use the FBI to hunt down OP's IP, arrest him and crucify him

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>>41956056
LMFAO

HOLY SHIT YOU ARE SO DEFENSIVE ABOUT YOUR SHIT LIFE CHOICES YOU MAKE BECAUSE YOU ARE WEAK WILLED SCUM THAT CANT CONTROL HIMSELF


YOU CANT MAKE THIS UP

buy someones piss

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>duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude man why you gotta like call me names and stuff man like you just hate me cause I have more fun than you haha, your like fake morals and stuff man thats bullshit haha lmao sorry dude I need to go rip this bong now later moralfag

druggies need to be crucified

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>>41950264
>now:start drinking water asap. Like 2 gallons a day, it may be to late to start taking creatine but it can't hurt. (creatine converts to creatinine which is tested for to prevent dilution)
>morning before the test: keep drinking, take B-vitamins (get the complex one, the more types of B vitamins the better) these will make your urine a green yellow color to disguise the fact that you're diluting your urine
>during the test: the urine at the beginning and end of your stream will have the most unwanted metabolites, so get the urine from the middle of your stream (piss into the toilet for 2 seconds, fill the cup, finish your stream in the toilet)

Now this isn't a guarantee of success, but will certainly be your best shot for a urinalysis.