>extremely hot and sunny day in London >went to gym and

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>extremely hot and sunny day in London
>went to gym and was so weak due to coffee ruined sleep, wasn't worth going
>feel productive about doing laundry, dishes, clipping toenails, brushing teeth, taking away rubbish but realise this is bad because it shows I care about trivialities instead of important work like learning programming or maths and more confirmation of my crushing mediocrity
>see huge numbers of lightly clothed girls on my way back from gym
>my subhumanity intensifying dot jaypeg
>hoping that today is the last day of coffee or junk food
>walked through shoreditch high street last night as some sort of "in the den of the normies" attempted catharsis but felt nothing - just watching people through one way glass, the same numb hopelessness, Chad and Stacey having the life I'll never have
>sightseeing / drinking coffee in public while admiring qts and whining on 4chan to feel less alone makes me feel vacuous and meaningless
>being in my flat makes me feel like a reject who is wasting his youth and missing out on the fun; and that this view is coping because I'm too ugly to do anything social anyway

The reason I despair so much, even though people love saying, "just werk bro" is that for me to even be accepted socially would take me the will of a thousand ubermenschen. The perseverance required for me to walk down the street and contemplate my own subhumanity is the same a normie needs to run a marathon with no water.