Meanwhile on cave/fit/... >tfw no mammoth for many days

>tfw no cavewhore to drag around by her hair

Please go back to rockddit

>having bbq everyday

I always fantasize how if I somehow went back to the stone age assuming i was assimilated into a tribe and didnt get murdered by cave people instantly that id build a gym out of rocks and sticks
try to become swole enough to become tribe leader

>mfw hunterfags die hunting
>mfw I fuck all the women in the tribe

Who else berry picker here?

>me face when loading up stick net with stones on power trees
>before me lift me woman bring deer head
>me take out stone and crack open brain hole
>me turn around
>son has taken out almost every stone
>is curling in power trees
>me wonder why gods have forsaken me

>>41792535
>spend all day in gym
>starve
larp fags are the worst thing to happen to humanity

>ice age ended
>ice bridge to an island with nice handy stones is gone
>gotta lift local edgy stones
>hads bleed after the first set

>tfw hit 4 stones deadlift yeeterday
>still no cavemama to rock me when i sad and clean bone when horny

>two fellas killed by sabertooth
>have to deadlift their bodies
>or spirits won't take their souls to eternally bulk in gainclouds

>invent the wheel
>place it on my rock pole
>tell everyone that we can now work our core

>>41792535
>be caveman
>see some odd distant tribesman with weird clothing
>he has an odd frame too
>wants to only pick up rocks and stones and not hunt with tribe
>proceed to tie him up with my fellow friends to the nearby bush or tree we come across
>leave him there
>proceed to hunt with my friends from the tribe
>tell about the odd incident at the camp fire at night to my other tribesmen
>proceed to sleep and preserve the perfect balance of cardio/gains for living

>>41792470
why is this the best thread I've ever come accross?

>another tribe does just lift their own bodies
>throwing shit around instead of slow concentrated lifting
>hitting a dead tree with a stick for no reason
>slowly degrade back into apes

>>41793121
Because you have only been browsing /fit/ for two weeks due to summer

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>lift 1/2/3/4 rock for reps
>eat berries
>chug from big forehead tribe eat mammoth every day
>cannot even lift 75/1.5/2.25/3
>still has more offspring with more females
Why lift rock when it all about foreheadbone genetic?

>>41792470
Me no trust large nose tribe, they want steal our shekel stones

>>41793443
>>>cave/pol/

>>41793421
Back to >>>/rock9k/

>>41793490
>Wearing basketrock loincloth when picking up boulders

>>41793571
>basket
What's that? We make a round hole out of two mammoth tusks.

>>41792470
>im a virgin ook oogo

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>>41792537
>be me
>hunters all swole af
>call me beta gatherer
>eat more tree bark and lichens
>do more bodyweight exercises
>accidentally discover physics in the process
>mammoth attack kills the hunters
>mfw women send their virgin daughters to me to enhance the breed

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How I into mammoth mode?

Want big strong fast and catch mammoth for tribe.

Starting sticks with two breasts of milk per day?

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>OOG OOG OOG OOG OOG OOG OOG OOG OOG
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUgpSZ2XYpE

>>41795541
album of 2016

lyrics are top tier

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>be me
>live in mother's cave even after "release"
>still don't have own cave
>still only have one pelt, not strong enough to hunt for more
>tfw all young matable tribsewomen won't copulate with a peltlet
>been wearing same loin cloth for 4 weeks
>tfw will never be chughad
>tfw will never be tribe leader
>tfw nothing to eat except a few berries and some gravel in last 3 days
>not enough sharp rock bits to support my 6 coconut-shell a day mammoth milk diet

>>41793121
As far as recent threads go, I was more into the Star Trek one

rock tap

>be australopithecine
>naturally shredded due to superior pliocene genes
>still smell like feces and have trouble running

>fucking homo chadnanderthal is a dyel beta manlet
>cardio fag
>fucking oldowan tool use
>survives winter and migrates across east africa
>mates

>still natty tho
>come to rockchan to make this thread