/social gains while training/ thread. How do you make social

So I went outside to practice social situations tonight. I live in a mid-size city and there were quite many people partying outside tonight. During my walking trip outside, I experienced three situations that I'd like to analyze on a more thorough manner.
1. this arabic looking dude and his girlfriend walked in front of me, and he shouted "Allahu Akbar!!" as a joke, then turned to look at me (I'm white). I raised my hands as a little a said "Whooa big guy take it easy". He responded "don't worry I don't have a bomb" while opening his jacket. I said to him "you don't have to convince me" with a little smirk. He and her girlfriends facial expression was relieved and glad over our little banter. Note that our voice and tone was pretty strong but in a playful way. The whole situation lasted about 15 seconds, but still I was instantly surprised at how well I did in a this normie exchange.
2. While waiting for a food in a fast food joint, there were plenty of drunk and happy people there. I almost triggered a panic attack because of all the human presence, but I focused on keeping my external calm and composure, and I think I succeeded pretty well. I think nobody noticed my anxiety, and I'm pretty confifent in my self-assesment. I got my food and left.
3. This one was the most interesting and the one that I did worst in. Two girls were walking in the same direction, and the other looked at me. We had eye contact for about 1,5 seconds, after which she came really close to me and said "hi". I was a little flustered, and as I responded "hi" I could hear that my own voice didn't sound confident at all. Immediately after this her friend called her and she said to me "have a good night". "Y-you too" was my response. I was pretty disappoined because she was actually pretty cute.
How could improve my confidence when talking to random girls? I seem to be doing well with the guys.

>>41590653
Just talk to people
The end.

>>41590675
Also sry for the typos, I'm on my mobile phone. T.op

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Are there any good books on how to socialize? how to win friends and influence people has become cliched and all the techniques are thought of as insincere, and other books like charisma myth are highly targeted for certain situations/business and not for day-to-day interaction and friend making

>>41590675
You've taken the right step in a better direction for your life

congrats, I hope to follow soon and not go back to my addictions

1. Do no porn so you dont feel like an outcast when around normal people. (Extremely important)

2. Get a hobby/Work on something you want

2. Talk to people, about anything you want. If they arent talking back just move on to the next.

Its really that easy

>>41590929
The only way to learn it is to do it, period.

>>41591090
okay and how the fuck do I do it if I don't have the skills you mouthbreathing neanderthal, if you don't know what to say past "hi" or making a witty statement about the situation to the person in front of you in line

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>>41590675
>Whooa big guy take it off easy
>big guy

>asked to spot more ever since getting defined delts and biceps

Does this count? I'm building reliability if anything

>>41591634
>can you spot me bro?"
>yea
It's a start, anon

>>41591276
>calls other guy a mouthbreathing neanderthal
>asking for books on how to socialize

Look up the definition of irony if you're so literate.

You're an idiot, both socially and generally

>>41590653
Today I walked into a bar.

I immidiently walked out, but Ive resolved that next time I will try and order a drink. My goal is to have had a conversation with a girl by the end of June. I'm really feeling it because I'm starting to look good in small tee shirts.

>>41590675
1. what the fuck is this situation? he yelled allahu akbar? why the fuck did you say "take it easy" none of that shit made sense.
2. uh ok so nothing happened at all
3. eh whatever, its weird that chicks randomly say hi on the street

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>>41592562

>>41592562
Fucking burn kek

>>41591276
most people don't have a playbook for making friends. It usually happens naturally. Usually you'll be involved in something similar, and talk about that, which leads to more interaction and getting to know the person better.

Here's a good article about the criteria for social interaction. Its extremely rare you go to a coffee shop and start hitting it off with a stranger.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

carisma is genetic why bother

>>41592619
>its weird that chicks randomly say hi on the street

Not him but no it's not, it happens all the time actual. Espessially when out at night in the city

>>41590676
This. Don't worry too much about whom you're talking to. I somehow tend to have conversations with the cleaning lady lately, she's fucking awesome.

>>41591017
A hobby is nice, specially if you can find people to talk about it.

>>41592590
I laughed

But good on you, set goals with a time limit and strive to achieve them. I did this in the past and worked

>>41590675
Chances are good, especially considering you mentioned a panic attack, that you have social anxiety. Don't worry about building up your skills, focus on working through your fear/anxiety. Why are you afraid? Why are you anxious? Are you building things up too much? Are you worried about a specific outcome? Ideally, find someone specific to talk to about these things. Keep a journal, write your thoughts down. Explore why you're feeling this way. Then, when you find out what it is you're worried about, attack it head on.

Skating rinks are a good place to pick up grills.

In general any place where you can do light physical stuff is good.

>have face/height/frame
>but used to have socializing and would rather just do things on my own because fuck other people
>office setting, great environment really
>started joining sports, committees, hanging out with people
>suddenly I have qts asking me to be their coach in the gym (we have our own office gym)
>one even sent me a pic of her in her undies telling me "look! how long do you think will it take before I look like Iskra?"
>taking a piss or going to the pantry or canteen is now a fucking hassle because I have to smile and/or not at everyone I see because they do the same
Chad life is not easy.
Just smile and b urself.