how the fuck do i uphold a conversation, /fit/? biggest social

>>41583558
Where do you get stuck the most?

Try to describe how you converse with the average stranger for a minute.

>>41583558
Just ask simple inoffensive questions. What do you do? What type of music do you like? Do you play any sports? Just initiate a conversation with something simple and it should flow from topic to topic

You'll find that most people lack social skills.

I'm not the best myself, but when I do find someone who has REALLY good social skills we can talk forever without any awkward pauses.

>>41583558
biggest thing I've learned about conversations is to realize that when it's your turn to talk, you have to say something that continues the conversation in some interesting direction. so if you're talking with someone, you should, while they are speaking, be both listening to what they are saying and thinking about what you're gonna say in response to that to move the conversation in a positive direction. At first, if you're autistic, you'll have to do this consciously, but once you 'practice' conversing, it will come naturally. A lot of conversations is just knowing what questions to ask and being able to relate events/trends from your own life to the current topic. good luck anon.

My problem is mostly talking to people when there's nothing to talk about.

For example, you've known a coworker for a long time and you're at work. Nothing interesting has happened at work and you've exhausted all conversation about their plans for the week, how they've been doin, anything new in their life, etc.

What am I supposed to talk about from that point on? I don't get it.

>>41583630
are you OP? I'm >>41583613

>>41583630
In that particular instance, you can come up with some questions you haven't asked them but phrase it in terms of mildly interesting event and potentially interesting story. Like "Went to an X concert, what an amazing vocalist. You into genre G at all?" And then you could talk a little about whatever genre they're actually into. If you know at least a few songs that you can say some interesting words about, it's even better. I can't stand hip hop, but I've listened to enough Kanye/Drake to at least be able to contribute something if the conversation goes that way.

Big thing in general is making them feel more open and willing to share, situation permitting, of course. How do you do this? The best way to do this is to say less sentences that end in a question mark and say more sentences that end in a period. That's how you talk to friends.

Open up messenger and look for a friend you talk to on a regular basis. Check out how many questions you ask each other. It's not a lot, right? Unless you're doing something like studying for a class you both have or making plans. This is because you know a lot about your friend and he knows a lot about you. So if you use a lot of declarative sentences rather than just asking about what that person does, it comes off as much more friendly, and they'll usually supply the details if you make the statements/questions open-ended and inviting enough.

>>41583630
Anything you actually want their opinion on. Talk about conspiracy theories, politics, what-ifs, paradoxes literally anything. If you are comfortable just push the edges of that normal script and try to get them to say something other than the routine.

>>41583569
usually don't have them, honestly. even with friends, which i've got a decent sized group of and know well, I'm not good just talking to them 1 on 1. my mind tends to draw blanks on any topics to keep talking about so it's usually just about anything immediately relevant as long as it's relevant. usually i excel a lot when we're all in a group so i can hop in with comments and build up momentum and get them laughing. i guess it goes well for me when they carry the weight until i get rolling, then i can kinda take over.

>>41583666
nah this is me

>>41583694
Would not recommend these to coworkers unless you know them extremely well. Don't talk politics in the workplace unless you can keep it super neutral, and even then someone else might not have the bright idea to keep it super neutral, and your group convo will go 100 to 0 real quick

>>41583693
>The best way to do this is to say less sentences that end in a question mark and say more sentences that end in a period. That's how you talk to friends.

op here, this is genuinely helpful, i completely get what you're saying. it kinda goes against instincts of how you're supposed to converse, like asking questions and not monopolizing it, but honestly if the other person isn't doing all the work, someone's gotta.

>>41583695
You've got the fundamentals right there for sure. People love talking about themselves, so if you can keep the ball in their court maybe 70% of the time, you'll be a great conversationalist.

If the conversation dies and you don't want it to, let the vibe kinda peter out, and then ask them another question. Could be anything. You from around here? What are your passions? What kind of music you listen to? Once you get the ball rolling, I explained this one a bit more in my last post, but go from questions to statements to prolong the conversation. Reinforce their beliefs. (Or don't, but that's Level 2. Start with just trying to keep the convo afloat).

>>41583720
Actually perfected this one talking to chicks, and now it goes really well for my LSD-based socialization cause it allows you to glide the discussion around instead of either bland follow-ups or rapid subject changes. If you keep asking questions, it's slowly going to start to feel like an interrogation for the other person. Especially if you don't say much. Other than some funny stories, I don't usually say much, so this was a huge problem for me. If you supply some original insight or whatever, but keep the conversation focused on them (a little one-upsmanship is natural and fine), it'll feel way more organic.

>>41583694
>conspiracy theories, politics, what-ifs, paradoxes

Literally never ever do this. Not at work. You can do this with friends obviously but you definitely want to keep co-workers coworkers because they are just that, co-workers, not friends.

>>41583695
I am a similar type. I have just turned it into being a quiet good listener. People don't expect me to be talkative and I can keep up the role of keeping conversation going with questions and a smiling nodding face. Don't be quiet with resting bitch face.

>>41583558
you just have to openly hate people

when someone starts talking to you, just stop them and be like "listen lady. are you going to talk about weird physics shit? if not, can you fuck off because you're boring."

she'll be enthralled. then you can tell her all about quantum entanglement. bitches love entanglement because it rhymes with engagement

>>41583630
at work? It's easy. Tell them what you're curently working on in a sort of exploratory manner and do the same for them. That way conversation will flow within the pause and you'll both be able to benefit by talking through ideas.

Def a good moment and easy to do.

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>>41583558
Be genuinely interested in the topic, have knowledge and references. Finish your part of talking by asking a question or inquiry.

You like Hamburgers, I do too, I know this great place in Xville where you can get the best fucking burgers in the world. The trick to making a good burger is the quality of the meat and blah blah blah. How do you cook hamburgers

Don't just say "I like hamburgers, only rare."


Ya, I love this gym, it has all the proper equipment to maximize my gains. I went to this one gym that was nothing but fat old people who hogged the equipment blah blah blah. Whats the worst gym you've ever been to?

Don't say "I like the gym, screw fat people."