>leg day at the gym >no one put fuel in the squat rack

>>41327379
>2000+16+1
>not using the solar powered Smith machine

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>ready to begin workout
>gym senate elects me to manlet pit maintinence
>have to hose down the manlets when they get too rowdy
>tfw i had to do this for 5 hours

>suprise form inspection at the gym
>this is my 2nd strike
they're gonna kick me out lads

>>41327379
>gym time dilator malfunctioned
>was only in the gym for 2 hours
>a year passed IRL

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>at the benchpress
>push 2pl8
>lift it effortlessly
>it doesn't weigh anything
>remember i forgot to pay my monthly premium

>>41327661
This would ruin me.

>>41327624
>surprise penis inspection at the gym
>my penis is too feminine
>make me spend an hour in the pit to think about my sins
>the manlets keep chewing on my foreskin

>trying to do workout.
>look in the mirror
>see a qt calling me over with her finger.
>walk over to her.
>it was actually a cross dressing manlet trying to lure me into the pit.
Carefull out there guys

>>41327590
Jesus you think that's bad?
>failed on my last 2pl8 bench
>gym gestapo detain me for questioning
>sentenced to cleaning the fucking manlet pits after hours
>sweeping up powder and shit
>hosing down piss/sweat stained concrete walls
>come across a couple gym shoes with fucking tissue stuffed to the brim
>took me all night

>>41328027
I hate the gym gestapo.

I love these threads

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>>41327379
>Implying that isn't a good workout itself.

That's why I always syphon fuel from the squat rack so you DYEL's have something to do.

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>>41327379
>signed up at the new gym
>everyone gets a random dumbbell to work out with, no exchanges
>win a 24kg dumbbell and another free roll
>got the cable for cable pulls instead of another dumbbell

>go to planet fitness at about 1130 pm
>try to bench new pr
>load up my weights, today's gonna be the day
>unrack weight
>it gets stuck on my chest, no matter how hard I try I can't push it up
>push with all my might, I feel like I'm going to pop a blood vessel
>suddenly bar flies up and slams into ceiling
>what.jpg
>link alarm goes off
>Planet Fitness Gestaponauts drag me to the exit
>as I near the door I look at the clock above it
>1200 midnight
>big flashing light says "Mercury" above it
>mfw I started during Planet Fitness's late night Jupiter time, but it switched to early morning Mercury time and the gravity I was lifting under was drastically reduced
They should really make a smoother transition with those things

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>>41327483
>2000+16+1
>doesn't even total 2017

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>walk into gym
>rape the cleaning lady to death
>trip a ww2 veteran in the wardrobe, leaving him in seizures
>piss and shit all over the place as I walk towards the freeweight area
>brandish my knife and slash all the benches
>break the mirrors with a kids face, effectively scalping him in the process
>wrestle a conservative, virgin blonde chick to the ground and inject AIDS-ridden hobosperm into her eyeballs with a syringe
>blow up a firecracker in a puppy's mouth
>skullfuck an infant to death

But here comes the worst part

>don't tip the receptionist on my way out

>>41328438
M E D I O C R E I S H

>get picked to be gym executioner for the day
>do tricep pulldowns on the guillotine machine
>the manlet revolt was quelled yesterday, so spend all day beheading manlets
>triceps are tired as fuck
>finally the manlets leader is brought out, and is thrown into the manlet pit
>pit is flooded with gym rats, who proceed to eat him alive
>his pained screams make him almost seem human
>almost
>TFW that day was supposed to be leg day, too

>>41328357


This is the most scientific factual thing ever posted on /fit/.

Take these gymcoins and a week pass from manlet pit duty.

>>41328438
just another day in the manlet pit

Is getting dubs enough to release you from the manlet pit?

>give receptionist card to swipe
>takes off wig, manlet stealing my access
>manlet wrangler spends whole day chasing him

>>41328539
Only if the dubs are above 5'5"

>>41328357
kek

>>41328438

>walk into gym
>perform no lifts


Never going to make it.

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>go to use bench after another guy
>tip him for cleaning it
>try to insert quarter into the machine to release the bar
>quarter gets stuck
>only other cash deposit only accepts 100 bills
>take out a loan from the bank just to do chest day

>>41328551
My gym manlet wrangler broke his ankle tripping over some manlet who scurried his way into the cardio area. We're calling professional manlet control to fumigate the ventilation system to make sure we got them all.

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>in showers after dirty workout
>chad wanders in
>15 inch cock swaying between his legs
>pulls the nearest manlet to scrub his giant plums
>mfw 6'1 and chads can only see those below 6

>walk into gym
>walk into jim
>he calls me an asshole

>Leg day
>Smashed it like a naughty avocado
>Gym Sushi Bar is out of crab legs

Just kill me already

>>41328646
Probably a good choice, it just takes one or two to ruin a gym

>goes to gym
>forgot that it was sweatpants day
>staff don't let me in
>i sneak in and started squating
>the form check cameras caught me without sweat pants
>they make me clean the manlet pit with a flanel only

>>41328674
kekd

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>got overtaken by the cardio bunnies on the touge machine again

>be chad
>6'3"
>Have HEIGHT, FACE and FRAME
>Go to shower
>Forgot my fleshlight at home
>See a bunch of manlets
>Order them to show me pics of their wives and gfs
>Choose the prettiest and tell him to get her to me
>She's dripping wet when she arrives
>Fuck her so hard she cries while taking my 7" cock
>Cum on her
>See manlets lick their pussy clean while I finish my bath
>While leaving see her naked in her knees
>She thanks me and begs for another round
>Manlet is crying
>Get home and play factorio for hours

Such is the life of a tall man. Pack it up sub 5'11". You are the cumrag of the mankind.

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>be ugly, mannish 5'4 girl
>manlet detectors go off when I enter the gym
>the manlet police drag me off to the pit
>been down here for 6 days
h-help

>>41328749
>>Fuck her so hard she cries while taking my 7" cock
>7'' cock
>chad
kek nice try manlet, chads have at least 8,5" anything below that and you can't be a chad

>>41328749
>sub 5'11
>t. 5'11 manlet
COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP
YOU'RE GOING TO THE PIT

>wake up in gym appointed dormitory
>gym monitor is blaring "wake up for morning exercises"
>an image of Scooby comes on, he guides me through various exercises
>the monitor also transmits my actions to the gym Division of Gains, so I must comply
>exercises are over, I must now chug my morning 6 scoops
>high pitched noise starts blaring, I'm not drinking fast enough
>chug it down, resist the urge to vomit or else the noise will come back
>a pleasant ding emits from the monitor, followed by rich piana saying "congratulations fitizen, remember you gotta eat big to get big"
>mutter to myself "I don't want to get big, I just wanna be toned"
>continue with my day
>while wiping down the gym equipment for the upper fitizens, see a THICC woman be beaten and force fed anavar
>just glad it's not happening to me
>day overall is uneventful
>when I return to my dormitory, a gym official is waiting for me
>they heard me say I don't want to get big
>they remind me that big zyzz is always watching me
>I'm escorted to the deepest level of the ministry of gains
>I suffer physical and psychological abuse for a long time, I don't actually know how long
>one day a gym official comes in, no beating or interrogation
>he puts two scoops to my left, and two to my right
>"how many scoops are there?"
>"four"
>get injected with synthol
>"five"
>get injected
>"three, six ... I don't know!"
>"that's exactly right, you don't know. It's whatever big Zyzz tells you it is."
>endure years more of detainment before I'm a completely changed person
During my detainment I saw evidence that Zyzz was actually dead and his images were just being used as propaganda, but I know this to be false. Big Zyzz is watching you, brah.

>go to gym
>workout
>forget to tip receptionist
>gainzlord materializes
>reverses time to initial lift
>same timeline
>always never tip
>never leave gym
>been stuck here for 3 weeks in actual time week now
>only gained awareness from premonition through lightheadedness

>>41328803
I-I'm 6' in the morning I swear. 5'11.5" by the night. I passed this manlet test.

>>41328799
I actually have a 7' cock. But is a pencil dick. Would have killed myself if I wasn't a kissless hugless virgin anyway.

It's worse than a 6" cock because the longer it is the thinner it looks.

>>41328847
It's the groundhog day gym edition. You only break the spell going ass 2 grass ® with a buttplug

>>41328859
my dick is 7.5'' and proportionaly thick, but i'm also 6'1 fridge mode, my wide hips makes my dick looks smaller on nudes to chicks, but when they see it live they are always impressed

>>41328772
London?

>>41328826
the fuck

>>41328224
why is there a speculum on the table anon?

>be 5'7"
>balding, but at least I have my muscles
>go to the gym like I do everyday in my height increasing shoes
>tip the receptionist double, I'm in a good mood today
>going about my workout listening to Celine Dion when Chad walks by and rips off my headphones
>he dangles them above my head for a few seconds laughing while I try to jump and grab them
>he throws them at the wall, shattering them
>w-whatever, I didn't like those headphones anyway
>I'm in a bad mood now, so I decide to leave
>don't even tip the receptionist on the way out
>as I'm walking to my Corvette Z06 I see Chad leaving the gym and getting into a GTR Nismo
>now is my time to show him who's boss
>we drive to Willow Springs, im ready to spank his shitty V6 with my superior supercharged V8
>lose
>overheat on the way home

Today was the worst day ever. Fuck Chad.

>>41329285
don't worry, the receptionist already is ;)

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>>41328560
>Only if the dubs are above 5'5"

>>41328357
This really made me think

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>>41328397

>5'7", 115 lbs, have made monster gains recently
>Bench Wrangler seems to pay close attention to me
>Try to hit a new PR of 85 lbs on flat bench
>Can't fucking get it off
>Gym rescue Mastiff is supposed to get it off but it just ends up ripping my shorts off
>the Wrangler approaches me and hogties me to the bench and announces daily sissy time
>Manlets are literally crawling over me as that fucking mastiff watches
>They gift me a bigger squat plug

I guess I'm pretty happy, this new plug engages my core amazingly.

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>>41328357

>go to the gym
>chest/tris day
>I end diping
>BP is next
>wait for the gym bus
>hours pass, my pump is lost, bus dosen't seem to appear
>I decide to walk
>I have to walk 3 hours to get there
>I loose all my gainz in the process because cardio

Godamn, I lost 5 years of progress just because the gym bus driver crashed to the squat rack building yesterday.

how the fuck do you guys have so much imagination

>>41327483
ICEfags BTFO

>>41328826
This meme is going off the rails

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>>41327379
>flat tire on the row machine
>have to call a row truck

>Walk into gym
>Swat away manlets that keep running around
>Get ready to bench press
>Notice lifting bud walk in
>He sees me on the bench
>We both smile
>Buddy rushes towards me knocking manlets and sending them flying by just touching his glorious 6'8" body
>Buddy raises my legs as I prepare to bench 7pl8s
>Getting our timing right, bud slides his 9 inch dick inside as I bench
>I match my benching with his speed
>Manlets and fatties watch in horror
>Chads begin sweating and blush as they call us gay
>Normal people cheer us on
>Gym Coroner has dictated our bench as a 'No Homo Zone'
>Two hours go by as the sound of meat slapping meat and the clanking of weights reverberates through the entire gym
>Buddy cums liters into my ass
>Don't complain about wasted protein as the anus absorbs it better
>Gym Coroner assigns manlets to clean the bench, they comply and rub their sore necks
>Get up, whisper in his ear "No homo" and give him a kiss on the lips
>Head to the Deadlift area holding hands with buddy

Today was a good day. Can't wait to see him tomorrow at the squat rack.

>>41328826
At least you didn't get arrested for thotcrime

>>41328438
>being black

>go to gym
>work out
>leave

>>41330186
The fuck is wrong with you, lad?

>it's glute day
>need to hit some anal extensions
>no one in the gym has a big enough dick to spot me
>had to settle and barely even got a good set in

I guess that's the price of making it

>>41330308
>Not getting two of the biggest available and sticking them both in.
Your body might make it, but your brain wont.

>>41328357
Fantastic

>>41328551
I laughed so hard I choked. Why is this so fucking funny?

>>41329812
kekarino

>be shopping at gym grocer
>looking for chicken rice MRE
>all they have is beef
>check isle 3
>nope just beef
>go to isle 5 and wait for it to clear out
>look left and right, double check
>wait for ceiling cam to pan left
>quickly remove 10th black floor tile
>quickly grab \chicken rice MRE from my hidden stash

fuck I'm starting to run low on chicken rice, anyone know wtf is happening? Did they discontinue it or what?

>>41329667
Creatine

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>>41330387
>when the creatine hits you

>>41329092
the manlet pit is my home now

>>41328397
Autism

>doing skateboard squats last Wednesday
>new guy comes up to me and tries to tell me they're pointless and don't do anything
His execution is dated for tomorrow, I'm excited lads

>about to start deadlifting
>krypteia from the next gym over comes in and kills 10 people at random
for fuck's sake, so tired of the rivalry

>>41329667
Coke is tight

>go to my usual gym as always
>hear some weird sounds, seems like they're coming from the ceiling
>talk to manager about it
>he promises to call an exterminator
>a week after the exterminator arrives, the gym is shut down
>text gym manager (we're pretty good buddies) about it, he says the infestation was just too much
>something seems weird about the way he says it though
>a few months later I get a call from him
>he says he's sorry for lying, and won't tell me what he means unless we meet
>invite him over to my house
>when he arrives he tells me to sit down
>tells me that the exterminator didn't find any pests
>what he found was a few open cans of food, and a stained blanket
>manager didn't call the cops because he was afraid of the reputation his business would get
>didn't make much sense to me since he closed the place anyway, but he was insistent on it
>hands me some photographs
>says they were found with the blanket
>none of them are in focus, but after flipping through a few I figured out what they were
>they were all photos of me in the gym shower
Apparently it turned a manlet had escaped the pit and was living in the ceiling

>>41330186

You're a sick piece of shit, you know that?

>>41330808
this is getting ridiculous

>timing chain snapped on brand new squat plug

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>>41328826
>mutter to myself "I don't want to get big, I just wanna be toned"

>O boy! Time for some multi-treadmill running (dat solstice cut)!
>Both both kneecaps back from the shop, gonna hit the double treads, double cuts!
>Arrive at gym, get scanned, see some lanklet dude dressed in checkerboard tights with 2 legs but 3 shoes using all the treads, looks like cirque du brolet.
>Want to get mad, but I'm entranced, along with every other gym patron. Every tread is being used by this madman in a magical dance that makes me understand how fragile life is, and how transitory.
>Hung up my caps that very day
>Now I'm planning out a performance art piece that doesn't use treads, but makes people feel whimsy and awe, like children getting fed for the first time.

Wish me luck bros!

>>41329781
FUCk this gave me a boner

>accidentally lock knees
>forgotten keys at home
I spent two hours in the same position, waiting for the locksmith.

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>me
>doing lunges
>some 5"3 manlet sees my gallon water jug with 6 scoops of amino x and creatine
>he steals it
>gym police cant find him

>messing around with strange puzzle box
>suddenly a bright light shines in the room
>exercise equipment bursts from the walls and the ceiling
>a pale man in leather, with thousands for roid needles sticking in his head appears before me
>"You opened the box, brah"
>stunned, I ask what he is
>"gains goblin to some, lifting buddy to others"
>he then takes me to his dimension
I'm now experiencing routines beyond this mortal coil, where bulking and cutting intertwine

>>41331112

They don't make em like they used to.

>>41329285
Wtf /o/ memes on /fit/?

>>41329285
>Supercharged
You fool. You shoulda went for a turbocharged V8!

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>another day at the gym
>walk to the squat rack
>go under the bar, ready to lift it up
>can't reach it
>something ain't right
>I have to get on my toes to even feel it on my traps
>remember they increased the manlet limit again
>panic and try to act cool
>too late, I was already seen
>the Manlet Police arrives
>"sir I'm afraid you need to be at least 6'1 to lift that"
>b-but I was tall enough just yester-
>"sir I'm going to have to ask you to follow me"
>follow the MP, he takes me across the gym straight into the very jaws of the beast
>"sir, I'm assuming you know what this is"
>he points at the manlet pit
>hundreds of manlets screaming and tip-toeing
>one manlet was rocking back and forth muttering to himself "there's no frame without height, there's no frame without height" over and over again
>get pushed into the pit
>for a while, everyone stops in their tracks and gets quiet
>they all stare at me
>they slowly approach me, the sheer number of the manlets overwhelms me
>get consumed by the pit
>think you're going to die
>it continues for what feels like eternity
>suddenly, hear a scream "release the manlets!"
>the doors of the pit open, straight to a nearby alley
>the manlets ree and run, I can see moonlight
>at home mom yells at me for being late for dinner
it's not fair

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>>41328397
What did he mean by this

>>41327902
traplets are the worst

>>41331659
hate when this happens

by far the best meme to have come out of /fit/ in years

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>go to gym before work
>try to leave after 45 minutes
>trainer puts his arm in front of the door and says 'woah woah woah you still have a lot of work to do buddy'
>tosses me in the manlet pit
>late for work

>be between my squat sets
>see chad spitting his protein shake into the manlet pit and laughing at them with thier mouths pointing in the air like children in snow
still fap to the memory.

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>go to a new gym
>go through the manlet detector
>it beeps
>it fucking beeps
>stand there sweating
>"there's no way"
>"they couldn't have increased the height limit"
>the gym receptionist gives me a weird look
>turns out it turns on the alarm when a manlet goes through
for fuck sake, I almost had a heart attack

>join local gold's gym
>first day
>squat rack is occupied even though i booked it for 7-7.30
>tell receptionist
>she tells me to call customer support
>put on hold for 15 minutes
>they ask for my squat max
>tell them i haven't squatted before
>have to create an account over the phone
>time slot's up at this point
>gym bard laughs at my misfortune and makes a song out of it
had to pay a booking fee, lost my deposit AND had to swap my restroom privileges with a pajeet to use the leg extension. thinking about applying for a home gym.

>>41331922
>gym bard
this is getting out of hand

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>>41330186
Is that even possible? Can he do that?

>>41331931
kek

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>>41331922

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>>41328826

>>41331922
>join Leads Gym
>get lockjaw after first day

>>41327379
> about to do benchpress
> some cunt used up all the reps
> have to spend half an hour winding it back up
> winding counts as time on the timesheet
> only get 1 set before my turns over

Fucking reeeee

>I'm finishing my third set of five reps on bench when the GOMAD alarm sounds. It startles me and the bar plops on to my chest and sticks there. The 2 plate gravity is too much for me to handle. But I'm still a novice, I have to keep making linear gains for another two weeks. The rest of the novii have passed me on their gain amplifying anti cardio scooters. I inhale one last gasp of air in a poorly executed valslava manouver and scrunch up my face and close my eyes in exertion. Everything I have learned flashes through my brain, straight bar path, hip drive, squeezing my traps and shoulder blades together as hard as I can. The weight won't go up. It won't budge. When all of a sudden as if by a miracle I press the weight up and rack it. I breathe a sigh of relief and relax. No manlet pit and milkboarding torture for me. Then I heard those dreaded words spoken in a deep milky voice "Looks like it's time for a De-load" I opened my eyes but I couldn't see anything but a thick and meaty cock. At least 9 inches long half chub. This was at a minimum a tier 3 Chad overseer, Rip's most thick, solid and tight disciples. Spaghetti spills from my pockets and soils the holy bench and gym floor. There is no way out

>enter the gym
>squats
>look both sides to see if the racks are full
>keep walking looking up
>fall in the manlet pit
>fuck
>3 manlets in total asking me 'what's my routine bro'
>'yo broh you have some juicy legs'
>thanks... I do SS and GOMAD h-ha-ha
>manlets help me out
>I go to the empty rack
>tfw 5'11 life

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>>41327379

>>41328466
underrated

>>41332412
kek

>>41329285
Topjej nice.

But the gtr a shit m9

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>>41331516
good post

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>tfw twinky manlet
>at gym trying to get huge
>try out incline bench
>manage to unrack bar but can't complete rep, arms give out, everything's going black, cry out for help
>someone sits in my lap what the fuck
>oh no it's the gym milf
>she shoves her sweaty H cups in my face
>"looks like you need some all natural supplements, anon"
>forceably breastfeeds me
>gain 20 pounds of muscle from her liquid gains
t-thanks gym milf

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>>41327379
>Captain of the gym basketball team.
>For shits and giggles, we play against a manlet squad during one of our preseason games.
>We win 111-0
They still haven't learned.

>>41328826
underrated

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>>41331516
We have such Gains to show you

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>walking from bench press to incline bench
>bar at the incline bench is padlocked to the rack
>Fuck
>quickly turn to leave
>Gym Jester blocks my path
>Starts chanting while doing cartwheels around me

>"Anon answer me
>these questions three,
>and the incline key
>I'll give to thee"

>His riddles are always too hard
>Fuck it, I'll just go do decline bench instead
>Gym jester basically calls me a coward and a brainlet as I walk away
>Can hear the whole gym snickering as Gym Jester continues to roast me

Life is pain, /fit/.

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>just finish my last set of dumbbell incline to exhaustion
>I'm ready to collapse
>got a really good sweat going
>get up and head to the water fountain for a quickie
>really craving a good slurp of cold gym water
>It's gonna really refresh me and give me the endurance to keep going.
>might get another set in after that sweet sweet agua
>get to the water fountain and the Gym Sphinx blocks my path

>"Anon, anon, I know you're about to expire,
>and you feel like you've hit the wall,
>but if you can answer my riddle entire,
>then you can taste from this waterfall"

>fuck it
>going home
>too tired to deal with this fucking Sphinx's riddle
>Gymstappo stop me
>tell me, that once you make eye contact with the Gym Sphinx you have to answer its question
>get thrown into the manlet pit

Fuck this, I'm switching to Gold's Gym

>>41332634
>The rest of the novii have passed me on their gain amplifying anti cardio scooters
kek'd

>>41331393
Underrated

>>41331630
Butthurt GM fangirl detected

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>cheat day
>gym server is VAC enabled

>>41328749
>factorio

my nigga

>>41327379
>leg day
fucking brosplitting fag

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>gym clown won't stop wiggling my squat plug when I'm trying to squat
>tfw all my shorts have cum stains now

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>tfw you'll never be a creative autist thinking up goofy shit on a vietnamese tai chi appreciation board
why even life brethren?

>doing OHP 5x5
>local Englishman slaps my butt and tells me to "keep it toight"
>lose tightness for a split second because he surprised me
>the beefeater patrol saw this
>they immediately seize me and pack me away in their motorized rollingham
>get taken to Her Majesty
>she calls me a poofter and tells me that I'm going to hang for this
Luckily it was tea time soon after and I was able to slip away. Don't lose tightness when OHPing brahs.

>about to enter my designated non-manlet gym
>gym praetorian stops me at the airlock
>show him my papers to prove I'm 5"11
>he throws me out anyway
>realise today is the ministry of gains yearly review
>mfw I forgot to factor in manlet inflation

>>41335670
Gotta stay up to d8 m8

>gym decided to enforce no shoes policy when measuring the manlett cutoff.
>half of gym is gone now

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>pl8 dispenser is jammed
>the gym mechanic is sick with aids from the gym twink
>hang either side of a barbel in the manlet pit
>they latch on
>squat lmao3 manlets for reps
>re-rack the manlets
>tip the receptionist and leave

>>41328826
/fitlit/

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Do american gyms have manlet pits for real? Here in euroland we have lanklet towers.

>200m tower
>next to the squat rack
>lanklets can't do anything apart from miring my perfect atg pause squat
>their tears are collected and bottled
>sometimes a lanklet tries to escape but the gym falcon gets him in midair
>feelsgoodtobeamanlet.jpg

>>41335861
I don't get it.

>>41328826
legacy of /fitlit/, nice

i just ate a whole pizza and drank two pints of beer. should I kill myself

fuck

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>>41335189
pour me one, and cheers to you

>>41335889
manlet propaganda

>someone shaved off the edges of the plates again
>they forgot to reiron this month
>thought I did a PR but it was just babby weight

>>41328826
/fitlit/ lives on in our hearts.