I got a drug test next friday. I smoked a few joints yesterday,

steal someones semen

you're fucked. enjoy prison/unemployment.

Depends what type of drug test they do, yes is the short answer. No is the longer answer if it's a hair test.

No.

>>41244041
> 6'1, 160 lbs with 9%bf
lots of water, some b12 to re-add color to your urine and you're pretty much in the clear unless you're a heavy smoker.

Go to GNC and find their lock cage. Should have some grape flavored cleanser in it.

Chug the entire bottle, despite the flavor. Wash it down with cranberry juice. Prepare to piss violet for 2 days.

Should do the trick. Negligible amounts of weed, like joints, usually pass in 5-8 days. This dumb shit will cut that down.

And whatever you do, do not burp or vomit it up. Its 20x worse coming back than it is coming down.

Op here.

It's so that I am allowed to participate in a medical research. It's not for a job interview.

As far as I know it''s done via urine.
Not blood or sperm, thats for sure.

Dumbass. That shit stays in your system forever. I was a drug tester, I remember I would have people come to the clinic and pop for weed for a month or two straight. I knew the guy wasn't smoking since the lab results showed the levels always going lower and lower. But yeah, there is no hope. Your only chance is to try and cheat ( but if you get caught it's really fucking bad) buy a fake dick and fill it with your friends piss. Make sure it's fresh because labs can tell its old AND the tester can feel that it is cold. Make sure you make the fake dick darker. I busted people with fake dick pissers because it was an unnatural color, so try to make it natural dick color. Make sure the sample is warm, make sure it's not diluted ( no chugging water ), don't do to much b vitamins because that'll fail you too. Too much b vitamins in those detox drinks make your piss fluorescent yellow and the tester will be suspicious. I hope this helps you.

T. Drug tester

>>41244128
t. liar

If you're finding traces after months and months of not smoking then that person is likely on keto and blowing it out with ketones.

THC binds to your fat cells but it won't continue to be shot out with urine.

>>41244041

Did you have a completely clean system before those 2 joints? If you are lean you will be clean in about a week. Drinking excessive water won't help, just drink your regular gallon a day. I would suggest being lethargic and eating a lot, try to pack on a few pounds of clean fat before your test. Drink plenty of water before the test. B vitamins are obvious. They make your piss neon. Drinks do the same, maybe even turn it green. But if you really want a drink, a cheap alternative is taking creatine for a few days before the test and the day of the test, 4 aspirin (not ibuprofen or Tylenol) and a multi b vitamin 4 hours before the test, a 950ml Gatorade with a pack of liquid pectin (stuff used to make jam) 2 hours before the test, then drink a bottle of water every 30-45 minutes after the Gatorade, and make sure you piss immediately before you go in for your test. Piss in a cup in a car. Piss on a wall outside, whatever. You need to piss 15 minutes before your test. 20 minutes tops. This will let a heavy smoker pass 2 days after he stops smoking 90% of the time. With you it's complete overkill, but the option is there for you.

>>41244179
This sounds like it would make you throw up or die

>>41244309

No, just makes you piss a lot. I had to do it after I accidentally ate 3 slices of pound cake laced with shatter. Dude thought it would be funny to spike us, didn't care I had a job interview in a week. Can't even taste weed when it's made with shatter. We aren't friends anymore.

>>41244041

Synthetic urine is the only way. Google quickfix.

>>41244041
THIS GUY POSTS ON REDDIT
CHECK REDIT
DUMB REDDITOR

NICE REPOST

>6.1 Dilution: Hyper saturating your body with fluids will dilute metabolites possibly below the 50 ng/mL threshold, depending on your metabolism. Be aware that creatinine levels are often tested, and will show that the sample has been diluted. Diluting your sample will also produce clear urine, with virtually no yellow color. They will assume that you've diluted your sample, and they may reject your sample on the basis of color alone. It's only necessary to start drinking just before the test. Those who drown themselves in fluid days before a test are only causing unnecessary discomfort. Those who stay up all night drinking don't have any better chance than one who drinks heavily first thing in the morning. Get up early if the test is early, but don't lose sleep over a test that's given in the daytime.

>6.1.1 Water: Drink at least eight hefty glasses of fluid (preferably water) just prior to the test. Many people start drinking water several days before the test; which is useless. Water does *not* clean any THC metabolites out of your system because THC is not water soluble. Water only dilutes urine temporarily. Do not over do it; you can get water intoxication. People can actually overdose and even die from water intoxication. It's very hard to do, and you'll vomit before anything gets serious.

>6.1.2 Creatinine level: Eating red meat will boost creatinine levels. If you eat a lot of red meat for the 3 days prior to the test, your creatinine level will be normal, and the lab won't know that you've diluted your urine sample.

>>41244128
>larping
I've pissed clean after 4 days

>>41244041
Speaking from experience, your best bet is to pound lots of cranberry pills/juice and lots of tea until the day of the test. Do not take any of these the day of the test. Good luck man but that's a very small time frame to detox weed

>>41244041
Get a crate of gatorade and 2 loaves of bread

Eat/drink it all as fast as possible

>>41244170

>>41244752

I had a guy who had such a bad problem, the courts mandated him to have his samples sent for lab analysis no matter what. Every single test came back positive, and I remember it being an unusually long amount of time. It was over a month, easy. Maybe he was a unique case? Who knows, all I can say is that from my experience it is possible to test positive for a long, long time.