>You can meet your 16 year old self for 10 minutes. What fitness

>>41124233
eat less cake do more push ups

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fuck his boipussy

>>41124233
lift and eat you little shit, running alone isnt going to cut it

>>41124233
none, my 16yo self fucked the prettiest pussy back in highschool.
He'd probably scoff at me if I tried to give him any advice.

Buy bitcoin, because life rewards money, not muscle.

Buy a lot of bitcoin. MEW! Eat a lot and a lot of veggies and do a sport, maybe lift. Don't focus too much on school

save yourself the effort of convincing yourself life is not like your animes, because it is. So lift and powercreep.

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>>41124233
It's okay to leave Football, but keep lifting you dumb fuck.

I'd probably then tell him about how calories in, calories out work, and explain how to cook good meals, while explaining that being 300 pounds is no fun and is a miserable existence.

If you are already 5'9 tall you can start lifting

>>41124233
>What fitness and diet advice to you give?

>fitness and life advice
>not advice to financial success so he can full-time into lifting

>fuck girl X
>fuck girl Y
>fuck girl Z
>write out a basic weightlifting program ( I'm going off the assumption I can't just bring notes)
>explain calories in/out and protein
>don't date girl £

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leave her and fuck other sluts bro

lose weight and use that fucking free dental care you retard

>>41124233
Stop moping over katie she won't fuck you till college, Jessie is hotter and wants your dick like crazy you stupid mong. Just kiss her.
And keep up the cardio even when you take up weightlifting. You get strong as fuck but you don't stay lean. Cut out soft drinks and only drink your tea half sweet. You won't regret it, it makes everything else taste better.

quit

>>41124233
Stop smoking weed and lift you fucking faggot

Start sooner

>>41124233
Ditch the computer and the video games and start working out, you piece of shit. While you're at it, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You're never going back to Calgary, so start actively socializing with the people here. Just fake it til you make it and things should work out ok.

And tell your parents to invest in bitcoins

Roid at 21, nuke your nuts with a heating pad beforehand and bust inside get, don't date Cheyenne (she stops sucking dick and gains 100 pounds, quickly)

Don't become anorexic for a year :(

>>41124503
Also, Magan has a thing for you, so kiss her when you're alone in the car with her. She and her boyfriend are gonna break up in the next couple weeks, so just fucking go for it, never mind your reservations about her relationship

And for God's sake, be very very careful with the liquor in university, or it's gonna ruin the whole thing for you.

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>>41124233
I would hug him

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>all the regret in this thread

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>>41124447
>use that fucking free dental care you retard

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>>41124552

I'd slap the shit out of that skinny nerd.

Seriously.
It doesn't matter what the people in your high school think about you. You're going to keep in touch with exactly one of them.
Your tendency to intuitively coast through classes and still get As is going to fuck you in the ass in university, so learn how to sit down and study now, while the stakes are low.
Just because you can see your abs doesn't mean you're not a skeleton. Count calories and lift weights you delusional skeleton.
Women aren't mystical creatures that you always have to be nice to.
Speak your mind when you think it's prudent. Otherwise, say nothing.
Flaccid cock size doesn't mean anything.
Your parents' ideas about where you should go to school and what you should take are less important than your own ideas about where you should go to school and what you should take.

Dr. K. can fix your acne for real.

That's the only advice I needed. I quit the wrestling team because I was embarrassed about the keloid scars all over my body. That doctor cured me in like six months.

don't wait til 25 to start lifting.

Consistency is 10x more important than perfection. Just fucking go all the time.

>>41124678
This.

get dad to invest everything he has into google
fuck /fit/ness that can come later

>>41124233
Warn Zyzz.

Fight me to the death. If I end up beating me within that 10 minutes I eat through my throat and spine.

>>41124233
>act as you always would and cherish your friends, you will learn valuable lessons along the way that I cannot teach you here. Good luck

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>>41124315
>Don't focus too much on school

Terrible advice. Why would you say that to a teen?

>>41124233
Just talk to people... quit being such a cringy autistic loner

youre literally one of the tallest guys in the school stop being so autistic

f-fuck

>>41124233
"Nigga you gotta start eating. You gotta start learning how to cook, then consider picking up weight training. And because I know you'll ask, no, lifting won't automatically give you a girlfriend, but you should still do it. You gotta go outside for the gf to happen."

>>41124233
Fuck the shit out of Amber. Jacob was a pleb-tier friend anyways and he wouldn't of cared if you fucked his ex. Also quit playing video games before you go semi professional and focus on weight lifting instead. Will save you the trouble of running in to Anna and royally fucking up your life for 3 years.

>>41124233
Work out hard now and reap the benefits while you can. Just be whoever you want to be, you don't need to do something to see what it was like for your dad and grandfather. Only one girl will be worth your time and care for you and her name is...

>>41124233

>Practice your intonation on your instrument with a drone
>Chromatic tune day 1
>Whole tone tuning day 2
>Fully-diminished 7th chords day 3
>Major third stacks day 4
>Octave tuning day 5
>actually learn how to articulate and double tongue, stop faking
>learn all the scale patterns early


That would put me in a much better position right now musically.

>>41124942
>Just talk to people... quit being such a cringy autistic loner
I'm currently a senior... have a few months left... do I just suck it up and try to be more social in college at this point?

literally no friends, never talk to anyone, eat lunch at home.

>>41124972
No matter what, the only way to get better at social interaction is to do it. The sooner you accept this the better. get out of your comfort zone. TRUST ME

>>41124972
You should probably fuck off from this side, fagot.

>>41124983
i have like 2-3 months left of high school. ive fallen into the role of the autist that never talks. my question is at this point is it better to just finish like that rather than try to change shit now? and just take a year off or something and try to be social in college later?

>>41125003
If you want honest advice, just try to do some shit for the last few months and talk to as many people/ask as many girls out as possible. Even if you make a fool out of yourself you won't get mocked for it long anyways since you will go to college soon.

I fucking hate this thread.

We're all feeling the same one way or another. But it's not gonna happen.

Dont dwell on the past.

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>>41125003
>>41124972
In my experience you're too far gone. I was like that and tried to change it in uni and just ended up hating people even more. I was literally grossed out by them and would get so autistically angry when they were laughing and enjoying socializing. Your autism may be less severe though.

>For gods sake DO NOT CUT OF YOUR DICK
>you are not transsexual, just gay

>>41124233
He wouldn't listen to me anyway

>>41124233
Your life will get better with each passing year my man, just stick through the bullshit.

Also break up with your gf when you're unhappy, don't cheat around. Not because moral or some shit, but because the stigma follows you for a long time.

>>41124534

"okay I'll last longer I promise thanks anon"

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>>41124550

That... Also, keep working out, but forget the machines. Break up with X now, it won't end nice anyway. And forget Y, there is other pussy waiting for you if you open your fucking eyes and look around.

>>41124233
Don't ever browse /fit/

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>>41124256
But what if you get yourself preggers?

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>>41124233
Wear your goddamn retainer, you little shit.

>>41124972
same bro
>no prom date feelsbad

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stop playing runescape and pour all of the time you would spend gaming into an actually valuable talent.

thats about it.

was literally the hottest guy at my school (6'4, built like a truck, dressed well, and had a good face) and sat in my room playing runescape majority of my weekends when i could have been fucking any stacy.
only times i ever got laid was drunk at parties.

i seriously fucking missed out.

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>>41124678

Stop making excuses and hang out with people. Also, don't ask the friend of your future to prom. Makes a funny story though.

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>do freestyle wrestling

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>>41124233
>the GOAT anime of all time will be airing on April 3rd of this year, make sure you watch it.
>start lifting now, you're not gonna grow past 6'2".
>do shitloads of chest work, it's gonna take a long time for you to get it where you want.
>make your parents buy you protons instead of xbox live and vidya.
>ASK BRIANNA TO PROM YOU FUCKING LOSER.

>Try to breathe with your mouth closed as often as possible

No joke.

you're doing it wrong, brush your teeth too fool

>it's already been 5 years
Fuck man
Life was only good for me like end of 17-19 though

Fitness. Stay consistent. That's what will make or break you. Actually start lifting rather than doing like 500 pushups. Also take care of your posture and make sure you stretch to take care of back pain. You don't need to be so autistic about diet don't sweat the small stuff.

Life. Fuck if I know dude. I know you love wrestling now but you'll end up quitting. Try dating D. I don't care if you can't talk to girls just try one date. You'll always regret what if otherwise. Don't date E even if you like her. She's at good persons at heart and not in the best place. Make sure she feels well and be a good friend. You just won't work out. She's had it rough and you aren't ready for that. You know what you want to do now but some day you won't. Get on those books you want to read. Still adventure with your friends that shit is great even though you should be practicing. Don't drop out of college. Make sure you know what you want going in otherwise you'll just want to kill yourself, and then kill yourself again for dropping out.

If it doesn't work out let's hope you get the same opportunity I did. Maybe one of us will be happy

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Go to 4chan /fit/, read the sticky. lift 5 days a week. Cardio on weekend. Eat whole foods only. Avoid carbs. CICO.

Save up all money for bitcoins. buy as many as you can until they reach $700, cash out immediately.

Learn about preserving wealth through investing.

Never use credit. Rid your family of debt. Help rid your town of debt. Hire only your fellow city men.

Don't go to college. Start working on your videogame idea. Open a skateboard shop.

Don't try killing yourself when one day you feel God has betrayed you. I promise you he hasn't. You're going to feel an incredible amount of pain after a certain event. This pain is necessary, and it will drive much of your success in life.

Bet on Trump.

Not all Jews, but fucking hell, it sure is a lot of them.

Most importantly: Never, ever, ever give up.

Eat more you skinny fuck, and for the ever loving in love of fuck DONT GO TO AG SCHOOL!!!
You'll only waste 7 years of your life dairy farming, go straight into the army, do it you pussy fuck!!

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do your homework
move your computer to the living room

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>>41124233
tell him to start focusing on school/violin/and to go to the gym and stop following Stacy around like some beta orbiter. and that things will work out and that mom is gonna be okay after her surgery and even though dad's mental condition is slowly getting worse and worse to be strong because you have a new baby sister on the way.
I would tell him to buy a YMCA pass and use the free weights, to squat, to bench, to deadlift, to get stronger and bigger for the long journey that lies ahead.
I'd tell him to despise and love him.
And to make me proud.

Take my future counter and sell it to Intel, take money and invest it in Bitcoin, no more dairy farming for me, and the world gets a huge technological boost.

>>41124233
Cut her off completely and don't respond after she begged

Lift consistently, use the time you jacked off in the gym

Cutttttttt

>>41126433
>lift 5 days a week
what?

>>41124233
Share a brotein-shake and high five a lot

>>41124233
Get braces, it's only 1-2 years you absolute narcicisstic faggot, it's worth it. And if you're really not gonna wear glasses because you worry so much about looking cool, get contacts. Dumbass

>>41126523
he still hasnt read the sticky..

>>41126464
this. fucking christ almighty THIS

eat cyanide

>>41124233
>What fitness and diet advice to you give?
GROW GROW GROW

literally the only helpful thing i could do

You will get Gerd. It's not a heart attack, it's acid in your stomach and esophagus from all the molly you'll take. KEEP WORKING OUT!

Use a condom more. Don't get dirty head. Invest in bitcoin. (fit related or not, gonna say it)

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Kill yourself. Things didn't get any better despite your best efforts.

>>41124233

none

I had a shitty diet at 16 and was extremely skinny.
Later at 19 I dropped out of college and fell into a deep depression because I felt like there was nothing in this world for me and I was either too stupid or too weak to get anything done.

Just when I hit rock bottom and led a NEET life I decided to actually start tackling the reading lists on /lit/ and /pol/.
I went through anything from Virgil to Popper and Plato to Nietzsche.
I fell in love with the stoic calm, individual action and the will to power and I funneled that new found energy into my studies and workouts.

Now at 21 I'm at a healthy weight and on a good track to finish college with a STEM degree in 2018.

I don't know what would have happened had I not first experienced life at its worst.
I feel like it gave me a very good understanding about why I'm putting my body through this and why I may not stop pushing myself further.
My past self keeps me going at 100%.
I never want to go back.

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>>41124552

My life is literally nothing but regrets. regrets and torment.

Essentially death by cringe.

>>41126218

>playing Runescape past middle school
>not wasting your youth away being a NEET playing WoW all day

the autism is real. Can't even ruin your life the right way...

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>>41124233
start now
dont smoke that first cig
dont drink that first drink

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>>41124233
No one your age has any idea what they're doing.
Quit being beta.You have no reason to.
High School means fuck-all. Just don't fail.
Learn to eat right, but don't obsess over it.
Learn to discipline yourself immediately.

>>41124233
Don't fucking pick up a cigarette.
Machines are for pussies lift actual weight.
Get a job earlier than 22, college won't help you much.
You're not socially retarded or even that awkward, you just hate people, know that and use it to your advantage.

why can't i meet my 40 year old self instead

im the one in need for advice

Don't use switch grip on deads

>>41124233
I don't think I would have benefited, growing up is part of life and I don't think I would have had the dedication back then, the time from 16 to 20 is like 20-40 for most people.

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>>41124233

That 10 minutes alone would be enough to completely turn things around and save my life. Hell, I'd just need 2 minutes.

If only...

>>41127002
Actually I think I would have just told myself to browse /fit/, go hard or go home and just do what feels right, shit on any program and just get fucking strong.

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>>41124233

I'm going to give you a summary of what I did in the next 7 years.
You're free to do the same, or something else, it doesn't matter.
You're going to be as sad as you are now, but worse with the knowledge that you're getting older. Every new goal, every achievement, every improvement, they will all be empty, and will leave you wondering just why it's not making you happy, even though you believed "You just had to do x" and you were "Just bored/lazy".
In time you will also develop into an asexual grey thing as an effect to that apathy, but somehow still crave for affection without being attracted by anyone, or wanting to endure a relationship anyway.

I have no advice to offer, or I would have taken it for myself a long time ago.
Good luck.
At least you'll lift lmao2pl8 relatively fast when you finally get lifting.

the pussy wasn't worth it

focus on your education

money is necessary

>>41124233
Make sure to stretch. It only gets harder as you get older and gain more muscle mass. Lack of flexibility will really fuck you over on squats.

>>41124233
Start counting calories and lifting immediately.

>>41124233
quit vidya as a hobby in exchange for lifting and study you lazy piece of shit

>stop being a pussy and take responsibility of your actions
>just because mom expects you to be the adult she's not, doesn't mean you are
>you are in every way just a child, accept it
>move away from home, but not to another city
>focus on school, don't throw everything away because of your insecurities
>x loves you, don't worry, you'll still be together in your mid-twenties
>don't be afraid to love x back, your pussy behavior will cause a lot of damage in your relationship
>bulimia won't help in losing weight and will destroy your teeth
>being thin and cute should not be your top priority, don't be afraid to put on muscle
>start eating less, you really have no reason to eat so much with the way you're living
>you always wanted to take up martial arts and swimming, demand mom and dad to pay for them; i know getting mom to agree seems impossible, ask her anyway
>broccoli and cottage cheese are both god-tier, eggs are good for you
>start cooking with veggies more, you'll like it more than meat
>start jogging, it'll get rid of all your breathing problems in like 3 weeks
>again, don't avoid putting on muscle; you want to be strong, not cute
>mom will go to therapy at some point, but will not change; she's a toxic person and you shouldn't be afraid of cutting her out of your life
>dad doesn't give a shit about you, don't make an effort to keep in touch
>things with x are going to be alright
>you will stop being crazy the minute you stop expecting an apology and accept responsibility for moving forward
>you are still good at math, it's the situation at home that's fucking you up
>start programming, you'll be majoring in computer sciences
>don't let any of this wait to another day

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>>41126218
>i seriously fucking missed out.

>went to parties
>has been laid

fuck outta here with that bullshit

>>41124233
>start going to the gym long before you are 24
>keep your diet on track, fast metabolism won't last
>don't drink excessively all the time and fall into alcoholism
>dump X way sooner than you did
>stop caring so much about what others think of you. Do what is right for you
>it is better to have a few close friends than many superficial ones

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>>41125972
What the fuck man, you didn't do this right?

>>41127495
>fast metabolism won't last
When will you skinnyfags get it?
Fast metabolism is a meme. If you were skinny you just didn't eat that much

>>41127506
When I was in my mid teens I ate loads of shit and didn't put on any weight. May well be a meme, didn't count calories then. Continued the same habits in my late teens and got fat.

>>41124233
Don't confess your feelings for her.
Read the sticky.
Keep lifting.
Don't start smoking weed.
Focus more on school.

>>41124233
"It's not, I repeat, it's not too late to pick up Judo and boxing again. Get back into at least one of them. But even more important: You are depressed and you need to talk to a professional. Start off with seeing the school counselor and take it from there. I went to see her when I was 17 or 18, she's great. You have been hating yourself your entire life and it's time you get some help, because otherwise you're not even beginning to get better until you're 25. Don't compare yourself to the idiots in your class, they don't know shit about life, just like your brother said. Judo, boxing, school counselor. During the summers you could pick up running, imagine starting second year fucking running the 30 km to school. It's not too late for you. You have worth. It's not too late."

>>41127506
t. Fatty

Buy all the bitcoin you can when it's still cheap as fuck.

Literally my only regret.

cut
get testosterone test
save money for steroids
learn about the jews and adolf hitler, you need a role model in your life

>implying i wouldn´t kill the faggot

Fucking time loop wouldn´t let me do it though.

>>41124233
COUNT. CALORIES. YOU. FAT. SHIT. Also fiber powder, seriously.

You've got fucking two years to fix this shit or you won't be with her for a decade. Get it fucking together.

>>41124233
I didn't exercise at all back then so I'd tell myself to hit the gym, it will be worth it.

>>41124233
idk not much, when i was 16 i was doing better than what i am now so i guess i would just tell him not to do what i did to end up like me

>>41124233
>you're not going to make it anywhere past high school with wrestling, so stop that shit now.
>read starting strength, and for fucks sake, eat lad.
>only working out 3 days a week should give you more time to study.
>Samantha's a whore, don't waste your time.
>if you still decide to go in the army, don't just stop going to school, either finish your first semester of college or withdraw from all your classes.
>oh and when you meet your future ex-wife in 2 years, pull out every time. She's a 26 year old woman-child who doesn't take responsibility for her actions. She'll say she's on birth control but she isn't.

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Hug him
Explain him where the fuck-ups in my life are from
How to sort himself out faster and where to find the infos (10 minutes is too short)
Tell him is very loved, and no, not by me only

And some financial advices

Dont EVER count calories, it will turn you into a faggot. Dont work out seven days a week using only machines.

>>41126523
Alternating PPL:
ABCAB
CABCA
BCABC

"Extra" days are high rep low weight days.

>>41124233
think before you do dumb shit and be more social
you might not want to kill yourself when you're older then

>>41124233
get on a real program and stop being so edgy

>>41127554
Addendum: Stop watching porn and cut down on fapping. You need the aggression in order to stop being walked over by everyone. Punch John straight in the fucking face, he's a bitch and will cry like one after a few strikes. Just do it out of nowhere, don't give him time to start with his usual bullshit. Show that fat fuck who's the boss.

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>>41124233
stop being fat

>>41124233

don't become an alcoholic at uni

>>41124233
Kys, there is just pain and pain

Dont fucking stop lifting, or else you will be skinnyfat.
Flex a cep for myself for motivation.
Also, start talking to and go on dates with those girls, fucking sucks to lose virginity and realise that its actually easy to talk to girls at 20

Stop giving a fuck what your parents think they will end up robbing you blind anyway start lifting now instead of later or tomorrow like you Walsh's think and spend less time on video games

>>41124233
Stop eating McDonald's every day, you fat fuck.
Also, Reanna wants your dick hardcore and you better fuck that ho.

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>>41124233
STOP

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>fitness
run more, make some of it HIIT too
>diet
nothing really, maybe drink a wee bit less and watch your sodium
>other advice, regarding school, job, girls, non /fit/ related self improvement in general, literally anything else besides fitness and diet
JFC WHERE SHOULD I EVEN BEGIN

>>41126992
sadly, this

>>41124233
drop the gym buddy

he will flake out and cancel on you all the fucking time

>>41127592
löl

>>41124233
Get all of the surgeries cunt.
You will waste nearly a whole decade in recovery if you don't.
Get them cut out, broken and bolted, split and nailed.
Then, just maybe, you can buy yourself some time before the very act of living becomes an affront to your senses and you lay awake in agony every night.
Also don't finger your sister. Not cool.

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None.

Can't get to the top without spending some time on the bottom first

I would tell him to get a job and go to a gym that isn't planet fitness and to do SS and go to /fit/ for general advice and not play guitar hero so much

>>41128898
what surgeries? this sounds pretty heinous, i like it.

>sister
pics pls

>>41126933
>>>41126218
>>playing Runescape past middle school
>>not wasting your youth away being a NEET playing WoW all day

This guy knows

>>41124929
because high school is worthless after you leave. sorry buddy but you've wasted your time.

>>41128904
Also true for gay porn.

>>41128898
Did you finger your sister?

What happened after that?

She was sleeping?

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Implying he would even understand at first, but alas.

>>41124675
I have no idea what my feel is about this comic, but I'm feeling it

>>41128946
Make sure to leave him behind your fedora.

You have BPD and PTSD. You won't get a diagnosis, but try to get help for those anyway.

Do NOT eat the meds they gave you.

Do keep going to the pool, it costs you peanuts now so take advantage of it.

Do squats.

Don't eat to much.

"Dont rejoin football and keep losing weight you retard"

>>41128957
since when is samuel johnson fedoracore? genuine question, i was not aware.

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Take your acne meds
Don't stay on wrestling, but try out for football
Don't listen to mom, she has no fucking clue what she's talking about
Play the game, talk to more people
Keep reading like you do, it makes a world of difference
Delete all social media except for a curated facebook/linkedin
Start learning quant modeling now
Keep lifting everyday and don't gain the weight back in college
Don't was your time with Erica, Katie or Anna, they'd all be more of a burden to you than you think
Start learning Japanese now so we can get that IB job at Mizuho in 6 years
Learn to dress better now, people notice
Stop spending time on any other site besides 4chan
Do your best to get into Georgetown or UPenn, state school is fine, but you'll have to work much harder for the same opportunities.

>>41124233

Never kiss A back, she'll suck you up in the most abusive two years of your life. Start lifting and eat clean. Focus on proper movement and routine.

Visit grandma more often, she enjoys it immensely.

You'll make it eventually.

>>41124769
>don't have a heart attack lad

>>41128898
>don't finger your sister. not cool

this is probably the only thing i would say to myself

my only real regret lol

Leicester will win PL 15/16 season.
Buy stocks in a company called Netflix.
Nintendo will make a huge success with PokemonGO game in the summer 2016. Buy stocks before and sell them at peak summertime.

Invest your prize money in real estate and let the money earn themselves so you can do whatever the fuck you want the rest of your life.

Also read the sticky on /fit/. Lift 4-5 times a week and don't neglect cardio. Hire a fulltime cook to make healthy food for you. Blame her if your gains are stalling.

>stop drinking now, people haven't started saying you're an alcoholic because you're le hardcore XD you little faggot

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>>41124233
Give up. You won't become a hero of justice.

Join football or the weightlifting team instead of track and field. Also when your crush touches your dick making a move on you don't give her a weird look making her apologize.

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>>41124678
>Flaccid cock size doesn't mean anything.

I kek pretty hard knowing this was at some point, actually an issue for some anon.

>>41124233
Why the fuck would I give him fitness and diet advice?

Get your wisdom teeth pulled because you'll be in pain 6 years from now

Don't dump your gf because she's the only one that ever loved you

Go to therapy now and stop being obese god fucking damnit

If all else fails please kill your self like you planned to that October thanks

Eat food and lift you skelly faggot

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>>41129214

>>41129214
MODS MODS MODS

Kill yourself before it is too late.

>>41127200
(you) for doubles and long story

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>>41124278
This

Btc was $7.15 per USD when I was 18. I knew about it, how to get it, and had a 20k inheritance at the time to invest but I didn't jump on....

Don't go on birth control to control your sex drive. Once you go off of it, your sex drive, your pituitary gland, and your ability to function will be permanently damaged, meaning tests out the ass later in the hope of salvaging yourself.

Also, drop honors chemistry, you dumb shit. You're gonna fail and fuck up your GPA.

Start working out now you pussy faggot. Also, do something about those girls that were showing obvious signs instead of being a retarded fuck holy shit.

Also when you go to college move into a real dorm or you won't get any fucking friends the entire whole time and you'll regret it. Also just go in for math or something or you'll still hate yourself until you do anyways.

Literally do not do the things you think you're going to do its all fucked idiot

>>41128928
>HS is useless bro, education is a waste of time.
I'll take a Big Mac meal with a diet Coke plz, and stop drooling on my new Bentley

>>41128928
sure thing man. no mayo on that, please

>>41126523
>Not lifting 6 days a week

>>41124233
1. Miles is going to die this year, prepare yourself.
2. stop watching anime all the time you faggot, it's gonna end up making it hard for you transition into normalcy when you realize it's pointless and gay
3. Break up with Claire and put yourself out there

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STOP SMOKING POT

JUST STOP

>>41124233
>Here's a list on names of women. When you meet these women, remember, they are absolute soul suckers, and you need to just ignore them.

>Your mother will leave your father when you are 20, and you will have never lived in a house with conflict until that happens. Be ready. Your dad likes 80 proof vodka, straight. Fucking Ashlee will only make it go away for 30 minutes at a time, plus, she's on the "do not talk" list, so just forgo her. Make sure you support him or he'll kill himself.

>Don't start smoking, please don't do this.

>Don't worry about the guy who keeps getting in the way of the one woman who is worth your time, he'll eventually kill himself, she'll stop talking to you, and a year later she'll admit everything to you, apologize, and then worship you for the rest of your life. Marry THAT one.

>>41124233
STOP MAKING EXCUSES. LIFT MORE. LAY OFF THE CALZONES. TELL MELODY THAT SHE'S A SLUT AND FORGET ABOUT THAT RELATIONSHIP.

Done. Set for life.

>>41131010
>By the way anon, when you're confidence from lifting attracts that cute little thing that you work with, just tell her to fuck off, look up her information in the HR database, and request a transfer for her under your managers credentials; she's a fucking basket of nightmares, and it's going to fuck up your marriage for the rest of your life.

>>41124233
Quality muscle is better than the muscle you develop following brotips.

>>41124233

>Your fuckups now will help you make it later, but the next time Josephine grinds her tits on your shoulders you don't have a meltdown and leave the room, invite her to your house you fucking pussy

>Also, in a few years you will be diagnosed with ADD and Asperger's, good luck!

>>41124233
Don't lose what you have now.

Put in the effort to keep this physique, because no matter how fit you get later you'll never be in quite the condition you are now.

>>41129043
>Visit grandma more. Holy fuck anon, that struck deep.

Leave her.
Go meet this person. Yes you might not like them at first, but you two will quickly fall in love. It's worth it.
Here are your tools to start game dev'ing. Practice art right now so you don't have to pay for artists.
You don't need to eat mostly meat. Rice, corn, peas, beans are good. Balance your diet.
Quit smoking. Please for the love of god quit. You've only been doing it for six months, it's easier for you than it is for me now.
Your fantasies aren't normal. You're on the schizophrenic spectrum, with PTSD and BPD. You're right to never want to try and get an official diagnosis out of fear. Don't do it, but that's what's wrong with you. The person I said to meet will help you with those greatly.
Ignore your mother. Talk to your aunt. Tell her everything. EVERYTHING. She will get you away from your mother.
And, most importantly, talk to your dad. I know you haven't spoken to him for a year, but trust me. What he did won't matter in another year.

Pull the trigger it doesn't get better

>>41124233
kys because it only gets worse from here.

>>41124233
You're gonna be alright pal. I don't want to tell you what's going to happen with dream of ours, but it was meant to happen and I don't want to prevent this.

Just know that I love you. Even if you're a fuck up now, you'll change someday.

>>41124233
Read the nutritional lable of everything you eat. Sure, you might understand that chocolate, chips and soda are bad for you, but you don't get the full extent of it. Also, eggs, bread, milk; generally normal food too has large amounts of calories in them.

FUCK fitness advice.

I'd grab him by the shoulders, look him in the eye and scream the pain of the last 8 years incoherently.

I like to think he'd understand.

you can treat your ocd immediatly instead of sitting there fearing about everything....
dont stop lifting, it will make you regret this forever
dont start smoking
love yourself more

>>41129214
>14
>6ft
King of lanklets in the making.

Immediately dump any girl that uses teeth.

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Stop taking amphetamines. They are making you a worse person and you won't be able to lose weight while taking them. They will also make you drop out of college so stop now.

Your strength coach is fucking retarded. You know more about exercise then him.

No it's not your fault that you can't squat like the other dudes. You're tall as fuck. Do wide stance instead. And only do it every once in a while

Bodyweight stuff works well. You know it. Do more of it and learn how to move your body better.

Occasionally go for max strength for everything but go for strength endurance above all.
The sprints are awesome keep it up. Tantric sex is meaningless right now.

You're 300lbs and have a bf of 25% and you're not a skinny fat ass. You're relatively large for your age. You not able to keep up with those skinny guys in terms of aerobic capacity because you're fucking huge and the type of workouts you do require a fuckton of anaerobic energy. You don't have the work capacity yet and trying to build too high an aerobic base will fuck up everything up for you. Do HIIT, sprints and circuit training. Try out the PHA workout that you've been thinking about doing.

No your 8 inch dick is not small. The porn guys are all lying faggots.

Everything else? Stay the course.

Stop pretending to be a nice guy and waiting for "the one" bitches are throwing themselves at you and you're blindingly horny. Fuck everything that moves. Including your homeroom teacher and that school secretary and the tard wrangler teacher and that one gay chick. You know damned well they want the dick bruh and J has moved and is not ever coming back.

Dump that fat cunt. She's gross and you're only with her because she's easy pussy.

Your boy is going to destroy himself and he's going to drag you down with him. You can't save him from himself and fend off your own depression and body dysmorphia too.

Take up boxing and wrestling. You'll like the former and you're already pretty good at the latter.

>>41131660
>amphetamines
>won't be able to lose weight while taking them

What?

>>41124233
squat and deadlift are more important than bench.
train wrestling or judo

>>41131703

Not him but lots of people drink more while on speed. Those alcohol calories add up.

>>41131735
Sure, if you drink. Speed alone can be enough of a buzz, though, which also, as you probably know, surpresses hunger. I didn't know drinking on top was that normal.

>>41131795

I always drank a ton either if i was going out anyway or on the comedown. I'd go days without eating bug drinking 12-20 beers a day. Bad times bro.

>>41131838
Yeah, sounds rough. Basic bodily functions are quickly forgotten about on hard drugs

Stop looking at so much porn
Go to /fit/ read the sticky, start lifting
Stop caringabout what others think, stop being so shy, live your life, dont be sacred of others, dont feel inferior
Hang out with Nicki, ffs she wanted your D
Same with Emma, ffs
Get a GF
Be a man, you are being a beta to CC
Cut down own the pot, spend more time doing things you can complete and enjoy (Vidya, hobbies)
Dont give a fuck and enjoy your life
Don't be a retard and anger your family by smoking pot and getting caught a bunch of times, caused way too much stress on your pretards
Be more open, more spontaneous, make more relationships, cut the nice guy bullshit, stop being such a pussy, get laid

Learn to study before it fucks you in the ass in uni.
Quit playing Dota for 9 hours a day and go outside and talk to people you fat piece of shit.

>>41129080
>Leicester will win PL 15/16 season
Literally this and only this
You'd become a millionaire overnight even if you only bet £200 on this shit

>>41124233
Start working out seriously right now, not at 23 years. Because of you I am a DYEL right now at 24, reeeeeeeee

>>41124233
DO NOT ENROLL IN UNIVERSITY

STOP SMOKING YOU FUCKING IDIOT. START RUNNING. YOU HAVE A TALENT FOR ULTRARUNNING THAT YOU DO NOT DISCOVER UNTIL YOU ARE 30. JOIN THE FUCKING CROSSCOUNTRY TEAM AT SCHOOL. FOLLOW THEIR WORKOUTS.

>>41126433
:'^)

>>41124233
eat more protein
take in less sugar, and quit fucking drinking pop
start exercising, sit-ups like you used to do are a good start but here's a proper crunch and here's a proper squat, yeah I know squats look dumb, just do some, but be careful or you'll fuck up your knee
also I would tell myself to actually put effort in in school and start making programs again and and don't try so hard or be so autistic on-line and some other things but that's different

>>41124233
Don't believe /fit/'s lies about volume. Train at high volume to actually see gains.

>>41124233
Hey man, you're doing great. Keep working on studies and making great memories with your true friends. Just try to be more social with everyone, and be a good guy greg/chad.

Also, you're going to spout into a chad once you learn X has a crush on you, then you will reduce to nothing for a month after she breaks up with you over text. This will wreck you, but PLEASE don't lose that part of you that was getting more ALPHA. Fuck your inhibitions.

Date Y, but be more of a leader for her. Help her make more friends and develop a more healthy lifestyle. She'll be more happy and fulfilled and ultimately this will be good. Also, you make the moves in the relationship. Don't wait for her to initiate shit via text, cuddling, whatever. You need to lead the relationship. She will come back into your life over and over again if you don't try to help her now. You'll eventually get the opportunity to bang her. DO IT. You will meet some very convincing momons that will try to convince you otherwise. Listen to them about EVERYTHING except this. Because you will continue to be a virgin into college and will stat getting into trap porn. Your sexuality will be called into question, and it'll suck. Bang her, and enjoy being straight and innocent.

Also, wane off the porn for christ sake. Part of the reason you never wanted to bang Y was because you had that shit as backup. And you'll get into some fucking gay shit dude, please. Just quit while your ahead, I can't stress this enough.

When you get your eagle scout, stay involved as much as possible in the troop and run for SPL. Do it pussy, you'll probably win and you're competent enough to run it well. Also, don't be such a shy faggot and just help out anyone in need.

Skip Starting Strength, get straight on a PPL and cut first, don't bulk.

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DO GOMAD
IT WILL FUCK UP YOUR DICK SO BAD YOU HAVE TO GO TO HOSPITAL, ON LITERALLY THE FIRST DAY OF GOMAD
THANKS /FIT/

>>41133073
...how?

>>41133178
I have no idea how the biology of it works, I guess it gave me way too much of *something* and it screwed with some osmosis somewhere. What happened physically is my foreskin shrank ridiculously, crushing my penis shaft and getting stuck behind the glans.

link contains pic of penis:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphimosis
It was similar to the pic, but much more extreme, it crushed it length wise as well as girth wise, and there was skin peeling off the foreskin and bleeding.

I now have a permanent bend, and i can feel harder scar tissue inside the shaft on one side.

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>>41133279
what the actual flying fuck

>>41124233
Don't listen to your overprotective mother and go to locals for Blazblue and street fighter 4. This way you can break out of your shell by talking to people with similar interest as you.

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You're at a great weight now to look ripped. Don't go to a different town for college and start eating healthier.

fuck bitches get money

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y know i can never go back and if i did knowing what i know now id beat up so many people but anyway my tip for the new brave generation is this

fucking never get insecure, fuck the haters, focus on what you want and focus on the goals you have coz if you just drift with no focus or fuck around you wont get things done. Believe in the guy you are and you wanna be coz nobody else will do that shit for you and ultimately your success is your own responsibility. Nobody elses, just you.

And if you pussy out now tomorrow the day´s just history and you´re just left thinking man i wish i lived my life to the fullest. So what i do now is i party hard, i lift weights hard, i work hard, i produce, coz that way even if i dont get rich i can tell the modern kids you can live your dream when you fucking give it your 110%
Tell yourself that muhammed ali shit. I am the Greatest.

>>41124233
>disregard /fit/
>do starting strength, 4k cals a day no fucks given
>give him the Bible and tell him to forgo the sinful ways of the world, no pre-marital sex
>don't take creatine or youll go bald

id say dont go imagining time is medicine
mark those days and swallow your pills
dont be sad
you're almost half way there

>>41124233
Research nutrition and fitness, and stop quitting randomly throughout. If your grades haven't gotten fucked yet, work on them, it's not hard. Don't act like a piece of shit and get kicked out. Play less video games. If you end up playing a certain mmo and meet A, do NOT get involved. Also learn to drive already you faggot, it's fun, it's easy, and it's a lot better than waiting until you're 19.

>>41126196
holy shit this, and get your fucking wisdom teeth taken out early so you don't have to drop a thousand dollars for them to have to dig into your fucking jawbone since you waited too long and they grew impacted and never healed 100% properly to how your mouth was before, so now you have holes at the back of your jaw that shit gets stuck in constantly FUCKIGN REEEEE BE HYGENIC AND WORK ON YOUR SKIN MORE YOU FAGGOT FUCK

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>>41129100
Ayy.
>implying it won't make past-you double down and further doom himself.
There's no breaking from this cycle.

>>41124277
Fuck you

>>41124233
Just kill yourself now young buck.

>>41126218
Oh fuuuuuuck you, "hottest guy in my school" well u know what I wasn't, and I fucking hated school because of it. You're telling me you had all that opportunity and you ruined it you fucking pussy. I will never get to go back to high school and re-do all the shit I missed out on (yes faggot I mean the girls, which apparently wasn't enough for you) , and it destroys me inside knowing that

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>>41133279

>>41124233
stop being a depressed fat little shit

Do not gain more than 1 lb a month.

Do not ever exceed 180 lbs for any reason.

Only train 20x1, do not ever do multiple reps per set. This will maximize strength gain and minimize mass gain. You will be explosive and insanely strong at a low body weight.

>>41124233

dont expect results any time soon.

Lift to make it a habit, not to fix your doughy body overnight.

>>41124233
Eat that tight pussy desu

learn to throatpunch
kill lad that spat in your face for no reason
change your name and move country

Dieting isn't hard so try to lose weight earlier.

Choose your major in University better lmao.

>>41124233
>Fitness advice
Neck hangs xF

>Diet
Gobad (Gallon of bleach a day)

>>41124233
Start working out, clean up your diet and eat more protein. Ask a girl out if you think she likes you, you'll probably shit the bed on smalltalk but you'll be happy you did it.

girls aren't important
focus on yourself first and foremost
be the best version of yourself in all aspects of life and everything else falls into place

>>41124961
what instrument?

>>41124233
you have crohns motherfucker, get that shit fixed asap

>>41124233
Awesome. I can't wait to see what the year 2020 is like.

>>41135197

anon, who spat in your face

I would write a letter full of resources and give it to him to give to our parents and request that they scream at me until it's done.

Barring that. I'd tell him to stop eating processed foods and drinks and take up lifting and gymnastics.

its real

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>>41124233
Stop drinking bottles of mountain dew every week. This was legit a thing for 3 years.

My diet has always been fine, I don't like fast food and most shit people stuff their faces with taste gross to me.
I'd probably just tell myself to lift more from 16 to now, and to not fuck those two fatties cause the one your waiting for is only a couple months after you meet them.

>>41126523
I lift literally every day that I can

>>41131363
>You're gonna be alright pal
;_;

BITCOINS BITCOINS BITCOINS

>>41124233
Don't drink soda. Only drink water.

She will never want you.
Look in a mirror and be honest with yourself.

>>41136647
Same, I don't even care if it's not optimal. I need those endorphins

>>41124233

Get help for your depression now, son. Don'y slack off when choosing colleges. Leave her now or you never will.

>start lifting faggot
>She's gonna leave you just like she left him
>It's gonna suck
>DON'T save yourself for her
>DO get back with her and destroy her life, nothing you do will feel better than fucking her best friend and driving her to a suicide attempt
>ITS GONNA BE AWESOME

>>41135412
MODS

>>41135412
I actually got banned for this joke on /b/ like 5 years ago.

you dont kill yourself like you planned, but if it makes it easier you regret it because eventually you become a meathead whose only source of joy anymore is a temporary empty feeling of superiority over less muscular, but ostensibly happier people

>>41124233
Stop skipping your fucking days, you retard. Doing 10 reps a day is better than doing 500 reps once a month

>>41126218
b-but pking is fun! :(

>>41124929
Not bad advise really. It's assumed everyone graduates really. I graduated HS in the special ed program of high school. I'm 32 now, own my own company, own 3 houses with no mortgage, 6 figure bank account. Nobody's ever asked to see my diploma or if I have one. Hard work is all that really matters

it doesn't get better. end it now.

My 16 yo self had /fit/ so nothing really.

Talk to and make friends with girls in high school.
baby steps are better than shutting yourself off from potential pussy

>>41129427
I have a GED, guess who is making the parts for your shitty Bentley.
A 10 year old Chinese kid.

>>41124961
Are you me? Fuck starting weightlifting early or fucking girls earlier. If I could change anything at all it would be to give more attention to getting better on my sax. I want to go back to it but I know it's too late now.

>>41126218
I remember the days of runescape.
wasted years of my life on it but fuck was it fun

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>>41124233
Focus more on building muscle & lifting rather than doing pure cardio. Eat more salads they're not as bad or boring as you think. Tea becomes your best friend when craving something. Finally it's okay if you have a cheat day, don't beat yourself up because it'll make you binge again.
Also forget about the manlet that came onto you and you clung to when you were desperate, he cheats on you, gets cheated on, then comes back to drag you along for a year. But don't stop talking to him because you meet your future 10/10 Chad from him

Fucking study you stupid fuck. Stop coasting. You're smart as fuck but if you keep coasting you're gonna end up a scientist at a shitty government agency and your intellect will fucking languish because you deal with government red tape and over educated white people every day.

>>41124233
Don't stop cycling!

>>41124233
"Woah it's future me!"
>inb4 banned

work out more on different sports, focus on improving your skills

>tfw i was 16 i tore both acls
>tfw i was 17 i dislocated my right shoulder
>tfw i was 18 i re-tore both acls

>>41124552
Who makes these gifs

>study you fucking idiot
>don't drop out of high school
>don't waste your first year lifting on dumb bro splits that don't work

Apart from that, not much really, i'm only 18.

>>41124233
GO TO FUCKING SLEEP EARLIER YOU STUPID FAGGOT YOU'RE DRIVING US INSANE

>>41124447
FUCK I'm reminded even here. $26000 to fix my fucking teeth and jaw for something that would have been corrected with a pair of fucking braces. CUNTS

>>41137768
That's nothing.
I'm a head chef at Wendy on one million per year and a 9 inch dick.

"Read the sticky"

>>41124233
>Raw Vegan
>IF 18/6
>Lift heavy
>dont ride the bike on 06 July 2009!

>>41138764
>Wojak

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>>41124678
I dont know about you anon, but i have alot fun with my thick Shower.
Everybody in the gym thinks i have at least a 10 Inch massive cock, Girls smile all the time. I flirt every fucking time with at least 2-3 qts. Fucked 3 grills in 1 year Membership now.
Live is good with a shower.

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>>41127592

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>drop the vidya
>eat more
>lift
>cut your hair or fix it
>go out more
>take risks, fuck it
>study abroad
>stick with learning music

All these would fix most of my life's problems.

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>>41124233
Powerlifting is an autistic endeavour. Stop eating so much to get strong, you'll get fat too quickly. The rest would just be life advice and how at Uni there are way hotter girls so stop caring what the girls in highschool think and be yourself.

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I'd tell him keep going bud, never give up - you're gonna make it

>>41138026
London or homo? We are on /fit/, I have to ask.

>>41128293
Fuck, this. Pretty much lost 4 years of my life to that. Glad I am out of that hole now

Liz is going to change, and you are too. Things will not work out with her no matter how hard you try. You're only going to end up getting hurt more and more in a yo-yo relationship if you dont just cut it off right now. There are much better things out there for you, you're going to have to be patient and work hard to get it but yo will get there.

>>41126218
The only reason I don't regret playing that game is because my English is so much better thanks to it.

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>>41126464
>move your computer to the living room

why?

>>41139769
london

>>41125003
see it as training. it will be cringey, it will be annoying, and it wont be fun. you most probably wont reach anything in these last few month, but every bit gives you a jumpstart in college, because the start is the most important thing, so if you start at zero in college it will put you back hard.
same mindset for starting to hit on girls, same struggle there for me rn, but i learned that you need to give it time and consistency, then social gains will come.

>>41135386

Clarinet..

>>41137868

Yeah man, if I started really ironing out fundamentals earlier instead of learning lots of solo pieces for recitals and concerto competitions I would've been vaporizing people by the time I started taking professional auditions.

>>41124233
DON"T GO TO MED UNI
GO FOR THE IT DEGREE by all means

>>41141685
You can't fap to gay furry anal prolapse snuff with hats on in the living room.

>>41125115
you can always try to change, if he goes with a bit of social training into college there are chances to get some ground. for example, a start would be becoming friends with some other spergs or something, and thats not really difficult

Go to the gym and start weightlifting NOW

get used to feeling selfish after a blowjob, or get used to a kid for 18 years

>>41141685

no privacy.
can't waste all your free on the computer playing games, masturbating and being anti-social

>>41124233
"Quit drinking soda and eating pretzels faggot"

>>41124233
I would just beat the hell out of myself. I wouldn't have listened to any advice. Do Starting Strength and eat so much more protein would be the advice though.

>>41124233
>fitness
Man, just lift some weights, you'll feel better about yourself, maybe you'll feel confident enough to ask out heather.
>diet
Whatever, I could eat anything back then and be fine. I was struggling to gain any weight.

>>41124233
i like myself, so i m going to do "things"

File: kill yourself.jpg (169KB, 789x789px) Image search: [Google]

169KB, 789x789px

>>41137768
>advise
lmao @ this dude telling people to not care about hs. If you misspell things in the business world people will automatically assume you're a dumbass

>>41124233
i'd probably just beat the shit out of me to be honest, i mean who the hell do i think i am. If i think i'm putting up with any of my shit i must be crazy