>be socially retarded >no friends >/fit/ has given me

Night clubs are not a good place to socialise.
Get a job and make friends there.

>>41072040
Your first steps towards making social gains are acquiring friends,man.
Fuck clubs,they're shit,crowded and only brainless douches&sluts go there anyway.Plus you can't talk for shit,they're a no-no

Find some hobbies that aren't lifting,like climbing for example.This will get you to meet new people,you can show off your gains and even make some.
Or anything else really,chess club,book club,any team sports
It's not that hard,friend,don't sweat it

just go to a bar dumbass. night clubs are for chads.

>>41072040
>am i supposed to wait in these lines by myself (no friends)?
Should probably try to find some friends. Even if the bouncer doesn't care if you're a loner there's a good chance girls will.
>assuming i do get in, what do i even say to girls?
Just start dancing with girls and if you're attractive enough you should be able to escalate things.
>what if they are in groups, with girls or guys?
If they're with girls it doesn't really matter much. Sometimes they may try to stay with their group and end up cockblocking you but if this happens just find a different girl and try again. If they're with guys don't bother, might end up starting a fight.
>how do i speak louder and hear other people better?
This should be obvious.

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>>41072072
i have a job
everyone there thinks I'm autistic

>see co-workers who are good friends with each other
>i don't know that feel

>>41072077
thanks
ive been looking at sources online to combat social anxiety, one suggested approaching people and talking to them. thought clubs would be good since there's more people there, and they should be more receptive to getting approached

>>41072040
Where do you live OP?
If you are in a big city and want to go to 'cool' clubs you won't be let in unless you are semi famous or have a bunch of girls with you

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>>41072128
i thought clubs would be better since there are more people, and if a grill asks where my friends are (i don't know if they would, but they might wonder why I'm alone), i can say they are at another party of the club
harder to say that at a bar

>>41072134
thanks, i don't know how to make friends
part of the reason i want to go to clubs is to improve my social skills with people i won't see again and who won't remember me

Start volunteering

Library, town events, church if your religious.

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>>41072181
I'm outside of Toronto, how do i find out which won't let me in? some reviews online are of people saying they weren't let in

>>41072224
hard to find something that fits my work schedule tbqh. and that doesn't require references (i have no friends, and would feel weird asking coworkers i don't know that well)

Check out rsd to help with your social development

>>41072330
I've been watching Shift from julien, and he says to visit clubs

one problem is he doesn't give a lot of advice in what to say. other than to just get experiences by talking to girls and recalibrating

>>41072300
Just go to general admission clubs, girls there aren't as attractive tho.
The harder to get into the club the more beautiful girls and high-level men you'll find

>>41072300
Just like in all things practice is what you need. Resign yourself that the first couple attempts will not result in much. It takes time to find a person whose interests match yours. Also be ready to ask lots of questions, people love to talk about themselves and will remember you fondly for asking

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>>41072658
general admission, as in no cover?

>>41072709
are nightclubs good places to practice? a lot of posts in this thread are against them. where else can i go

>asking questions
i can do this. but how do i keep a girl interested in answering my questions?

how do i make a girl laugh, and what do i do when i don't have stories of my own to tell

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>>41072128
go to bars by myself and do what?

sit at the bar, then wait for a girl to sit at the bar too, hope she's alone and then get up from my seat and go and talk to her? do people actually do this?

>>41072040
If you have social anxiety loud clubs and parties are the last place you wanna go.
I'm only saying that from my experience because I can't handle large groups or parties. It just feels too suffocating.

Do drugs
>coke
>mdma
go to club and dance like a mdfaka and hope that a girl dances with you and fuck her. Easy.

Never go to a nightclub stag, people go there to dance and drink with their friends not to meet new people. If you want to pick up chicks youll need to go with at least a wingman

youre better off going to raves, they are much more inclusive and the people are less inhibited and willing to talk to strangers

>>41072040
>paying for entry to a place where you'll pay more money for drinks
explain to me how this isn't a scheme by (((them)))

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>>41073017
i want to reduce my social anxiety through exposure therapy, which is why i want to go to clubs

>>41073040
not concerned with getting girls
i don't do drugs and i don't know how to dance

>>41073043
i don't have a wingman, but some girls do go home with guys they meet at clubs
it does seem like most people go with their friends to clubs

>>41073067
people don't buy enough drinks, cover is a fixed determinable income stream

>>41072040
Serious question-

Has anyone ever picked up a stranger at a club?
The only time I ever went home with a girl from a club/bar was when I can there with a group of friends.
Girls seems to stay away from strangers in these places.

>>41073162
>not concerned getting girls
then whats the issue? every girl is atleast somewhat drunk and prob in drugs too
When you do drugs you know how to dance

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>>41073178
>then whats the issue?
i mean, i am concerned with getting girls as i'm a virgin
but my main concern right now is getting rid of my social anxiety, because i think that's more important

>going to a club alone
unless you are charismatic as fuck, you'll probably spend most of the night without anyone to talk to. go in a group.

if you're american, good luck. american clubs are trash. if you're in somewhere without a terrible club culture (UK, Amsterdam, Berlin etc) then you'll do much much better. i honestly can't express how shit american nightclubs are.

>>41073162
A girl is much more likely to hook up with a friend of a friend than a total stranger. Ive only ever actually fucked one girl from a club and she was a fat drunk latina, so if you do manage to pull it wont be a pretty girl. Ive been raving and clubbing for 4 years, ive had tons of pretty girls dance on my dick and make out with me but taking them home is a totally different story. Girls wont fuck complete strangers unless they are ubermensch chad. if youre just trying to get pussy go fuck a hooker and make friends. A guy with no friends is a probably the #1 red flag for girls

Molly Molly Molly Molly

>>41072040
If you have decent hand eye coordination and aren't TOO old you could try ballroom dancing
it's pretty fun and a decent way to meet decent girls desu.
As long as you're not too autistic or overbearing you should do very very well there.

>>41073207
How old are you?
I think social anxiety goes away within age, atleast with me it did, getting rid of your virginity is also gonna boost your ego so you wont feel like a loser.
Get wasted and fuck wasted hoes until youre somewhat normal

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>>41073217
>go in a group.
i have zero friends though

>>41073222
i'm not trying to hook up with a girl, trying to gain social skills in an environment where women are supposed to be more open, and where if i screw up, they will forget about it (as opposed to trying to talk to coworkers and making them instantly realize i'm autismo)

h-how do i get friends?

>>41073239
i've looked at dancing classes in my area (i live in the suburbs), the pictures have a lot of older people (40 and over).

though i was thinking of trying a dancing class at the local college, but maybe that would make me seem more like a creep

>>41073162
shock therapy or flooding doesn't work most of the time for social anxiety or social phobia. If you think it is really that bad then go see a therapist to work through it with them.

>>41073282
Why don't you have any friends?

>>41073282
>i have zero friends though
honestly, there are better places to go than clubs to meet girls and people in general without any mates. bars are better because its more socially acceptable to go to them alone. alcohol will still be flowing so everyone will be nice and loose.

how come you have no friends?

you don't have friends because you are unsufferable to be around.


read how to win friends and influence people and use it as your bible for a year.

go from zero friends to dozens, no problem. it's filled with simple practical advice you can use in your day to day interaction with strangers to appear friendly, more approachable, more interesting, kind, understanding, likeable, a good leader, dependable. and it's very little work on your end, since it exploits every person's innate weaknesses.

read the book it's short and should be mandatory reading for every 4channer.

I don't know what clubs are like where you're from, but I made loads of social gains by going to this underground rave club in my town and doing some xtc. I initially always went alone but by now I've developed a decent size social circle and lost my virginity.

You need a good club though, if you go to clubs like you see in the movies (are most nightclubs really like that?), it probably wont work.

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>>41073305
>>41073328
i don't have friends because i'm socially awkward

only had a couple of friends growing up, but they've found other friends

how do i approach people at bars? the girls there are more likely to be with their friends

i posted this >>41072941
every time i've been to a bar, girls are with her girl or guy friends. usually at a table, rarely at the bar itself

>>41073375
>>41073375
>it's filled with simple practical advice you can use in your day to day interaction with strangers
i usually don't talk to strangers on a day to day basis

i've read the book too

Don't go to a club. I often go to clubs in a big group and we just tend to stick together. Ppl in clubs can be quite protective of each other. Random/unknown guys who start trying to dance with our girl mates will be pushed out by the guys in the group. This isn't any personal really but there are so many fucking creeps out there you never know.
The only real opportunity to talk to people is if there is a smoking area. You can ask a girl if she has a lighter/cig and try to talk to her I guess but it's much easier just to go to bars really.
But as soon as they find out you just came on your own it's game over really.

Better to find a hobby or take some classes or something e.g. language learning groups (we call them language cafes here).

>>41073402
How old are you?

>>41073402
>i've read the book too

then you need clinical help obviously, the book is written so a child could follow through with it, you didn't apply any of the advice in your own life because of a problem that requires a professional to sort out. probably childhood rape suppressed.

>>41073402
are you asking us how to talk to people?

i don't think talking to random folk at a bar is going to solve any of your problems. you obviously have some deeper problems than a simple lack of friends. you can't expct anyone to find you interesting enough to take time out of their night away from their friends to spend the night with you unless they are a girl and they fancy you. desu, i don't go to bars to talk to random people, though if someone strikes up a bit of drunken banter with me i'll roll with it.

Nightclubs are a colossal waste of time and money. Don't go to them.

>>41073466

If you have very little social interaction to begin with, saying people's names every time you talk to them isn't gonna magically make you friends dude
Honestly the book is about becoming more likeable when you already have a large social circle, not about creating one.

>>41073395
what city?

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>>41073438
what about approaching girls who are in girl only groups?

language learning does seem interesting

>>41073449
30

>>41073540

Mid sized town in the Netherlands. I have a feeling US night clubs are very different though (assuming most ppl here are american)

>>41073566
>30
You shouldn't really be hitting night clubs then, especially not alone.
What did you do in your youth?

>>41072177

>everyone there thinks I'm autistic

>see co-workers who are good friends with each other

Because you need to actually talk to them, or be good enough looking/mysterious that they make the first move.

>>41073207
>but my main concern right now is getting rid of my social anxiety, because i think that's more important
As it should be, being in/around group situations is how most normies/not-10/10 chads get girls. You need social capital/trust before girls will take interest in you. Being friendless is a red-flag that you have something wrong with you, even if you don't.

>>41073162
>i want to reduce my social anxiety through exposure therapy, which is why i want to go to clubs

Get non-lifting hobbies instead and find meet-ups/places for them. If you want an even easier time (assuming you're under 30), take some hobby-like classes at a community college (art, ceramics, etc.). There's also private classes for stuff like art, rock-climbing, mma/sparring, etc. which you can try too.

>>41073282

It sounds like you overthink too much and lack enough exposure to pop-culture/other interests (sports, the arts, music, etc.) to have stuff to talk about with people. If you want friends and to get out of your shell, find stuff that YOU like and can be passionate about, besides lifting (nobody cares IRL what your bench is, just that you look good).

It doesn't have to be grand, or particularly unique. If you love Big Bang Theory and Always Sunny, then there's plenty of people who are also boring/normie enough to talk to about that.

Also, fuck clubs.
>parties/group hangouts with friends > classes > bars > clubs
In order of what's most fun/easiest to meet people/grills at.

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>>41073566
Jesus Christ. 30

>>41073582
30 isn't too old to go to a nightclub, it's the alone bit that's a problem. And well it depends on the club of course. If it's a techno club in a big city that attracts reputable DJs then you can be in your 50s and 60s and no one will give a shit.

But if it's a club that is frequented by uni students at the weekend and plays solely chart music then yeah don't do that.

>>41073566

Not that guy but when I end up hanging out with a random girl in a club its because we struck up conversation when she was alone or maybe with 1 other girlfriend. Smoking is great for this or if you're in line for the bathroom or waiting to be served at the bar. Just start talking to her and she'll let you know soon enough whether she cares to continue talking to you. If she doesn't, you try again next time you go out to smoke.

>>41073566
Why the fuck are you changing so late in life?
It would be MUCH easier if you had pulled your finger out of your ass in your early twenties instead

>>41073395

This guy again. People are right when they say most people will consider you being alone a red flag. Sometimes people are impressed by it though because most people wouldnt dare to do shit like that on their own. One thing that I've often successfully used to counter this is to say I was going to go together with a female friend but she bailed at the last moment. (has to be an event with tickets though, to explain why you still went yourself). Most girls will be comforted by the idea that you have female friends, it really helps to get the idea of 'creepy loner' out of their heads.

Someone take me under their wing and teach me the bantz pls

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>>41073658

different anon, but rock bottom confidence was it for me. Socially awkward since childhood. Would look at how effortless extroverts socialized and got it set in my mind it was just an inherent thing you were born with. Awkward and disand was inherently what I was fated to be.

Think they call it a static mindset vs a growth mindset. Whether or not you have faith that you can change. Trying to change cause while I've been somewhat content in isolation it really feels like something in my mind is atrophying. Need some outside stimulation from other people instead of running circles in my own head.

>>41072394
You have to set your frame right that you go to night clubs to have fun not that you are a loser.

>approachin 32
>no friends
>just started lifting
>utter introvert and socially awkward
>still virgin with near-zero female attraction
>tfw this thread and I'm older

suicide really does sound like a good solution right about now.

>>41074042
Just get a dog and buy hookers

>>41074084
>buy hookers
you mean rent.
I think in my current state, after all this time, having short awkward sex with a complete stranger who really wants nothing to do with me, would be completely underwhelming and convince me not even sex is worth it.

>>41074129
Sex is overrated man.
Yes it's more satisfying fucking a girl you love, but in the end I can just whack my dick and end up with the same satisfaction.
Gains is where the real satisfaction lies.

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>>41073582
stayed in my room alone
played games mostly

>>41073591
thanks for the advice

>>41073658
>>41073658
i've tried
in university i joined clubs. i still didn't know how to talk to people though

>>41074150
I really don't feel like living anymore.

>>41074259
Either kill yourself or don't complain about it. The choice is totally yours, and if you choose to not kill yourself then your existence is demonstrating that you prefer life over death. If you prefer life over death then do not complain about life when the only alternative is death.

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>>41072941
>go to bars by myself and do what?
drink until you cant anymore

>>41074346
>If you prefer life over death then do not complain about life
What? If you love something but find it flawed, you can't complain about it? Why shouldn't he try to fix his life instead?

>>41072826
>are nightclubs good places to practice? a lot of posts in this thread are against them.

do you even know what clubs are about?
>ultra loud music blasting from giant speakers, talking to people is nearly impossible
>pretty much all the people are drunk, some will be high on stimulants like mdma
>only reason chicks go to clubs is to get showered with attention from legions of horny dudes who hit on them non stop
>only reason dudes go to clubs is to hit on chicks, trying to take one home and fuck

if you are a social autist, a nightclub is going to be the least enjoyable experience you could find on the planet. you would unironically feel better on some godforsaken battlefield in the syrian desert than you would in a nightclub.

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>go to nightclub
>music is too loud, can't talk to girls unless you're yelling really loudly
>bartenders ignore you
>can't dance so you're just copying whatever the other guys you see doing

Bars are better. Quieter, bartenders make good chat if it's slow, and they're open right after you're done work.

>>41074397
>>41074415

Take some xtc and try enjoying something for once in your life instead of literally being the "my feet hurt" meme

>>41074346
>don't vent in an anonymous space
>life or death idc u can choose, just don't complain

What kind of black and white world do you live in; that everyone either kills themselves, loves their life, or is a perfect stoic?

>>41074393
He should absolutely try to improve his life. I never said he shouldn't. Complaining improves nothing. It's a useless emotional exercise. If your life can be improved, then improve it, don't complain. If your life can't be improved, and it is less desirable than death, then just kill yourself.

>>41074462
It is objectively black and white in that everyone who is alive and has agency chooses to live because they value living more than they value death. Anyone who kills themselves values death more than they value life.

>>41074464
>. I never said he shouldn't
>Either kill yourself or don't complain about it
>do not complain about life when the only alternative is death
So either he should kill himself because there's no alternative, or prove that he loves his life? What are you on about? Are you even old enough to drink? What kind of simplistic perspective is that?

>>41074522
The only alternative to living is to be dead, yes, not an especially controversial assertion. I never stated he shouldn't improve his state of living, and I've already added that he should in fact improve his state of living.

I'm sorry OP, but the train has departed.
You missed out on life and have to make due with your current existence.
Regret is a bad emotion.

>>41074551
>You missed out on life

nah. he only missed out on normie life. there's still plenty of shit he can do to leave a mark on the world.
>go fight in a war
>plan and execute a political assassination of some kind
>cook up drugs in your basement

life has a lot more to offer than being a wagecuck and trying to get with normie sluts

>>41074486
First of all, we don't have complete agency over ourselves. This way of thinking is some hoodoo actualization bullshit. We have as much agency over ourselves as we have executive function, for one. And a depressed person on the verge of suicide will likely have reduced executive function as a symptom of depression. Does that mean they value life less, even though they aren't in their right mind? I don't know if your way of looking at this accounts for questions like that.

So I'm gonna rephrase and say that your philosophy seems too reductionist to explain how abstract concepts like life and death weigh in a person's mind. Especially when being dead is unfathomable by design. And to go on, they exist as opposites in your line of thought. One exists in contrast to another. You are either alive, or dead. So can you fathom, without knowing what death is, what being alive even means? We have probably wondered this ever since we've had a concept of self, and you're telling anon that it's one or the other so he better just man up and choose.

It sounds to me more like something you've come up with to cope with suicidal thoughts, and are now projecting it onto another person's problems. I don't know how helpful that is.

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>>41074397
but are they good places to practice social skills? i'm still watching Shift, by one of the RSD guys, and he explains why clubs are the best places to talk to girls and improve "game". that day game is harder because girls are busy, but they are more approachable at clubs

>>41074415
see >>41072941
how do i talk to people at bars? wait until they sit next to me? wait until someone sits at the bar (if ever) and then approach them?

>>41074754
>go fight in a war
30 is a bit old to join the army, don't you think?
But he could become Walter White yeah

>>41075054
Many bars are crowded areas witj smoking areas and shit, just get drunk and chat people up

>>41075054
>are they good places to practice social skills?
talk to coworkers during break time


>i'm still watching Shift, by one of the RSD guys, and he explains why clubs are the best places to talk to girls and improve "game"
PUA shit and "game" is very specific. that's not how you learn general social skills, and if you are an antisocial autist in the first place then you will have a hard time applying pua game in the first place.

The fuck, everyone saying clubs aren't good for talking to girls are full of shit.

People go there to have fun, girls are actually trying to get laid and they're not afraid to get touchy.

It would be 5 times better with a buddy to go with though, if you're at a uni it'd be easy, if you just work full time and you aren't close to your coworkers you're fucked. I don't know what to tell you in that case. I got lucky with my coworkers

>>41075089
im not talking about joining the army. military of most nations does nothing but sit in base and do an occasional exercise.
im talking about fighting for some kind of militia or parastate. in the 90s there were the yugoslav wars where foreign volunteers could fight, right now there is the syrian civil war where foreign volunteers can fight.

>>41075210
He's 30.
Going alone to a night club as a 30 years old antisocial guy is a bad idea.

>>41073582
>30
ok bruh this is your last harah. You are not too old. But your window is like 5 more years.

I'm rooting for you bruh. Your gonna make it.

Join Crossfit, good way to meet people

>>41072040
What city do you live in? I work with some EDM clubs in LA, I'll take you, free entry and we skip the line. /fit/izen to /fit/izen

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>>41075104
i can try visiting a bar near me. though every one i look at offers food, like a restaurant + bar.

is it bad to be a guy who goes to a bar alone? at least with a club, i can say my friends are elsewhere in the club

>>41075178
coworkers already know i'm autistic though

>>41075271
thanks

>>41075280
suburbs of Toronto

>>41075338
>coworkers already know i'm autistic though

unless you did something retarded (shit your pants tier retarded) they dont. autists like us tend to massively overthink shit - chances are they barely know you at all and just see you as a somewhat quiet dude. thats it.

>>41075048
>First of all, we don't have complete agency over ourselves. This way of thinking is some hoodoo actualization bullshit. We have as much agency over ourselves as we have executive function, for one. And a depressed person on the verge of suicide will likely have reduced executive function as a symptom of depression. Does that mean they value life less, even though they aren't in their right mind? I don't know if your way of looking at this accounts for questions like that.

I agree, agency is not a constant and I think I expressed that in my post. I defined the set of people to whom I was referring as having agency, in this case evidently regarding the ability to make value judgements, which is the norm. A depressed person may easily apply different values to aspects of their life than a non-depressed person would, but ultimately their suicide is a value judgement in the way I described.

>So I'm gonna rephrase and say that your philosophy seems too reductionist to explain how abstract concepts like life and death weigh in a person's mind. Especially when being dead is unfathomable by design. And to go on, they exist as opposites in your line of thought. One exists in contrast to another. You are either alive, or dead. So can you fathom, without knowing what death is, what being alive even means? We have probably wondered this ever since we've had a concept of self, and you're telling anon that it's one or the other so he better just man up and choose.

Being dead is not unfathomable. There are many ways to conceive of or analogize non-existence. Your description is correct only insofar as we will never experience death, by definition. Never being able to experience death does not mean we cannot experience life, so I'm not sure your argument makes sense here. People can try to describe life with various definitions and scopes, but that does not speak in any way to the fact that it is a binary opposite of death, which is ultimately non-existence.

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>>41075369
i think they do think of me as a quiet dude, but also not interesting

i can see coworkers being close friends with each other, like asking each other out to coffee and to grab lunch

some people asked me out for lunch when i started, but since then, nothing, after they realize i don't say anything and i'm boring

>>41075413
Are you good looking?
What kind of work do you do?
Could be easy to solve your problems

>>41075413
you could try gettign a job at a different place maybe

>>41072574
Eww

>>41072040

Nightclubs are retarded. Unless you are a genuine 9 or 10, they're traps.

If you're below that, the best strategy is to smuggle some cocaine and find some slut who wants some.

Find a hobby and find a more sociable guy friend who can actually show you places and shit and in the process, maybe even find a girl.

But don't go to a fucking nightclub. If you have cocaine, give it two women so they'll give you a blowjob sandwich. Other than that, don't try.

>>41075488

ethylphenidate is also an acceptable substance. Like cocaine but it lasts for two-three hours and fucks your nose up if you constantly readminister.

>>41075413
Dont you have any interests? You need to become passionate about something, have something to talk about. Film, art, literature, politics, travel, whatever.

For general conversion it would be helpful to know about sport and politics/current affairs, even if you're not actually interested in that. Gotta fake it to make it, everyone is doing that to some extent.

Do you go to the gym? Go to spinning/yoga/boxing classes or anything else that might be available. Go to the gym at the same time every day and get to know the regulars.

Toronto is a big city there must be loads of stuff on meetup.com. Consider some dancing classes like salsa (seriously. and no, you won't be the most awkward person there).

>>41072658

This.

If the line to get in is that long, that means they have someone (a "bouncer") whose job it is to hand-pick who gets in, i.e. groups of hot chicks, and guys who bring hot chicks with them. And MAYBE a few single guys if they are top-tier looks and dress.

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>>41075431
>Are you good looking?
no
>What kind of work do you do?
i work at an accounting company. i work with a lot of good looking "normies"

>>41075437
i could
it sucks that i am not able to make friends at my current job, there are a lot of younger people who work here

other smaller companies will have a lot less people near my age, and might be harder to make closer friends

>>41075516
thanks for the advice

>Film
i watch films, but it's hard to talk about it, since my coworkers really only watch blockbusters

>sport and politics
i think i'm going to start watching sports, the toronto basketball and hockey teams made it to the playoffs

>go to the gym?
i work out at home
yoga classes seem expensive, i was going to do them at home

i think i will join a dance class too, if i find one that fits my schedule

>>41075338
So talk to them anyways. Trying to put together where their prejudices towards you lie will help you learn how to read people in general.

>>41075615
Also whilst going to a club alone is a horrible idea unless you're a 10/10, don't be put off by going to a gig alone. I'm talking smaller gigs of maybe 200-300 ppl max because then you instantly have something to chat to people about (but you have to be passionate about a certain genre of music I guess).
Or for example open-mic bars can also be a great way to meet people if you're into that kind of thing.

>>41072300
>>41072040
Meetup .com
Find a hobby that interests you and talk to people once you meet irl
I'm from Toronto btw, I'm in "paddle 20-seat war canoes from downtown to toronto islands" group
Best place to meet strangers, and maybe even make couple of friends

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>>41076215
>>41076215
thanks

the group you mentioned actually looks interesting.

Help the police find this fat cunt ASIA JARVIS and the kids she's threatening to shoot:
http://www.missingkids.org/poster/AMBER/12206/9927/screen

Last known address, license plate or VIN number for her black Jeep Patriot, anything you can dig up would be great. Give it to the police of Portsmouth, VA. Do something worthwhile with your lives instead of posting shitting memes and whining about being socially retarded.

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>>41075783
thanks

just be yourself

>>41074150
Yeah, nothing beats the 'real thing'

>>41077047
Why are Japanese girls with big breasts so godly?

>>41079404
its the bob cut

>>41079385
If you think jerking off is better, or as good as the the real thing, then I feel sorry for you.

omfg its this autist again
just end it

>>41072072
This. Nightclubs are for going to with a group of friends, not for meeting random people. Talk to coworkers more, take up activities like evening clubs etc to try and expand your social circle. Make sure to avoid unhelpful behaviour. If you find yourself thinking 'maybe I'll just stay in tonight', remind yourself that that isn't going to help you in the long run.

>>41072300
MISSISSAUGA

>>41074415
>bartenders ignore you
i know that feel. how do i get bartenders to serve me, if i'm not that handsome?

>>41080403
Tip them.

>>41080537
i do. but how are they supposed to know if they don't serve me to start with?

>>41080403
Just whistle at them and wave them over

>>41075783
>Thread about social failures
>Hey anon you should go to an open mic night!

>>41080894
That's not even as bad as the people advising the self-proclaimed autist with social anxiety to take ecstasy or cocaine alone in an unfamiliar crowded party. Druggies sure are incapable of using common sense.

>>41080946
Mdma and cocaine removes social anxiety, what's the problem?

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>>41080954
>Taking drugs
>For the very first time
>Alone
>Surrounded by unfamiliar people you cannot trust who don't know you've taken drugs
>what's the problem
Do you really need me to draw you a picture?

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Picking up girls at the club is pretty easy. Just talk to her and give her compliments and tell her that she's cute. Because girls love when men give them compliments and then she will dance with you.

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>>41074042
>>41073566
This is my biggest fear, I'm 20 and have no social skills or friends. I don't want to become like you.

>>41073040
First real advice in this thread.

>>41074042
Get dog. Walk dog. Talk to any cute chicks on the way

>>41074259
Change your life. Just cut.

>>41072040
get a job

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>>41081141
>I don't want to become like you
If you were my younger self, this is the advice I'd give you - heed this advice to avoid my fate:

1. Overcome your fears as soon as possible, exposure or flooding feels horrible but it's the only real solution. If you fear intimacy, seek intimacy with women; if you fear rejection, get rejected as much as possible; etc..
2. Deliberately seek out new human connections, especially with women, and actively work at becoming better and more comfortable at creating and maintaining these connections while you're still young.
3. You will have more opportunities messing up and approaching and being approached by others during the next decade - don't wait up for when you're too old and embarrassed to do anything, do it now while you still can, while it's still socially acceptable, while the activities and life experiences and mentally open individuals are available to you.

I know you won't take my advice because you think I'm fucking with you, or because you think you know better or you think I'm just some idiot on the other end of the line pretending to be something I'm not; but this is genuinely exactly the advice I would give my younger self, and I would fucking grab the fucking idiot by the neck and shake him back and forth while screaming this shit in his ear until he's internalized it, I would go as far as to shock him by telling him how I feel and what it's like being who I am 10 years later, that alone would drive him to go out to the street and start hitting on random women immediately. So take my advice and act accordingly, Anon, I don't know your situation but this is general enough for anyone to follow and accomodate.

Also, you know that girl that wants you, and you're too scared / think you're better than that / think you'll do something about her later? Give her a call and set a date, like right fucking now. It will pay off in the future.

>>41080894
I wasn't suggesting he performs for fuck's sake. Can't believe I needed to clarify that.

They're a good way to meet like-minded people.

>>41081251
listen to this guy, it sounds like he knows his shit.
getting out of your comfort zone is the key.

>>41081235
i have a job

>talk to qt at work
>I'm not embarassed at all
>even manage to make her laugh without trying
>no spaghetti was spilled at all
I don't know if I should ask her out., though. When she says no she will tell every other qt at work and my chances with any of them will be zero.

>>41081499
>I don't know if I should ask her out
>qt at work
>at work

NO.

The answer you are looking for is, was, and always will be NO. You do NOT shit where you eat.

>>41081645
But can I go drinking with them? They might introduce me to their girlfriends, right?

>>41081645
What? Loads of people meet their future wife/husband at work. If you're an adult and not a creepy weirdo stalker type person then it's also not awkward if it doesn't work out.

>>41081655
>But can I go drinking with them?
Technically? Yes. My advice? No. Don't mix work/office with your personal life, it's just too risky and ill-advised. But of course, if you think >>41081668 is right and there's nothing to fear, go ahead and start dating your colleagues, surely nothing bad can go wrong. Go and be confident, and remember, it's not sexual harassment until HR get involved. Good luck!

>>41072300
Bloor and Lansdowne here man.

>>41081645
THIS. Don't go for people you work with. You're not gonna be the next Jim and Pam.

>>41081690
I feel sorry for you if you think asking a colleague for a coffee after work is sexual harassment. Ridiculous, grow up.

>>41072040
you need to respect yourself before others can respect you. Where´s your spine boy?

>>41081645
Make friends with her, maybe even hang out outside of work and let her wing woman for.
>>41081645
This anon is dead right. Never fuck around with coworkers

>>41081726
>I feel sorry for you if you think asking a colleague for a coffee after work is sexual harassment
I don't. Not every girl thinks the same, though.
>Ridiculous, grow up.
I'm likely a decade older than you and have seen close friends get into trouble at work simply for asking someone out. Get fucked and stop giving bad advice, just because you're a well-balanced, reasonable human being doesn't mean everyone else is and that this person won't find himself at the wrong end of a formal complaint at work.

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>>41081690
>>41081690
OP here
many of my coworkers are actually friends outside of work too. some even date and eventually marry their coworkers.

i wish i could be friends with my coworkers, but i'm autistic

>>41081730
i'm a friendless loser with no social skills, no interests and is fairly unattractive
there isn't a lot to respect tbqh

whereas my coworkers have active social lives, can lead conversations and some even have hobbies outside of work

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>>41072040
Your problem is that you care about people instead of things you might enjoy.
Like skydiving, long range precision shooting or knitting. You usually meet people there which have much more in common with you than random idiots at a night club. You just have to realize that nobody would go to night clubs if it wasn't fro their friends.
Also how did they know what chevron to use when star constellations changed over thousands of years?

>>41072040
Why the fuck would you go to a nightclub for social gains? Go join some kind of group, like a sports club or a volunteer group. Or maybe just pick up a hobby and meet people that way.

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>>41081804
skydiving and shooting are both expensive, and i have no one to show me how to do either

I've been to a gun range, but how do you make friends with people there when all you do is shot at the targets? it's not a social activity unless you have friends in the first place

>>41081804
>>41081825
the primary reason why i want to go to a club is that they are supposed to be good places to practice in difficult environments.
and it's better to try and fail with people you won't see again, than asking out girls, or talking to people you see elsewhere and you only have one chance with (like hobby groups).

>>41082014
>skydiving and shooting are both expensive
Not when you are in the army. Just examples.

>>41072040
You have to make friends first elsewhere. Get a job, do volunteer work, join a sports team, etc. Socialising will be hard at first but with practice you'll get the hang of it. Also, observe how normies and, if you can find one, Chads socialise/do it and emulate their behaviour. That may sound psychopathic but it worked for me; fake it till you make brah

>>41081702
Roncesvalles here - Lansdowne titty bars are nice

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>>41082224
i want to make friends, that's why i want to go to a club, for social gains

i have a job, but I still don't have social skills

>>41072040
Become a drug dealer and see how many bitches (pretend to) want your cock for that dere coke

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where else should i go to practice social skills?

seems like with hobbies i really only have one chance to make a good impression. which is why i would like to practice at places like nightclubs, where i will have multiple opportunities to talk to people

>>41082014
Nightclub social gains are not applicable in daily life social situations. Just meet people in a normal daily environment.

As an ex-autistic introvert, here is a very valuable tip: Be honest. Oftentimes in real life, there are minor miscommunications that can lead to you doing something awkward or weird. Don't be afraid or ashamed of your misunderstanding, instead be frank about it and laugh it off.

>>41082384
Sport club. It's the best you can do.

>>41082274
You won't find friends in a club.

>>41082384
>seems like with hobbies i really only have one chance to make a good impression
No you don't idiot. You have literally everyday to make a good impression.

>>41072177
>i have a job
>everyone there thinks I'm autistic
your coworkers will probably be happy if you open up to them.
It will improve your job security, too, if you're not "that odd guy who talks to nobody" anymore.
plus you've got a captive audience who's desperate for distraction at work.

Just in case you have hyperautism and 4chanitis: "hitler did nothing wrong" and jewish world conspiracies are not good conversation starters

>>41072040
go to a fuckin' bar instead.

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>>41082518
i can, but aren't they the same?
people are there with groups usually, do i wait for someone who looks alone to sit next to me at the bar >>41072941

>>41082512
some people have asked me about myself before, but i'm boring. why talk to the guy who sits at home, vs the guy who goes out with friends and has funny stories to tell

>>41082407
>everyday to make a good impression
maybe you're right

>>41082394
>normal daily environment
the only people i see are coworkers

>>41082397
i'm not very good at team sports tbqh

>>41082747
>i'm not very good at team sports tbqh
You don't need to.

I'll second what people said, you go to a club with friends and girls, but it's not a good place to meet strangers

>>41082747
Make your daily life more interesting. Go find something interesting to do. For example, join a volunteer group. Go hiking. Go biking. Walk around until you find something cool to do. You will meet new people and connect to them through the hobby. With time, you will have something interesting to talk about with your coworkers. Alternatively, next time your coworkers talk about doing something cool, see if you can join them.

>be introvert for all of highschool
>never speak to girls etc
>after 5 years of putting myself out there, making a fool of myself and losing/making friends i can easily act outgoing/extroverted.

It takes fucking time and you will embarrass yourself but it will build you character. Stop hiding in your bedroom and try socializing until you level it up to above average skill cap!

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>>41082790
>join a volunteer group.
i've looked for a volunteer group, every place requires references or doesn't fit my schedule
>hiking
i've tried that, i need to drive 1-2 hrs for a 1-2 hour walk in the woods, not worth it tbqh

>Walk around until you find something cool to do.
i live in the suburbs right now, and there really isn't much to do
if i go into the city, do you mean tourist attractions?

>With time, you will have something interesting to talk about with your coworkers. Alternatively, next time your coworkers talk about doing something cool, see if you can join them.
my coworkers mostly talk about going to parties with their friends, that is actually about 75% of the conversations i hear from them

>>41082900
>>41082900
>and try socializing
what are the best ways i can try? the first post i made is about clubbing to try socializing, but that is apparently a bad idea

>>41083568
name?

>>41082747
>some people have asked me about myself before, but i'm boring. why talk to the guy who sits at home, vs the guy who goes out with friends and has funny stories to tell

dont talk about how you sit at home all day you mongoloid
when in doubt, talk about stuff you are familiar with - in your case, going to the gym. worst case, you'll be seen as an obsessive fitness and health nut, which isn't that bad. certainly better than being seen as the guy who spends all day sitting in mom's basement watching netflix, playing video games and masturbating to anime.

>>41083568
Wow she's beautiful, who is she?

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>>41083980
>>41083980
i do tell people i go to the gym though, but that's all i do
if they ask me what else i did over the weekend, i just tell people i relaxed and watched movies/tv

>>41084035
Kate McNamara

>>41083978
see >>41084083

>>41084083
OP, it seems your main issue isn't social awkwardness but being completely boring. What you need most of all, in my opinion, is to find other fields of interest and/or hobbies. If you can't tell anyone anything interesting about yourself, then even if you were the most charismatic person alive you'd still bore others to death.

But, imagine if you could instead tell your colleagues that over the weekend you went out to a long stroll to take pictures of wildlife; or that you went mountain climbing; or that you started painting on a new canvas; or that you had a hard game of chess against someone on the other side of the globe. Being interesting causes other people to want to have more contact with you - and more contact means higher likelihood of having friends.

don't you have ANY interests or hobbies? Do you program? Do you volunteer? Do you draw or sculpt? Do you do anything creative of any kind? Do you read any form of literature? If not, start doing something like that.

>>41072040
Get a job as a waiter. You won't learn a ton about socializing, but it will ease your fear of socializing.

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>>41072040
>Going to a public club/bar for a girl that will cheat on you with another chad or tyrone

>Not investing in an MMORPG and getting a comfy stay at home wife that will cook for you and clean and play video games with you

I'm so sick of this sorry fucking excuse for an OP coming on here every week, whining over and over again, posting thot after thot after thot to get replies even when he's been told multiple times that it's utterly pathetic. SORT YOURSELF OUT.

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>>41084810
>>41084810
most of my coworkers don't have hobbies, except for gym and going out with friends to restaurants or parties

>don't you have ANY interests or hobbies? Do you program? Do you volunteer? Do you draw or sculpt? Do you do anything creative of any kind? Do you read any form of literature? If not, start doing something like that.
i don't have any strong hobbies
i am learning programming, but i'm not very good
i read sometimes, though not enough

>or that you went mountain climbing
this is interesting to me, but impossible to do when you don't have friends

>>41085237
i was going to start visiting clubs to improve social skills, not to find a gf

>>41085656
>i don't have any strong hobbies
Great.
Step 1: start creating some, preferably several at once to find out what sticks.
Step 2: increase your understanding and skill at said hobby or field of interest.
Step 3: talk about it when asked.

I suspect that either you're unaware of their hobbies or that the specific people you were interested in are somehow the most boring creatures on the face of the earth. Get your own hobbies and stick with them, they will make you more interesting and so more likely to attract friends.

What do you think of this approach? Or are you simply going to post more pictures of attractive women in tight clothes and bemoan your situation?

>>41081338
that's why he ended up 30 with no friends right?

>>41081793

please tell me that webm is from a porno.

>>41080954

I've taken ecstacy and all it did was essentially make me catatonic. I suffer from extreme anxiety and other similar issues which would be lumped into "autism" these days on the internet. I couldn't speak and I felt like complete shit. Drugs don't have the same effects on everyone, especially not people who have different brains than normies to begin with

>>41085943
>>41085943
>Step 3: talk about it when asked.
but i'm still a novice at every hobby i am trying, and don't know if i will stick to them

>I suspect that either you're unaware of their hobbies
all i hear most coworkers talk about are things they have done with friends or plan to do with friends

some do play recreational sports, or do yoga/dance, but they rarely talk about it. from my estimate, discussing hobbies makes up less than 5% of all conversations

Do things that appeal to you. Don't try to force yourself to be happy doing stuff you don't like. That doesn't even make sense.

>>41086591
>Don't try to force yourself to be happy doing stuff you don't like
If anything appealed to him he would have done it already. He lacks exposure to new activities and fields of interest, for a while he will have to force himself to try them on.

>>41086618
You might have a point. I just mean he sounds like he is aiming at doing something big that he thinks "cool guys" do, instead of just getting a hobby/talking to people.

If I was forced to go to a nightclub again in my life I'd probably kill myself.

Drinks cost too much for most people to get drunk, no one is actually dancing, and the people who are are tacky-looking retards.

Actually I don't want to go out for entertainment, besides food, ever again.

They made apps for hooking up and kids still want to go to clubs to hook up, this is unreal.

>>41086186
would like to know as well.

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>>41072040
If you are extra autistic just start a class in kickboxing, boxing or drawing potatoes whatever you want and exchange names with the person you are sparring, drawing potatoes next to and continue from there.

>>41086698
You're right about the drinks costing too much money. And people don't even start dacing or (turn up) at the club untill like 3 or 4 AM when everyone is already drunk as fuck. Hooking up girls is easy if they're seeking for attention.

PLS STOP RESPONDING TO THIS TROLL, HE MAKES THESE KINDS OF THREADS DAILY AND TAKES NO ADVICE AT ALL

dude's been making daily threads since the start of the year with the same girl pics on every reply

>>41086829
Post proof.

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>>41086810
Pic

>>41073658
I'm not that far behind OP. Started really changing my life at 26. 27 now and it's going well, still have a long ways to go but I'm in the best shape of my life, started college, ended a toxic relationship and feel happy about it, have made OK social gains etc.
> Now to OP
Well I'm not a club type of guy, but my suggestion is to find a nice comfy local bar. That's what I did and man being a regular you get to know to all the other regulars, and at least at the one I've found there's a lot of positive influences.
> Bullshitting with engineers for Lockheed Martin, police department sergeants, professional DJs etc
> Go kayaking regularly with them all
Good times, great people.

>>41072040
I have this problem too.

I have opportunities to socialize. My job is basically being around people, but I completely lack social skills. It's not necessarily that I'm nervous or have social anxiety, I just have no idea what to say or how to keep a conversation going. I work with a guy who has a real fucking skill at socializing and saying the right thing, he's 53 and flirts with girls in their 20s and makes them blush. I'm usually in awe of how he does it. I always try to memorize how he keeps convos going and how zingers but when it comes down to it I'm not confident in my social ability. fuck me. btw. im 24

Fuck clubs.

Want to drink with friendly strangers? Look for your local chapter of Hash House Harriers.

Healthier than most clubbers, and you got to spend plenty of time showing off how fit you are, less time talking.

Should be good for a socially awkward fuck like you.

https://youtu.be/RcmWssTLFv0?t=2341
some basics on how social interaction develops

>>41072040

Don't ever go to clubs to make friends. Even the groups of "friends" that go there are barely friends. There is no sincerity, and no common interest except to get laid. If you want real friends, you should join organisations that reflect your interests and befriend people there. For myself, I joined toastmasters and a local tabletop gaming group. I also volunteer at an NGO.

>>41073162
>not concerned with getting girls
>i don't do drugs and i don't know how to dance
>the first place I want to go to meet new people is a night club

The wires in your head are truly fucked, mate.

>>41072077
but my hobbies are music and weightlifting (the sport)

I don't have time/energy for other hobbies

>>41091202
>>the first place I want to go to meet new people is a night club
nowhere did i imply this

>>41091353
>>41091353

Your entire post implied it. If there was another, previously conceived of and more highly preferred venue - something that would excluded clubs as your first choice - you never mentioned it.

>>41072040
do rugby, become friends with Chad, talk like Chad, think like Chad, breath like Chad, become Chad.

>>41091427
Not him but how hard is it to learn from scratch? Just moved to Australia and have been thinking about it seems interesting

Or I could just restart basketball

>>41092716
read the rules, watch games, join a beginner's league

>>41072040
Check out websites like meetup.com and look for an event that interests you. Go meet people with similar interests. Yahoo groups or facebook groups are worth looking into aswell.

>>41073040
>Be me
>Be autistic
>Friends take me to first rave for my bday
>For the first hour I'm just bouncing my knees and rocking my head, don't dance with hot chicks or anything
>Friend slides me some e
>Hooooooly shit, everyone is so nice, the music sounds so good
>Walk up to a group of girls and literally say "hey it's my birthday, can I get a birthday kiss?"
>"Aww you're so cute" 2 kiss me on the cheek, one kisses me on the lips
>Start dancing with girl who kissed me
>She starts grinding on me
>Afterwards we are cuddling, we just fuck like crazy at the hotel my friends got
>Wake up next morning, drive her to her friends, we live hundreds of miles away as it turns out so we never really talk again
>I'm still as autistic as ever

MDMA is like a drug that makes you temporarily normie