How does the iron heal the broken heart? Have you ever gone through

h..help

>>40978139
Went through a pretty bad breakup and couldnt lift either but here's what you gotta do: you got to build your confidence back up and focus on yourself. I downloaded tinder and started having meaningless sex with girls. You kinda get numb and you feel like you arent interested in anyone but this is the part that takes time, but someday what do you know a random qt appears and all of a sudden she's all you can think about. I know you feel like shit bro but remember, calm seas dont test the strength of the vessel and you're entering the eye of the storm my friend

You need to go chill more and really soak your feelings. Doing things other than relaxing in silence without any distractions will prolong the pain. You don't have to do it all the time just when the feelings start to get strong. Or when you need relief.

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>>40978139
idk maybe try heavy deadlifts?

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>>40978857

>>40978580
I feel there might be something to this, processing emotions might be the healthiest way OP

>>40978139
If you want to aid your emotional health, help your physical and mental heath as well.

I was in a similar situation. I met a girl in 2012, chased her and we started dating in January 2014. I moved to a new city for her after we graduated and when she started med school. She broke up with me around the end of 2016 for a myriad of reasons - both on her end and mine - that I won't get into here. But I thought I was going to marry her and would have proposed if I had enough money to support a family.

But the point is that there is time for dwelling. Learn your lessons from what you got out of the relationship and how you can apply those lessons to future relationships. After that point, dwelling will only hurt you.

Lift weights, eat right, and sleeping well will help keep your body in order and help with this process. Keeping yourself mentally stimulated will keep you in the present and help prevent excessive dwelling.

One more important thing. When your mind inevitably dwells on her and what you had, you MUST force it out with positive thoughts of the future and present. Otherwise you end up spiraling downward and then you really won't be able to focus on your work and life (I have many times, especially at first). You're going to have to be strong here because this really sucks. But I guarantee you that eventually, your mind will take over and you'll feel happier without any strain.

You'll be okay. Maybe not now, but eventually. Keep strong, lift hard, cry, and sleep my friend

>>40979215
seventh post best post

Get lost in the wood with no supplies

>>40978139
I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to read. Read, read, read.

You probably have so many questions running around inside your head right now. Why did she leave me? What did I do? Am I not good enough? I know at least I did. Fucked me over real good. Lost years 25-29 approximately just being a depressed person about shit like that.

Then I read the right book. It really did me wonders. It answered questions I didn't even KNOW I had. Then I read another book, then another. Some books weren't that fun or interesting, but I really needed them nonetheless. They were all about self-improvement, existentialism, some basic psychology, or similar subjects. Some books were hard to read, some books were pretty easy. If a book didn't really answer any questions I may have had going into it, it still did me good.

Then I did shrooms and LSD a couple of times. They did me good, really brought back some though processes I had repressed for 15+ years.

But the books did more, so first hit the books. Don't set the bar too high when it comes to literature at first, you'll naturally "progress" so to speak, just like with lifting.

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>>40978139
Got to get those 8 hours still son
> but my honest opinion is that it will hurt for a while, but eventually you learn to accept it and grow as a person. Life can be a bitch sometimes but you just have to endure until the good times come back

>>40979345
What was the book that started it all?

Rumination will only make it worse.

>>40979215
>>40979345
this is very good advice, i hope i make it

>>40979215
what was the first book?

>>40979455
>>40979795
The book that started it for me was "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover. It also had the most impact on me, because it was basically intended for guys like me, so it's not necessarily for you. It's a very easy read though, so if you're not used to reading a lot, check it out.

Other than that, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle is a good one, a bit more on the spiritual side.

"The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida is cool too, but I probably wouldn't recommend it to someone who's just starting out on their journey so to speak.