Embarrassing gym stories thread >late at night >curls

>things that never happened

>>40957659
lmao

>>40957659
kek'd hard

>>40957681
Eat your own dick faggot

>>40957681
>nigger internet defense force

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>>40957659
> Senior year of HS
> Was strongest kid in school
> Working out in school gym and 4 10/10's are watching me and my friend lift
>Decide to show off and do hand stand pushups resting my feet against the wall
> As soon as i get my feet up and go down to do one my entire left hamstring cramps up
> Fall down screaming in pain and for the gym trainer to help me
> Qt. 3.14's are standing laughing literally like pic

It was one of my lowest times

>>40957749
>let me believe the story where anon got intimidated and cucked by black men because i can relate to it!!!


okay, anon

>>40957659
Out of all the autistic made up stories I've read, this is among the most made up and most autistic

>doing bench presses for the first time
>oh fuck too much weight
>i'm stuck under the barbell
>no problem i can roll this off me before someone sees or i die
>fit cutie with a big bubble butt runs over and lifts it right off of me like i was trapped under styrofoam
>asks me if i'm ok
>wanted to cry/crawl under a rock/jump into her arms like a cartoon character and say, "shucks now i am!"

why can't i be the princess ffs

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>>40957749

I'm not racist (a little prejudice against *many* folks), but when you get 3 Black dudes / chicks together.... they become the loudest in the room and all of a sudden begin to speak Ebonics.

>I wish it were different. Maybe it is at posh fitness centers.

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>>40957659
Very funny

One time I farted while squatting and two girls were about 10 feet behind us. Me and my buddy just laughed for a good 3 minutes then continued.

> senior year of HS
> school basement weight room
> do top set 1x5 deadlifts @ 365lb
> first rep goes smooth
> second rep ok, feel a fart coming and pause to hold it
> fart is gone
> third rep, proceed to fart that echos through the room
> fourth and fifth are repeats
> even shit a little on the fifth

I'm just happy it was only me, my friend and the gym advisor in the room

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>>40957659
>>40957771
>>40958075
>>40958775
Thanks for the keks guys

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>>40957659
>>40957771
>>40958075
>>40958775

>>40957659

holy shit 5/5 kek

Kill yourself you fucking embarrassment to every man before you.

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>>40957659
>return from party home very early in the morning
>decide to go to gym early since it's open 24/7
>lay down to bench
>fall asleep instantly
>guy wakes me up
>"you gonna use that"
>"y-yeah"
>look at time
>been sleeping on the bench for half an hour

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>>40961881
kek
>going to the gym still slightly drunk
>>40957659
>Had 6 eggs for breakfast and a shit ton of muesli
>bowel_movements.jpg
>doing deadlifts
>loud, motorcycle-like fart on first rep
>repeat pretty much the same fart for the remaining 4 reps
>farts kept getting more and more high pitched until the ;last one hit a spectalur high note and sort of whimpered at the end
>mfw the gym was fairly quiet at the time so there was no way the group of 3 qts and like 4 powerlifters didn't hear me

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>>40957659
>seen a guy at gym drinking Monster Ultra Zero
>walk over
>point to his sip
>"H-how many d-do you do?"
>he looks at me
>i notice he has earphones in
>he takes them out
>"Whats up bro? Did you need something?"
>"S-S-SIPBOYS R-RIGHT FELLOW FITIZEN?"
>i literally yell it out accidentally because im so autistic
>looks at me like im retarded
>"i dont know what youre on about bro, i got a workout to do"
>puts earphones back in and turns away
>multiple people looking in my direction like im a fucking weirdo
>grab my shit and run out of the gym, didnt even finish my workout

Seriously considering switching to a new gym.

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>>40958127

>disclaimering your statement with im not racist
>on an anonymous image board

Ultimate cuck

>>40962105
doesn't your kindergarten have a gym?

>>40962115
Fuck off /pol/. He has a good point.

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>>40957659
>be me
>lifting alone because /no friends/
>get caught mirin the QT who's OHPlmao1/9thpl8 on the way to the bench press
>she starts chatting up some guy who works there
>be on last set of lmao1.5pl8 because dyel
>fail to re-rack half way through
>the QT and the guy run to help me re-rack
god just fucking kill me
>tfw you fail a 1.5pl8 rep in front of people

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>>40958775
this is why i ALWAYS shit before going to the gym

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>>40957659

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>Weight training class as senior in high school
>First time trying to bench 225 after 3 months or so
>I'm a skinny fuck, don't judge
>Waiting on my gym partner who is always late
>Only took the class to laze around in
>I waited like 20 mins watching other people workout
>Say fuck it
>I figured that I'll just use the safeties and I'll be fine
>Lay down on bench and I'm getting pumped up
>3 little DYEL freshmen come over and started hyping me up
>I grin
>Watch and learn little fuckmonkeys
>I try and re-position my body on the bench by pushing on the bar and moving my feet back
>Don't know if that makes sense but fuck you
>Anyways, one side of the barbell came out of the j-hook but was stopped by the saftey
>It dumped the weight to the ground because #noclips
>Fell on one of the freshmen's feet.
>Literally the most painful thing he has ever had happened to him from his reaction
>I'm only semi-pinned because one side is still in the j-hook
>Lift the bar up to help the little toadsucker
>But forget that the 100 pounds is still on the other side
>Lifted barbell so high that gravity took over
>Barbell launched itself at chubby asian kid
>Only hit it in the shoulder but he still freaks out
>Falls to the ground and starts crying like the first freshman
>Look at the 3rd freshman
>He's crying for some reason, he didn't even get hit
>Everyone runs over to save the freshman
>Start herding them away from my rack so the coach doesn't think I was a part of any of this
>Gym buddy runs over
>Hey brah I was a bit late, why didn't you wait for a spot
>MFW

>>40958775
iktfb.

>>40962398
this, and i train at home.

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>>40961881
>"you gonna use that"
>"y-yeah"

>>40957728
>>40957749
>>40962511

I'm crying from laughing so hard

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>be me at award ceremony senior year
>got a letter invitation
>thought it was for making the honor roll
>nope its just for "most improved" in PE
>went from benching 95 to 200 in one year
>we're all lined up to take stage
>name is called, walk accross the stage to recieve cert from PE coach
>ask him "hey can I say something into the mic?"
>sure why not
>"well you're probably all waiting for me to do this!"
>Flex my dyel arms on the front of the stage
>nobody laughs
>longest walk of shame through the audience straight to the parking lot and sped off

>>40957659
(you)
:-D

>>40962614
Kek, I feel you buddy

>>40962614
Jesus fucking Christ man

>>40962511
Thanks brah

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>>40962511
Kek literally bent over a table from laughter while reading the part with chubby asian kid

> At gym in the middle of the day
> large gym, pretty packed too
> pre-workout has made its way through me already, go for a power-shit
> as I take my place on the throne I see the shadow of the guy in the cubicle next to me
> his arm is moving back and forth quickly
> think either this guy is rubbing one out or he's shaking a vile of roids or some shit
> finish my log, wipe and pull pants up
> the guy's arm is still shaking
> he's totally having a tug, what the fuck
> thinking I'm funny I say quite loudly "are you having a fucking wank?" enough so that others in the bathroom could hear
> "that's fucking disgus-" next thing I know, a fucking fist and half a very bulky arm breaks through the wooden cubicle divider
> "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME CUNT"
> flinched so hard i fell into my cubicle door, i have never been so frightened
> arm is thrashing around trying to grab me
> flightmode.jpg
> people in the bathroom have a look of shock as I sprint out past them
> dude yells something else as I'm bailing but I'm too far gone
> I was in my car within 20 seconds
> left my towel on the leg press
> left my log in the toilet bowl
> have since been recognised by 1 person from the bathroom that day

and that is the story of how I escaped the furious masturbator

>>40961881
Drunk gym is the best. I started pregaming before my workout because I'm dumb and forgot, but wasn't about to puss out and skip, so I went drunk. It made being drunk a lot worse, but made lifting a lot more fun.

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>>40957659
i kek'd/10

>>40963642
that is priceless

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>>40963642
kekd so hard, thank you for sharing.

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> started /fit/ a year ago
> go to gym for first time
> on squat rack
> last rep
> accidentally rip ass
> as long as it was loud
> everything stopped and everyone looked in my direction
Never have I wanted to shoot myself on the spot so much

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>>40963642

>>40957659
>be me

>be me, dyel, first time in gym
>new to country, not sure of gym ettiquite
>blond qt3.14 doing leg curls in tight yoga pants
>decide to start humping her
>she screams and the gym owners look over at me humping her with a disgusted look
>they pull me off of her
>one says "sorry about that sir, I hope this doesnt affect your view of us"
>they ban her from the gym
>thank goodness Sweden is so accepting

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>>40957659
>about 3 or so years ago
>1 month into lifting squatting 205 for the first time
>feel pretty good
>on my 5th rep, can't get up, don't have a spotter
>oh shit, no safeties cause I'm dumb
>almost decapitate myself but somehow do some sort of front to backflip and then a reverse somersault out of the rack
>to this day I don't know how/what I did
>look up to see a huge samoan guy behind me says "what the fuck, you alright?"
>"h-haha gotta start somewhere right?"
>he says that whatever I did saved my life and was impressed
>I dono man

>>40963892
>making rape jokes based on political situations when nobody was talking about politics
get raped and kill yourself.

>>40963997
It was a joke based off the embarrassing gym stories topic that used the current state of sweden as the punchline. Sorry for insulting your country's lenient immigration and rape laws.

>>40962343
Failing a bench rep and having someone save you must be a rite of passage in the gym

>>40963997

Swedecuck detected

>>40964067
>>40964066
I'm from MI you stupid kikes.

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>At gym a few weeks ago.
>Doing lmao2.5pl8 deadlifts 5x3
>Hear a rubbling in my belly
>"Just keep doing your workout, it'll be fine"
>rumbling moves down lower into my body
>Itsbrappening.png
>As I do the last rep my ass explodes with a loud fart.
>It quickly drifts throughtout the gym as people smell it and look around.
>Just finished my workout so stealth my way out of there.
>mfw

>>40962887
>not flexing a 'cep when everyone's watching
never gonna make it

>>40963997
LMAO

>>40964063
LMFAO

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>>40957659
5/5 breddy gud

>>40957771
>try to impress gf with handstand pushups
>lose balance, fall over
at least I learned my lesson, don't be a faggot

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>>40957659
>did bench press
>went to rerack the weights
>some fragile qt3.14 is on the other side of the bench trying to find a pl8
In my gym there's plates on steel rods behind the benches and squat racks
>one of the rods was filled with plates all the way
>as im putting a plate from my side i aciddentally slam it really hard
>a 20kg plate falls from the rod on her side
>falls on her foot
>she lets out a horrifying scream and drops on the ground
>i just stand there in shock for 5 seconds looking at her howl in pain
>people quickly run up to her
>i dont know what to do so i go there and start apologizing
>the entire gym is watching
>she's crying on the floor and everyone is looking at me like im a monster
>people are asking me what i did
>im trying to explain but im choking back tears
>underpressure.jpg
>eyes are watering
>gym staff rushes in
>gym staff asks what happened
>everyone points at me
>i am being interrogated like im hiding jews
>turns out i broke her foot
>mfw
>i manage to convice the staff that it was an accident
>as they turn their attention to her i make a run for the locker room
>change and lock myself in the bathroom while to coast clears
>i was in there for 20 minutes
>muster the courage to make a run for it
>leave gym


I had to go back there since i was on a 6 month contract and ive been getting looks since then. Still havent seen the girl tho.

>>40964716
>>i am being interrogated like im hiding jews

fucking kek

>Still havent seen the girl tho.

Probably because she has a broken foot m8

>>40957891
Did you even read that story? How is it possible for the black man to cuck anon with anon? Idiot.

>>40964716
>Still havent seen the girl tho.
no shit, it's hard to lift with a broken foot asshole

>>40957659
Fucking pathetic. God I hate some of the people on this board. You just allowed a woman to get attacked? You're fucking pathetic.

>>40962614
Ouch.

You deserved it.

>>40964851
yeah so what do you do tough guy? go all jojo joestar and get the shit beat out of you and then raped by niggers and then go to jail for hate crimes?

>>40964881
I'm not an autistic neet like you and I am actually strong and box so yes I'd have beaten the fuck out of the niggers. I bet the OP is German these are exactly the sort of beta males that shit country is filled with.

What's the point of going to the gym if you can't stop disgusting nogs harassing women. Fucking pathetic.

>>40964898
If you sit back and watch nogs try to rape a white woman you're not a man and should be hung from a lamppost. OP deserves the rope fuckin faggot

>>40964898
>>40964907
>>40964851

HE'S THE FUCKING GIRL YOU RETARDED TRIPFAG.

>>40964912
No he's not you stupid cunt

>>40964912
>HE'S THE FUCKING GIRL
no where does it say this and also
>they walk past me to rape a cardio bunny

>doing SS
>listening to autistic anime songs while lifting
>doing The Press
>doing 60kg/1pl8 for the first time
>on my final set
>on my final lift
>lifting it.... over across my face
>my phone unplugs because the wire got caught in my t-shirt
>fully extend while the phone is blasting "SHOUNEN YO SHINWA NI NARE!!!"

>doing cardio in college campus gym
>dyel guy with immaculate workout clothes takes bike next to me
>stays on lowest setting
>pedals half-assedly
>uses tinder on his phone the entire time
>leaves after a minute and a half

>>40964926
>>40964928
I'm OP and i'm the one who shrieked since they walked past me and then came back to grab my ass.

>>40964939
>he's so poor that his phone doesn't automatically pause the music when his headphones unplug
>he's too poor for bluetooth

>>40964955
>I'm OP
proof

>>40964907
>>40964898
>im le cool boxy boxer
The fact that you are trying to show off and prove how great and manly and strong your on a tasmanian voodoo puppet crafting board just goes to show how pathetic and insecure you are.
I bet you are smaller than a grain of salt and start shaking when something happens irl you big fucking bitch.

>>40964851
>>40964907
>>40964926
>this autist posts on here too

Get off my blog and get off my fitness board, little man.

>>40964979
don't fucking post in this thread again

>>40964990
no suck a nigger dick and kill yourself

>>40964990
T. owner of 4chan

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>>40965017
>being this new

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>>40965029

>>40963892
kek

>>40963870
>bee me

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>>40957659
>Embarrassing gym stories thread

I can power snatch more than I snatch and I*ve been lifting for over four months.

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>>40965049

>>40964898
>>40964907
>>40964926
Anyone else here hate fucking tripfags?

>on the treadmill
>that reverse sit up bench thing is in my right periphery
>guy in white shirt and black shorts starts doing some reverse sit ups
>in my peripheral vision I can see each rep
>my is interpreting it as him fling squats while pulling down his pants slightly for each rep
>start laughing
>can't stop seeing that mental image with every rep he does
>trip while laughing
>fly off treadmill
>still laughing

I definitely looked like a maniac

>>40964979
I don't normally trip on /fit/ but cba to turn it off today.

Does everyone on /fit/ know that you're a pole who lives off literal autism bux (gibs from the govt for being a retard) in Glasgow. And everyone on brit/pol/ thinks you're a cunt.

>>40964955
This makes no sense. So they walked past you to speak to cardio bunny and then began trying to rape you. And you feel ashamed for shrieking even though you're a girl.

Lies OP is beta faggot who lets nogs attack white woman. Probably Preusse, faggot of brit/pol/ dssu

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>>40957771
>trying to do hspu to impress a girl
>haven't warmed up at all and can normally barely do 2
>feel like I'm going to fail and roll out of it
>still look cool and nobody realized I failed at what I was trying to do

>>40965018
>Preuße
>kann angeschwollen werden
Wähle eins aus du scheiß Preiss.

>>40965196
He's polish not German. He just likes to larp as a kraut for (You)s

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>haven't done deadlifts in forever, trying to catch my squat up
>225 x 5 x5
>Couple of 275 triples
>oly bro walks to next pad. Cleans 225 as a warm up

Goddamnit

>>40963642
Australia has gyms?

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Failed a penis inspection day at school. At least kids forgot about it soon afterwards

I took a dude's towel one time, forget I left mine in the sauna. He buzzed right up to me

UM EXCUSE ME I THINK SOME ONE MAY HAVE TAKEN MY TOWEL?!!??!!

and I was like, whoopsie, here you go, mine looks just like it and he gave me a massive stink eye

I'm all like bro we're naked here, our dicks are literally hanging out and you're going to be a dick about an honest mistake?

>>40965338
fuck off lad my Egyptian cotton towels aren't cheap and I don't want your fucking dick and balls rubbing on them

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>>40957749
>implying they are able to use the internet, let alone comprehend arguments

>>40962614
>Being this Omega

>>40963642
> "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME CUNT"

My sides are orbiting Alpha Centauri

>>40962115
/pol/ pls go.
Worst board.

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>be me
>from /v/
>read thread
did brapposting start on /fit/?

>>40965652
Yes.

>>40965529
kys cuckstain

>>40962614
Are you that guy who 'flexes a 'cep' unironically ?

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>>40957659

bumping a good thread

>>40965652
It's been here for months, it's almost fading away now

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>>40963892
I died.

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>>40963892
kek. but in all seriousness, Sweden is doomed

pic related, top center. every goddamn time

>>40966766
That's fucking embarassing

>>40957659
>In gym with gf at time
>Having an argument, in a bad mood
>Be spacial autist
>Bars stored vertically in holes
>Pull bar out of hole so hard it goes up through the low ceiling
>Ceiling made of paper so large hole has been made
>Meet someone in a club a week later and they ask if I was the one who made a hole in the gym ceiling

>>40967129
Olympic Vertical Storage Rack is the word I was looking for when describing where they were stored

>>40963642
Kek

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>>40962041

Years ago I was doing Jason Blaha's Ice Cream Fitness 5x5 Novice Program.
that is my embarrassing gym story

>>40958127
lmao, im white and 3 white girls or 3 white boys are equally load. chinese people are the loudest,

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I was on an elliptical, lost my balance because I'm a huge kluz, and fell first onto the elliptical, hitting my eye on one of the handles. Then I fell down to the bottom of it, I became dazed and stuck in it. Two people came over to help. I ended up having bruises all over and a black eye. I put an eyepatch on and wore long sleeve shirts and leggings for a while so people thought I had pink eye and didn't think that my boyfriend beat the shit out of me or something.

>bf's face when I walked through the door of our apartment

>>40967886
post pic

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>>40962511
FUCKING KEK I'm a senior in HS too and the freshman part is too real

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>>40962511
>>Look at the 3rd freshman
>>He's crying for some reason, he didn't even get hit

>>40964851
>fucking pathetic
That's the point of the thread dumbass. He is pointing out his own faults

>>40957659
>be me
>rippetoe (67)
>exclaims “glutes"
>"That's nothing watch this”
>flex asshole 3x5
>screams ”HIP DRHAAAAAAVE"
>holds my ass as we lunge down the road
>later at dinner, grabs pec
>they lactate
>"solid"

>>40962614
this is hilarious, I would've laughed my dude

>>40964898
fucking kill youself you dumb skinny fucking anglo prick

>>40968318
Me too. The people at his school were obviously a miserable bunch of bastards.

>>40961881
hahahahahahahaahahahaha

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>>40962511
Dude, I think I remember hearing about this. Did you go to Churchill HS?

>>40957659
Thanks anon this made me chuckle

>>40966766
So if I convert to Judaism I'll be on the winning team?

>in college using the treadmills at one of the many workout facilities
>girl comes in and starts using the treadmill 2 over from me
>she's smoking hot and wearing neon green tights that are all in her ass and a small tank top
>i wait till she gets going at a good speed, then look over to gawk for a second
>my left foot comes down on the side of the treadmill instead of the belt part
>execute a half flip in the air and smash my head on the floor
>notice her looking over as i get up

after that she just pretended she didnt see it and didnt even ask if i was alright or anything

>>40963977
lmao

>>40964101
Michigan is the abscess of America.

>>40964939
https://youtu.be/qux9-HOm6eg
hope it was this version, anon

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>>40967129
>In gym with gf at time
>Having an argument

>>40963997
Found the cuck. Be sure to hold achmeds balls when he's deep in your wife, mom and dad.

>at gym with my crew
>my turn to squat
>accidentally fart a bit on 3rd rep
>start chuckling to myself
>go down for 4th rep
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPP
>have to bail because I'm laughing too hard
>crew laughing too
>next person starts squatting
>he farts too
>whole crew paralyzed with laughter for a few minutes
>whole gym looking at us like we're idiots
>we don't care
>finish workout while spewing bantz, laughing, and having a great time

>Be me in 9th grade
>Working out in school gym
>I invited qt asian 10/10 to come to gym
>She wants to bench
>Let her bench the bar first so she can see how heavy it is
>Alright my turn
>Load 1 pl8
>Shit dude this is gonna be a PR
>bragging that i always do 3 pl8 but i am sick today
>Never could do even 25 lbs
>Get under bench
>Lift
>Slowly go down
>Realize that i am not controlling weight
>Struggle
>Chad notices me
>Weight is coming down closer and closer to my neck
>He walks over
>Literally flailing my whole body trying to get out
>Chad grabs the bar with one arm and lifts it off me
>Asian qt is shocked
>She says "You dont come here a lot, do you?"
>Want to die.
>Chad "You really should be more carefulll how much weight you put on the bar, start with these lighter bars and do 10lbs"
>REEE IM NOT THAT WEAK CHAD
Was considering making you guys walk the dinosaur so i didnt have to relive this

>doing tricep extensions with cables
>go to change the weight
>decide to drink some water and get distracted
>pull down hard on the rope
>zero resistance as I didn't put the pin back in
>fall forward and smack my head on a metal pole
>start to cry
>people come over and sit me down
>I just want to run away, but they're finding the first aid box to stick plasters on my forehead

>>40969274
Haha! My guess is you are from Ohio or Indiana...

Not for me, but for someone else

>doing my thing
>qt girl enters gym
>it's just the two of us
>she sets up on the other side of the room doing some random shit
>I ignore her and do my thing
>she's slowly working her way closer to me with every exercise
>time for bench, awww yeah
>set up bench
>she sets up on the bench next to me
>she's doing situps
>suddenly, mid rep, I smell the most horrific stench ever
>immediately start coughing and wheezing
>have to bail mid set
>she jumps up from her bench, and runs out

We had a real connection for a second there. I think I love her

>>40968625
Wtf is he doing. Is he that oblivious to building arm muscle?

>>40963997
Ffffaggot

>>40969501
LMAO, I've seen that happen twice now for some reason. Stop leaning on shit you sillies.

>>40969585
so it wasnt just me that noticed how much he is cheating these reps

>>40963997
When you're more butthurt about bants on the internet then from your dunemonkey boyfriend pounding you

>Squatting with very good form, very confident
>Finally decide to do lmao 2pl8
>Squat five reps, ezpz
>"Alright, I'll add 5 more pounds to each side just to see the difference."
>squat
>Get stuck
>Feels like I'm trying to lift a truck
>Manlet curly friendo comes rushing over, helps me up with the barbell still on my shoudlers
>"You need a spot."
I'm very thankful it was just him there.

>>40968961
Technically, but then you'd be a fucking kike. Do you call that winning?

>>40969284
This was unironically inspiring

>>40962115
>using a niche fetish for his basis ideology

Kys

>>40970000
QUADSSSSSSS TELL TRUTH

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>>40963642
>"are you having a fucking wank?"

>>40963702
is it you beergut guy

>Back from college
>Forget that local gym requires you to set the height of the bench press
>Throw bar + weights backwards over the top
>HUGE NOISE
>Everybody looks over
>Die

>Friday blow out day
>8 hour work
>1 hour stretch
>1 hour sauna
>2 hour jiu jitsu
>leave jiu jitsu worn out but still want to hit some DL
>so worn out i decide to just do it in my gi pants and my work boots I'm still wearing
>225 great
>315 fail to get it off the ground
>realize nobody knows why I am wearing gi pants and work boots
>they all watched me fail miserably at a simple lift
>30 minute sauna and shower to wash off the shame

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>don't wear baggy clothes
>drink protein shake at gym
>belly gets fat as fuck and makes you look like you have a beer belly

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>TFW last shoulder raise set
>Abyss watcher OST starts u
>Aww shit time to get swole and light the fires!
>Earphones manage to get snagged and removed.
>People look at me wierd, as the chorus starts playing
>TFW hearing them snicker when I rushed to exit the gym...
>Buddy text me that my nickname is Mozart


I wasn't even fucking playing classical music, the fuck...

>>40970277
This is bullshit, if your headphones get ripped out it just pauses the song.

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>>40963997

>>40970295
I was playing it on YT. Doesn't allow background playback. So i had to put it to never sleep on settings.

you think about it. Phone is in my pocket, face toward my skin. Never sleeping and earphones get pulled.

>>40969816
>>40969585
those are lying tricep extensions, or the "French Press" you fucking tripple niggers. they're superior to skullcrushers in every way.

>>40970320
you using an iphone?
open the video in safari instead of the yt app
hit the shrink screen button in the lower right of the video
should let you hit play again once you've hit the sleep button

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This just happened today, While I was trying to bench press for the first time ever. I put too much weight on and when I cam down for my fourth rep I gave out and dropped the bar, all the plates came off because I didn't know what clamps where. I'm in uni, so everyone turned and saw and watched the whole thing, including a few dindus and QTs, asian ones too. An upperclassman (might've been a junior) was using freeweights near me, and helped me pick everything up and then instructed me on how to actually bench properly. He was a total bro about it and it was a super nice thing to do, but the entire experience on top of being shown how to do it correctly in front of a bunch of people who just saw me autism all over the place was the most embarrassing moment of my life I seriously wanted to die /fit/ I almost pulled an /r9k/ and ran out of the gym then and there leaving a trail of spaghetti and never to return I was that embarrassed.

>>40970528
u gotta start somewhere mate

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>>40970277
>Dark Souls music at the gym

>>40970528
>While I was trying to bench press for the first time ever
>I put too much weight on

Shoulda just started with the bar, my dude. Don't get that gymtimidation when you see Chad doing 3pl8.

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>>40963642
>arm is thrashing around trying to grab me

Holy fuck hahahah

>>40967886
This reminds me of a story
>do 60 minutes of elliptical cardio after every workout
>start watching netflix shows because songs are getting boring and cant read when super exhausted
>watching marco polo one day
>50 minutes into episode there is a scene where a cobra jumps out after MC lifts a rock
>knew what would happen but my body instantly responded anyway
>legs full jump to get away from snake
>hands vice gripped to poles
>superman the elliptical
>land on footholds
>they still have momentum and fuck me up a bit
>get back on and finish up and go home
Such is life in the gym

>benching with my duel friend
>put 2pl8 on
>go to lift the bar and I fall sideways
>the fucker put on 3 plates
>hard to explain the physics of what happened but I'll try
>plates slide off the one side onto the floor
>other side whiplashes onto the next bench
>lucky nobody was on it
>whole gym staring

>>40964148
they knew it was you

>freshman year uni
>just switched from using lbs to kg
>met some other gym bro freshmen, decide to hit gym together
>throw on 80kg for warm up
>thought it would only be around 140lbs
>barely crank out 3 reps
>gym bros think I'm ego lifting but really I'm just stupid

>>40970263
you stretch for an hour?

I've been looking for this story for a very long time, but I'm afraid nobody ever got a screenshot. Anybody have the green text of the guy who finally got a gf and she got hit by a car while they were crossing the street together, but he was autistic and didn't know what to do, so he kept on walking pretending he didn't notice?

>>40965652
it started on /r9k/

>>40970528
kek. just imagining a person being this spergy amuses me.

>go to shit hole community gym
>dont have a set time to go so i always see new faces
>planning on joining a home gym
>decide the last month there ill see how many numbers i can get
>got denied 12+ times
>in the end i got one phone number
>talked her for a day but she was too down
>guess either you got it or you dont
>teachers are just hard to understand i guess

>>40963642
this is def satire but oh holy christ I did laugh very very much.

>be skinny dyel faggot
>prepare for gym for months by doing tons of crunches at home
>first day at gym
>decide to try some hanging leg raises as I figure I can pull them off
>easier than I thought
>swinging my legs hard and fast getting more and more confident
>throw everything I've got into the last rep
>kick my self directly in the face
>yelp like a puppy
>lose my grip and fall straight onto my ass
>curl up into a ball and start writhing in both pain and embarrassment

No one even fucking came to help me. That's when I learnt one is alone in this world.

>>40963977
Dude all you have to do is dump the bar behind you and jump forward. It's more dangerous to bench alone than to squat alone

>>40964583
Girls don't even understand what kind of work is involved with being able to do stuff like that. They don't care. You'll only impress bros desu

>>40969472
God damn anon that is embarassing but i'm glad you got it off your chest. It sounds like something tjat I would have done at that age.

>>40969501
thats what you get for leaning in to it AKA cheating

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>be me in uni
>no car yet so get my mom to take me to the gym
>forget my deodorant in the car so my mom comes to the front counter to ask for me

>loud speaker: "Can anon please come to the front counter please, your mother is waiting for you."

>>40970528
My man. That shit is a eite of passage. Just think about how that makes you look. Overconfident! which is way the fuck better than underconfident. Who cares? Everyone at the gym HAS BEEN THERE.

>>40972161
You're not alone, none of us are alone.
All because we have /fit/ and /fit/ has us.
What is /fit/ you may ask.
WE ARE /FIT/

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>>40962105
Jesus Christ I'm sorry dude

>See cute girl in apartment gym
>sperg out
>Ask her to hold a medicine ball to my back while I do 20 push-ups
>She does it and looks confused
>Finish and say thanks then she leaves the gym and I never see her again
What the absolute fuck was I thinking

>>40970320
if you use mozilla firefox browser for youtube, you can turn the screen off while still listening to music. my phone has two settings, headphone sound. and speaker sound. put the speaker to zero.

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>>40964849

>>40964898
>in a weight room
>"I box"
>takes a ten pound plate to his head
>is now inside a box

>>40965116
Yes! The worst.

>>40964940
Did he get a match?

>>40957659
these are the people that browse pol.com

>>40965059
I've resigned myself to the fact I'll never be able to do the classics worth a shit and I've sworn off them. They have derailed my progress more than once and they really serve no purpose towards my main goals.

>>40971836
either joe rogan or one of his friends

>>40969575
Did she fart?

>>40964851
Fuck them, they don't need men remember. They're our equals and can do everything a man can do.
Don't vote for them, don't hire them, don't help them in anyway.... just screw them.

>>40964898
No you're a maggot. Women voted to be raped. You can go to jail for them. I wont.

>>40964926
You're an uncle fucker

>>40968961
You cant convert to Judaism you mong. You need to have a jewish mother. They are a tribe after all, its not just paying taxes and pretending to believe. Thats why they try to degenerate everyone that is not Jewish.

>>40958075
This happened to keep in high school. I tried benching while I was fucked up on pills and the bar fell on my head. Some dudebro saved me but everyone in the gym was laughing.

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>Switch gyms because my old one never died down after NYR
>Still 100+ people at any given time and still a queue for stuff I want to use
>Sign up online
>Head to front desk
>Say I need to set up fingerprint it's my first time
>Skinny "athletic" receptionist
>Trying to be overly happy and friendly
>Introduces himself, and then grabs the girl next to him
>This is a beautiful girl
>"erm, yeah, she's nice, hi I'm anon"
>She blushes but doesn't respond
>He's saying he just likes to have fun
>QT will get me signed up
>Follow her to table
>She asks me to fill out a form
>Tell her I've already signed up and just need to do fingerprint
>Gets me to fill it out anyway
>Marital status: Partnered
>She looks annoyed and sends me back to front desk
>Set up my fingerprint ID
>She throws my form in the trash
>Look her in the eyes confused as fuck as I walk past
>Workout upstairs away from these people

>>40973698
I don't believe you.

>>40973722

I wish I was making this up. It was more embarrassing for me cause I immediately went red faced and stumbled on my words.

>be me in weight training class
>read the /fit/ sticky a year earlier and think im the shit
>honestly believe I know everything about gaining muscle and strength because i watched some rippetoe videos
>every fucking class I'd find a moment to raise my hand and correct the teacher about how "squatting builds more muscle on your whole body because of test boost" or some other bullshit
>literally put notes on my final test criticizing the questions and shit
cringe every time i remember this shit but i guess thats just a part of being a teenager

>graduate high school
>fattest I've ever been
>dad was a competitive body builder for a while out of college
>he says that we've both got too fat and we're going to the gym
>we're at the gym and I'm benching the bar
>he's screaming at me to go harder
>we do squats and deadlifts
>he screams at me through every rep even though I'm doing baby weight
>everyone staring
>we do this for months
>get into the best shape of my life

thanks dad...

>>40965321
How exactly does one 'fail' a penis inspection? What were you being inspected for?

>>40965652
>>40972063
It started on /tv/ like all good memes.

Note: Do not confuse brappp-posting with fartposting, a similar but unrelated /lit/ meme

>>40973950
>he doesn't know about penis inspection

>>40973950
i bet you don't even tip your gym receptionist

>Trying to do 2.4km at 14 km/h
>Around the 1km mark I my legs cease to function
>Ankles bend backwards as I get flung into the wall behind me
>Loud crash the entire gym can hear
>Put a hole in the wall
>Foot gets sucked under treadmill
>Broken toe and $50 in damages
>No running for 3 weeks

>>40973950
It was an underwater weighing penis inspection with my sister, she wore her hair up.

>>40957659
I kek'd way too hard at this. Thank you OP.

>>40957771
"Haha omg hes in pain haha!"
Fuck them dude

>>40974077
nice yet infuriating

>>40972399
Farrrk

>>40957659
haha i saw this on reddit so i just had to see where this came from ahahaha hi guys

>>40973339
Shit probably

>>40974270
Link? Are Reddit laughing at the dyel cuck too?

>>40970263
>Jiu Jistu
>Stretch for an hour

Definetly a faggot

>>40974326
https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/63lt06/anon_gyms_at_night/

What's louder

3 Drunk white girls
3 ghetto black guys
2 angry Italians

>>40974377
They all pale in comparison the the 400db roar of an offended black women.

>>40974377
>Noise:
italian > black guys > white girls

>Annoyingness:
black guys > white girls > italian

> 2am
> stroll in like nobodies business
> qt clerk from afternoon covering someone else's shift
> gym is a ghost town
> " it's just you and me tonight anon, why don't you skip the warmup and we can just get straight to business"
> mind goes blank as I stare at her
> She starts laughing
> "enjoy your workout"
> I let out a "what?"
> She laughs even harder and says she was joking around
> I assume my blank stare became a gloomy one
> " awwww, didn't mean to get ya down champ"
> slump off to the locker rooms
> transition into the weight room
> notice clerk talking to the manager who probably came out from the back office
> I read her lips let out an expressive WHAAAAT
> Manager-san starts laughing with her and I quickly look away in shame

Bitches and whores

>>40964066
Well consider me not quite passage ed
>Few months back, decide to go for a PR.
>Made it, may as well go for reps and do 2 more sets after a rest
>Was only person in the weight section, bit then tall handsome dude with pretty much goal body rolls up
>Out of the whole place he pulls up a bench with some dumbbells right in front of me
>Why.jpg
>Instead of facing the front where the mirrors are, he is set up facing me, so if we are both resting, we are just staring at each other.
>I speak my zanpakto's name and unleash my ban-WHY
>Get super nervous, don't rest very long because awkward
>Last set, 4th rep is mad tough.
>Last rep I'm halfway up, stall, struggle, think to myself this was good enough for a PR day, let's just quit, weight starts coming back down
Suddenly hear
>PUSH IT
Not entirely sure if it was him shouting that or a sneeze to this day
>The unexpected confusion is enough that I push it up and rack it... Look over and the dude is already doing a set like nothing happened
>When I'm done talking weights off he finished his set, I go over and say thanks... He's got earbuds in so I give a respect nod... Having done both those things but not certain he heard me
>I do both again while looking away for the rest of my workout when we pass

>Be me
>At the gym
>Fat
>DYEL

How embarrassing. Feels bad man.

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>>40962041

>>40973891
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laWIcAsBi_E

>>40974270
You have to go back

>>40964898
Pol power fantasy please go

>>40957659
>see what looks like an adult woman riding a great dane
>nigger doing calf raises with his braindead gf sitting in his back
>embarrassing as fuck
>white women are the dumbest ppl on the planet

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>>40962614

>>40961881
Did you ever think by yourself you're literally a gains goblin?

>>40964101
GO BACK TO CHICAGO YOU HIPPY FUCK WE DONT LIKE YOUR KIND HERE.

>>40967886
I knew you were a woman the moment I saw "fell off the elliptical".
Lmfao.

>>40968625
go dawgs

>>40963642
Pls be real

>be me stuck on 115lb bench
>getting sick of being here and just want to hit 1pl8
>feeling confident hopped up on sips load 1pl8
>feeling controlled on the descent
>cant put it back up
>gymbro notices and runs over
>cant speak but let out a roar of 1000 roars
>get right side up
>shuffle hand over and put up left side
>gymbro looking at me in shock
>everybody else in the gym has stopped what they were doing and they all stare at me
>even the guys with headphones heard me

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>>40972260
>i'm glad you got it off your chest

>>40965175
You realize you just claimed you can't be bothered to press your delete key in the name field after writing multiple replies?

>>40963642
I'm puking my whey all around me

>>40969472
>guy saves you and tells you not to kill yourself
>FUCK YOU CHAD YOU FUCKING CHAD

Not that bad desu but:
>wearing cheaper leggings from Zara - usually wear Lululemon or something
>working with my PT, another PT is on the floor rolling out his legs
>my PT has me doing goblet squats and my ass facing the direction that the other PT on the floor's face is
>no big deal, he probably sees this all the time
>an hour later at home I'm curled up on the couch
>have mirrored console
>OPs pic is mrw I can clearly see my thong when my leggings are stretched out

DID HE NOTICE GUYS

>>40978474
stop wearing thongs you faggot tranny

>>40973498
nice mature

>>40978494
wana c my vag

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>>40962041
MY SIDES

>>40978474
Yup

>>40974077

made me kek

>>40974542
why didnt u say awesome, lets go. then proceed to head into the womens toilets lol.

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>>40974542
damn, that story would mesh well with the "walking encounter" meme format. pic related

>>40975006

You have to go back to /a/ you cartoon freak.

>>40974542
what a cunt. dont let that bullshit get to you anon.

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>>40978611
and here's another example

>>40970277
who cares, you're a little faggot getting embarrassed.


Listen to w/e gets you pumped who cares.

>>40969472
>bragging that i always do 3 pl8 but i am sick today
>fail at 1plate

fucking pathetic lol.

do dunbell press if u want to brag infront of qte.

>>40974329
Jiu jitsu is legitsu, faggot

>>40974077
Typical

>>40973538
You most certainly can convert, it's just a longer process than with most religions.

>>40970414
I thought french press was while sitting upright on the bench?

>>40972172
>be doing front squats
>start to lose control
>remember anons advice
>just dump the bar back and jump forward
>throw bar backwards
>start to jump forward and the bar catches me by the throat
>get violently thrown backwards
>die

Thanks bro.

>>40979500
>can throw your squat weight over your head
Damn bro add some fucking weight

>>40973775
>partnered

So....you're a fag?

>>40978601
It's easy to say that shit when you're not in that guy's position.

I'm sure if you were walking down the street, and some random hot girl just ran up to you and said "Let's fuck, right now!", you'd probably let out an audible "Huh?" from sheer disbelief.

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>>40965652
What anime senpai?

I have one for you

>be PT at gym
>training some qt chick
>doing situps
>hold her feet as she goes up
>suddenly mid set hear the loudest fart
>struggle to keep poker face and keep counting the reps
>chick dying of embarrassment
>casually walk away at the end of set
>burst laughting in locker room
>never saw the girl again

>>40963642
Fucking crying kek

>>40978544
ye

>>40979995
Should have laughed, would have helped break the tension. Then, you probably wouldn't have lost a client.

>>40964148
How much the "pl8" you referring weight?

I once bumped into a guy's crotch when he helped me finish my bench press.

>>40968625
>>40976665
Calgary?
crzay niggas. thats my shit

>>40980251
I know but it really caught me off guard when it happened i actually doubt it happened at all also i think even if i laughed she would bail anyway, gal was really the shy type.

>>40980397
You should have inhaled deeply and winked at her

>>40980426
Yeah and probably said something along the lines of "quite pungent indeed my dear"

>>40978611
That's niggerwalk you newfag.

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Happened less than 2 hours ago

>be me, trying to get into oly lifts a bit more
>be working cleans, trying to nail the form
>get workout buddy to film me so i can watch it back and see how my form is
>people see, must think I think the babyweight is impressive. Watch it back several times so hopefully people notice and realise I'm just checking my form
>think I've nailed it (wrong), add some more weight
>1st rep fine, 2nd rep fine, 3rd rep fine
>4th rep catch pretty low, lose balance
>fall backwards with bar still on my chest
>hit floor noisily and everyone turns around
>roll bar to my waist and realise I need to play this off
>stick my thumb up and start laughing
>everyone goes about their business
>get up, do the weight again for 3 more reps to prove I can

idk if it was that embarrassing, but I wanted to die. It doesn't help I'm skele as fuck so I must've looked like a complete cunt.

pic related, what I thought was a good idea to do whilst laying flat on my back with a barbell across my body.

>>40980483
Hahahahaha pretty good with the pic

>>40980271
Are you grill? If not, then this is boring.

>>40980483
As long as you didn't lie on the floor crying I don't think anyone would really care

>>40980678
Nope, bounced right back up. I don't think I'm injured at all either, which is nice.

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>>40962105
I would consider suicide

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Didn't happen to me obviously but I'd like someone to explain what the fuck I saw last night

>walk into the gym
>there's this dude on one of the three squat racks doing deadlifts with his shoes off
>he's got a gigantic bag of chalk half spilled onto the floor next to him
>his hands are fucking caked in chalk, you can see it on the bar too
>he's DLing 3pl8
>he does three reps and then stops
>spends like 15 minutes talking to this 10/10 stacy next to the rack who's been standing there the whole time doing nothing
>eventually he starts doing rows
>after he's done with his rows he starts DLing again
>the only words between him and stacy that I understood the whole time was her asking him "why?" really confusedly
>this just keeps going until after I leave the gym (keep in mind I came in after him and left before him)

This dude is on some revolutionary-as-fuck routine I guess

>>40980860
supersets are pretty common

and deadlifting in socks is better than in running shoes

>>40970263

>1 hour sauna

wtf

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>>40961881
fucking kek

>>40972016
This sounds amazing. Seconding this request.

>>40973891
Would kill to have my father exercise with me. Don't have nearly enough time to hang out with him anymore.

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>Standing next to my gf while she deadlifts
>I'mdone with my session, just doing some reverse flyes. I'm waiting for her to finish her workout basically.
>Enter "Wamoh"
>A buff dude with a trucker hat and a millitairy green shirt
>He just shouts out to my general direction
>"HEYO SPOT MY BENCH!"
>Slams his ass down on the bench
>I drop my 5 lbs dumbbells and walk over
>He unracks the bar to do some bench
>"How many reps are you aiming for?" I shout confused
>He can hardly speak because he is so strained from holding the bar
>"I DUNNO MAN MAYBE LIKE..."
>The bar goes down
>HHNGGGNGNG
>The bar is up again
>"THREE, FOUR MAYBE 5-HNHNGNGNNG"
>Another rep is forced
>Yet another
>The bar stays down on his chest
>"HNGNGNG"
>I help the bar up
>"ONE MORE!"
>the bar goes down, he is pinned again
>I really make an effort to uppright-row the bar
>Its up again
>"ONE MORE!"
>The bar goes down
>Oh shit he is so tired
>Yell to my GF to come help
>We pick the goddamn 365 lbs bar up from the ONE MORE! guy.
>His arms are finally straight
>"ONE MORE!"
>NOOOO me and my girl shout and row it back to the rack.
>"C'MON MAN, I COULD'VE DONE ONE MORE!"
>Yeah sure buddy
>Me and my girl exits the gym
>Hear "HEYO SPOT MY BENCH!", aimed at some other guy in the gym as we leave through the door.

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>>40981807

>>40980860
>>40979995
>>40976904
>>40974024
>>40973831

>forced to go to school even though i didnt feel well because my single mother is a bitch
>go to gym class
>doing situps
>qt3.14 i was partnered with was holding my feet down
>have a silent fart that wasn't too bad
>"do you smell that anon?"
>>"s-smell what?"
>go to do another situp
>BRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP

I've never felt such disgust from another human being since

>>40962614

OH MY GUT.. MUH SIDES.. MUH GUT.

>>40963892
Oh fuuuuuug. Sweden on suicide watch, fucking /pol/ crossposters

>>40965059
that's nothing, I can muscle snatch more than I snatch

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Lads, I'm doing GOMAD but I can't stop farting and taking diarrhea shits all over the place.

It's really ruining my image at the gym.

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>>40963997
>t.this guy

>>40982174
probably not a good idea to do GOMAD when you're lactose intolerant

>>40978424
Exactly man! FUck CHAD