What's the biggest, most viscous animal an optimum human

another "optimum human male"

/thread

>>40897494
Probably a medium doggo at best.

Doubt, their claws will still fuck a person up.

>>40897501
fuck you, you asshole

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>>40897517
>but they faggit

>>40897514
I could beat the shit out of a mastiff. poke its fucking eyes out...i'd get hurt but win

>be me
>living at 7500ft in the Rockies
>near some restaurants that had dumpsters
>sitting on my porch smoking a cig for about 5 minutes
>looked over and there's a medium sized bear 20ft away from me just standing there staring at me
>brix were shat
>we had a little staring contest and then the thing started walking toward me so I jumped up, had to jump over my motorcycle and slip inside
>all happened in a split second but as I was closing the door behind me the thing had taken a couple big steps and was RIGHT behind me
>turned around once I was inside i looked through the door and it was on my porch standing on it's hind legs beating it's chest taunting me
That thing moved so fucking fast and was so powerfully light on it's feet there's no way you can convince me anyone could take it, with or without claws

>>40897494
You have absolutely no chance without a weapon against a human sized animal that wants to kill you, barring a miracle. Even an enraged deer will fuck your shit up.

>>40897637
Grab it's genitals and pull with a jerking twisting motion.

>>40897648
sloth bears are border line retarded.

what the fuck is wrong with you people?

what happened to your self esteem?

i blame it on oestrogen in the water supply and third-wave feminism

>>40897494
>viscous

that doesn't mean what you think it means

>>40897494
>>40897539
those things are cute af, and you're an idot for anting to fight one. look how happy it is, best fucking bear ever.

>viscous

>>40897711
THICC

>>40897699
>grab balls exposing face
>thanks you for the handjob as it tears your other limbs off
In town they shot them with "less than lethal" shotgun rounds to scare them away from becoming dependent on the dumpsters, and I saw it happen one night and the thing didn't even blink an eye it's fur was so thick

>>40897706
They have to successfully defend themselves against tigers, rhinos, and elephants. It will fuck you up.

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>>40897730
I feel bad now

I reckon I could curb-stomp a wolverine instead

>>40897780
a mouse can scare of an elephant....you're a massive homosexula if you wouldn't fight a sloth bear to the death for any other reason than they're cute and probably don't deserve being hurt

>>40897789
it's okay friend. fight those little ratmole looking fucks, nothing good will come from them.

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>>40897637

>>40897834
Fuckin A

>>40897834
HIGH ENERGY

>>40897648
A deer? Bruh just grab its antlers and twist its simple

>>40897879
Grab it by the antlers then gouge its fucking eyes out.

This twat was drunk as fuck and escaped a crocodile attack by gouging its eye.... I reckon if he was sober and not australian he couldv'e killed it and turned it into a pair of boots.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4333054/Queensland-crocodile-teen-drank-goon-attack.html

fucking ozzies

>>40897834
ALPHA

AS

FUCK

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>>40897879
Tell me how youre going to fuck this deer up bruh im all (d)ears

>>40897494
>viscous
You should stop using spellchecker/autocorrect and learn how to actually spell the words you want to use.

>>40897834
>beat bear to death with stick (still impressive)
>better bite it's neck so I have a cooler story
As I said earlier I've seen them shot with 700fps lead-filled beanbags and they don't feel it through the fur

>>40897879
Most animals have retardedly strong necks and traps.

>>40897494
Naked and Bare handed? Not a lot

With a baseball bat, jeans and a leather jacket on to mitigate claw damage? A decent amount of mid-sized mammals. Biggest realistic threat would be a wolf or coyote or some shit and even that's risky as hel, better off trying to scare it away than fight to the death. Predators try to maximize gain and minimize risk, they have to eat every tucking day and potential injury, infection and death isn't worth it unless they're starving.

If you have a torch you can scare of most wild animals, they're not fans of fire.

I would be fucking terrified of being attacked by a large bird of prey like a falcon or an eagle, they go for the eyes and throat and dive at absurd speeds. I'd rather deal with a wild dog than a fucking 10 foot wingspan bullet with a hateboner for my eye sockets

This is why I don't go outside

>>40898078
>coyotes
>dangerous

you're obviously not from the southwest. I'm and avid hunter and hear stories about people being 'charges' by coyotes and collared peckaries.

Nigga no you were not. A javelina is the size of a medium doggo, and with 1/10th he killing power. Coyotes, with the exception of rabies, pose 0 danger units to an average adult male.

I recall reading about a buddhist monk who killed a tiger with his bare fists

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>>40897706
What the fuck did the sloth bear ever do to you, cunt?

Fuck all Bear-haters.

>>40897539
Sloth bear are fucking weird.

Like they are pretty small, pretty lightweight and all they eat ants all day but they have claws the size of monster grizzlies 6x their size. Not to mention when they get pissed they throw a great tantrum that not even a tiger could handle.


They're like one of those highschool loner autist kids who wear black hoodies all the time. People know he's a weirdo and doesnt really talk to him but wont say shit to his face in fear of him shooting up the whole school