Hey guys. I'm new here, moving in from /b/. I'm ready

Read the sticky you lazy piece of shit

>>40771805
stickyickyicky

>>40771805
take a vid of you doing 10 push ups (properly) and I'll buy you a gym membership for a year and your food for a year.

Buy a barbell with some plates

As for eating you could make up stews using a crockpot - stroganoff is a good option

Step 1: Read sticky
Step 2: Paleo is a meme. If your only goal is sheer weight loss, any caloric deficit diet will do.
Equipment is fine. I enjoy a good bout of HIIT on stationary bike. Just remember that you should cycle for twice as long as you would be running for. Seriously though, read the sticky. It's important

yeah, reqad the sticky. Also half an hour isn't long and the journey will be good cardio. The stationary bike would be alright but you may aswell just get a real bike

>I'm 5'11" 350lbs
>I can do 10 push ups properly,

Did you mean 250 pounds? Because at 350 you'd be a fucking sphere. How can you even do a Push Up when you can't lie flat on the ground?

>>40771825
>>40771827
What is the point of this board? Whenever someone makes a thread that's genuinely asking for help, you faggots say "muh sticky" like fucking idiots.

I did read the sticky. There's so much information there that it's intimidating. I just want short, simple step-by-step answers so I can't tell myself it's too hard.

>>40771856
Nigger the sticky IS short and simple. Look man, just go online, calculate your BMR(basal metabolic rate) and eat LESS than that every day. EZ PZ

Fuck off back to /b/

>>40771853
because getting in shape is hard fucking work, if someone can't even read a sticky that takes 10min, why should anyone waste their time on them?

>>40771805
get a real bike and hit the gym

>>40771856
1. EAT LESS FOOD
2. NO SUGAR, NO FLOUR, NO GRAINS
3. AT YOUR MASSIVE SIZE YOU'RE BETTER OFF JUST DIETING BECAUSE YOU LEGITIMATELY RISK HURTING YOURSELF
4. MAYBE GO ON WALKS/SWIMMING
5. AIM FOR 1800 CALORIES A DAY
6. DRINK LOTS OF WATER/COFFEE/TEA

Is that simple enough for you?

why is it that /b/tards never read the sticky

>>40771831
>>40771851
No, I mean 350. I'm a beast under all the fat. I was born fat and stayed that way, even when I lifted daily in high school. The lowest weight I could get to was 280.

I would do a video of push ups, but I can't post on here. I have the money for healthy food and gym membership, but the gym is too far away. When I say 30 minutes, I mean by car.

>>40771896
>no sugar, flour, grains
KEK

Decent shape.
Fat? No you're morbidly obese.
Pick one. Not both.

Because I was the same. A obese shit in "good shape", only I was on the cusp of death. I started paleo then moved on to keto because it got my binges under control.

>>40771896
All I eat now is meat, fruit and vegetables. I gave up soda 8 months ago. All I drink now is water and black coffee. I do walk daily, but not as much as I should. I am doing those things. Even at my massive size, my body can handle moderate exercise. I know how to exercise. I guess what I really need help with is making myself do it.

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>>40771918
At the very least selfie your belly on the cell phone, I want a timestamp too.

I want proof that you weigh as much as you do.

For crying out loud this is Artie Lange at 303 Pounds, and that guy's only an inch shorter than you.

>>40771936
please explain why that's bad advice.

>>40771953
Yes, I am morbidly obese. And I have smoked like a chimney since I was 12. However, compared to others in my condition, my body's holding up fairly well. Blood pressure's fine, not diabetic. Doctors say I'm generally healthy, just fat as fuck. Smoking's starting to take a toll on lung function though, mild asthma.

>>40771991
You're not going to find that anywhere but from yourself

You either want it or you don't

Good luck

>>40771896
>1. EAT LESS FOOD
>2. NO SUGAR, NO FLOUR, NO GRAINS
>3. AT YOUR MASSIVE SIZE YOU'RE BETTER OFF JUST DIETING BECAUSE YOU LEGITIMATELY RISK HURTING YOURSELF

op you should do these, but

>5. AIM FOR 1800 CALORIES A DAY

don't do this. do alternate day fasting instead.

day 1: eat nothing, drink water and black tea/coffee
day 2: eat slightly more than your TDEE

repeat and watch the weight drop off.

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>>40771805
shitbag

>>40772038
>morbidly obese
>generally healthy
if you cant admit that you are not healthy, go back to /b/, you wont make it

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>>40772007

>>40772087
holy fuck fatass

>>40772087
man threee inches make a real difference

>>40772067
Terrible advice in this thread, just follow the sticky op

>>40772067
>alternate day fasting

Fuck that. That's a terrible way to try and lose weight. Assuming you even stick with that you're just going to put it all back on when you go back to eating every day like a normal person, assuming it even works and you don't just shove twice as much food in to he says you can eat.

>>40772087
>generally healthy

My. Fucking. Sides.

>>40772087
Those are some sad looking man titties.

>>40772079
>>40772120
Besides being fat as fuck, please tell me what health problems I've got. I've been checked for everything. I'm not saying I'm healthy. I'm obviously not. I'm just saying, I'm not on the brink of death... yet. That's what I'm trying to avoid. That's why I'm here.

>>40772164
whatever you say delusional fat fuck

>>40772149
I know, they're quite saggy. When I was 14-16 I was over 400lbs. I got into drugs pretty hard and started lifting daily and got down to 280 by the time I was 18 and everything got saggy. After I stopped lifting a doing drugs I got back up to 350 and I've been there for a while now.

>>40772176
Please elaborate. What did the doctors miss?

>>40772204
>When I was 14-16 I was over 400lbs
good luck with your skin you disgusting fuck
have you read the fucking sticky yet?

>>40772018
Not him, but it's pretty solid advice. The reason people say to cut out sugar and grains is because that's primarily the diet of most people who are obese. If you can eat on a deficit and still throw sugar and grains in there, power to you. But a lot of people can't. I agree with you, friendo

>>40772217
Don't sweat them, OP. They like to use negativity as a motivator. They will continue to do so until you drop the weight. How's your BP and resting HR looking?

>>40772221
Yes I read the fucking sticky. I read the sticky before I made the thread. I read the sticky on every board that has one before I do anything else.

>>40772275
do you fucking count your fucking calories then you fat piece of shit?

>>40772270
BP's normally fine. Gets elevated when I'm pissed sometimes. Resting HR is a little on the high side sometimes. Anywhere from 60-85.

Anyway, to get back on point, you need to set a specific goal. Are you looking to lose weight, or get "in shape" to have more energy/run longer/lift more?

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>>40772067
I SO HEAVILY DISAGREE WITH THE CONCEPT OF FASTING DAYS. Keep that shit with religion when it comes to dieting that will just mess you up psychologically.

The best diet is the one you can stick with. When you fast you're creating physical discomfort and once you break the fast you naturally have the urge to overeat, so ultimately you're just negating any positive to your fast.

And at the end of the day it leads you to mentally believe that losing weight is a painful experience. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PAINFUL JUST STOP EATING THE FUCKING CARBS.

If OP just eats 2000 Calories a Day everyday (I say aim for 1800 because it's easy to underestimate calories) he'll lose weight rapidly. Here's an example of the diet I'd recommend.

>Breakfast
Cheese Omelette, Peppers, Tomatoes, Onions

>Lunch
Chicken, use Cajun Seasoning, Broccoli, Celery

>Dinner
Bunless Hamburger, essentially Beef, Cheese, Tomato, Onion, Garlic. Side can be Cauliflower.

Keto + Calorie Counting is great for fatties. It's the best way to keep your stomach full and yet still have a calorie deficit. You want excitement add hot peppers to the mix.

>>40772306
Not yet. My plan is to first change my fucking eating habits and learn to enjoy healthy food (what I'm currently doing). Then learn how to count the fucking calories

>>40772337
OP here, what's your opinion on adding a ketone supplement to jumpstart ketosis and give me more energy?

>>40772361
>learn to enjoy healthy food
do you like roast beef? and rice?

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why is everything i type considered as spam?

>>40772391
I think if you type vegan

and


gains next to each other it counts as spam.

>>40772387
How bout you just ignore that poster and count calories IIFYM. All you have to do is lose weight, not land on the moon. Just stop being fat

>>40772337
>I SO HEAVILY DISAGREE WITH THE CONCEPT OF FASTING DAYS. Keep that shit with religion when it comes to dieting that will just mess you up psychologically.
>The best diet is the one you can stick with. When you fast you're creating physical discomfort and once you break the fast you naturally have the urge to overeat, so ultimately you're just negating any positive to your fast.
>And at the end of the day it leads you to mentally believe that losing weight is a painful experience. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PAINFUL JUST STOP EATING THE FUCKING CARBS.

this is all nonsense. it's more sustainable than continuous calorie restriction, and there have been studies that people don't significantly overeat (i.e. to a degree that renders the fasting day useless) on feed days.

>>40772361
You're working backwards, my man. If you do that, you're going to increase the palatibility of food, but you're still going to be drawn to the bad shit because it tastes better every fucking time.

If you start counting calories and then move on to healthier food, you'll look at junk food as "that's more than my damn breakfast, and half of my lunch!", which will prompt you to find healthier alternatives.

>>40772329
My ultimate goal is to get in shape; leaner, faster, stronger, and energized. Weightloss is of coarse going to be part of that. I'm bad at setting/acheiving goals though. So my first goal would ideally be easy to achieve, while still having to put a little effort into it.

First and foremost, I want to have more energy and not feel like shit all the time.

Try going whole food vegan. Yes a lot of vegans are annoying morons and I overall dislike them, however whole food vegan diet is objectively the healthiest and best diet a human can eat.
Former fatty myself who had a lot of trouble loosing weight but whole food vegan diet allowed me to loose weight even though I never was hungry. I highly doubt you're very interested since it took me a couple of getting convinced over youtubers like Mic. the vegan to change but ever since I changed it was the best thing I have ever done.

I highly recommend if you want to make a major change to your life you should at-least look into it since its really helpful.

Start of by watching some of "Mic. the Vegan" Youtube videos. Good luck with loosing that weight!

>>40772405
HOLY SHIT YOU WERE RIGHT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. CHRIST IS HE SUCH A MEME ON THIS SITE THAT ITS BANNED NOW? LMAO

>>40772422
I disagree. Unless you have no social interaction, there is an expectation to eat, and that's going to throw off your fast days. It's much easier to eat 100 calories for breakfast, 500 for lunch, and 1200 for dinner, no snacks, no liquid calories.

>>40772463
>CHRIST IS HE SUCH A MEME ON THIS SITE THAT ITS BANNED NOW
yeah, he's a huge faggot

>>40772389
I do enjoy roast beef. I'm aiming to avoid basically all grains, rice, and carbs in general.
>>40772423
I see your point there. How exactly do I get started counting calories? Should I invest in a scale and get super precise with it, or just kind of estimate?

>>40771805
eating normal person sized portions of food
not eating snacks
in your case swimming would be best exercise
impossible you wont lose weight doing these 3 simple steps

>>40772454
Yoga, that's the best thing. Next best thing is swimming. The best thing you can do for yourself is find a yoga studio, martial art or any other group fitness activity that will actually work you out. None of that "no sweat exercise" garbage.
Right now you are more than 10 times to die of a heart attack and develop obesity. The sheer stress on your joints aswell. Your could slip a disk any moment now, guaranteed you have a kyphotic spine. Every 5 pounds of fat is 15 pounds on your knees. Higher risk of developing cancer from being obese. Probably really deficient in vitamins like C, D and E.
Higher E2 levels will make you a bitch, you more than likely will have severe ED when your older. I mean aren't the feelings when you walk out in public enough? You probably smell fucking terrible and frequent Walmart before your video game nights like a pig.

>>40772463
I've considered this, but I just like meat too much. I am doing a whole food diet though, and shooting for 3 vegan meals a week.

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>>40772454
You have to be grateful for the hunger Op, the pain means progress. You could have her in a year, man!
I have a girl just like this as my backroud, not just because I want her. It's because I want the life she comes with man. You should to. Start reading books, be the best version of yourself dude.

>>40772546
You have to count calories OP. Don't even log it or have a goal at first.
Seriously bro, just watch this shit.
https://youtu.be/8svuSIYQu74
He was 700 pounds, complete neet and weighs 180 now. It's such an awesome documentary done by bodybuilding.com

>>40772534
>Right now you are more than 10 times to die of a heart attack and develop obesity
>The sheer stress on your joints aswell.
>Your could slip a disk any moment now
>Every 5 pounds of fat is 15 pounds on your knees.
Jesus christ anon, you are in no position to be posting advice, probably not even posting at all

>>40772534
It's winter dude, Not exactly swimming weather. I live in the middle of nowhere, there are no gyms within 20miles, no yoga/martial arts studios within 35 miles. I eat my fruits and veggies and take a multi vitamin. I shower daily and wear deodorant and ask people to make sure I dont stink. The only places with fatty stink are the deep crevices that stay sealed up. I don't play video games, never really have. I work full time. I only go to walmart to buy foods that the local grocery store doesn't carry, underwear, and cleaning products.

>>40772387
I've never tried it and I don't think it's necessary.

I'm not a dieting expert by any means I'm just a fellow traveller that can tell you what worked for me. I recommend a Keto inspired diet because I found it was the most reasonable one for my lifestyle. I bought the Ketoisis Test Strips that you pee on and some days I'd heavily be in Ketosis other times I wasn't, because stuff like Carrots are enough to take you out of Ketosis.

At the end of the day Calories are what matter the most, if you eat a whole Roasted Chicken and a ton of nuts (which I've done) you're not going to lose weight because you've eaten a ton of food (duh).

I say Keto is great purely because I think its the best way to eat a smaller amount of food while still feeling full. I can eat Bananas all day but I can only eat so many eggs before I feel content.

Just download MyFitnessPal and start counting, it'll say your target is something like 2300 if you stay under that you'll be doing very well. Buy a scale and when in doubt overestimate the caloric content of the food. Maybe Keto isn't for you I don't know but you need to start now or seriously consider Gastric Bypass, I hate to sound dramatic but at your weight I'd be shocked if you're not already Diabetic.

>>40772422
Hey maybe you're right but I think when you're dieting on your own you need to be able to feel comfortable while dieting. Fasting fucking sucks and puts you in a shitty mood. When you're in that shitty mood you do stupid things like saying "Fuck dieting I want some McDonalds!"

Fasting never kept me on a diet for long. But hey if it works for OP then he should do it. For me it was just needless exhausting. Sometimes I only eat a scant 1000 Calories and that works. No food at all is horrible.

>>40772546
Great if you considered it! 3 vegan meals a week is honestly a great start if you wanna become as healthy as possible. As long its actual vegan meals and not like having cereal with non diary milk as breakfast and call it a vegan meal.

Also when you're eating meat just keep reminding yourself that its a unhealthy food and you eat it for taste. This way overtime you will most likely start to like it less and less :)

Also EAT YOUR VEGGIES!! Even if you are one of those who almost pukes by having a broccoli in your mouth try eating at least 10-20 gram of veggies everyday just to make your taste buds adjust.

>>40772601
I will be watching this, bookmarking for later this evening. Thanks anon.

>>40772606
Yeah you got me. 230, never do cardio. Only lift. Running DNP and an AI next week because fuck it, I'll weigh 190 in a month.

>>40772454
>>40772454
If you're looking for energy, exercise will do it. I'd suggest cardio of some sort. Find some series of tv or whatever and watch an episode or two while you work out. Won't help your weight problem, but you should feel better.

The important thing is to set something attainable and go from there. If you can go intense for a few minutes, do that interspaced with an easy rate, and gradually rebelance.

You'll also feel better if you start losing weight though. Plan your calories. I do 100 calories for breakfast, 500 for lunch, and 1200 for dinner, with a 100-700 calorie slippage in there if I order too much or need an afternoon snack. Make a habit of looking up the calories for everything you eat. Even if you're not sticking to a budget, being aware does huge amounts for knowing what you're eating, and builds you up from "eating packaged food is easy because the calories are right there on the package" to actually planning a dish because you start seeing how many calories are in sauces and buns and all that.

I'm not sure I'd suggest both losing weight and exercising at once though. Exercise will make you hungry, which makes cutting calories that much more difficult, although you should still be aware. Important thing is to develop a plan with attainable steps that you can build upon and tracking your progress.

>>40772656
It's nobodies fault your fat but you have to take responsibility for it. I know how it is, feeling too far gone. But it's easier when you have a life, friends and a GF for support. It's won't even take long. Think of the progress you'd make in 3 months of consistent dieting. You'd be lying to yourself if you said you couldn't follow a diet for 3 months.

>>40771853
Because the sticky answers all of those questions for you.

as for crockpot, buy a bag of frozen chicken, add a marinade turn it on and forget aobut it for 6 hours, literally the easiest thing in the world.

>>40772649
I do enjoy my veggies. I like all foods really. I've always eaten a lot of healthy food, with a lot of unhealthy food piled on top. Soda was the hardest to give up, but I haven't had any since the beginning of August last year. Last week I cut out almost all unhealthy foods, but I've slipped up a couple times. Had a Shamrock shake on St. Patty's day, and my client (I work with mentally retarded people) wanted to go out for chinese yesterday.

>>40772649
Question Mr. Vegan, are you just CONSTANTLY eating food all day or do you rely on the few Fatty Plant Based foods like Avocados for energy?

One whole pound of Brocoli is a mere 150 Calories. Ain't no body got time for that except Panda Bears.

>>40772767
>Panda bears are the only omnivores besides human to adopt vegetarian habits

>Are literally killing themselves out of sheer lazyness

you move vegfags.

>>40772639
how long did you try it for?

most people are surprised by how quickly it becomes easy.

>>40772717
The sticky is utter shit filled with retardation and 404'd links and there's a 99.9% chance that you like every idiot who says to read the sticky has actually only glanced at it.

>>40772699
I think about that all the time. Over the past year I've made a few feele attempts at changing my life. Thinking back on it, I'm like "fuck, if I would have just done it, I'd be half way to healthy by now". It both motivates me to make the change, and makes me depressed because I feel like I'll never actually do it.

>>40772519
I wouldn't worry about a scale for food, it's mostly about being aware of stuff like ranch dressing having 73 calories per tablespoon, so 4 tablespoons (2 scoops) of ranch from a salad bar is fucking 300 calories. You start tossing in croutons, sunflower seeds, bacon bits and all the other shit that makes salad taste good and you realize that "healthy" salad is 1000+ calories.

Really it's more about getting a general idea, googling anything you can't read the calories on, and then planning your meals around a budget. Like I do 500 calories for lunch, so that's either a sushi roll from the grocery store, a KFC go cup, or 3 Taco Bell tacos. (get used to ordering water. Feels weird at first but soon you'll realize what a scam it is that soda is pushed so fucking hard)

>>40771918
Run 3 times a week
you can follow a couch to 5k program you'll be losing weight like crazy.

>>40771805
>10 good form pushups
>350lb fat


I have doubts beyond comprehension.

>>40772087
>I'm a beast under all the fat
>can do "pushups"
>that pic
You can't make this shit up

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>>40772808
>ordering water feels weird

>>40772829
Yeah, fuckin tell me about it.

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>>40772639
How about if you just be my fitness pal?

>>40772818
If I could prove it to you, I would anon. I have impressed everybody that ever saw me do it. I'm a beast, just a horrendously fat beast.

>>40772788
Fasting? Well at one point I tried the Juice Fasting Meme (thanks Cernovich https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcXC9o9mRdg) and the one positive I can say it made my skin look really good. After I shave off my final 20 pounds I definitely want to reintroduce Carrot Juice to my diet for that reason alone.

Long ago I did try a fasting day (plan was no food on Saturday) and as I said it just made me miserable. I don't know I think if I wanted to I could do a One Meal A Day style diet but man 24 hours without any food period just feels like punishment.

And I just don't think it makes sense to punish yourself while dieting. Ideally (in a sense at least) I think your weight loss diet should be very similar to the diet you want to keep once you've lost the weight. I can wake up happy to eat some sausage and eggs, I can't help but feel pissy if I only get to drink coffee.

As I said before some days I do eat very lightly (less than 1000 KCAL) and I'm good with that. I just can't imagine there being much more of a benefit if I ate nothing.

>>40772906
Being so fat that your arms barely reach the ground when you lie on your stomach doesn't count as a pushup, Anon.

>>40772820
believe it or don't. That's up to you. I got strong in the gym. I do enough physical activity to maintain muscle mass, but not enough, nor the right kind, to lose weight.

>>40772907
>I just can't imagine there being much more of a benefit if I ate nothing.

you'd be surprised

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F5o0a4p_3U

>>40772929
I seriously want to see you do 10 pushups.

When I was 270 I couldn't even do 2.

>>40772699
>It's nobodies fault your fat

Oh I disagree. Parents are fucking awful at teaching their kids how to eat, and schools don't teach basic calorie counting and fill their lunches with calorie dense garbage, all right next to a corn syrup vending machine. Become an adult, and the rest of your life is the same damn shit where you have to go out of your way to not fall in to the heavily advertised, readily available, habit forming, super cheap world of shit-food.

God bless America.

>>40772318
>60-85.
How did no one catch onto this shit?

I do not believe for one second that your heart rate is ever 60. That is insane for the amount of weight you're carrying around. Mostly because you don't do any fucking exercise. How did you come to this conclusion? Because either you're lying to yourself, to us or I'm a stupid retard. I don't hasten to think the last

>>40773120
I was 270 a year and a half ago and when I went to the clinic to get my ears flushed from impacted wax my heartrate was 63. It stunned the nurse who took it, but it's definitely possible.

>>40773135
And now you're 350. Do you honestly still believe you have that HR? Because if you do, congratulations. You can, in theory, run half a marathon, if your muscles and joints could take it. You have one of the strongest hearts I have ever encountered. Which is to say, the likely hood that you are lying is far greater than the reality of a 60 resting HR at 350.

It's fucking insane for a 350 who does no cardio at all

I am very skeptical.

>>40773180
I'm not him, I probably should have clarified.

I weigh 185 now, still cutting but I'm almost there and I still do no cardio because my asthma makes it impossible.

>>40773180
Nurse may have fucked up. They don't give a shit. Kind of a moot point anyway since we know OP has issues with his image of how healthy he is. Not like getting him to admit his HR is different really fixes anything.

Gas mask tire flips
Rope climbing
Running through tough terrain
River Crossing
Carrying ammo tins

>>40773180
OP here
>>40773135
Wasn't me. There's a blood pressure and heart rate machine where I work. I check my vitals at least once a week.

>>40772767
You don´t eat veggies for the calories, you eat it for feeling more full, taste and all the vitamins.

For calories we have things like apples, bananas, pasta, sweet potatoes, oats ETC. You need very little fat on a vegan diet, about 5-10% of your calories should come from fat. You get that easily from 2-6 tablespoons of seeds which you can have on your oats.

>>40772781
Well humans are herbivores that have adopted meat eating habits. And what that has resulted in is a shit ton of heart disease, alzheimer and diabetes which essentially is killing us too.

>>40773250
So you have measured your heart rate to be 60?
Because that is insane, dude. That is in the top bracket far as heart genetics go. if you ever have 60 HR, at your work, while at 350, then you would be a god if you lost your weight and started doing cardio.

Probability dictates that you're likely lying. Especially considering you delivered that 10 push ups line (which you could easily verify with video)

>>40773262
>And what that has resulted in is a shit ton of heart disease, alzheimer and diabetes which essentially is killing us too.
Could you please post some citations for this?

>>40771805
MyFitnessPal

It's an app for phones to help you track calories. Buy a 10 dollar food scale at walmart. Buy 10 pounds of frozen chicken for 20 bucks at costco and get vegetables. Buy black beans or red beans and that will be your main source of carbohydrate along with brown rice. Do 20 minutes of cardio a day at 60% hrr using karvonen formula. ---> take 220-age. Take your resting heart rate. Add 60% of 220-age to resting heart rate and thats the heart rate you should be around when doing cardio. Eat at a caloric defocot of 500 calories or more up to 25% of your tdee(total daily energy expensiture) use an online calculator to figure it out.

>>40773262
>Well humans are herbivores that have adopted meat eating habits.
Empirically false, african monkeys (our closest relative from a common ancestor) have been observed eating meat

>>40771805
READ THE FUCKING STICKY, YOU IDIOT.
IT'S WHY IT EXISTS, FOR PEOPLE WITH VERY BASIC QUESTIONS LIKE YOURS. SO FUCKING USE IT.

Kindly regards, your friend, anonymous

>>40773295
Pretty sure the diabetes is because we put fucking corn syrup in everything, unless you're suggesting eating meat causes enough genetic damage to have caused the emergence of Type 1.

Op here again. Why do you all find it so hard to believe that I'm not on the brink of death? Maybe if I was I'd be more eager to lose some weight. Did you all miss that I'm only 22 and do incorporate some physical activity in my life? Have none of you ever heard of strong fat people? I work, I walk, I do various outdoor activities, I do some heavy lifting (other than getting off the couch), I eat real food, I take my vitamins, I don't play video games, I don't drink soda or sugary beverages. Shit, I even get laid sometimes. I'm not completely a lazy piece of shit, I'm just fat.

>>40773310
Observed by whom? Liars? False witnesses? The blind?

>>40773336
Jane Goodall.

One of the most respected primatologists ever.

>>40773328
Because it all sounds like bullshit from a delusional fat man. post a video of you doing 10 push ups, please. And that whole shebang about your 60 HR is bullshit, most assuredly.
It does not compute for one so fat as you. And you cannot blame us for not believing such outlandish claims. If it's the case that you speak the truth, then good for you. Fuck off, and lose your weight.

Beyond this, read the sticky, you moron. Why the fuck did you neglect to do so? It's has all the fucking answers you need, but you're apparently as intellectually lazy as you are gluttonous.

>>40773328
If you're so strong fat what's your bench/squats/DLs.

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>>40771805
if you have money for a piece of equipment, you have enough money to join the gym. that half hour walk sounds like it'll be good for you and you can reflect on why you're going to the gym.
with the crockpot you can make chicken, greens, veggies, just about anything. granted it'll all be cooked the same but oh well.
the sticky should have routines for you.

>>40773250
Youre still young. Being fat kills you later in life. The heart attacks will start in your 40's.

t. Nurse on a telemetry ward

>>40773369
>Jane Goodall.
Jane Goodall is a notorious liar. She would disappear for a while and then come back and say "Hey everyone! I lived with the (insert primate) for a year! Guess what? They hang their laundry and masturbate just like humans!" Of course while she was "gone" a mysterious feminine gentleman with a handlebar moustache would go around town loudly talking about Jane Goodall and asking people what they thought of her.

>>40771805
Intermittent fasting (16 hours straight of fasting a day) and eating under TDEE, plus light cardio until you're below 300, then start to worry about doing more intense exercise.

>>40771805
If youre trying to be overall healthier, cut back on your consumption of meat and eggs. This will bring your cholesterol levels down. When you do eat meat, stick to small portions of chicken, turkey, or fish. If youre hungry, fill the fuck up on veggies before you eat more calorie dense foods. Also, big tip here, track your diet religiously at least for a few days using something like Myfitnesspal so you know what your calorie goal is like with proper macros.

>>40773278
I came here to ask for advice on losing weight. I'm explaining my current conditions and abilities because I thought that may be of use to you guys when telling me what I could do better. I have no reason to lie. I don't even know what a normal heart rate is. Lying would be counterproductive to my cause, as I am legitimately ready to improve my life. Lying to anonymous strangers would not help me. Where can I post a video of me doing push ups? I'll do it in the next day or two and make a new thread. I don't know why this is so unbelievable.

>>40773262
>Well humans are herbivores that have adopted meat eating habits.

are you serious? do you know how long ago we adopted regular meat eating habits? eating meat and the excess calories is what contributed to the decrease in size of our whole GI system and increased the size of our grey matter. it's one of the main reasons why we evolved such rich minds. we evolved afterwards towards more meat eating. your argument could possibly work if it was against agriculture, since we have yet the time to fully evolve to eat foods produced this way, but we evolved for tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of years after discovering fire and learning how to cook meat. i bet you haven't stepped in a classroom since fucking highschool jesus christ why do idiots post on this board.

>>40773422
Tinfoil as fuck, but as long as it fits your narrative right?

>>40773392
That's 30 minutes by car anon. It's 20 miles away.

>>40773328
This is /fit/. Predicating anything on "I'm pretty healthy but..." is just inviting derision. Welcome to 4chan. Don't worry about it, focus on what YOU need to do with the snippets of wisdom you can sort out of the shit.

>>40773448
>I came here to ask for advice on losing weight
No you didn't. Because then you would read the fucking sticky, you lazy piece of shit.
>I'm explaining my current conditions and abilities because I thought that may be of use to you guys when telling me what I could do better.
Which include claims that are very hard to believe.
>I have no reason to lie.
You'd be surprised. Estating is a thing on, you should remember. Your reason to lie would be to shelter your own ego. People will silly things to convince themselves of things.
>I don't even know what a normal heart rate is.
That much is obvious.
>as I am legitimately ready to improve my life
Then you would read the fucking sticky, you idiot.
>Where can I post a video of me doing push ups?
Right here. If you do, I would gladly eat my own words with dressing on top.
>I'll do it in the next day or two and make a new thread.
Bullshit. Why not right now?
>I don't know why this is so unbelievable.
BECAUSE YOU MAKE OUTLANDISH CLAIMS. For people who actually exercise, your self assessed status of your health reeks of horse shit.

Leave this thread. Read the sticky. Lose your weight

>>40773465
yeah i can't believe this board right now. i don't care one increment whether or not jane goodall did ANYTHING she claimed to. this guy is seriously stating that her claims of witnessing primates eating meat is unheard of. holy shit. you can watch videos of primates eating meat anywhere you want, they supplement their diets with meat whenever they choose, at their fucking monkey whims. seriously how stupid are people on this board?

>>40773465
>what is google
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Badall
here's a little help, the wikipedia article for Jane Goodall's alter ego. he became quite a local celebrity and kind of an inside joke that everyone knew, except she didn't know they knew. surprised you were never taught this quirky bit of history and insist on speaking down to everyone about the "legitimate" primatologist Jane Goodall. she still does interviews and brings him up with a sly smile as if it's her little secret.

>>40773328
>I don't play video games
Paragon of health right there.

>>40773377
I didn't know my claims were outlandish. I haven't done any research on what fat people are supposed to be able to do. I only know what my vital signs and abilities are. I came for advice, not to be told what I'm already doing is impossible.

>>40773384
I couldn't tell you currently. I haven't been to the gym in 4+ years.

>>40773541
Read the fucking sticky. Jesus Christ, how many times do I need to tell you this. Leave the thread. Read the sticky. lose your weight.
It's a very basic thing to lose weight. The sticky tells you exactly how. Read it

>>40773310
"Monkeys" are not our closest relative. Your broad point is correct but come on, don't be a fool.

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>>40773556
Read this you motherfucker

>>40773418
That's what I'm trying to avoid. I've gotten some good advice here, but most of these guys are more concerned with my apparently "outlandish" claims

>>40773529
>linking to a wikipedia article that doesn't even exist
lol

>>40773514
Yeah it's pretty delusional in here right now, with FatsMc10pushups and a science denier

>>40773571
No

>>40773569
You're right, I should have said apes

>>40773578
>science
lol
pretty much all of science is people saying they're out "doing experiements" and while they're gone, a badly-disguised opposite-sex "stranger" comes to town asking everyone what they think about the "scientist" who's out "doing" "experiments." it's all a sham by attention-whoring insecure narcissists.

>>40773623
yes, all science, all observations, all studies are false. they have an agenda, don't listen to them. i seriously wonder what kind of person makes claims like this. did a scientist touch you inappropriately while you were on an expedition in the jungle anon?

>>40773623
Are you the guy who claimed that meat caused the emergence of all sorts of diseases? Because if you are, you still haven't posted any citations for your assertions. I think that's because you don't have any, which means you're full of shit

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>>40773676
>I think that's because you don't have any
Why would he cite studies? He thinks all science is a sham.

Disregard that they don't exist, he won't even look for them

>>40772405
I've been watching his videos since before I started coming on this board, and I always wondered why there weren't any people talking about him. That explains it.

>>40773510
>>40773556
How many times do I have to tell you, I READ THE FUCKING STICKY. I came for any supplemental advice. I can't post a video right now because I don't have internet at my apartment, I'm using data on my phone. I don't know how to convert a video to a .webm on my phone, I imagine it would require an app that I'm not going to waste the data and wait 2 hours for it to download. I don't have an ego worth sheltering. Ny self esteem is virtually non existent. I know I'm a fatass and that it's not healthy. I'm not completely retarded. I'm done defending my point until I'm able to post proof, as I realize how useless this battle is. I'll just take the advice that HELPFUL anons give for now.

>>40773711
>I always wondered why there weren't any people talking about him
because he's a faggot.

>>40773642
i'll ignore your rude supposition, but yes, all scientific observations and conclusions only exist because the people who wanted to find out what everyone really thought of them had to make up a reason why they left town in the first place. isaac newton had really bad halitosis and he wanted to find out if everyone in town talked about it, so he dressed up as a japanese woman and hid his smelly mouth behind a fan and asked if people knew about isaac newton and what his breath was like. when he dressed back up as himself and people asked where he was he was like "uhh... the thing that makes us fall on the ground is called gravity now." then later when he was trying to find out if people thought he was "fruity," he made up something called "calculus" to explain where he was when that french woman who looked like him came to town. it's all bullshit.

>>40772961
i couldnt do 1 at 190 6´1 get on my level

>>40771805
>any advice on what to eat
less. you cannot go wrong as long as you eat less than maintenance. at 350lbs I'm not worried about macros and micros, I'm worried about the psychological issues that led to you giving up on life and how we can fix those.

>>40771918
>30 minutes by car
>too far
Muh nigga choose one.
I drive 30 minutes to the gym every day. You're literally sitting on your arse, what's the problem?

>>40773744
OP here. I'm not going to whine about my psychological issues, but rest assured that there are plenty. I gave up on life at as a young child. I'm tired of being a miserable piece of shit though and I'm ready to change.

>>40773623
kek what

>>40773757
I have trouble talking myself into going. After the 30 minute drive, I've decided to go to McDonald's instead.

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>>40773719
dammit anon you... you rascal.

>>40773757
this, there are even closer gyms to me, it's just the one I use isn't in the ghetto and is like 18 dollars a month

>>40773810
finally! thank you! that was exhausting.

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I lost around 130kg. Let me give you a simple guide that works for almost everyone who is not a retard fuck.

>download myfitnesspal or lifesum
>start eating 3 times a day try to do it on the same time everyday (will greatly help you to get more energy)
>more protein and less fat
>more vegetables and less meat and sugar
>start walking every day. Firstly only 20 min but increase the walk everyday for another 5min until you are at 40min.
>start running for 10 seconds and then walking for 1 minute (download "couch to 5k")
>http://www.startbodyweight.com/

No cheatdays. I would also recommend if you sit less besides your pc. You will get bored and start walking/running just because of that. Its a good motivation if you just walk away from your computer. Less facebook and any other social media.

Consider implementing swimming at least 1x week

I've been here for years binge reading every stupid diet people come up with. "Paleo, Fasting, Keto" it all works as long as you have a coloric restriction. But you will most certainly not get every micro with these diets. And they are not for your whole life. The best way is to eat clean and just like a said more vegetables. Vegetables are the best you can do for your body.

Also get a Vitamin D3 supplement if you don't live in a state with sunshine everyday. Inform yourself about micronutrients.

Also remember this is a life change.

Good luck soldier.

>>40773878
Sounds like solid advice anon. Thanks.

>>40773780
good. I've been in your shoes and I lived too long without a care for my body and health. I hope you turn it around, but you have to be in it for the long haul. This is not a 1 month, 1 year, or even 10 year goal. This is supposed to be a permanent lifestyle change. It will take probably 3 years for you to start having a decent body, but better late than never. You owe it to yourself to be healthy and look good.

>>40771856
>Wants to do a major lifestyle change
>Doesnt bother to read the sticky for 15 minutes.

My dude, you'd better change your attitude because I see you quitting in 3 weeks after seeing no immediate results.

>>40774157
>not getting immediate results
>bothering to continue
you must be joking.

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>>40774157
>roommate comes home sweaty and breathing heavy
>ask him what he was doing
>he says he's going to start running every day
>tell him that he'll fail
>he manages 3 days before giving up completely

>>40774191
Way to be supportive.

Don't consume:
>soda
>alcohol
>added sugar or high fructuse corn syrup
>anything fried
>hydrogenated oils
>bread or anything breaded
>juice
>anything prepared with a microwave
I probably forgot a few things but whatever..
Also, don't drop to 1800 calories like that one guy said. 2500 is probably good for you to start off. Trying to do too much at first will only position you for a relapse. I hope this helps.

>>40774241
Also forgot to mention. After eating healthy for a little while. Your heart rate will go down dramatically and you'll feel a ton better

Why even mention you're from b

Also there's a fat general.

>>40774232
He's an adult, nobody encouraged me to go on a strict diet and lose a ton of weight and nobody held my hand.

In fact, he made fun of me while I was doing it by saying shit like "haha I bet you wish you could eat a corndog and some of this macaroni... MMMMMM IT'S SO GOOD" as he shoveled 4 corndogs and a box of mac&cheese down his throat.

>>40774325
impressive enough he could fit 4 corndogs and a full box in his mouth at once, let alone being able to speak at the same time. only other person i ever saw accomplish that feat was your mother.

>>40774232
Deciding to suddenly run everyday is a stupid move. It's too much of a change in such a quick burst. Besides which, it's not even all that good for you. You need days to rest

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>>40774387

>>40773607
Ook!

>>40771805
>How do i get fired up
Nigger if you have to ask that youve got some problems already. I was roughly 300lbs from 16 till i was 23 and one day i got a signal in my brain essentially saying" dude you cant be this fucking fat anymore" and so as i was a neet, i just used that to my advantage and just ate small small meals in between games of dota. Then i found out the theraputic benefits of weight lifting and found out "whoa i get a bit of a high from lifting weights" i gain weight back and forth but i havent ever gotten close (knock on wood) to my original weight.

>>40774460
Oh btw i went from a size 46 to a size 34 to 36 pant size

>>40774460
What kind of wood are you knocking on? An erect penis? Hot.

>>40774479
I went from a 44 to a 32, and they're falling off me now.

The weirdest one for me was my elastic boxers had a few loose inches.

>>40774574
>a few loose inches
sounds like what you'd find inside your boxers.

>>40771805
Nice blobmode pic, got more?

>>40775297
No, just googled "fatty" to find a good picture for the thread.

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>>40774905
emphasis on "few"

>>40773295
Since i´m lazy I will just link a few youtube videos who has legit references (check description)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VubRDVdPKyU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qczRzcqxoIo&t
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=390qtST0SIA

>>40773310
Who also probably adopted meat eating habits. Do you honestly think if our bodies was meant to eat meat we`d get shit like atherosclerosis from eating meat? Yes we can eat meat, we have eaten but BUT that does not mean its fucking healthy.

>>40773452
We also eat insects which helped us evolve a lot too. And so what if meat were a primary cause for our brains to evolve? The reason we evolved because of meat was because we discovered a way to get very calorie dense food thus making it an easy task to overeat. There is no magical thing about meat that makes you smart and you`re retarded if you think that.
And again, WHY would ge get so many health problems from eating meat if our body was made to eat it? Just because it was something good to do for thousands of years ago does not mean its good today. Thats a retarded fucking way of thinking.

>>40773676
Sorry for posting late, was out training. Also dont give me that shit with "vegan biased hurr durr" no shut up look at the studies.

>>40774241
I suggest 1800 because it gives leeway to go over.

>>40776968
>Do you honestly think if our bodies was meant to eat meat we`d get shit like atherosclerosis from eating meat?
look into the diet and dental health of the inhabitants of Easter Island

They ate almost exclusively fruit and had a much higher incidence of tooth-decay and dental related deaths.
Do you honestly think if our bodies were meant to eat fruit our teeth would rot out from eating it?
You're a moron

>>40771886
this
not gonna make it

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>>40771805
read the sticky
tldr
get the stronglifts 5x5 app
get a gym membership
eat at a caloric deficit
get some sunshine, it's good for you

Cardio and good diet. Buy a stationary bike and run then spend the rest of money on the thing known as vegtables. Cut soda and sugary drinks. Drink a gallon of water throughout the day. Stick with it and youll lose weight. Why do people think theres some magic way to lose weight? Its science. energy in energy out. the more energy you exert the more fat you burn. Do the hard work and nut up.

>>40777012
okay, did not find much about dental related deaths I did however find they were eating rats. Also its very hard to determine exactly what they were eating, and if they were eating rats they were most likely eating a lot of weird shit. Also look into other cultures that had a plant based diet they did not have the same problems as those on Easter Island. Also can you fucking compare the huge number of people dying of heart disease in the world to a slightly higher chance of having dental problems?

>>40777012
Did not mean to type "slightly higher chance" meant to type higher chance. JUST SO you don`t flame on that part

Hey OP here is some advice

I Hate You and hope you die soon

>>40772087
Holy fucking tits batman

download an app for counting calories, like myfitnesspal or fatsecret. start logging everything you eat and drink. its ok if you go over your daily limit, record it anyway, absolutely everything down to the tiny things. this will help you track how much you are eating. you are almost certainly eating more than you think. its ok, so are most ppl.
looks like you have TDEE of around 3500, so basically as long as you eat less than this in a day you should lose weight. but aim for maybe 2000-2500 to start with.
start drinking some nice fruit teas (no sugar) when you're hungry, or water. no soda! i usually like to make a big jug of tea and drink it slowly when i come home from work.
right now, you need to focus on eating fewer calories. dont worry too much about nutrition etc for now, the most important thing is eating less.
often, when you feel hungry, you are just thirsty.
some light exercise would be helpful if you can manage. brisk walking is better than running for a heavier guy to start off with. dont strain yourself, but light walking is great.
start weighing yourself every day and record it in your app. its very motivational to watch the numbers gradually going down, and it will help you stay motivated

>>40777486
(continued)
nutrition isnt as important right now for you so much as just cutting calories, so feeling full helps.
good, filling low-calorie menu items:
>porridge
>beans
>green veggies
>water
>tea/plain coffee
>home-made vegetable soup
>egg whites
>rice cakes
>pickles
>apples and some other fruits like berries
>crushed ice
for a treat, frozen fruit or frozen low-calorie yoghurt is nice. you are allowed to have a diet soda or non-alcoholic beer occasionally, as a treat ONLY.
items to avoid:
>alcohol
>soda/fruit juice/coffee(other than plain black)
>bread
>fatty meats
>seeds
>excessive dairy
>potatoes
>pasta
>mayonnaise/ketchup/ranch etc, most sauces
>takeaway/restaurant/cafe food
>fried shit
>most carbs
>nuts inc. peanut button
>any boxed/prepackaged """salads""" (croutons, meat, dressing etc make them full of calories
>granola/cereal bars
>most prepackaged shit

try to cook for urself as much as possible, that way you can see whats inside the food.
and good luck man, you can do this!

>>40772164
The stress on your body is what is unhealthy, joint issues, heart issues, you already said lung issues starting to appear, if you gave up soda and blood work says fine maybe your kidneys/liver are amazingly not horrible but they'd have fat around them which is really fucking bad. I seriously doubt you can do even basic things like pick something off the ground, tie your shoe laces, walk more than 500m without breathing heavily. I am skeptical of blood pressure/resting heart rate being anything other than awful, your vo2 would be atrocious. Basically mate as you look now you are little more than a sack of fat storage attached to a digestive track. You are incapable of basic human functions. Credit for wanting the change, but you got a lot of work ahead of you.

Don't run yet, you'll fuck your knees/back. Just change diet and try to walk a bit 3 times a week, 30mins, easy pace. Drop at least 50kg from diet changes before you do anything cardio intensive. Come back when you've dropped weight from diet changes (not complex, just eat less than the bucket of kfc every meal you seem to have now) and we'll help you worry about exercise then

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>>40771805
Do you work? Chances are, there's a gym close to your workplace. You could sign up for a membership and go right before or after work 3-4 days a week. Just make it part of your routine. If you're wondering about a closer gym, I just literally searched up "gyms near me" and found 3 in my town. One across the street from my apartment (which I am a member of) and another 2 a few miles away. If you have a shitty landlord and want to live closer to a gym, why not move?

Don't buy an elliptical or stationary bike unless you're absolutely sure you're going to use it and not just tuck it away. Seriously, go for walks. Walk for an hour at a time each and every day. Make it interesting by listening to music or podcasts or something.

Cooking-wise? listen to other people here, get a slow cooker. You have no idea how versatile those fuckers are. I use mine every week since I picked one up. Chili, chicken, pulled pork, stew...

But seriously, read the sticky. It provides so much information to guys like you who are just starting out. Or you can just pretend to lift and get /fit/ and just shitpost on feels threads.

>>40778236
I doubt he works, probably on disability or something.


You're a fucking idiot OP. Read the sticky and stop making excuses for your terrible choices.

>>40772038
Fucking dumbass, typical b poster.
You don't get fucking asthma from smoking, you're developing fucking emphysema.
You've fucked ur lungs for life...

>>40771805

read the fucking sticky you lazy cuck

still waiting to see those ten proper pushups
youre a beast bro, right?

>>40773623
Lmfao

Jesus, I can't imagine why anyone over the age of 14 would use /b/.