Alright /fit/ what exercises should I do to get a grade-A boypucci.

>>40565303
Don't care about you, just wanted to say that is a handsome snek.

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>>40566162
It IS a very handsome snek

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>>40567405
This is now a snek thread.

>Mfw I see a garden sneklet walk up to the deathconstrict machine

>>40565303
I had a dream about snakes last night

Like all dreams I cant remember how it started, but I was in my living room and had a large python with a cut face similar to OPs pic in my hands. I was there with my father and we were talking about something when I lost sight of the snake, next thing I knew there was a giant red egg on the floor but it was shell-less, sort of soft and squishy and something was moving inside it. When I saw the snake again it had lost it entire tail and its face had become vicious, almost beak-like with teeth and its scales had become jagged and flared. I picked it up and had it near my face and it bit me before I threw it away and as I looked down I saw 10 or 20 of these soft red eggs all over the floor and they started hatching and snakes started pouring out of them. Last thing I remember before waking up was being surrounded and covered with snakes and snake skins as well as blood and fleshy egg casings.

Also you're born with a good boy pussy you cant get one later, sorry bro you're just going to have to deal with what you have.

>>40565303
trap?

pls be in london if so

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>>40567442

This. Also i need to share this story.
>Be me
>slither into gym
>head for the hanging branches to get a sweet tummy pump
>qt3.14 cobra taking up the whole branch
>sstay low and use another machine
>think about going over
>nearly mating season after all
>Mfw Chad thundertail darts over too her and they hit it off.

I feel really low you guys, i work out twice as hard as Chad but she still wants his eggs. what should i do?

Also rate my progresss

Am i gonna make it? i work out twice as hard yet i know she'll still take chads eggs.

>>40565303
Bi-Chad and Weird-Chad take all the Grade A Stuff but there is still some pretty good second rate boipucci going around and the trans community is growing everyday

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You hit the CONSTRICTION HARD, while taipan eats mice

Sneks look at your terrarium body and think "ewww what a try hard" while they look at the taipan and think "i love him, he just bites what he wants, not even concerned about the whole constriction thing".

Taipan STILL hunts INFINITELY better than you because of his GENETICALLY DETERMINED VENOM, FANGS and JAW.

Sneks are getting more and more choice and validation and its either TAIPAN or NOTHING

Why haven't you constrictors learnt yet?

It's either ELAPID GENETICS, or BOA RESULTS.

>>40567893
>He virgin slithers over to his bar

>>40568378
What is the virgin slither?

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kekn inna snek thred

>>40565303
Barbell glute thrusts, uphill sprints
Do hypertrophy and supersets.

>>40568578
If you have to asssk you probably do it

>>40568578
Hecking virgin

Have any of your tried SssssssSsssssGomad? Everyone saysss it'ssss a meme

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now this is a thread i can participate in

>>40567460
Your dream foretells the return of Quetzalcoatl

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.

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Why don't you own the most based pet /fit/?
>only need to need once every two weeks / >once a month during winter for ball pythons, more money to spend for yourself
>mice really cheap to buy frozen
>animal that gives respect to you and you give respect back, have to tame to not spaz out at the sight of you
>just need a small area to keep
>quiet, no disturbances at night
>you're too big (uuuu) for the snake to consider wanting to eat, just wants to cuddle you as a mobile heat rock
>have snoots to boop

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>>40569069
Sneks can be mean

>>40569096

>but that snoot

>>40569069
>Buying frozen mice for your sneks
>not feeding them manlets from the manlet pit

When will you learn

>>40568947
>>40569069
Very cute sneks. Mines being shy or id take some pictures.

>>40569069
It's seems your pet rock has worms. You should get that looked at.

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>>40569096
sneks can be snexy

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>>40569226

>>40567893
I have never laughed this hard while reading a post here. Thank you, Anon. This was hilarious.
I hope this becomes a regular thing.

>>40569529
Thanks

t. hanks

>>40567653
>he doesn't do GOVAD (gallon of venom a day)
>doing meme slithers with hanging branches instead of constricting and lunging
>doesn't work on fang gainz

no wonder Chad Thunderscale cucks you

>>40567893
>implying that elapids won't be BTFO by Chad Thunderanaconda
>elapid cucks actually believe they're better than boids
>not having heat vision pores in current year

>>40571415
>not having enough venom to kill over 100 men
>making it

venomlets, when will they learn

>not biting for FUNCTIONAL TOXICITY

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>>40569096
>thinking a puppy snouted noodle wants to be mean

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>>40569226
>>40572148
sneks just want to cuddle

>>40565303
I LOVE DICKS IN MY BUNGHOLE
>I LOVE DICKS IN MY BUNGHOLE
I LOVE DICKS IN MY BUNGHOLE
>I LOVE DICKS IN MY BUNGHOLE
>I LOVE DICKS IN MY BUNGHOLE
I LOVE DICKS IN MY BUNGHOLE
>I LOVE DICKS IN MY BUNGHOLE
I LOVE DICKS IN MY BUNGHOLE
>I LOVE DICKS IN MY BUNGHOLE

Well, how can we tell you what to work on when you haven't posted yourself?

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>>40573723
Here is my progress so far. Sorry if it's not the best picture but that's all I have for now.

What do I have to work on?

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>>40574134
Saved. You seem a bit tall, and I like that.
Don't forget chin ups, overhead press and incline bench press to get the upper body basics.
Uphill sprints and barbell glute thrusts for max glutes.
Do all of it on a hypertrophy routine, eg, 10 reps, followed by partial reps, and then superset it all at 4/5ths the weight. Do 3 sets of that.

>>40569529
It is already a regular thing.
Some just do it better than others.

>>40572357
lewd

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>>40574134
Jesus anon...I didn't think you'd actually post.

Do what >>40575199 said.

I can't think of many dumbbell exercises that would get what you want. I think you'd better throwing some weight in a schoolbag then squatting and thrusting with that on.

If you can get a barbell and some weights, do squats, rdl, sldl, hip thrusts and wide box squats really help with glutes/hips.

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>>40576101
>>40575199

Thanks for the advice anons, here's a .gif for your trouble

>>40574134
Post face; i cant fap to this if you are an uggo

>>40577078
>Posting your face on a Mongolian bowl carving forum

>>40574134
Oh hey, look it's the gym twink.

>>40579342
>Anaconda ate the gym twink

>>40579772
This spells bad news for the anaconda, since the anaconda will now take the gym twink role

>>40565303
this pisses me off so much. in WHAT LANGUAGE does "cc" constitute an S sound. holy fucking shit this rages me every fucking god damn time i see it.

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Amazed this thred has lasted so long.

>>40579342
>>40579772
kekn inna snek thred
>did the anaconda use an anacondom?

>>40577048
I see your limes and raise you a wtfingshit.

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>>40567893

>>40579891
Cyrillic гoмик

>>40567653
Literally laughed

>>40579891
cyka blyat