*takes long drag from vape* *holds it in for a bit and blows

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*pulls velcro back on fingerless gloves and reapplies velcro to tighten fingerless gloves*
>"I jelq."

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*changes channel from sportscenter to my little pony*
>"alan thrall"

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*mails in tax return before april 15*
>"Anyone see my belt? Bout to fire off some weighted dips."

>>40540177
but that is factually accurate and correct

Test

>>40541716

A fatass like that will choke himself doing front squats

>>40540177
>not doing all three variants
NOT GONNA MAKE IT

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>>40541438
>*mails in tax return before april 15*

oh man i am laffin

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>>40540177

*CRRRAAACK*
Whoops, was that your knee, dude?

>>40540177
Bumpedora

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*pulls pants back into place*

*tugs down shirt tail*

*fires up Don't Stop Believing/Bohemian Rhapsody playlist*

>HIIT cardio is all you need

>>40541716
Lol, good one brahj

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>>40540563
better not be talking shit on my boy alan

>"I don't take protein supplements, they aren't natural"
>eats more 90% of diet is made up of crisps

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>When people do barbell, they end up with body proportions of unbalanced proportions unlike Myself as I only do lifts with full my own body's weight or dumbbell workouts in order to ensure a completely balanced body proportions

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*This is not CROSSFIT this is FUNCTIONAL PATTERNS*

>>40544935
Oh no... I know the guy in the right of that pic...

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>I can bench the body weight of the myself in bench press so proportionality I am the stronger one when compared to you
>picture related

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>>40540177
*readjusts tail plug and furry ear fedora hat*
>"Better retract that scapula".
*purrs softly*

>>40548013
at that point just put a ball gag on him so you can fuck him without having to hear him talk

>>40549077
lol you wouldn't even know what to do with him if you had the chance, son.

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*wipes ass menacingly*
>"I wipe my ass. Get used to it cause you're gonna be seein a lot more of it from now on."

>>40549968
This one always made me laugh the most.

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>abs