/fit/ i need help. I'll try to explain, not native language

I am alittle drunk but hang with me.
TL;DR
>be me age 24
>been bullied since i was a child by one kid
>starting to have violent aggressions towards seemingly innocent people
>afraid i will lose control one day
>I am afraid of losing the life i have, im living good in my country at about 580,000 (Norwegian kroners) a day from daytime plumbing work and gas station work in the weekends
>wondering what to do?
>do i kick my bullies face in?
>do i keep trying to hide my anger?
>do i start breaking stuff?

>>40439308
>>40439357
BTW I am 6'4'' feet tall(196cm) and weighing in at 120kgs pretty lean so not the strongest guy at my weight) also been training MMA since i was 17(and i was in a street fighting club in my town for some time), he is about 175cm and he weighs 150 pounds, literally skeleton.

You guys dont understand i think.
I feel like the only way to resolve my anger after 10 years of terapy is to actually fuck this one guy up. But i am afraid that once i start attacking him all the built up rage will make me not able to control myself. I might literally kill this person, and i honestly dont feel like he deserves this but i also want to get a normal life. I have talked to my psychologist about this issue and he tells me there is other ways, I literally cry when i talk to my psychologist.
This is also the reason i got into lifting, It started as a way for me to release anger by excercise and fatigue.

I have been lifting ever since i was 19(5 years now going strong)
3 years of those where i counted macros and followed great programs. made really nice gains and all.

But i have made NONE of the psychological gains that i feel i need to keep living.
I cant stand this anymore.
Dont get me wrong, i dont want to kill myself, i would never do that(im not a fucking pussy).
I want to find a solution that works, but nothing my Therapist(just found the right word not psychologist*) helps me at all, i havent felt emotions like this since i was 14-15 years old and the anger emotions is so strong. I cannot control myself when someone confronts me i just lash out.
I am currently on anti depressant and sleeping pills. (Been on it the last 2 months since thats when i really started having trouble controlling myself)
I dont want to go into a Institution or anything i feel that it's for maniacs and psychos.
Please, someone need to know something that helps.

File: 1487478756945s.jpg (4KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

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When someone figuratively spits in your face

>>40439308
When i say lifted him out i mean literally lifted him out and yelled of all heart that if i ever saw him again etc. etc.
The mother of one of my friends saw this and the look on her face when i came back behind the counter literally killed me. I wish i knew who the person was i would apologize to him now that i am calm, but i do not know who it was.
I am literally so done with living with sudden bursts of uncontrollable anger i am shedding a couple of tears right now.

>>40439437
Dont beat him up bro, it would be easy but it wont solve your problems. Just the fact that you are physically superior to this chump means you can win any verbal confrontation. Play on his weaknesses and put him down that way, this aside lifes a game man so treat it as such, youre both just first person oblivion characters roaming around. You just need to see the lighter side, once you see that your outlook on life will change.

File: 1486649645592.jpg (10KB, 320x427px) Image search: [Google]

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>>40439506
What would that help?
One on one i have laid him down on the ground with my fist up to his face and the only words i yelled was "Stop, FUCKING STOP!" and he just does not stop.
It has calmed down since this episode(the bullying and all) but the anger still remains.
You think just standing up to a bully by talking will stop anything? i have tried this on alot of people in my childhood and most of them have stopped. Some of the bullies are now my friends because they have grown up and are not immature or does not feel the need to hit on me. They still roast me for my past but that i can just shrug and laugh off with me.
I feel like a ticking time bomb and everytime he lays down a remark on something about me i just feel like the fuse is growing shorter

>>40439506
I've been thinking on moving away, leaving it all behind. But i am really unsure about this.
I know i would make a nice life for myself in another city and all but i really like my life. the only thing wrong is the Fury i feel inside.
What i mean is; Most days im actually Happy, but when that guy decides to interrupt my scheduel he really ruins my happyness and i end up overthinking and becoming 'unstable'

>op has everything going for him
>lives in godd country
>has good healthy body
>has stable job
>but op is little bitch
>he must find something to cry about
>some dude says kind of mean stuff sometimes
>op is literally shaking right now

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>>40439308
The best revenge is success. I know someone has probably told you that, but just listen. Be the best at everything. Believe in yourself. Use that anger to fuel your lifts, no matter if its just a warm-up or a PR. Tell yourself, "is this kid worth it?" When you die how many people will miss you? How many will miss him? It's time to stop being a sad-cunt, and start being a sick-cunt.

>>40439758
I am not saying that other people have it better than me.
I am saying, that i want to live a better life.
Without all these sudden reactions. I might lose the happy life i have.

I dont know why you think im healthy, i havent said anything about my health. only my Psychological health which is obviously not healthy.

>>40439801
The image you posted feels related, except the loneliness and Binge eat part.
Loneliness </> Realisation
Binge eat </> Fury
I really dont know how to fix this, a couple more months and i will move to another city if not another country.

So some 24 year old loser goes out of his way to harass you? Is he mental?

>>40439883
Op here
What? i don't understand what you mean "is he mental?"
Its not about him directly anymore, its about me and my issues. i feel like if he does this one or two more times i am just going to snap
>prison
>ruined life
>tfw no life
I am scared and asking for advice

>>40439883

> being bullied at 24

???

>>40439910
I was asking if he's a retard (autism, asperger's, etc). Can you get a restraining order?

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Im on my last few sips here boys. Got gym in 14 hours.

I will talk to people tomorrow, my mom and some of my friends that already know of this issue and has some insight of what i should do. I cannot keep living like this.
I dont want to hurt him but i feel like its the only way to let out the rage thats building up.