Name a time you've been called upon by the iron gods to

>>40232252
Well, there was the time I had to flip your mom to prevent her getting bedsores

>>40232252
Moved a 200lb rock for this girl I like. Her mom needed it somewhere else in her yard.

nigger stole a lady's purse in front of me, i ran after him caught him and started throwing bombs he dropped the purse and ran away she gave me 200 bucks

>>40232811
>>40232822
Yet another thrilling tale from "Things That Never Actually Happened"

qt very low test waitress asks me to come and pick up the box filled with used silverware because it's too heavy for her

Little things like that, It's kinda weird when I think about it. People actually being so frail and weak that they have trouble with things like that while I don't even have to think about it

>>40232832
You realize that's only like 1.5 pl8, right? What kind of Manlet are you?

I go dancing a lot and grills love being dipped; most seem to think that it's some crazy feat of strength (it's not, a 130lb skelly could dip a whale if he does it right) plus it makes them feel small. Taller grills especially seem to get a kick out of this for some reason.

That and de-treeing my buddy's frisbee using a bigass log to knock it down. While not that interesting or impressive, that at least made me feel like something out of my chinese cartoons.

still waiting on the day I rescue a qt3.14159265358 azn from giga nigger and receive a lifetime of bjs, but until then I'll just suffer silently thru ill-fitting clothes and uncomfortably narrow seats in movie theaters and on trains

>>40232252
I was mayor of a small French town once and a wooden cart had collapsed on one of my workers. Naturally I pulled that shit off of him as if it were a ship's flagpole.

I've had to bust loose bolts at work for guys. Well I tightened them in the first place

>sister trying to open a jar of pickles
>cant do it
>"hey anon, come put those big muscles to use"
>try to open jar for her but its impossibly tight so i give up after almost popping a vein in my forehead
>she picks it up and gives it one more try. it opens. "thats okay anon, you must have loosened it up for me"
>blows me that night

File: 1472414727245.png (494KB, 600x597px) Image search: [Google]

494KB, 600x597px

>>40233211

>>40233211
nice

>>40233064
You are a miserable faggot

>sitting on a bench at uni doing homework
>cutie approaches
>"hey anon do you mind opening my bottle of water? i cant do it"
>open it in like 1 second

FUNCTIONAL STRENGTH MY MEN

work at a loading dock at a hardware store, qt3.14 coworker asks me to help pull down an order for her because its too heavy, as im lifting these cabinets another grill coworker walks by and chats up qt, can hear them making comments about how strong i am, and how im "putting those muscles to good use". work mires are the best mires

>>40234095

>Doing shit for people who are using you and don't give a shit about you.

This place really is full of desperate autists.

never, to hell with normies

This 50 yr old mom was struggling to open a twist-off bottle cap for some soda

I stepped in and said "I can take care of that" and one shot the cap.

I feel like a hero

>>40232252
Strenght?

>Had to push a cart with audio equipment and carry a bucket with cables
>probably 100kg in cart
>I grab the bucket filled with cables, left cart WITH WHEELS for skinnyfat guy so he can push it
>He barely does it
>small "hill" (just a steep) and he can't push it no more
>Female friend of us says quietly "go do it, he can't"
>Push it easily.
It had fucking wheels, come on.
>He was embarrased and looked down afterwards

Abilities?

>Some party
>Girl I know was selling tequila shots
>drunk idiot starts bullshiting and yelling her
>She tells him to leave
>he decides to be a tough guy, yells back and pushes her hard
>Intervene, use a simple clinch toss and take him away
>His friends and bystanders yelled "NOOO DON'T HIT HIM NOOO"
>I only moved him away and everybody freaked out about le evil me dominating some drunk idiot
>Nothing more happened, his friends immediately took him away and he was scared as fuck
>Now everytime girl sees me smiles back, says hi and chat for a bit

She is a lesbian though, but is nice and personable, I like her. Would be a bro. Can lesbians be considered bros?

>>40232978
>I go dancing a lot and grills love being dipped
Ok I don't dance at all, wtf is dipping? Lifting a girl, like cheerleaders do?

I'm a manager at work but we had a project where a heavy-ass optical plate had to be delicately manhandled up into final assembly position. It must have weighed 400lbs and had not good way to grab it.

I'm 6'5" 220lbs and a little shy of 1,000lb total so not Hercules but not you average desk jockey either.

Me and another guy granted the thing, lifted it and set it in place.

Yeah that's about it for me.

>>40234290
>optical plate
>seems to require precision
>fuck it, lets do it manually
>literally
lol

>>40234310
Yup, the thing was worth a few 100k. It mounted in the guts of a bigger machine. Nothing to rig to, manual was the only way.

>>40232919
you are enabling females to behave like children. that puts you lower than her. and her lower than the rest of us.

>>40234136
30 yr old qt flirts with me on the regs, sorry your dad doesnt love you brah

>>40233066
did you grease them?

>>40233064
Jean???

>at a grocery store
>overhear qt3.14 talking to her mother
>"i don't believe autism exists"
>i walk up to them and being telling them my meal prep and routine periodization

holding doors open for people is easier cause i can scoot over more while extending my arm out.

>>40234359
kek

File: feat-june-18-5.jpg (248KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

248KB, 1920x1080px

>>40234251

deadeye doesn't count

>>40234272
It's where you save your sperm in a vat and dip them in it using your functional strength

>>40234349
Pierre???

>>40233064
>I was mayor of a small French town once
This reminds me of a man I once knew... But it couldn't be!
>>40234272
>Ok I don't dance at all, wtf is dipping? Lifting a girl, like cheerleaders do?
Tipping a girl over without letting her go, and then bringing her back up. It's what's probably in the logo of your nearest tango school.

Last was when my parents bought a preassembled shed and I took over from the previous owner in clearing out the paving stones, which I carried one in each hand to the wheelbarrow and pushed at weight they couldn't.

at work and fucking sloots

>>40233211
damn sweet, how was it?

>>40234359
Underrated

>>40233211
kek'd

>be me, 6'3," below average for fit
>playin some indoor soccer tonight
>biggest dude on the field by a mile
>fat spaz on other team spazzin all game
>slides into our goalie
>goalie is a chill dude
>goes "wtf bro"
>fat spaz shoves him, starts towards him
>i slide right in, tower over fatty
>"don't do dat"
>back him into the wall
>co-ed game, all the girls screamin "get away from him anon!!"
>mfw now im the spaz

>>40234260
>Can lesbians be considered bros?
Totally. The best bros.

>>40234387

Luc???

File: theman.jpg (162KB, 402x500px) Image search: [Google]

162KB, 402x500px

>>40232252

10+ years ago
man and wife in motor scooters (USA)
man flips over scooter
I rush to aid him
lift him upright
venture to get his freakin vehicle (all hand controls)
load him in said vehicle,
deed is done.
Jesus Saves.

>>40233926
Who the fuck does their homework at the gym?

File: parking thing.jpg (69KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 640x480px

>>40232252
>walking to parking lot with friends
>this dude has run up on the parking space bumper thing (pic related)
>the piece of rebar is stuck under the vehicle and he's dragging it around the parking lot
>get in front of the car and deadlift it up a couple inches so that it can get off the piece of rebar
>he reverses and is free from the concrete bumper thing
>everybody is like "WHOA YOU LIFTED A CAR HOLY SHITTT"
>none of the tires left the ground, just took some tension off the suspension system

Normies were impressed, even though it wasn't a big deal.

>started strongman years ago
>do car deadlifts for the first time
>laugh to myself thinking I can now deadlift a car if I need to save someone
>literally a week later a car rolled over and trapped someone
>saw the car flip and stopped to go help
>me and some dyel panicking
>arm trapped under tire can't pull them out
>tell him to get ready and pull
>looks at me like I'm retarded
>yell at him to get ready
>go to deadlift just the front right tire to get the arm out
>realizing car deadlifts are easy because of the fucking leverage sticking out on competitions
>not so easy with almost nothing to grab
>manage to lift it enough to get the arm out
>throw out my back and can't lift for a few weeks

It was worth it I guess but I don't think I'd do it again, especially with a bigger car.