>forget to tip the front desk >gym cancels my plate

>forgot to suck off the gym owner
>gym cancels my membership

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>forget i don't go to the gym
>post on /fit/ advice threads

>mixed up left and right-handed dumbbells
>everyone in the freeweight section giving me death glares

can I ever go back?

>wore basketball shorts to the gym
>lifted weights while looking for a hoop

>lifted weight until hypertrophy
>muscle size increases

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>Got pulled over today at the treadmill
>Gym officer said I was going too fast and putting the live of other gym goers in danger
>Tfw fell for the cardio meme

>forgot my squat permit at home
>caught illegally squatting

I'm no longer allowed near squat racks

>>40151006
Did he steal your gains as punishment?

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>>40150718
>be 35 year old powerlifter
>wake up at 9pm, after all-night tendie bulking feast
>Oh no, gym closes at 11!
>shout for mummy to bring me my lifting gear
>"Anon, I'm with New Daddy right now. You're a big boy, can't you get it yourself!"
>ungrateful bitch! she knows that if I have to walk up the stairs to get my gear I'll be too winded to do my deadlift singes!
>engage operation stench press
>roll my 500 pound frame out of bed and into the kitchen
>grab some of my shit jugs and store them in between my rolls of fat
>starting to get dizzy from rolling around and vomit all over myself
>finally get to kitchen
>mummy and new daddy are playing wrestling on the table
>"Anon, I thought you were in your room!"
>"Mummy won't get my lifting belt, she will wish she never smelt (my diarrhea)"
>unleash torrent of chocolate poopie funtimes all over mummy and new daddy
>table collapses under the weight of my big boy poopie
>new daddy screams and starts running towards me
>little does he know the awesome strength I have built by participating in the venerable sport of powerlifting
>grab him like a twig and deadlift him off the ground
>abdominal muscles are so strong that they squeeze my stomach from the effort, propelling gallons of chunky milkshake out of my mouth
>mummy starts pleading with me and says she'll make me all the tendies i want if I just stop and be a good boy
>grab my shit jugs that i stored in my fat rolls
>pour them on mummy's head
>9:30
>too late to go to the gym now
>order 500 tendies from Mickey Dee's
>can't cheat on my dirty bulk just because it's a rest day!

>forget to clean the communal squat plug
>pt's won't spot me in the shower anymore

>someone spilled mass gainer all over the plates
>too heavy for anyone to pick up and use
>gym cancelled

>>40151029
>Mummy won't get my lifting belt, she will wish she never smelt (my diarrhea)"

Fucking kek

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>gym carnie is on vacation
>that means the prize booth is closed for the day
>spend all day lifting and go home empty handed
>no new teddy bear and mustache comb for doing a good job and hitting all my goals

what's the fucking point

>showering in the gym
>forgot to wear my penis cap
>shower inspector inspects my penis mid shower
>have to watch 3 hour video on why penis caps are important for gym showers as punishment

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>Sign up for gym membership
>I only had enough money for the gold package
>Some platinum members find out in the locker room
>tfw raped by Platinum members in the shower

Always read the fine print, lads.

>someone forgot to charge the treadmills
>have to hand crank them

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>>40151125
top haha my dude