"Are you anon? OMG you've gotten so big and hot *giggles*

>>40149838
> haha y-you too

You too?

Get out of my room roasties. I want to look good because I love myself. Not for you ugly parasitical cunts

>>40149838
Back the fuck off?

>>40149838

skrrrrt bitch get away from me

where's chad??

>O-okay, nice seeing you too!.....?

>>40149838
Honestly I'll just say thanks and change the subject afterwards because I don't know how to respond to compliments

>>40149838

"Thanks! Wii Fit and Zumba are really paying off."

>>40149838
Would something like "And you didn't change at all, hot as always" sound forced?

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Thanks, zumba and rollerblading have really been paying off.

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>>40149838
Stop being a slut.

>>40149919
15 second difference, Are you me? I can already tell you're a sick cunt who slays pussy.

>>40149922

I would laugh at them hopefully, maybe not the best thing but it would make sense to my brain and not be the most spaghetti thing to do

>>40149838

I'm married.

>>40149921
sounds beta cuckboy who is going to make excuses while chad puts her down and fucks her ass.

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>>40149838
"Who are you again?"

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>>40149955
dubs of truth, winrar

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"Ay bruv"
>"ye bruv"
"Ay this bird with fat tits is complimentin me bruv"
>"slaying bruv, you gon hit it bruv?"
"Nah bruv, semen retention bruv"
>"oh shit bruv I forgot, I hit this fat bird yesterday bruv"
"Bruv we gotta hit the gym asap bruv
>"ye bruv"
Proceeds to leave party because get togethers ruin my gains.

>>40149838
lookin thicc bbz u wan sum fucc XD

>>40149838
would you like to suck my cock, berzerker
my love for you is making fuck, berzerker

Haha yeah ive been hitting the gym. Whats your favorite drink?
*she gives answer*
(to the bartender)I'll have 1 double shot of grey goose and one *answer*
*tip $2*
Cheers. So what have you been up to these days?

So easy. Interaction with sluts is almost systematic

>>40149838
You're looking good too, does Minnie mousey want a nibble? Gotta show me you got good nibble form first though, maybe your friend can help you with the spot.

>>40150033
wow I wish my game was this good

>>40150033
loooooooooooooooooooooooooool

>>40150033

i'm squirting all over the place

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>>40149838
Thanks, I will.

>thanks, my genetics finally kicked in. So what have you been up to?

>>40149838
*pulls down pants*
*turns 360*
braaaarp right in their face

>>40149938
Actually in a weird twist of fate, I am you.

And you're a sick cunt who slays pussy.

>>40150058
Yeah I can leave you my DM if you want

yeah i know its crazy right :D
i even got my own apartment now
you should totally check it out sometime, its got everything you need

>>40149838
for you

>>40150033
So the bartender is a slut? I don't get it.

>>40150033
>buying girls drinks
>blue pill as fuck
>never gunna make it

>>40150284
Dude its only like $10 just think of it as a slut tax

>>40149838
I'd probably respond with "nah I'm pretty small but thanks"

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>>40149838
>98% of /fit/ doesn't know how to respond to this.
You too

>>40149838
Thanks, you two are looking cute as ever.

not hard to be a normie. At least, not to pretend to be one

>>40149838
"Thanks. You two want to come back to my place and have some drinks together? It'll be fun."

>>40149838

are u kidding?
this is the exact moment we train for
the moment we get to reject the girls who rejected us in the prior life

i'd fuckin blow them right off and look right through them. im better than them now and they will reap what they have sowed praise ya jesus

>>40149838
>"thanks"
>have a shitty smile
>"means a lot when someone other than my mom says im hot"

but in the heat of the moment ive done "you too" my mind just goes blank and I panic

>>40149838
For you

>>40150033
"Not much. Thanks for the drink anon, Byeeee!"

>>40149838
Awesome costumes, I love minnie mouse and michael jackson

>>40149838
Maybe if you were ten years younger, sorry I'm not into used up whores.

>>40150033
This is maybe the most autistic thing I've read today

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>>40150033
hurts to read

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>>40150412
>tfw your former oneitis got fat, settled down with a fat guy in suburban Houston with a fat dog and a fat kid and you're dating a hottie who's 4 years younger than she is

>>40149838
"i know"
>flexes autistically

"I think you both have the right to know. Lifting weights has turned me into a homosexual. And to be completely honest girl in the Michael Jackson outfit, I had anal sex with your father last night."

>>40149838
Yep just Wii fit, and a cheeseburger before bed.
It helps make up for my shit personality,

>>40149955
this

>>40150513
I know this feel. I get bigger, and my former crush gets bigger. It's the way of the world.

>>40150000
waste of quads
sad

Uh, I have to return some videotapes.

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>>40150195
/tv/ pls

>>40150000
best use possible of quads

nice work

>>40149914
Yeah this.

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>>40150412

>>40150094
A 360 is a full circle, you fucking retard.

yeah i guess im just a lucky guy haha

Thanks, you look bigger too.

>>40150033
>tips $2
Nigga you're supposed to open a tab up

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>>40150033
>Cheers. So what have you been up to these days?

>>40150640
babby's first time on the internet?

>>40149838
>Thanks. You look the same

>>40150711
>Thanks. You look... older

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...Thanks...
>drives internally

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>>40150555
>>40149955
Holy molly

"You're annoying me, go bother somebody else."

>>40150699
You is the baited son

>>40150513

haha yessir PTL

>>40150634

>omg she finally noticed me

>>40150033
wow. I never thought i would come face-to-face with a bona fide Chad.

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>>40150412
>not fucking her first
faggot shit

>>40151004

>fucking her first

this is acceptable, and i've done that too, but then you have to live with a girl who is pissed at you and will talk shit about you to everyone because you used her. so make sure she's not friends w/ any girls you might want to hook up with in the future bc she will ruin that. thats happened to me too, but none of her friends were anything special anyway - just a warning

>>40150195
UUUU

>>40149838
>take a shit on the carpet
>territory marked
>bark at outsiders to get out of my zone
>win prizes

>>40150033
This anon thinks he's the shit because all girls go talk to him. Doesn't realize they all go because just by greeting you you pay for their favorite drink. They also have a deal with the bartender to do that amap to give him 2 dollar tips. Go 5 times to meet anon to get your drink and you'll get a free beer.

>>40151062
>tfw only a few thousand japs out of millions are attractive
>tfw only a few million out of hundreds of millions of whites are attractive
>tfw no shitskins are attractive
really makes u think huh

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>>40149965

I like this image

>>40151062
I need the sound for this

is it on youtube

>>40149838
I do a little zumba on the weekends.

>>40151062
IMAGINE

>>40150033
>teleports behind them
>steals stacies from you
>heh, nothin personal kid

Yeah I've been working out a lot over the past year. I'm actually much smaller than I was before if you consider all the fat I lost, but yeah my arms certainly look more defined if that's what you mean.

>>40150728
Underrated post

>>40149914
>Yeah, I've been spending a lot more time at the gym. You guys don't look so bad yourself. Wanna go grab some lunch? It'd be nice after not seeing each other for so long.

>>40150325
This guy has no idea, a true alpha doesn't waste his time BRIBING WOMAN with drinks. A true man is busy with different things.

>>40150033
>tips bartender
LOL do Americans really tip people who pour drinks?

>>40151101
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x16n2oa_aidol-131018-ske48-no-ebi-friday-night-ep03_fun

It's little more than halfway into the episode.

>>40149838
>"Are you anon? OMG you've gotten so big and hot *giggles* since the last time we've seen you."
>98% of /fit/ doesn't know how to respond to this.
>>40149838
>"Are you anon? OMG you've gotten so big and hot *giggles* since the last time we've seen you."
>98% of /fit/ doesn't know how to respond to this.
i would runaway because this girls are ugly, especially the right one.

>>40149838
you literally only have to smile and say yeah

>>40149838
>yeah, I know

>>40151237
Americans barely pay their bartenders and expect the customers to cover the difference between their wages and the cost of living. It's stupid.

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>>40150033

>>40151062
Is that bear grylls?

Does anyone have the chloe moretz pictures?

>>40149838
I know. Do you have any attractive friends you could introduce me to?

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>>40149838
"my secret is lots of kale smoothies and only kale smoothies"

>>40151219
>lunch when you could have brunch
never gonna make it

>>40150033
I am LAFFIN anon you fucking faggot

>>40150080
This is criminally underrated.

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>>40150033

>>40151223
>different things
Like what?

>>40151237
Yep. Americans tip delivery guys, barbers, and even at many food places where there is no actual waiter

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>>40149896
kek

>>40150033

>haha yeah
>typing out your laughs in 2017

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>>40150033

>>40149838
"Yeah, I'm just a lucky guy"

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>>40149838
Haha yes I AM BIG!! You used to call me a runty dork and fuck chad, but now chad polishes my shoes and calls me DADDYSIR! NOW FUCK ME, BITCH!! I COULD KILL YOU WITH ONE STRIKE AND THAT TURNS YOU ON YOU SICK BITCH. SHOW SUBSERVIENT REMORSE AND SUCKLE

>>40150412
>not saying "yeah I'm just lucky I guess"
>not fuckin her raw in the ass
>not looking at your reflection in the mirror and flexing at the same time
>not blasting your cum deep in her ass then pulling out and dodging the massive klondike canno that comes shooting out landing on her bed covered in your cum
>not looking at her in disgust as you use her sheets to wipe the poo of your cock
>not saying "don't ever try and talk to me or contact me again you disgust me" as you walk out of her room

It's like you have not been thinking of this day for the last 8 years

>>40149838
*teleports behind you*
You're not my type

>>40149838
Thanks! I've been hitting the gym lately, you look pretty good yourself.
Not that fucking hard

>>40151062
They're all fucking acting.

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>>40151562

actually, damn. thats a way better idea.

>>40149955

aaaaand this is why I never push myself at the gym. but i sweearr I'm going to go this weekend

>>40149838

Thanks, what have you two been up to?

>>40151219
>grab lunch
>middle of a party at 12am
>they want to bang right now

Come on anon

>>40151621
Anime

>>40149838
Oh really?
Thanksss
*slide arm around her waist

>>40151044
Found the guy who's never fucked Stacy.

>>40152418
lmao

>>40150531
Only acceptable answer yet

Besides going to the gym and work, I only stay at home so there's no possible way I could ever get into this situation.

Let's say I did.
>Thanks.
That's all.

>>40152418
>being this beta

atleast try a little

>>40150195
classic

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>>40149838
Drunk Me:
>hug both of them simultaneously and not give a fuck, dance with one or both and eventually take them back to my place

Sober me:
>Ayep, I'm gonna go over here and have some beer and tequila, I'll be a lot friendlier later.

Sober me is a fantastic wing man for drunk me, that being said, I'm also pretty attractive, although confidence and my deep voice do a lot for me.

>>40149873
>>40149874
Damn it.

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>>40149838
B-back that ass up.

>>40151707
>i'm trying

>>40152937
genuinely kek'd

Reply: Thanks.

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"Haha its been a while, I've been hitting the gym pretty hard lately."

"Wanna come back to my place and watch some anime together?"

>>40150033
>not getting her to buy you drinks all night
Fucking faggot

>>40153088
"Sure. Only if it's Fullmetal Alchemist ;)"

Look them both up and down, laugh and walk away.

>>40153128
"I'll show you something that's fullmetal ;)"

>>40153128
At least it's not Brotherhood

>>40150033
A lot of people are criticizing this, but it really is a good start. You can chat there or go dance with her/grind -> make out -> home

>>40149838
>thanks, I'm drinking plenty of water now.

>>40153159
?

>>40150867
I bet you thought he was operating at 2 levels of irony BUT THE TRUTH IS HE WAS OPERATING AT 3

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>>40151950
>wish gif related would happen to me...

>>40150566
>>40150592
Y'all better make your minds up real fukken soon

>>40149873
Underrated

>>40149838
Indian girls make my dick diamonds.
God damn.

>>40149838
I'd mumble an acknowledgement and stare at my shoes until they realise they're wasting their time.

>>40150000
damn zyzz looks different nowadays

>>40149873
Fpbp

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>>40151707
>I'm trying

>>40151987
kek

>haha...thanks. A-are you an examiner? Because I'd like to bone an archaeologist

>>40150412
>not hitting it and then ignoring her messages the next day

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>>40150195

>>40149838
>Tackle one of them and punch her in the face repeatedly
>When brought in to the police station say they tried to steal my gainz

>>40151707
lmfao, i love this image

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>>40150094
>>40150640
>>40150699
>>40150867
>>40153770

my fucking sides

>>40149838
Wtf? Just smirk and say 'Thanks' like people say this to you all the time.

Or joke that youve been training for your part in the next Magic Mike film.

Everyone knows to do that.

>>40149838
thanks I try really hard, what are you doin after this?

"lol idk nothing"

that sounds boring, you should come out with us were going to "x" (could just be another bar)

or how about we all go to my place for some protein shakes and sex

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>>40150513
Please be me in a couple of years

stupid piece of shit oneitis

>>40150033
put me in the reddit screencap :^)

>>40151621
preserving his sacred seed for marriage

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>>40150033

only works if you immediately chug *answer* while maintaining eye contact with her. Then start on your vodka while pretending like that was a completely normal thing to do. You can also say something like "yeah I can understand why you like this drink" to keep the conversation going

>>40149838
If you can't legit respond to this normally you're a complete retard

>>40149965
Her hand is on the kid's butt

>>40155174
A L P H A
L
P
H
A

>>40155174
kek

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>>40150490
underrated

>>40150033
>bartender

Pic looks like it's at a house party

Let me tell you about the Jews

>>40149838
"Thanks! You both look great. So, what brought you both out here tonight? Anything special?"

Accept, reciprocate, redirect to them. It isn't rocket science, you fucks.

>>40149838
>Should've taken the effort to see me more often, then. Bye.

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>don't test me
Come on guys

>>40156159
>but anon, we heard you're high test!

>>40149838
WHORE! YOU ARE UNPURE! GO AWAY WITH YOUR DIRTY MIND! HAIL ZYZZ!!!!!!!!

>>40156139
Mate, rocket science I can do

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>>40151707
...

You to

>>40150000
Holy fuck those two are ugly as fuck

>>40151219
>Yeah, I've been spending a lot more time at the gym. You guys don't look so bad yourself

This has to be the most retarded post in here.
Just say thank you and change topic don't tell her how "she doesn't look bad herself". No woman wants to hear that shit with words like these

>>40149965
Is that the sleepycabin image of Cory's dad?

>>40150033
I'm a girl and reading this made me drip

>>40150033
>Having to buy them drinks

Kek. Can barely afford drinks for myself and still get pussy. You must be ugly.

that's not the only thing getting big and hot
*unzips dick

>>40155030
Confirmed virgin

>>40150513
it's begun
>I've lost 70lbs and getting STRONK
>saw ex working at walmart
>she's ruined her body with even more tattoos and piercings
>she's gained 40lbs
>she's planning on moving in with her new boyfriend in a few months(we lived together and she cited cohabitation as the reason for the failure of the relationship)
mixed feelings about it, I'd be fine if I could find someone else but I know I'm still unattractive

>>40149838

"Thanks, you guys doing anything right now?"

It's like /fit/ has never been in a threesome

>>40149838
I got a few options really
''Haha thanks, nice to hear my hard work is visible to others as well''
''Thanks, I do my best'' *humble*
''What can I say? I love to workout'' *slightly smug and jokingly*

>>40157272
why does your dick have a zip on it?

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/fit/ you've pretty much been a dad to me with your advice so far. this seems like a semi appropriate thread to ask so here:

A thicc qt is super insistent I go get drunk with her this weekend. I have no real experience with girls and anytime I've gotten attention I've been oblivious to it (e.g. "bro you coulda smashed wtf why didn't you do anything"). Do you guys have any advice?

Also by thicc I mean actual thicc, not fat like some people think it means.

>>40149838
Just smile and say: "thank you, you both also look good"

>>40158621

What do you say after "no why!?!"

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>>40151062

>>40159111
First of all, trips demand that you do it.

Second and most importantly, the business of women is all about experience. Put yourself in harm's way again and again. The way to daring to do this is realizing you have worth apart from that given to you by women. Yes, most people need other people not to get depressed. We are social creatures (check out what Patrik Aspers has written on Heidegger and socio-ontology if you're into academia), and other people matter. It's just that apart form your immediate family, there are no people that are so important that your self-worth should be depending on their approval (and regarding family: if you have shit parents, have children and become a good parent).

The one thing you can do to prepare yourself is realize that not everything hangs on success with this one girl. Knowing who you are and what you like about yourself even when there are no grills around plays a big part in this. Just tell yourself before you go meet her, "If tonight turns bad, I'm still Anon, a guy who does X/likes Y and is liked by Anon's friend." Repeat it in front of the mirror if you need to. Just get rid of the pressure, I can't tell you how many times I've fucked up because I've been thinking that everything rides on getting this one evening right.

You have worth, Anon. Even if you fail with your thicc date, you're gonna make it.

t. 25-year-old who for the first time hasn't lost his sense of self despite being heartbroken.

>>40149838
This very dialogue is the only reason I decided to lift.
I'll be fucking pissed if no girls I know says it to me.

I kinda expect it though.

>>40149838

>haha thanks, I'd say you're cute too but I know you don't have a penis. Nothing personnel

>>40150000
it looks like noone in this pic is enjoying themself

>>40151086
I feel bad that nobody replied to you /pol/ heres a (You)

>>40159138
Lol why would they say no to me? Do you forget to just be confident bro?

>>40159265
You're probably not here any more anon, I wrote that before heading to the gym so I didn't get to reply to you at the time. But thank you for your advice, it's very helpful in helping to alleviate the nervousness a bit.

>>40155174
underrated post

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>>40158961

>>40159111
jerk off a lot before hand so you're not a one-pump-chump and make sure you know how to munch that delicious wizard sleeve.

>>40159615
kek

>>40149838
"I know."
Then turn around and proceed to ignore them for the whole night.

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>>40149838
Is that the ghost of Micheal Jackson on the right?
>yup

>>40149838
Gee thanks, and somehow you two look exactly the same.

>>40151987
Is that a reference to the site's four leaf clover?

>>40160750
wow so alpha

>>40150412
> ex of 8 years dumped me for her coworker
>I start hooking up with hotties 10 years younger than her that blow her away in the sack
>everyone telling me I'm a catch and she blew it and will come crawling back for me to blow off
>tfw she's actually happy with her new bf for 2 years now and I've caught HPV and HSV1

Wish I was making this up

>>40160909
haha yeah bro fuck girls right who wants a long term monogamous relationship anyway!

let's keep fucking these trashy sluts until we get the big one

It still hurts

>>40160926
The girls I banged weren't even that trashy, and were really fun to hang out with, could've had a relationship but different place in life than me. But yah they had asympomatic STIs

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>>40150033

>>40159111
jesus christ just do it. jack off beforehand so you're not nervous and just get drunk and see where it takes you. ik it sucks hearing the "stop thinking and just do it" thing but it really works. go get it.

also post pics if she's rly thiccc

>>40161110
>gets hpv
>not trashy

pick uno anon

>>40150513
iktf bro

>have major oneitis
>move past oneitis eventually, lift and improve myself over the past 1.5 years
>see her at Amsterdam central station recently
>she's gotten fat
>she's actually gotten fat, a girl i fell for that studied nutrition and dietetics got fat. top kek.

>know she saw me, she tried to look down when i pulled my surprised face upon seeing her stature.

>start to review her in my head again, used to think she was pretty (i'm a sucker for pretty eyes) with a rocking body and good fashion
>realize she just had a good body, knew how to do her makeup properly and how my fashion sense was just shit. she just wears black/grey/white well fitting stuff, nothing special about it.

feelsgoodbreh. i don't even dislike her or wish bad things upon her, this was one hell of an ego boost though.

>>40150033
Am I autistic for not realizing this was a bad way to handle the situation? I had to use context clues from other anons roasting this post.

Fuck me man. I have two girls who want my dick but I swear im not autistic to make a move.

>>40149838
>"yeah my muscles have got big"
>"but my cock has shrunk"

Thanks you got big too =^D

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>>40151237
>someone is different from me
>hahaha Americans are so dumb what a bunch of fat cucks right guys?
literally every board

>>40161921
it's not even that bad desu. the problem for these people is largely the fact that you're buying their drink. which isn't even that big a deal depending on your former relations with them / how far the night has progressed. when i drink i start handing out drinks because i want everyone to have a good time for example.

a large part of /fit/ just seems to think that women and social interactions are like those chatwheel dialogue games where 1 subperfect answer means you failed at the entire conversation.

basically just don't be autistic about it and this would have been okay

>>40161982
haha fatty

>>40149838
>being intimidated by two 7/10s wearing makeup to hide their insecurities.

>>40161988
fucking wordfilter

>>40162017
They've also never done a days hard graft in their lives and have never experienced pushing through the physical threshold when lifting weights or the hardships of being a man. Why would you feel anxiety

>>40161733
Virtually every person who is sexually active gets HPV at least once in their life, bro

>>40149838
>you're not just saying that to get in my pants, are you?
Has worked literally everytime a gril flirts with me

>>40149838
I went from pudgy weakling to 10%bf. I get no mires at all when I wear long sleeves.

Feels good to bust out the polos in the spring though.

Also I'm scared to talk to women who are viable sexual partners. Girls I don't wanna fuck I get along just fine with.

>>40150537
Underrated

This is why you faggots can't even

>>40159920

WHAT DO YOU SAY THOUGH

I have crippling social autism please

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>>40151086
>The current Mr.World is a Pajeet

>>40161988
When girls ask me to buy them a drink I'll get myself a beer and a glass of water with lemon, and tell them it's a vodka water. The ones who leave weren't worth it, and the ones who stay don't notice.

>>40162450
I don't get it anon, what's the point you're making, Is It some sort of inside joke?

>>40162450
I think he's getting at that he only fucks girls too drunk to tell the difference between water and vodka

>>40162476
Girls aren't smart. You give them a water and tell them it's a "vodka water," which is a very drinkable drink, and they won't notice.

If the girl leaves immediately upon receiving the drink, she was only using you.

If she stays and talks, odds are she's legitimately interested in you.

>>40149931
I think it's highly likely that Varg at the bare minimum frequents /pol/

>>40162611
This is fedora level pua shit lmao

>>40162821
Nah m8, you end up holding all the power in the situation. It's like asspennies. No matter what the girl says or does, she's just drinking a water.

>>40162043

bless

>>40149838
the trick is not letting girls talk to you this way in the first place

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>>40149838
For you.

>>40150000
Every male in that picture is so fucking ugly