Well, I finally did it - I finally had gay sex. And, because

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Well, I finally did it - I finally had gay sex. And, because I'm not out yet, I need to share it with strangers on the internet.
It was almost like an out of body experience. I lost all control as I kissed him in public. Next thing I know, we're back at his place. It felt raw - primal even - as we quickly undressed each other. It was like I was driven by instinct as we had what was probably the most passionate sex I've ever had.
I tried both topping and bottoming, and I have to admit, my expectations were entirely wrong. At no point did I ever feel emasculated. In fact, I felt more like a man than I ever have with women. Even when I was bottoming, the way he moaned, the way I wrapped my legs around him driving him closer, I felt in control.
He fell asleep in my arms afterwards, and I can't express how empowered I felt. It was completely different than how I imagined it would be. It didn't feel how I thought "gay" would feel. I felt like more of a man than I've felt in years.
Seriously, I feel so silly for stressing about and suppressing my attraction to men all these years. My self esteem would have been so much higher if I just allowed myself to have sex with men sooner.
Now to work on coming out to my friends and family. Wish me luck!