Never excersized in my life. I decided it'd be best to be

what body

>>39981322
lift me up and down on your dick

>>39981322
1 x HRT
5 x buy panties
1 x post boipucci pics

>>39981322
Geez man, just do any begginer routine, just read the sticky. BULK THE FUCK UP faggot

>>39981322
>READ STICKY

Okay man I'ma lay it all out for you.
>Do SS
>Bulk with an excess 500 calories a day

That's it. Now here's the tertiary stuff you'll want to implement over time.

>Full body stretch 3+ times a week
>Learn basic anatomy of the superficial muscles you'll be working. (biceps, triceps, traps, quads, glutes, shoulderblade muscles, spinal erectors.
When you start lifting you don't really know what specific muscles you're working, only the general groups. aka squats will make your legs and back burn. Over time you'll start to feel individual muscle groups more than others; you'll feel your Teres major or your hip flexors. Knowing the actual muscles will allow you to pinpoint which muscles need work far more efficiently.

Now here's the most important thing in here.
>Just act on the first 2: bulking and basic SS. Action will teach you far more than any more questions will. The information I've given you is all you'll need for a while. More info won't help near as much as action and learning your bodies needs.

Story time
>I started lifting, and heard repeatedly that I'd need to stretch. It makes lifting easier, makes you feel great, makes you agile. I believed this, and wanted to stretch, but I didn't. I'd put it off till tomorrow, which never came. Over 3-5 months my noob gains gave me a ton of new muscle, and my body hurt like a motherfucker. My shoulder girdle hurt all the time, my inner thigh screamed when I squatted. I couldn't live like this anymore, I had to stretch. 4 days in it was day and night. I felt great. 2 weeks in, I felt amazing. Then I stopped. Why? no more pain, no more motivation. It wasn't until 6 months later I started again.

Moral of the story? Knowledge alone won't get you to act. You need some impetus to get you moving. Right now, you have all the information you need, your issue is a lack of action. JUST GO LIFT

>>39981443
Not OP, but what stretching routine did you use at the time?

>>39981465
http://phraktured.net/starting-stretching.html

You're skinny. Your muscles are almost showing, so you really don't have much fat. That's good. But you're also probably weak as shit. You need to do literally only two things. Start doing a barbell program and start eating 500 extra calories on top of what you currently eat. Those are two very simple commands, and if you do them, you will get stronger and bigger. Of course there's more to it than that. I would pick 5x5 stronglifts or 5/3/1 by Jim Wendler. The only other thing I would add is to go on youtube and make sure you fully understand the barbell movements. Be able to recite from memory how exactly to do them just like in the videos but without the videos. And then the only other caveat is your diet of 500 extra calories should have a decent amount of protein. Try to hit at least 100g of protein a day on top of eating more than you do. Do these and you'll get somewhere kid.

>>39981322
You look like you were raised in an asteroid belt colony

DO NOT DO SS

Look man, you're skinny as shit. You need to clean bulk on 300-500 extra calories a day, and you need to work out a lot, like 5-6 days a week with solid volume.

You need to focus on your

>delts
>lats
>triceps
>biceps
>UPPER chest
>legs

In that order. Do a PUSH PULL LEGS routine and do it twice a week with 1 rest day. Don't max out on any lift, just lift 3x8-12 for each exercise and definitely include accessory work, not just heavy compounds.

>>39981340
This anon

>>39981322
At least you have a nice dick

SS + Gomad and aim for 1/2/3/4 for next year

>>39982469
Aww yiss his 5lb curls and 45lb bench press will surely get the body he needs. Ignore him OP. Do any beginner LP and eat. SS is good if you read the damn book

>>39981322
do starting strength or a whole body routine broken up to hit diff muscles on diff days

>>39982469
>>39981443
OP here(got busy and had to leave)
I actually eat way more calories than j should. Bulking has never really worked for me through food.

Would upper body or lower body focusing be better?

>>39981322
Try swimming for a couple of months, if you can, before SS.

>>39983135
You overestimate you calorie intake or have a bad diet, I've been there.
Or maybe you have a digestive problem, but then I can't help you.

>>39983135

Track your calories, they don't work like you're implying.

>>39982497
That bulge starts way too high. He stuffed something in his man panties

SS × GOMAD

>>39981322
I like your body and you can get decently strong without bulking a ton, just eat healthy and don't do stupid exercises.
>>17018018

>>39983175
I legit have never tried to swim in my life. I have no idea how.
>>39983216
No stuffing what so ever
.>>39983259
What do you recommend I avoid? What's the "stupid excersizes"

>>39983275
>no stuffing
post pic from side view then
cause i smell bs

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>>39983286

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Pushups
Chin ups
Sit ups
Squats
Calf Extensions
Planks

All that can be done in your local playground, don't mind the people staring they're just bitches hating on your mad gains

Pic related, it's my dream girl

>>39983304
oh shit
okay
damn

...more...?

>>39983316
That actually shouldn't be a major issue for me. Despite being 23, I constantly get mistaken for 16. So I can just go to the local junior high by my house after school sessions are out and use their rails.
>>39983340
Why are you on my junk?

Stats, OP?

>>39983369
Age:23
Height: 5'7" 1/2
Weight: 115
Arm: 32
Chest: 34
Neck: 14

I just had a physical exam yesterday so these are accurate

>>39983304
Stop posting your boner, bro. You don't need to do that here. Guess it'll get the homos attention though.

>>39983359
>Why are you on my junk?
rather your junk be on my but...

so is that a no on more pics?

>>39981322
You look EXACTLY like me when I started 3 months ago. Like scary looking same.

>>39983304
Even our dicks are the same size

>>39983425
>>39983340
>>39983286
>>39983216
>>>/hm/

>>39983359
Also, EAT YOUR FUCKING WHEATIES BOY
By that I mean oatmeal, without Oat and Whey bro you got no game

>>39983408
Don't worry, I won't be posting anymore. That one guy just didn't believe it was real. It's flaccid in this image though.
>>39983425
No. It's not that type of thread

>>39983446
Yeah. I don't go to /hm/ not my cup of tea. I may look like a twink, but I'm straight

>>39983458
>It's flaccid
it's clearly hard lol

>>39983458
post like one good pic on imgur and link it here?
I'll gladly fuck off

>>39983496
Fag pls go

>>39983476
No it is t, it's just tight fitting trunks. I'm not one of those people who try to brag. I couldn't care less about my dick, but it had just gotten out of the shower and I was cold when I took the pic

>>39983431
Maybe we should comoare dicks together? It's so difficult to measure by yourself, holding both a ruler and the shaft. It would be much easier if you held my package while i meassure. I will of course return the favor

5x5 + GOMAD

>>39983507
lmao wtf are u talking about
you have a bulging erection in the pic

keep dreaming kiddo

>>39983496
>>39983509
No! This Is not a thread about my dick. This is a thread about helping me start a routine to actually have a body worth showing people and to not be as embarrassingly weak as I currently am( I can't lift more than like 30 pounds)

>>39983503
Use this as reference >>39983503

>>39983531
eat more and READ THE STICKY

>>39983532
Meant for
>>39983509

>>39983531
Yes it is. Post it on /soc/ so we can see it. Soft and hard.

>>39983531
>posts his sexy bulge
>hee hee this isn't about my dick you silly boys~

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>>39983523
Ok, literal last time I will ever show a pic in this thread. This is from the exact same moment(I took the pics by recording a video on my phone and making screen shots later) you can clearly see it's a flaccid penis that is bent downwards. Not hard, and not big in the slightest

>>39981322
Nice anime pose OP

>>39983531
Do you get enough sunshine, you are pale. You might need some more D

>>39983563
I live in California and get a ton of fun, I just don't tan very well. I mostly burn.

>>39983560
Sorry, I still don't believe you. Post hard and soft on /soc/ and then we'll get you jacked.

This thread is why I laugh at /fit/. I feel so much less gay every time I visit this shit board and I post CD stuff of myself on /cuteboys/.

>>39983560
You have a movie? Why don't you post it so we know what body type you have and what exercises you need.

>>39983574
Yeah. Not the reactions I was looking for. I'm only on my underwear because it shows my body to a good extent to get the best advice

>>39983560
now it's just semi hard
completely different placement in underwear

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>>39983618
So do you just have really big balls or something? Which is correct, A, B or C?

>>39983618
True, you totally didn't highlight your bulge at all and you totally didn't immediately post more pics after being asked by some random faggot.

>>39983650
And you totally didn't post about your dick a dozen times.

Fucking faggot in denial.

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>>39983643

>>39983675
I MUST KNOW OR I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP TONIGHT.

>>39983664
My dick is nothing to talk about. There's nothing of interest. I just don't like being accused of lying.
>>39983642
It's just a different camera angle, nothing changed

>>39983699
ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION. A, B OR C?

>>39983699
pictures don't lie tho hahaha

Good thread OP

>>39983650
Who are you calling random?

>>39983700
Probably c

>>39983700
>>39983808
if he's not hard it'd be A
only explanation

Holy shit my sides. This thread is gold.

>>39983700
Here's your fucking /soc/ thread, back to actual on topic discussion PLEASE

>>39983643
fuckkk I want to nose that bulge up and down and inhale his scent and then help him with his lifting routine, no homo

>>39983884


>>>/soc/24806742

>>39983897
and the poll saysssss it's a boner. case closed

>>39983884
So it was all balls then, got it.
Start off eating a +1000 calorie bulk (focus on fruits and proteins).
Pull ups, push ups, get some light dumbells to start and do curls, OHP and walk lunges. Deadlifts will help but you're trying to get your upper body strong at first. Also, do light cardio as warm up.

>>39983977
While deadlifts are a really good exercise you have to take into account that you might scratch those big balls at the end of the lift. It would probably be better to start with stiff legged deadlifts.

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>>39981322
>What routines would you suggest I avoid doing with my current body?
Avoid? None. Pick one and stick to it to completion.

>>39983135
>I actually eat way more calories than j should
>Bulking has never really worked for me through food.
Pick one. You're not magically altering the laws of physics

>Would upper body or lower body focusing be better?
No, both would be optimal because you're not an amputee.

>>39983275
>What do you recommend I avoid? What's the "stupid excersizes"
Ignore him, you're clearly stupid and naive and you're going to make plenty of mistakes regardless. Just pick a routine and stick to it to completion.
ITT: Thinly disguised attention whore pretending to be interested in fitness

>>39984068
A lot of good information. Thank you.

>>39984068
>ITT: Thinly disguised attention whore pretending to be interested in fitness
Yeah little cock slut is showing everything in the /soc/ thread.

>>39982469
>telling a complete beginner to do PPL when he could do any full body routine and get the same results in half the sessions

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>>39984107
No worries. Without knowing your goals nobody can tell you a routine. My go-to for anyone is a basic strength platform though, I prefer Arnolds Golden Six instead of SS because it's simpler and more consistent for noobs, but your aims may vary. Either will give you a really good platform of strength and muscle to do whatever you want with

>>39984107
You deserve it OP.

>>39984159
Well preferably I wouldn't want to be a twig anymore. I have accepted the fact that I'll never be beefy in any regard, but I at least want to be physically fit instead of looking like preop captain America

READ THE STICKY REEEEEEEEEEEE

FUCKING NYR

SAGE

>>39983135
Op is you are underage or have yet to hit puberty. Eat at about a 1k surpluse. The younger the more, also make sure to count calories. My average TDI was about 1000-1500 at most I now eat at about 4000 clean bulk. Noob gains plus a solid bulk you will see massive increase in strength and size for first month or so then finally stall.

>>39981340
>1 x post boipucci pics
>1x

Fuck no, go to failure

Op was talking about about a body, but he seems to have chosen the wrong picture as I only see a skeleton.

>>39981322
Don't go to the gym, make a killing on live webcams you sexy twink

>>39985417
Literally this

>>39981322
what brand boxer briefs are those?

>>39981338
>No homo.

>>39981322
Nothing. Just do a lower weight. Thats how you get strong.

>>39983824
>>39983808
It was A, op just has low hanging balls.
>source: /soc/ thread where he jacked off for us earlier tonight