Good evening, gents. r/fitness said that if I want actual advice

> reddit the post

2/10 made me reply

>r/fitness

I think that was where I got permabanned for telling someone to kill themself. Didn't know that was against the rules. Seemed excessive.

>>39901748
Kek

Goddamn Poe's law

A little too much but good effort

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>>39901564

>>39901564
Pretty good bait. Lost me at "Let's just say that I have a problem with authority"

Pretty good, otherwise

It's not bait, it's satire.

Just for fun, let's take you at your word.

First off, read the fucking sticky. If you're a skelly, you need to bulk. If you're a fatty, you need to cut. If you're skinnyfat, eat around maintenance for now and use your own judgement as you go.

You need to lift heavy ass weights and get heavier. Even if you "just want big arms lol", the best and most efficient way to do that is to increase your compounds. Bench, ohp, chins, squats, and deadlifts is what will get you there. Don't over think it, just pick a 3x a week routine you like that focuses heavy compounds. Whether that be SS, SL, Greyskull, one of the many 5x5s etc. It's not worth arguing over so just pick your favorite. One single thing I would definitely add is dips or dumbbell bench. Chest is a bitch to grow and is obviously important to your physique. DB bench is the best chest exercise and greatly compliments your barbell bench. Curls and shit are fine, just don't go nuts.

Do something sustainable and consistent. Don't do some crazy ass diet where you eat imported Himalayan starleaves or some shit. Just avoid junk food and soda. Get real food and count what matters which is protein, fiber, and obviously calories. Eat your fruits and vegetables too. Indulge yourself here and there but eat good *most* of the time and indulge yourself here and there without going nuts. You can have some ice cream, but don't eat 3000 calories of the shit. Let your cheat meals fit within your calories and protein. This is a SUSTAINABLE model. The ridiculous fad diets fail because they're frustrating and hard to stick with even if they are actually quite healthy.

>>39902090
lol you responded to that

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>>39902108
s..should I not have?

>>39902221
It helped me, so you helped at least one person. Seems worth it.

>>39902221
You're not me>>39902090 wtf?

>>39902221
Not OP but that was great advice thank you very much anon

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>>39901564

>>39901564
>persay
It's per se. Also read the sticky.

>falling for b8

>>39902090
>imported Himalayan starleaves
Don't talk shit about muh Himalayan starleaves, I lost 100kg eating those.

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>>39901564

>>39902090
To add to this get a calorie counting app to help you out for the first few weeks till you get the hang of shit

It will not only tell you that you are 1500 calories of pizza in a single fucking meal like a whale at planet fitness, but it will also tell your dumbass when you are not eating enough which is super important

>>39902090
Why dumbbell bench as opposed to flies?

>>39901564
I'm operating on so many layers of irony, that I actually found OP's pic related a bit funny

>>39902401
Yes I am.

>>39901564
batin' to this bait well done op