>Already ate my entire monthly calorie budget It's gonna

> just ate two tubs of peanut butter
just go on without me

>>39867915
i slacked off on the holidays and gained back 8 pounds, no more pussyfooting around though im down 40 and dont want to go backwards

>>39867941
>>39867915
>

>had sex with 3 sloots

abstinent until waifu goal destroyed

2017 is worse year

>>39867915

Is such a thing even possible?

If you're shoving tens of thousands of calories into your face, and you're not already at "firemen need to cut out a wall" level of obese, woukdn't you just start shitting partially digested food out uncontrollably before eventually passing out from the effort?

>>39867961
My monthly budget was 45,000 and I blew it.
I'm sticking to it but it'll be hard.

>>39867986
How do you eat 45,000 calories in not even two days?

I don't.. you'd die.

>>39867994
I'm not here to be judged

>>39868006
No, you fucking idiot.

You literally cannot consume 45,000 calories in less than 2 days.

It's.. not even humanly possible. You'd literally die. Why are you rusing me like this?

>>39868019
I drank a carton of double cream with breakfast today

>>39867986
It's okay OP if you could handle 45000 kcals in a day you're probably setting your limit too low. I'll bet you could lose weight on a 6000 kcal diet. Try that instead.

>>39868037
My new years resolution was 1500 a day though

>>39868031
I don't care? The woman trying to be the world's fattest can still only consume 30,000 in a day.

There's no way, no possibility in any variation of any existing universe that you ate 45,000 kcal in one day.

>>39868046
just do some cardio. it should even out

>>39868046
You won't make it. Losing weight is about accumulating small, reasonable changes to your lifestyle that you can keep up with permanently.

>>39868050
I wasnt trying it just happened

>>39868051
I'll walk to circle k later

>>39868053
I dont like what you're saying.

>>39868061
NO, IT'S LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE

WHY AM I FALLING FOR THIS

THE FATTEST MAN IN THE WORLD COULD STILL ONLY EAT 22,000 A DAY

YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU CONSUMED TWICE WHAT A 812 LB MAN DOES?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2140307/Keith-Martin-Horrifying-life-worlds-fattest-man.html

>>39868077
Not OP but
It's clearly a joke. Why are you this dense?

>>39868077
I wish it was impossible

>>39868082
Probably drugs.

>>39868091
I'll chew your fucking nuts off you piece of shit, don't play with me.

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>>39867941
>mfw one of my suitemates eats peanut butter sandwiches
To top it off he eats white bread too

>>39868099
I'm not playing. I need help

>>39868101
I had like 3 earlier

>>39868108
Tell me everything you ate in a day to hit 45k calories and I'll help you.

Mostly because I need to know what you pull out of your ass from google to hit that number.

Alternatively, because of this fucking ruse cruise I hope you never make it.

>>39868115
I had 2 tubs of peanut butter and a quart of double cream for breakfast.
Half a bucket of chicken and a coke for dinner
I've been snacking on chocolate and drinking more cream all day

>>39868130
Alright, I'm going to ballpark this and fucking math your dick off.

Let's just take general items.

Jif Creamy Peanut Butter - serving size 32g, servings per container 35, calories 190

That's 6,650. x2 is 13,300.

Heavy whipping cream - service size 15ml, servings per container 32, calories 50. Fucking with that to make it a quart brings us to 3,153 calories for a grand total of 16,453.

So let's just assume 1 of each original recipe chicken from a KFC bucket, that's 860. I'll give you benefit of the doubt and put it at 1000 for a half bucket.

17,453. Assuming you're a fat tumblrite retard, I'll even give you a 2 liter bottle of coke.

18,293 kcal.

That's 26,707 kcal to put on in this time.

That's 8.5 quarts of heavy cream. Let's go half and half since you're full of SHIT.

So 4.25 quarts of heavy cream. That's 13,400.25

That's 13,306.75 kcal of chocolate. 1 hershey bar is 220 kcal.

That's 60.5 hershey bars to hit the 45,000 kcal mark.

Get the FUCK OUTTA HE'A

>>39868303
The tubs of peanut butter were the big ones from costco and it was double cream

>>39867915
>tfw just finished my yearly meal of 728000 calories
Thinking about jumping up to one giant meal every 10 years what do you guys think

>>39868321
KILL. YOURSELF.

>>39868335
I'm trying to improve my health so I can live longer

>>39868338
It's not working, you knocked back a month worth of food in a 16 (optimistically) hour period.

Try again next year, fatty.

How are you baiting so many retards OP?

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>>39868338
>I'm trying to improve my health so I can live longer

>Eat an insane amount of food in one day.

>get upset when someone tells you to off yourself for being a fatty

Fucking do it op.

>>39868346
I only weigh 180 pounds man.

>>39868356
I'm not that fat I'm only 180 pounds

>>39868359
How tall?

>>39868365
I'm 5'8

>>39868357
>>39868359
You're a fucking liar.

I'll skin you ALIVE

>>39868371
You're a fat dyel manlet.

>>39868379
I'm trying to get better

>>39868378
Why would I lie about that?

>>39868385
You ate more than the world's fattest people.

Almost more than them combined.

You will NEVER make it. I can tell you that right now, definitively, forever.

>>39868403
It was an accident

>>39868406
No. An accident is trusting a woman who tells you she's on birth control.

Eating 45k calories is the furthest thing from an accident.

>>39868422
I'm a virgin though so I dont know this

>>39868428
I hope you perish.

>>39868439
Come on I didnt do anything

>>39867915

So? Eat 43k tomorrow, 42k the day after that... by the 31st you'll be at 14k, and then by around the second week of February you'll be down to 5-6k.

If you go over one day, return to the previous day's goal until you can move on. Your body will try to fucking kill you if you go from 45k to 1.5k overnight, you silly cunt. Give your stomach and endocrine system time to adjust, or they'll conspire against you to cuck you out of losing weight.

Drink a glass of olive oil and have three chickens for breakfast instead of that literal garbage. EAT YOUR PROTEINS FIRST, THEY TRIGGER SATIATION CUES. Then your fats. Carbs are LAST. You could binge on steamed & roasted vegetables literally the rest of the entire day and you'd still be under 45k, pal.

You can do this. I know you're stuck in a body that wants to stay fat. I know you're hopeless and weak. I know you're miserable, and everything seems out of your reach. But I'm telling you you can fucking do it.

You can do it.

Fuck giving up. Head to the grocer's tomorrow morning and buy only what you'll eat that day. Until 2018, don't keep food anywhere you could binge on it.

You can do this.

>>39867915

>95,000 calories in one day

you're a big guy.

>>39867915
Is this a forced meme, are niggas posting in a troll thread, or do you really keep cheating by eating whole tubs of pb then posting about it on 4chun? Kek

>>39868455
drinking olive oil just sounds nasty though

>>39868463
It's fun to pretend someone in the world does this.

>>39868487
I'm not pretending

>>39867915
>fapped 4 time this year
Whelp, there's always 2018

>>39868378
>I'll skin you ALIVE
That'd be hot

>>39867915
Fucking how?
Did you eat an entire pig?

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>>39868091
>>39868099

>>39868371
im ir exact stats and dyel too liarface

nice going baiting that sperg though.

he unironically started doing math kek

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> this thread

are you people fucking retarded

> mfw "I'll chew your fucking nuts off you piece of shit, don't play with me."

OP, just skip all meals until March, you can make it!

>>39868019
~4.5 kg of chocolate doesn't seem that hard

>>39869990
Try it. The first 5 bars are great. The next five bars, not so much. Then you look over and see 50 more bars of chocolate. Welcome to hell.

>>39868101
>>39867941
Serious questions, is peanut butter good for me if i am a skelly trying to get gainz? I buy the kind without any added sugar.

>>39869985
I'm avoiding them until february.

>>39868101
This is what i do... but i eat it with wheat bread
Also this >>39870730

>>39869990
that theobromine pump? bruh.

srs heart gainz