I cant wait to go to the gym for the first time on sunday What

>>39842668
When you walk in make sure you find the biggest dude and slap him real hard on the ass. Its tradition for first time lifters to do this.

>>39842690
Thought this was a troll.
>First week of January
>Join local Goodlife
>See this happening 1-2 times a day when I'm there
>I did not partake in ass slapping
>I am a friendless gym phaggot
>Ass slappers are all part of the cool lifting group now and have made 2x the gains I have in the same year

>>39842706
DYEL here
I want this to be real

>>39842668
Elliptical.

>>39842668
Heres a few basics everyone probably already knows, Always wipe everything down after you use it if you think you might have left any sweat on a machine. When going to the bench press if someone is on it, politely wait behind the bench and announce you are on-deck until they are finished. Do cardio if you get exhausted or get too sore lifting, that way you wont be that guy just waiting around.

>>39842706
Yeah I fucked up too. I went in and didn't look around enough. Ended up slapping the second biggest dude on the ass.

I've made no progress this year and every time I walk into the gym everyone starts screaming "Low Test" at me. Went to the doctors and I have been diagnosed with overwhelming hypogonadism.

>>39842706
>go to gym in the early morning
>almost no one there besides a couple old women
I've been DYEL since

pick your nose and smear it on the headrest

>>39842668
Take an empty barbell, hold it over your head, like the top position of a ohp, and run on a treadmill

tip the receptionist, don't drink water between sets, don't wear basketball shorts
you'll be fine

Who cares? Just do cardio, you'll stop in a week or two anyways. You'll never gonna make it, fat fucker!