I'm a fat fuck who needs to buy an elliptical. Any

Don't. Buy a decent used road bike instead. It'll probably be cheaper, more interesting to use and still not stress your joints too much.

>>39808743
this

or get a rowing machine if you REALLY need a machine

trust me, rowing is the shit

>>39808732
The curve is neat

>>39808732
You'll buy it, use it a few times then quit.

Take the money you would waste on this and do the following:

1. Join a gym - I don't care which one but you need a place with other people because working out by yourself at home gets boring real quick

2. Create a diet plan. Nothing too crazy at first, but you should do one good thing a week and add on to it.

Week 1 - Stop drinking anything besides water and black coffee, you do not need to drink your calories.

Week 2 - No more fast food, in addiciton to no more caloric drinks from week 1.

etc.

Use whatever cardio machines you want to at the gym, but use them super easy. Don't go crazy. Do 5 minutes TOTAL your first day. take a day break, go back and do 7 minutes, repeat

You can do this, but you have to do it right.

>>39808732
Don't bother. Years ago when I was 20 stone I forked out a fair amount for one that could supposedly take up to 25 stone. A month or so of doing 1 hour sessions on it every other day and it fucking broke.

In the end I joined the gym and carried on losing by using their commercial grade ellipticals, but homemade ones are basically fucking garbage unless you weight 10 stone and use them for 30 minutes a week.

>>39808743
>>39808912
>You'll buy it, use it a few times then quit.

This. I absolutely hate to be negative but it's true. Your money is better spent elsewhere. With a gym membership, at least you'll still have access to machines like that, along with other equipment. Who knows, maybe you'll make some friends/workout buddies.

As above, buy a bike or a rowing machine if you can.

If you're not interested, and want to go elliptical anyway.. wait at least a few months. The new year resolution retards will be selling their unused equipment by march-april time for half the price.

But yeah, ellipticals are a good way of making lazy people think they are doing more than they are.

The calories burned figures and distance are meaningless on them.