>Gym plate warmer raised the tax and tipping fee >Someone

how much do you tip the strippers in da klub ¿

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>gym twink out of service

Fucking niggers and their BBC blowing out the gym twink every other week.

>>39749654
>Tfw gym doesn't have an automatic legomill
>Tfw no gymbro to drop lego bricks for me
>Tfw can't do cardio and mental strength at the same time

>go to gym last saturday to set new DL PR
>saturday is now refugee only day
>get shamed for being a german
>have to tip the town rapist before I can savely drive home

>>39750745
Did the same mistake last week
>Don't have any cash on me
>Can't pay the town rapist
>Call my wife's daughter to pick me up

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>not allowed to use the gym twink until I pass a penis inspection

>have to write an essay before every set

I hate gold's gym

>>39749367
>Squat mascot

kek

>dumping colostomy bag in locker room after receptionist gives me funny look

>new plate dispenser only accepts credit cards

>>39752881
Dude, I wish. The plate vending machine at my gym still only accepts coins.

Nothing more embarrassing than a handful of quarters spilling out of your pockets when you're going ass to grass.

>>39752986
>CURRENT year plus one
>not having gym tokens

>>39754621
Gym tokens will still fall out

forget to bring my gloves to the gym, trying to hide my callouses
>sir, please put those away. you are intimidating others
everyone around me is wearing gloves, some are way cooler than others
in walks a skinnyfat, pale skinned sand-surfer, the place goes silent
he reaches in to his back pocket and pulls out a pair of yard-working gloves
immediately surrender my bench to him
load up 4 10's on each side of the bar and wish him shalom

>new power rack in my gym
>finally can squat in 4K
FeelsGoodMan

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Lifting waits because the gym isn't open yet

>>39750785
And then what?

>my gym have cheap bars that can only handle 1000lbs
how the fuck am i supposed to benchpress in this shitty place
its dangerous

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>squat rack bed pan always filled with pajeet diarrhea
>have to use bench bed pans instead
The gym smells only of curry now

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>grabbed the towel a little too rough from the guy that hands them out
>tells me he doesn't like my attitude
>lose my water privilege

fuck bros when will it get better? i already apologized for my behavior

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>tfw plates get stuck in the plate vending machine and ran out of gym tokens

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>>39749654
>>39751892
>gym twink
my fucking sides.

>>39751932
>tfw 1000 word squat essay due tomorrow
>tfw only wrote 800 words

how fucked am i?

>>39754633
>He hasn't purchased a token holder™

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>Someone is using all the left arm dumbbells

>forget that I had put in two quarters instead of three for the timed barbell
>starts shocking me mid press and I crush my thrachea

It's all so fucked...

>ate two pieces of pizza instead of one
>forgot only black card members get unlimited slices
>$50 fine charged to my account

>>39749367
you think that's bad

>Planet Fitness employee comes up to me mid-squat
>"Sir you have to leave, I will call the police if you don't get out now"
>confused
>"Why? What's the problem!?"
>"Your shorts are pulled down and you're exposing your ass which....uh...has something in it..."
>now I'm getting indignant
>"You've never seen a fucking squat plug before bruh? It's standard fitness gear, and it helps from clenching my ass too much during squats."

They ended up cancelling my membership and barring me from every working out there. On my way out I stole 2 5lb dumbbells though so all in all a good night.

>>39749367

libertarian paradise

>Gym vending machine on the fritz
>Plates are frozen together
>Got 4pl8 for the price of 2pl8

Fuck yeah deadlift happy hour

This meme is not funny. If you think it is funny, you should literally kys breh

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>Gym shaman hasn't blessed oly platform
>Forgot lucky horseshoe at home
>Fucked up morning prayer to Zyzz
I'm going to snap city today, aren't I

>>39755243
>gym shaman mixed the ayahuasca too strong
>takes entire age of universe to complete one rep

>>39755254
for you

>>39755254
>squat shaman cursed me after I forgot to sacrifice my gains to Az'lulu

This thread is great

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>forgot to tip my qt3.14 spotter
>now she wont spot me anymore and I have to go for the free spotter that comes with my membership
>mfw it's a fat neckbeard that always touches the bar too soon when I bench

>>39755254

>tfw no aeons of mind-muscle connection

>watching old dude doing isometrics holds at the gym
>busting his ass trynna reach 10seconds on each one.

>I turn to him so he notices me
>"H-hold me"
>Later on he shows me his protein shaker and I help him make some protein in the back room.

Lifting has done wonders for my confidence.

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>Tfw when only gold gym membership
>Didn't read before signing
>Raped in showers by platinum members
>Hobble out of pocket room crying
>Forgot my bag

>>39756768
Did you tip the rapists?

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>last faggot using the barbell forgot to rotate the pl8s

>>39756768
fucking gold plebs

>have the black membership card
>can relax in the back room of the gym
>have a PT that works out for me and hands me my gains
>receive high quality gains while staying natty

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>>39756780
I forgot

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>Tfw the gym's plates are made out of the wrong isotope of iron
>Tfw only Platinum members have access to osmium plates

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>>39756810
Oh man you're in for it now

>>39755191
kek

>>39756643
Thank you

>>39755003
>he didn't go to an ethnogym

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>gotta go to the bank again to get another roll of quarters for the gym locker
>the resident gym shitter ia hogging the toilet paper keycard again
JUST

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>tfw I forgot to recycle the plates after squats
>got suspended from the gym for 6 months
Fuck California honestly

>>39758851
>Not using biodegradable plates

Wew lad

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>failed 1rm for cthulhu

>missed the monthyl safety meeting
>forgot I had my 5pl8 approval meeting
>mfw stuck at 4pl8 DL for another month

I got selected to be the gym twink next month.

What should I expect?

>>39754720
That was very good.

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>>39759014
To bet blown the fuck out in under 2 weeks by BBC

>i still need to bench 15lbs more to unlock the water fountain

>>39759062
Oh fuck im fucked

Lots of very big black men in my gym. I need to start stretching.

>dropped my bottle of water on the retinal scanner
>now no one can unlock the 45lbs pl8s

>>39758971
count yourself lucky anon my gym still uses plates made from recycled dumbbells

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This year's penis inspection day was actually pretty fun.

>>39755151
Fapped to that cuckold pic