ITT Tales of Gym Autism >have sorta-gymbro (we struck up a

He should've asked her "Feelin' fit, buddy?"

>>39750245
for you

>>39749072
>walking to lat pulldown machine
>hear someone clearly struggling with some weights
>40 yo Pajeet is fighting the other lat pulldown machine
>sitting parallel to the seat slightly hovering above the seat
>twisting arms back and forth while handing from the bar
>not even pulling the weight down
>switches up the form
>oh shit
>seems to be what resembles a correct lat pulldown
>NOPE
>starts standing up and down, looks kinda like squats
>still not pulling any of the weight
>smells like an Indian Buffet

the fucks with all the Ahmeds and Pajeets with shit form?

>>39749072
kek at the Jar-Jark Binks voice punchlines. I can totally imagine some fat sperg doing shit like that

>>39749072
>nigga is like 20 and it's like his sense of humor didn't develop past grade school

Implying 20yolds are not imbeciles. You're not even proper fully developed humans yet, fukboi.

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>be me
>doing curls
>6/10 cardio bunny on treadmill watching me in mirror
>I'm a 2/10 virgin
>stop mid-curl
>make eye contact
>grin like a retard
>whatareyoudoingnigger.png
>a look of complete disgust on her face
>look away at super sonic speeds
>finish set
>glance back over
>eye contact again
>she looks fucking pissed
>fuckthisshit.swf
>mumble as I walk past her
>"s-sorry"
>leave
Not that bad, right?

>>39750355
I'm pretty sure making funny jar-jar binks voices stops being funny after middle school.

>>39750436
what the fuck you cant be real? have some self respect man

>>39750436
Should've knocked her ass off the treadmill for being a cunt while you smiled at her.

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>>39750436
>s-sorry
lmao

>>39749072
>friend likes to chat up this girl at a store
>he's pretty fat and she's pretty small and fit
>he just stands there for hours and tries to talk to her while she tries to work in the store
>he brought me there to show me what she looks like
>she keeps looking around the store for things to do and tries to bring up ideas that he should go do on his day off to, presumably, get him out of the store

that was literally one of the most uncomfortable things I had to witness in my life

>>39749072
>be me
>wish I were you
>solid 5/10
>spotting gymbro on bench
>he was moving past 2pl8 and then suddenly dropped down to my shitty 1.75pl8
>see some super fucking qt looking at me and smiling
>look away because she can't be looking at me
>look back and she starts gigging and looking at me
>look away and wonder what the fuck is going on
>look back and she's talking to her friend on the bad girl machine with her pants hiked up and her shorts wonderfully shaping that butt

I don't know what the fuck happened, can someone please explain

>>39750562
She was propably making fun of your gymbro, because he needs a spotter for his pathetic 1.75pl8 bench press

>>39750619
Whew.
I'm not even sure what happened to him desu. He was ready to move up from 2pl8 and then next thing I know he's telling me he wants to drop like 30 pounds on his bench for no reason whatsoever

fucking fag

>>39749072
>Be running on treadmill after working out
>6.5/10 who sometimes mires and we sometimes small talk, arrives.
>Stands next to me and looks at me for five long seconds.
>I decide to ignore her until I finish my cardio, just a couple of minutes left, but can see her reflected on the front window.
>She starts running on the treadmill next to me.
>Finish, stop treadmill and look at her.
>"What's up?"
>"Oh, you startled me, I didn't see you there, how are you?"
>Not really interested on this girl, she has a bf who trains cardio with her from time to time, just trying to be friendly and get out of my comfort zone.
>"Fine, what are your plans for these holidays?"
>I keep a totally inexpressive face. I'm afraid if I smile my upper lip will start twitching, or worse, that it'll stick to my gum.
>Starts telling me a tedious long story about visiting some friends abroad with her bf.
>Keep nodding through all her story while keeping an inexpressive face.
>"What about you anon?"
>"I'll stay here with my parents, siblings and their kids"
>"That's cute and sounds fun!"
>"Yes. Okay, bye"
>Walk away.
>"Oh, b-bye, see ya!"

That's what happens when I try to human while sober. Fucking robot.

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I was benching yesterday and called a guy over to spot me on my working sets

>he is wearing a jacket
>he's warming up on 1 plate
>figure he's around the same level I am (benching 175lbs 5x5)
>we make small talk and I talk about what he's doing and he talks about what he's doing
>reference people like us as beginners
>later on go to squat and see him take his jacket off for his working sets and he's ripped as fuck benching 225lbs for reps

I feel embarrassed but he seemed to genuinely be a cool guy

>>39752619
*I talk about what I'm doing

*I reference people like us

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>his idea of "funny" is silly, including making a jar-jar binks voice when saying something silly. this nigga is like 20 and it's like his sense of humor didn't develop past grade school
Oh god, this used to be me. No wonder I'm vagina repellent!

>>39749072
Wowwwww dude, thought we were bros and you go and post this shit about me on 4chan of all places. Don't ask me for a spot ever again. Oh and at least I try to talk to girls you weak autistic fuck

>Drink a shake before lifting as I had no time for a proper meal
>Stomach likes to play the moonlight sonata every time I drink a shake
>Getting ready for heavy back day in Gym
>Second exercise is rows
>Set up 120kg and get ready
>Stomach is screeching apache war crys
>Nevertheless begin lifting
>Let out a horrible fart right after my third rep
>Fart so loud I heard it through my headphones at full max & feel my asshole burning
>Two Cardiobunnys with thick asses few metres away from me

>Feel proud of my lift and don't actually care

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>>39750436
>s-sorry

>>39749072
Hey at least he went for it, mirin confidence.

>>39752740
If you're Brian, what's my name

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>>39753058
As if "Pussy Slayer" Brian would bother to learn your name

>>39750245
(REFERENCE TO THE FOUR LEAF CLOVER)

>>39750436
Lost it at 'not that bad, right?'

Pure gold

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>>39750436
>s-sorry

Pretty good

>>39752619
>225 for reps
>impressive

Now that's funny

>>39750562
>>be me
>>wish I were you

If I were you, I'd want to be me too.

>>39752814
Yeah but now that he got rejected his confidence is going to hit rock bottom

>b-but im working out
>i-i thought i was making good progress
>i-i thought girls liked guys that are getting fit
>FUCKING WHORES REEEEEEEE

>>39750245
Just lucky, bro.

> First starting out
> scan the little gym card ID thingy
> 8/10 /fit/ qt girl scans the cards and is always friendly
> "Hi! Have a good workout anon :)"
> "good afternoon"

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>>39753227
>tfw I've never pressed 225

>>39751142
Well, it's half functional so... yeah. Also, she's the one dropping the spaghetti. Just try to smile a bit dude, don't think, just do it.

>>39753514
Kek

> Newbie
> leg day
> chicken calves
> seated calf raise machine
> 90lbs felt light
> decide to add up to 180lbs
> go to failure
> I cant move it at all
> stuck under calf raise machine
> too embarrassed to ask for help
> 5 minutes stuck under calf raise machine
> gymbro comes along asking how many sets I have left
> "oh I-m done dude. Mind helping me move the plates?"
> stand up and collapse
> Injured
> Couldnt train legs for a month or two
> not stuck under bench or squat, but stuck under the fucking seated calf raise machine
fml

>>39753593
It was 6am

>>39753604
Double kek.

>>39753594
>Machine
You fell for the meme

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>>39753594
Hahahaha!
Top kekels m8

>>39749072
Not really my autism, but other people's autism.
>Be me, just doing my workout
>Hear someone grunting
>Nice to know I'm not the only one who lets out a grunt on a hard set
>They keep grunting
>Grunting gets louder
>I swear to fucking god it sounds like gay sex
>Look over
>2 old asian dudes probably late 40s early 50s
>They're just going at it
>Sounds like in the middle of gay sex, someone got a knife shoved up their ass
>Simple lifts too
>Next day, they're doing it again
>Their whole workout which, from what I saw, consisted of pushups and standing dumbbell presses, they were renacting a gay porno
>Next day
>Doing it again
>Next day
>Again
>Next day
>They're benching with 1/5 ROM and screaming
>"Come on, 9 more. 9 more. I don't want to help you."
>"AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
>Dude actually rolls off the bench and onto his knees when he's done
>They spend the rest of my time there benching for reps like that
What the fuck is wrong with asian people? I didn't think they could be so autistic.

>>39750436
Fuck man. I read this on the john and cringed so hard I pinched a log midway.

>>39753594
>>not stuck under bench
Thanks for reminding me.

>just finished bench
>hit a new pr, feeling good
>time for incline bench
>set it up with the 25s on each side
>do my set
>add another 25 to each side
>do my set
>been plateauing at that, thought I'd try more weight just to see if I could make it a new 1rm
>put 10s on each side
>lift the bar
>oh hell no
>shit is stuck on my chest
>I actually can't lift it
>the first time I've ever been stuck under a bar and it's baby weight on the incline bench
>plenty of people around me
>refuse to ask for help
>sit up and squat the weight back into standing position
>rerack the weights
Not my best moment, but I don't feel too bad about it.

>>39753715
>>39753715
If that ever happens again, do the whole sitting up, putting the weight on the floor and superset a deadlift for 1x5 so it doesnt look like you were stuck. granted youd have to unstuck yourself pretty quick so it doesnt look like a meme

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tfw i have to hold myself back from getting a boner any time I'm doing any sort of hip stretching or deadlifting if the bar touches my dick

>>39753741
Can't. I fucked my back.
>be deadlifting incorrectly for a while
>as in kept my back straight but also kept my legs straight
>no problems, just heats my asshole up
>finally realize I've been doing it wrong and pick up the proper form
>doing everything right
>apparently the form I was previously using allowed me to move more weight than proper form so I wasn't prepared
>fuck my lower back
I haven't been able to deadlift or squat for a month. Even ab workouts hurt. I'm just trying to keep things light on my lower back for now so no diddlies or heavy squats. Of course the one I did on the incline bench was necessary.

>>39749072
If he was good-looking and asked about the sticker she would tell him that Full Metal Alchemist is her favorite show...

>>39749072
I have been wearing color coded shirts based on the day of the week in the hopes of meeting other /fitizens.

>>39750524
this sounds hilarious

>>39752689
>tfw youll never erase your past from the present you
>no ammount of social skills will fix the damage you did to your reputation

>>39753402
Hey that's me and more than half this board

>>39754639
Just move brah

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>>39750436
This can't be fucking real

>>39754575
What? explain?

>at leg press
>6,5/10 grill approaches to ask for help with something
>sees me using 120 kg which was the max capacity of that machine
>"wow you are strong"/other compliments on that issue
>"yeah I know haha"
>grinning like retard
>stop talking
>we both walk away

>>39754672
It is related to the "are you feeling fit buddy", "yah I am just a lucky guy (in reference to the 4 leaf clover for the symbol of 4chan)" meme.

>>39753715
nothing wrong with failing a set anon, especially since you know how to get out from under the bar. if you were flailing your legs and making pig squeals with a bright red face and needed the qt receptionist to come help you then youd definitely have to switch gyms

>squatting
>qt girl with 10/10 ass keeps glancing at me from the smith machine
>whatever, i need to finish this set
>after a bit she goes to the hamstring machine right next to me which no one ever uses
>whatever
>finish squats and go to stretch
>she follows me
>I lay a mat down and she lays on directly in front of me
>can't get distracted, gotta stretch
>flashes a smile at me
>avoid eye contact like my life depends on it
>eventually she gives up and leaves after about 2 minutes of stretching
>tfw I still see her at the gym and she ignores me now
>virginity secured
T-talking to girls kills gains anyway

>>39754782
Except the free after sex TEST makes you bigger

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>>39754811
Ha, enjoy losing your bodily test through ejaculation DYEL

>>39754759
Underrated

Guys will a Gym get angry if I visit multiple times in a day?

I don't have a car and my current job only has me working half the days of the week. I want to lose some weight walking first and thats been going very well and I'm consistent with it but eventually I want to put on some muscle and I've been saving money for a Gym membership. In order to go to the gym heres what I'd have to do.

>get dropped off on a day off
>get picked up when my brother/mom come home from their work.

We only have one car. The gym is around a mall complex where I live so I was planning on bringing a backpack with me and reading during the time that I'm not in the gym.

How autistic is this out of ten?

Is there any problems that you would be able to foresee?

>>39754833
Jokes on you. I dont pull out but eat the v afterwards so she can cum for the 8th time

>>39754847
there is no problem with this, a gym should be happy to see people coming in the gym frequently throughout the day, if anything its just an inconvenience for you

>>39754850
Do you sprinkle some protein powder on it before you eat it? Shit sounds gross plain

>>39754847
The plan? Not autistic. You? Very likely to have severe autism. Come on now, you got to get out of your own head.

>>39754847
You pay for a membership. You could even shower there if you dont feel like doing it at home. Its not common but you pay for it so why not

>>39754861
Just a big glass of milk afterwards

>>39754863
Nah I'm fine.

>remain virgin
>lose weight
>get semi buff
>continue to get brain gains from reading
>join marines
>spend signing bonus on my dad so he can get his cataracts fixed and he can see me become a marine
>strive to become the best marine I can be
>learn to shave with a blade
>learn how to tie my own tie
>learn German, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, Korean, French, Spanish, Greek
>learn to program
>remain fit and continue reading great books, classics, and selected literature/texts
>serve for 20+ years doing the best I can
>go to school and become a teacher
>maybe find a girl after I'm retired from the Marines
>become the best teacher I can be and help bring out the potential in every kid I can sacrificing my own personal time in order to get generational gains
>die with integrity, embraced by scholars of old, and hopefully welcomed into the gates of the holy father.

It would be pretty cool to have kids and spread on my legacy too. But I can't plan on meeting a woman who isn't a backstabbing snake and I'd rather just be a virgin than be some tramps game/way to easy military money.

Maybe at some point I'll be able to work through my trust issues with the opposite sex. I was friends with tons of people in highschool and I never bothered or creeped on any chicks, I hung out with my friends and their girlfriends on occasion but I'd always remain faithful to my friends over a chick. Most of the girls hated me and treated me like shit though so I just don't trust a lot of them. The few that were nice were girls I spent time around because they were my friends gf's.

>>39754948
>reddit "i made it" starter kit

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>be me
>lifting at local gym
>presumibly indian roiding manlet walks in for the 3rd time today
>calls himself Cyclone
>pushing late 20s maybe even 30
>ripped as fuck
>can tell he watches anime by the stances he does before lifting
>grunts and groans at even the lightest of weights
>sometimes touches the ground with one hand and raises arm into the air and then lets out a heavy force of air through his mouth hyping himself up for the 132~ bench.
>sometimes paces around the gym and does random exercises next to people
>just does random handstands and pushes against the wall for no reason in between sets

There is no limit to the dumb shit this guy does, when will manlets ever learn?

>>39754970
Fuck off, dont hate on a dude for doing something meaningful with his life.

>>39754970
But I don't go to reddit.

Wouldn't the typical redditor white knight and be a faggot? I'd rather just ignore it and try to live the best life I can.

"How does love suit with age, Sophocles, --are you still the man you were? Peace, he replied; most gladly have I escaped the thing of which you speak; I feel as if I had escaped from a mad and furious master. His words have often occurred to my mind since, and they seem as good to me now as at the time when he uttered them. For certainly old age has a great sense of calm and freedom; when the passions relax their hold, then, as Sophocles says, we are freed from the grasp not of one mad master only, but of many. The truth is, Socrates, that these regrets, and also the complaints about relations, are to be attributed to the same cause, which is not old age, but men's characters and tempers; for he who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition youth and age are equally a burden." -Plato regarding age and sex

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>>39754759
>flailing your legs
>making pig squeals
>bright red face
>needed the qt receptionist to come help you

someone please draw this

>>39750355
This confirmed
>tfw navy veteran finishing college at 26.
>college kids are all borderline socially retarded

>>39753514
leld

>>39755023
Did the Navy help you grow as a person compared to when you were a civilian?

>>39753514
At least you didn't say "You-u Too"

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>>39752619
> reference people like us

>>39755023
FC2 get the fuck off my board and stop being such a cunt at drill

>>39753648
this is the best post in this thread ainec

>>39753715
Incline is harder than ohp desu. No shame anon

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>>39754980

>>39754979
>can tell he watches anime by the stances he does before lifting
Classic pot meeting kettle scenario

>>39754990
It's funny. I have a buddy like you. Extremely intelligent, ex navy with me, reads only Greek and roman philosophy, and can't attract women at all. He's slowly slipping further into his passions, which destroy his social self

>>39755036
Bro I joined at 18. Everyone changes between then and 22. But yes, plus I saw the world which completely changed my perespective on it

>>39755066
You're calling someone you think is a veteran by their rate? Please stop.

>>39754727
White shorts Red Shirt today, gonna get my boipucci rekt.

>>39753238
That's what he just fucking said you conceited dicklord

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>>39755042
I used to laugh at the "You-u Too" meme until it actually happened to me.

>Go to Starbucks to get some coffee beans as gift for friend
>Walk up to cashier, mild QT
>Pay for things, about to leave
>"Enjoy"
>"You too"
>MFW
She heard, as did some people who were lined up.

>>39753514
Best in thread

>>39755156
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaveinO4_vs

>>39755084
Portrait? The guy wants to get better at life, you want to get better at vape tricks.

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>>39755186
not gonna show my face, so have a pic of my joocy legs

>qt 7/10 who goes to gym at the same time I do.
>decide today is the big day
>she is doing dumbbell back rows
>go over to her.
>she stops and looks at me
>freeze
>manage to stammer, "n-nice form"
>she looks annoyed, "thanks?"
>say, "well, gotta hydrate. Ha ha"
>walk away towards water fountain.
>realize I am holding my water bottle
>hide in locker room
>plan my next move
>leave locker room
>notice old man doing lay pull down
>say loudly, "nice form" in hopes that she'll think I just say that all the time.

What do I do lads? 11:30 is the only time I can fit the gym in my schedule. I don't want to have to keep up the "nice form" charade forever.

>>39755195
It was a reference to your vape meme, but those are some nice tendies legs ;))))))))))))))00

>>39755200
>"gotta hydrate"
Please tell me you did not really say that

>>39755200
rofl, just move on. if she asks just tell her the truth that you're socially retarded

>>39755210
What's wrong with implying that you have to consume a cold beverage to hydrate your body after a hard workout?

>>39755210
It was the only thing I could think of to escape.

Why live on this gay earth?

>>39755216
Thats actually really good advice. It isn't human to not sympathize with someone having a problem, its endearing to identify with someone trying to directly face their problem.

Being a social retard isnt anything to be ashamed of. You'll work through it.

>>39755200
This cant be real.

>>39755226
Cause you sound nice. Keep trying anon, you're gonna make it.

>>39755234
Unfortunately my autism doesn't end there. This happened 2 weeks ago.
>doing pec flies
>random guy starts talking to me about "the big game"
>pretend like I watched it
>that pass in the last quarter was amazing.
>ha ha. Guess that's why they call him the "quarter back"
>deadpan expression, I'll let you get back to your workout.
>I think about it and I realize that the AZ coyotes are a hockey team, not a football team.

>>39753648
Kekatron

>>39755232
Yea what this guy said. Start telling everyone you're retarded

>>39755133
Well, there is still time. I'm 24 and while it is conventional thought that you're an adult at 18 and you should be married and committed to some portrait of your entire life by 30 I choose to think differently.

My father is 64 now, he had me when he was 40. I still think my father could change and learn if he wanted to. If he didn't smoke constantly I think he would have a long life yet, he still feels invincible to me, even with his cataracts he still off and does stuff on his own like fixing a broken doorknob, or fixing a broken power cable, yet I have to help him see if bread is moldy or not because he cant see.

My entire life has consumed less than half of his. I've met less than 5,000 individual people in my life. There is still so much more and so much more that I can be.

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>gym has smoothie bar
>get a smoothie and work out while enjoying it
>do gripper machine
>feeling the burn in my forearms
>go and grab smoothie
>unable to gauge amount of pressure my hand is putting on the cup
>I squeeze the smoothie cup too hard, the lid pops off and some smoothie falls on my crotch
>looks like a giant cum stain on my shorts
>attempt to wipe it off, looks worse
>decide to "accidentally" dump the rest of the smoothie on my lap so it doesn't look like I came
>in a corner and no one is really watching at this point so I pretend to dump it on my lap
>as I'm doing so, a group of girls turns around and watches me as I dump a bit more of it on my myself
>loudly proclaim "gosh darnit, my shorts"
>they look at me like I'm deranged

Honestly my worst gym experience.

>>39753810
Dude you were doing RDL, no fucking way can that allow you to move more weight than conventional. You just don't know form and core bracing.

>>39750436
>apologizing for making eye contact accidentally

>>39755299
At this point you just gotta ditch the shorts bro. Besides youve been squatting 3x a week for the past 2 years anyway. Time to show off dem leg gains.

>>39755133
is that a bad thing though?

>>39755260
Why don't you just tell the truth? fucking obsessive compulsive liar. get help

>>39750307
>standing up and down
>standing down
Ur in no position to call people names, retard

>>39755133
You mean autistic?

>>39755260
Yeah this didnt happen.

>>39755316
Yes. Humans are naturally social creatures. We long for human contact. That's why every other thread is a
>tfw no gf
Thread. That's why he falls in love with every girl who will give him the time of day.

>>39754639
iktf

>>39751142
There was nothing abnormal about this. You could have just said u needed to go btw lol.

>>39754861
> 8th
not even trolling i got my gf to 18 last night. low test m-master r-r-race?

>>39753648
DUDE I fucking swear, its ALWAYS older asian guys doing that.

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> enter my local planet fitness
> young 6.5/10 working the desk says "enjoy your workout!"
> "y-you too"
this has happened more than once.

> be at smith machine pumpin iron
> taking a break between sets
> scanning gym
> see qt looking at me. she's pretty focused.
> i look away
> sneak another glance. she's still looking at me
> mfw realize she's looking at herself in the mirror that is in front of me.

and finally
> on elliptical, getting cardio gains
> qt dismounts the machine next to me, leaving her phone
> just sit there, guarding it for her till she notices
> she comes back, looks for it, sees it, flashes me a huge smile
> i say "i was hoping you'd come back for it!"
> no, but really, i'm wearing headphones and autistic, so it comes out as "AAAAAAH HOPING HAHAHA BAH!" supplemented with some goofy nodding and smiling.

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Not me but
>See new guy at gym
>Skinnyfat, clearly out of element
>Connects to the speakers
>Skips through top 40s songs
>Settles on thrift shop
>Bodyweight squats with an intensely focused face
>Damn that's a cold ass honkey
>Mfw

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>>39755456
>> no, but really, i'm wearing headphones and autistic, so it comes out as "AAAAAAH HOPING HAHAHA BAH!" supplemented with some goofy nodding and smiling.

>>39755405
hmm i see. but its impossible to do both so you have to decide one or the other. and frankly after being with my gf for about a year, at the rate things are were gonna end getting married and having a family soon. i can already see those goals i had as a single man withering away. hell, so are my gains.

point is, if you have passions and are intent on sticking with them, please do, please stick with them. because girlfriends and kids only sucks the life out of you. its not all it's kicked up to be

>>39755456
been there, anon

>doing last set of deads
>exhausted with face like a cherry
>finish, drop weight
>struggle to catch breath
>lost in my own little world
>someone pops into my peripheral vision, says something
>pop back into reality, turn to say "I'm sorry, what was that?"
>instead turn and exhale/practically holler out "WHAT WAS THAT?" at petite qt
>she looks terrified, and points at plate on the floor from a previous set
>"a-are y-you done with th-those?"
>glance at place, try to give a friendly nod and say 'Yep!'
>instead exhale a loud sigh, "Uh, YEAH."
>qt picks up plates and looks genuinely hurt, leaves
>see her putting the plates away, gets on a cardio machine
>the hardest exercise i do now is avoiding her at all costs

>>39753715
I just saw a guy do that a day or two ago

Ok I go these wierd motherfuckers who keep coming in when I'm there
>Man and a woman
>Woman probably late 30's
>Man probably mid to late forties
>They wear matching dark blue tracksuits
>Practice shitty jiu jitsu in the MIDDLE of the fucking free weight section
>Spin those stretching sticks as fast as they can battling air demons or some shit, I'm afraid theyre going to hit someone
>fucking pray before each lift
>At least I think its praying, they kneel down in the 'om' position and start muttering, I cant hear them.
>It goes without saying that all the lifts they do with shit form and on wrong equipment, like wrist curls on bench
>And during all of this they look around with the most smug expression
I hate them so much desu

>>39755260
> measuring in quarters
> ice hockey
> AZ

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>>39750436
>s-sorry

>>39750562
>can someone please explain
you were not paying attention to spotting e bro, and the girls were prolly laughing at how your ballsack is close to bros forehead, making you look gay as fuck

>>39753648
best post yet

>YMCA great stuff lots of activities with friends
>weight room mostly just bros
>huge overly aggressive dude comes there tons
>one night he's got literally every 45lbs plate on one rod
>proceeds to scream out and lift it up for mere seconds before slamming it back down
>the bar is bending more and more
>late not a lot of people there staff doesn't seem to care
>wrapped it up early to get away from the extremely loud crashing noise again and again

If I wanted cringey autistic failures with grills
I'd try talking to one outside of her job

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>>39750436
Winning means never having to say you're sorry. You lost pretty hard. The least you could have done was be cheeky.

I know it's easier said than done. Confidence doesn't grow on trees.

>>39755232
It's more like, you made a shit mistake and you owned up to it and you're also confident enough to own up to it. Gotta own what you are, man.

>>39750436
Use it for motivation. Every fail, every striking out, every indifferent or negative situation from women gets fed into the "if I were more aesthetic, it wouldn't happen", becoming pure motivation.

REMEMBER IT. USE IT.

>>39754847
Back in school I knew somebody who crashed at the gym for about 3 days after his mom threw him out of her house due to some drug related stuff.

They were open 24/7 and it was weird but accepted

>>39757619
I always think about how if shit really hits the fan, I can live out of my car and shower at the gym every morning and still lead a pretty sanitare life

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>>39755504
>the hardest exercise i do now is avoiding her at all costs

>>39755336
>ur
>not ur'e
It seems like you are the retard here

>>39755754
I was just trying to get a little tickle for my pickle

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>>39754672

>>39755081

what? No it isnt kek, I OHP 145 and can easily incline 175+, and thats always after I do flat bench

>>39749072
FIESTY ONE YOU ARE

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>>39755299

>>39750335
>tfw my buddy and I do jar jar binks impressions at girls
>tfw we're attractive so girls eat it up

Chad really can do anything

>>39755169
Ive done that so many times but you cant be retarded and embarassed about it.
>I just laugh it off and realize what I say and make a joke about it.
Literally no one cares.

>>39755014

What is that thing?

>be me
>in a city where gyms favor cardiofags
>find a small local gym online that has all the equipment I need
>don't see any locker rooms/showers tho
>need to shower before heading straight to class
>call them up to ask
>they don't have showers
>respond with "ah damn I needed that"
>guy asks me if I'm coming there to shower or workout
>hang up
>look for another gym

>>39755200
>"nice form"
Do absolutely not continue telling people this.

>>39755434
Or old asian ladies in the locker room walking around dripping wet, holding their gash up to the hand dryers. Stopped using hand dryers after that.

>>39760186
What the fuck kind of gym doesn't have a shower?

>>39749072
>>39754101
this. she probably watches FMA every damn day and just lied to make him shutup.

>>39760308
The designated kind.

>>39755336
fukken lol'd

>>39760308
The good ones don't usually.

>>39753648
>>39755434
It's from all their Kung-Fu training, you have to shout to get the full power of your move.
>HAH!
>KYAH!
>HO!

>>39759225
Holy fuck, I'm in tears!

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>be squatting
>guy comes up and asks:"Do you need the clips?"
>reply "no, thanks"
>guy just takes the clips that are hanging from the squat rack and leaves without saying anything
>Realise that he didnt propose to me to put clips on my bar, since I was kind of struggling

I seriously cannot speak to people at the gym, I don't know what it is. Like I honestly am starting to suspect I may be on the spectrum.

>some nice guy is lifting next to me, starts asking me some questions about squat form
>"Yeah I read starting strength and rippetoe says this and that about form and how important they are so I'm trying to get it right"
>what actually came out was "uhhahah yeah SQUATS uhahah mark rippetoe hahaheh posterior chain releases test mumbleheh"
>tfw he doesn't try talking to me anymore

>>39760370
What do you consider a "good" gym

>>39755200
>>say, "well, gotta hydrate. Ha ha"
At this point it was obvious you're socially retarded.

>>notice old man doing lay pull down
>>say loudly, "nice form" in hopes that she'll think I just say that all the time.
Great job covering your social retardation with a mask of actual retardation.

>>39759225
feelin fit buddy?

>>39760547
4+ squat racks
4+ platforms
4+ benches
Not full of shitty dyels
Free clean squat plugs

>>39760577
Oh shit they have gyms with free squat plugs?

>>39754948
Weaponized Autism

>>39760607
Yeah but no showers.
worth it in my opinion

>>39760628
Is it wrong to get pleasure from a squat plug? I sometimes cum in my gym shorts at the bottom of a squat with a squat plug.

It would suck to not have a shower in that case.

>>39760646
Isn't it normal to orgasm at the bottom of a squat? Especially with heavy weight.

>>39760664
I think so

I hear a lot of guys moaning during squats. I don't get why a gym would not have showers when we gotta wash the cum off.

>>39754643
>lifting for women

shiggy

>>39753650
underraped toast

>>39752754
fucking nailed it bro

>>39752754
I cant remember the last time I laughed this hard

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>>39750436
why the actual fuck you said sorry you faggot? What did you do wrong! God dammit man

>>39754979
From the floor touch and wall push, sounds like he's nursing a rotator cuff issue tobh.

>>39754948
The marines is pretty retarded since the modern american military are all pawns of the oil industry but the rest of your plans are very noble

>>39753648
CHI CHOWAAAAaaàaàaaaaa

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>mfw this entire thread

>Gym buddy gets different job, have no reliable spotter
>Start doing BP on smith machine, afraid to fail without spotter
>Pushing up 255 for four reps
>Try to squeeze out fifth rep, failure makes muscles grow
>Can't get bar off my chest to hook to next pin
>fuckingstuck.gif
>Have to yell out for a spot for what seems like forever.
>Caught dude next to me skipping songs on his iPod and hears my screams
>dropped 20 pounds off and finished my sets

Needless to say I switched back to free weight BB bench. I'll ask someone to spot me if they don't look like a fgt that will snatch the bar at the first sign of struggle. Most of the time if I fail I'll just drop the plates, never use clips.

>>39761320
>Failing on the fucking smith machine
top fucking kek

>>39756552
>he thinks that lifting heavy weights off the ground will stop the disgusted looks

Look at this optimistic GYMCEL thinking that he can get a girl

the real deal is HEIGHT, FACE, FRAME and NOTHING else matters

>>39754706
>Leg press
>Max 120kg

What the actual fuck kind of meme equipment does your gym have

>walk in to gym
>cool receptionist greets me and says have a good workout
>reply "thanks man, appreciate it" like the autist i am

>>39755169
Jesus, I had a similar situation
>enter Subway
>get myself a nice sub, pay
>'enjoy your meal pal'
>'y-you t-too'
>teleport to the exit

>>39753765
how sexually deprived are you

>as I'm leaving the gym
>qt receptionist is working the front and says "Bye, have a nice day!"
>reply "you too!"

Just fucking end me

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>>39755169
Lmao me too anon

>Be me
>Go to movies to watch Jurassicworld
>Walk up to 7/10 at the ticket bar thing
>"Adult for Jurassicpark at 6:00"
>"Here's your ticket, enjoy the movie!"
>"You too"
>Started walking away before I realise
>Have a "you fucked up moment"
>Stop, glance back
>Bitch is just smiling
>"Oh yeah, aha oops"
>Que walk of shame to my movie

>>39762005
Wait, doesn't the "You too!" work perfectly fine in this context?

>>39755299
"Gosh darnit, my shorts"

I audibly laughed

>>39750245
I guess she's feeling lucky
>something like that

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>26 year old Pajeet with superman shirt on
>jeans
>sits on one of the 4 benches for 30 straight minutes
>accomplishes 3x8 dumbbell shoulder presses with 15kg
>has surrounded himself with 10, 20, and 30kg dumbbells
>they're literally spread all around him on the fucking floor like a moat
>re-wracks them all using both hands to lift the 30kg ones, one at a time
>proceeds to turn sideways and mire his chest after finishing his 3 sets of shoulder presses

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>>39762153
That's when you tell her to come enjoy it with you, senpai.

>>39762383
the second I read
>hand make an advent calendar
I knew it was going to go downhill because of how fucking weird that sounds lmao

>go to lat pull machine
>ask guy sitting by it if he's on it
>he says yeah but he'll work in with his friend whos on the next one over
>walk to the next one over
>ask his friend if he's using it
>he looks at me weird and says 'dude that one is yours' and points to the previous machine
>it finally clicks in my head what the first guy meant
>say 's-sorry guys it took me a sec to figure it out' and laugh
>they look at me strange
Jesus christ when I'm lifting I cannot socialize.

>>39762383
ho
lee
fuck
m8

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>>39753514

>>39760517

What gym do you go to?

>>39753514
hahahahahaha

>>39754782
honestly I want to say wtf dude how did you fuck that up but if I were in the same shoes I'd probably get nervous af and not know what to say so I'd stay quiet. That or I'd just say "hey how you doing" either way you fucked up bra

>go to gym around 3pm instead of my usual 9pm
>Warming up
>Fast forward
>bench pressing 60kgx10
>Old cardio Manlet sits opposite my bench on leg extension machine
>Whatever
>Jump to 80kgx10
>Getting up to stretch pecs against wall
>Old dude's looking, can see him in the mirror
>Walk around back of my bench to grab some more weight
>Bump it up to 90kg
>Hear voice behind me
>It's the old dude
>Trying to say something like "pardon" cause I didn't hear him
>Grunt out "hm?"
>He says "do you want a spot?" But slowly, kinda condescending
>Never really liked this dude btw, for the two years I've come here he's always death stared what I'm doing from across the room
>Trying to say "no thank-you" and be polite at least
>Grunt out "Nuh"
>Dude sits back in the machine and says nothing
>Slap my ass on the bench and rep 90kgx6
>In my head playing what I just said over and over whole time
>I literally had no control of what I said
>Re-rack weight and go to incline bench cause it's away from old dude

I think my subconscious is a cunt :/

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>used to be fatty
>doing cardio on olyptical
>2 teens a few years younger than me are behind me on the treadmills snickering
>try to ignore it
>reach into pocket for ipod and my leg catches the wire to my earbuds wrong and flings my ipod back towards the treadmills
>teens start laughing harder
>hop off olypitcal to recover my ipod and they're still laughing
>face is beatred and im drenched in sweat "w-what are you laughing at?"
>they laugh even harder and 1 of them stops his treadmill because it looks like he's gonna fall over from laughing

>>39755299
jesus christ man haha

I spilled some spaghetti the other day
>forget my eater bottle so forced to use drinking fountain between sets
>but the drinking fountain isn't working that day either
>go to locker to grab dollar to buy a water bottle
>bring dollar up to qt receptionist and ask for a water
>"sure anon, they're right behind you. But you don't have to pay since the fountain's broken ^.^
>activate autism
>"u-uh I just went to the locker to grab this dollar so I don't mind paying for it"
>throw dollar on desk in front of her and immediately turn around and grab the water
>hear her snicker as I walk away

>>39762817
You should've fucked their shit up man

I fucking hate teens in my gym, they all come in groups of 3-5 and take turns bench pressing 60kg whilst their friends deadlift it, but sitting on all the surrounding equipment and being generally fucking annoying

I like to sit on the closest machine I can get on and stare into their eyes while I lift

>>39759225
HAHAHAHAHAHA
>yeh i'm just a lucky guy

>>39762786
m8
90kg in 2 years?

>>39762854
Should've said the dollar was for her to get the water and wink

>>39753650
First laugh of the day

>>39762900
>Thinking you have to lift your max everyday
Wew lad

>>39762915
>not lifting your max everyday
are you trying to not make it?

>>39762919>>39762919
I'm not, not trying to make it

>>39762183
Haha you're serious aren't you? Have you really been doing that? In public? Haha holy fuck

>>39762183
Only if you want to look like a complete normie

Think of something autistic to say instead

>>39752619
Why do people bench? I feel like you can just do the same with excessive amounts of pushups and not need a spotter or a gym.

>>39762854
how are you so thrown off by something so inconsequential? its like you pre-rehearse every conversation and if one thing goes wrong you malfunction

>>39763071
You're reaching levels of autism previously thought impossible.

>>39763071
That only works if you get progressively fatter so you can overload the muscles

>>39754706
>leg press machine
>max of 120kg
Do you work out at planet fitness or something? Even women do more weight than that.

>>39762447
Not your fault at all, anon. Guy could've just said "no" then went with his friend.

>>39755287
Ur A Fag

>>39755299
Hahaha "gosh darn it my shorts"

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>>39755299
Never change man

Most people are worried about being normal, all you have to do is be confident in the autism you spill and no one will know.

>>39763486
this. being a confident in your autism will get you from 'that creepy sperg' to 'tehehe Stacey, Chad is so random today teheee'

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>>39763486
This

Just b yourself

>>39750245
I guess I'm just a lucky guy.
>Dick high five

>>39753810
>no problems, just heats my asshole up
Wat

>>39754706
>120 kg leg press as impressive
>Maximum of the machine

>>39763072
>its like you pre-rehearse every conversation
No anon. That's exactly what's happening hahaha

>>39755200
>say loudly, "nice form" in hopes that she'll think I just say that all the time
Jesus fuck I laughed so hard at that. Never change, /fit/

>>39750524

There's this old dude who I used to go to the same gym as. He used to go into this candle and soap hippy store my FWBs ran. I actually met her by going up and asking if she was ok when he tried to hug her outside the store, closing time. Walked her back to her car and found out 50% of the stores profits are literally this dude trying to buy her love. Kinda sad.

>>39753514
Kek

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>>39763667
kek

>>39750245
first post breast post for you you're a big guy yeh im just a lucky guy (referencing the site's clover) y-you too I'd ask for your one rep max squat plug counting the bar

>>39759444
>chad eats pizza and gets trips on /fit/

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>used a guest pass to enter LA fitness with a friend of mine
>I had to pay like 18 dollars and had to show a proof of ID to enter LA Fitness with a guest pass ( I had no ID since I was underage)
>Do reverse curls with 50lb dumbell for like 5 mins
>my arms snapped and I couldn't move my arm for a week...
>Friend starts to laugh his ass off
>mfw lego arm...

>>39753514

Based

>>39761178
If you name a man that is not the pawn of a corrupt industry I'll name a man who contributes nothing to society.

>>39754672
Feelin' fit buddy?

>>39753227
This, i bench 240 for sets and dont feel very "big"

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>>39753514

>>39761320
i dont get people's fear of benching without a spotter. 9 times out of 10 i can tell when im about to fail so i stop a rep short when the next rep is iffy.

if going for an AMRAP set or 1rm, i get it.. but benching with submaximal weights doesn't require a spot.

>>39754948
I would cal you grade A autistic, but in truth you are probably just young and full of hope.
Shine on crazy diamond. I won`t say it can`t be done.

>>39765020
im the same way, but ive been benching for 3 years and am well aware when ive met my limit for reps

>>39754979

HOLY SHIT WE GO TO THE SAME GYM!

Cyclone is Indonesian btw. He's started coming up to me and telling me he can fly. Legit just goes on 20 minute spiels about how he is so powerful he can take off. He's like 35 as well. Dude is jacked af.

Also if you want to seek me out I'm the one white dude that benches more than 2pl8 besides that dude who trains with his son on the weekends. Occasionally Pump for Trump in my MAGA hat.

>>39754979


Fuck I've got so many Cyclone stories. Who's keen?

>>39754847
just do slow bike while reading when you are done lifting, that way you can spend ages and be productive at the same time.

>>39765485
Hell yea bruv

Happened yesterday

>staying at parents house in hometown over christmas
>go to casual soccer mom gym in the neighbourhood to cash in on them christmas food gains
>be diddlylifting
>milf working out next to me looks at the bar with a surprised expression
>"wow are you really gonna lift all that?"
>put on le old charmy smile, in true Coldsteel the hedgehog fashion manage to blurt out "heh, it's more than it looks"
>quiet, realize what I just said
>"uh I mean it's not as much as it looks like"
>motherly smile, all sexual tension gone
>"oh okay"
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee BABY WANTED MILKY wanted baby milk mommy big milky fat tits and tongue but hole

happened to me two days ago:

>be in gym after pulling a pretty good leg day
>doing a last mire on dem glutes before I go get changed
>there's a gril by the mirror that i'm looking in
>she catches my eye
>have to act awkwardly flirty so she thinks I was miring her and not me

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> learning to snatch
> have 5kg plates on for babbyweight form development
> tired from workout, was heavy leg day
> qt on bike next to me
> rip the snatch but bail out and fall on my ass, drop bar in front (I lost balance)
> "Oh my god, are you okay???"
> look up, it's the qt
> "y-yes, I have commitment issues, I am not olympic"
> hfw

>>39762383
omg..........................................................................................................................

>be me just starting out
>about to start my squats
>9/10 fit girl walks up and asks me how many sets i have left
>"I-I just started"
>she looks at me all weird
>"but y-you can have it"
>she asks me if im sure and i say yeah
> walk away awkwardly

I swear i have never felt lime such an autist in my life

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>>39763989
Same shit happened to me the first day I started working out few years go. I didn't know wtf I was doing so I just grabbed some dumbells that were way to heavy and started doing curls.

My arms were stuck and it looked like I was doing a fucking dinosaur impression. Was sore as fuck for a week

>be me 19 years old
>going to gym for first time
>go into gym
>little sister is there, naked
>ihavethestrangestboner.org
>go up to her and nonchalantly say hey sis forgot to shave did you
>she smiles at me and shows me her gaping asshole
>i think now or never, i enter her instantly
>omg and i cum in her bosom
>when we are done she thanks me for cumming in her
>i fucking manage to say, thanks y-you too
just fucking kill me

>>39755299
>cant control own body
>do autistic shit
>more autism
this is literal autism, like jason jenova spectrum

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>>39765672
Just fuck my shit up senpai

>>39765672
>>she smiles at me and shows me her gaping asshole
>>omg and i cum in her bosom
Are you aware that "bosom" refer's to a woman's chest?

>>39755336
You must poo in loo, don't excrete in the street.

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>>39750436
>Not going up to her with a stern face and saying, loudly, "EXCUSE ME, CAN YOU STOP STARING AT ME WHILE I EXERCISE? I HAVE THE RIGHT TO WORK OUT WITHOUT BEING OBJECTIFIED" then walking away, only to turn around after 3 steps, while she's still looking at you, and saying "AND MY EYES ARE UP HERE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

>>39755042
Mfw i did this.
Cute girl who works at gym was having convo with me. Finishes by saying enjoy your workout
>"y-you too...uhh"
she chuckled as she walked away

>>39762884
Jesus

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>>39763735

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>>39753514
Formidable

Not really gym autism but autism still.

>cold rainy autumn day
>go running in the woods
>finish my run
>start walking home
>couple of older guys sitting at a bench and drinking
>one of them says in a friendly way "hey I was running too earlier today :)" to me
>was not expecting any kind of social interaction so failed to put on my normie mask in time
>ask "how much did you run"
>"oh about 3 km i think :)"
>"try 7"
>grin like a faggot
>guys face turns into half serious half disappointed as he lets out a confused "y-yeah"
>suddenly realize what a faggot I am
>power walk away fast

It's like everything that I say naturally makes me an asshole.

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>>39754706
>120KG
>Max Capacity of that machine

Ah ha ha I bench that shit for reps

>>39765841
jesus

>>39765841
i thought i was autismo

>>39765731
Hes 12 give him a break

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>>39765841
>People like this exist

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>>39765900
jesus christ,guess its true what they say, some picture say more than a thousand words.
i wonder what the back story of this dude is.

>>39755299
Checked and kekd

>>39750245
I suppose I'm simply a man favoured by happenstance

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>be 6-7/10
>10/10 gym beauty is usually there when im there
>everytime we make eye contact i look disgusted at the floor or in the opposite direction
>asked me months ago if i could spot her while benching
>moawns every rep "thank you"
>hands almost touched tits every rep
>run away after she finished her set without saying a word and start doing my shit
>fast forward
>sits on bench next to me though whole benchroom is empty, just me in there
>bend over in front of me to take dumbbells, staring at floor, doesnt move until shes out of sight field
>doing all this shit to pretend im not interessted though im interessted

Wasn't me. But this shit happened yesterday.

>Be me
>Get set up at the squat rack
>Some ottermode niggerbro is talking up some cardio bunny
>She's just trying to get him to go away
>Niggerbro deadlifts 175lbs with a belt and drops the weight and screams
>Me and other gym goers look at him in confusion
>This guy has a fucking tripod setup for his phone so he can tape his lifts
>Continue doing my workout

>He then pulls up a box close to my squat rack and then begins hyping himself up to jump.
>Literally talks to himself the whole time
>He drops the belt he was using on the floor
>Ask him if he's done with it
>"Nah bro, I'm still doing squats and all that shit"
>So apparently he had a squat rack where he was only doing 1 1/2pl8 squats doing quarter ROM
>Screaming and banging the weights after every set
>Me and other gym bro look at each other and shrug

The fucking guy was making an ass of himself the entire time and filmed all of it. What possesses these morons?

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>be me
>manlet, dicklet, virgin beta cuck
>11/10 qt walks up to me as im doing my squats
>dat cameltoe
>i instaboner and jizz in my pants
>she notices because i get the thousand yard stare and cant speak properly
>in confusion i say this: i just came for you like literalyl
>because she noticed anyway, might as well go full autist
>she turns 720 degrees and walks away
>i go home and hug pillow waifu and cry
>tfw

>Have been going to the same gym every week for more than a year
>Haven't speak with anybody except for the occasional "Hi" with the regulars and to share some equipment.

>>39763072
They keep failing the damn turing test

>>39766667
Krieger stop testing your damn robots in the gym

>>39761531
>lol look at me trying to fit in with the autistic kids.

this is literally more autistic than your story.

>>39755195
T H I C K
H
I
C
K

>go to gym
>forgot headphones
>Top 40 shit all day
>turn to random who doesn't have headphones either
>"Why do they always play shitty music, how are we supposed to lift to this?"
>He looks at me like I just asked to suck his dick and then starts laughing at me
>Finish workout early and leave

The memory still haunts me

>>39767062
What's autistic about that?

>>39752754
You should have turned around and winked. Works every time.

>>39767143
can confirm, every time.

I went from Autistic Elliot to Cool Chad with that one simple trick.

>>39760300
How the fuck do you hold your gash up

>>39767263
with your pelvis.

>>39749072

Worst thing is your literally less of a man than he is because he actually tried while you elelected to do nothing and then come to /fit/ and write nasty shit about someone you consider a friend

Think about that

At least this kid is trying to lose his virginity, maybe you should start OP?

>>39767296
>someone you consider a friend
you're taking it a bit far

>>39755260
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

>>39759873
what latinos looked like before spaniards racemixed

>>39767494

The problem with West Ham is that they always walk it in.

haha IT crowd reference ;)

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>>39765644
thats some pathetic shit right here

>>39766243
he's just russian

>>39759873
Madame Zika

>>39751142
Dude u so close. Almost there bro feeling good.

>>39759225
holy shit topkek, this was recent right?

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>>39769067
There are dates on the posts

>>39766442
>bull

>>39762221
I fucking hate when gooks and pajeets think the longer you use the bench, the more results you'll see

>>39762884
Thats alpha as fuck
I do that with assdouche gook body builders who make fun of fatter/older folk

>>39766400
BRO.

I do the same shit. If there's a girl who's checking me out in public i go out of my way to ignore them by instinct for some reason. It's terrible because i'm conscious of how akward i seem the whole time.

>>39766400
Just put your dick in her anon

>>39770815
This

Its just that easy