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>got a free sample of spirulina
>decide to try it out in my protein shake for that added B12 flavour
>30 minutes later, in the middle of my routine
>on the floor crunching
>suddenly hear a loud rumbling from my stomach
>feels like I've lost control of it completely
>can't even contract stomach muscles, it's like they relax completely
>I literally take a liquid shit all over the floor
>end up having to get paper towels from the bathroom to clean up my liquid shit, but my pants are now stained with shit
>go to the bathroom and squat over the sink, using the water to clean my soiled pants and underwear
>come back, the whole gym smells like rancid protein shake shit
>walk out of the gym and back home in -10 degrees celsius with soaked pants that faintly smell like shit
Thank christ it was seven in the morning and nobody else was at the gym. I can never go back there. They probably have cameras.
Who else fell for the spirulina meme here?
>>
I once shit my pants trying to fart in my dogs face. You gotta be carful with spirulina. Start out slow and low.
>>
Heard it does some great stuff for anxiety and energy though
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>>39702780
Why were you trying to fart in our dog's face?
>>
shit related stories?
let's go
prewriting is for pussies
>be me new year 2014
>at my friend's house
>real piece a shit party
>down a few drinks but focus on eating all the garbage food at his house
>eat chocolate, cheese and sausage
>party ends, close friends stay to sleep
>fall asleep normally
>so far, nothing wrong
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>>39702894
I wanted to share. We have an understanding you would never understand.
>>
>>39702960
>wake up at 3am
>jesus what the fuck
>rush to the bathroom to throw up all the shit i ate 4 hours earlier
>whenwillthisend.jpg
>smells fucking horrible
>feels like i'm vomiting 1/3 of my body mass
>finally ends, clean up go back to the sofa i'm sharing with best friend from elementary school
>lay myself back down
>lay a quick fart to seal this midnight intercourse
>"wow this fart is kinda long eh"
>billymays.jpg
>feels wet in my pants (no pajama)
>get up
>i just shitted a pool of barely digested sausage, chocolate and cheese in my pants
>fuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUCKKK
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>>39703022
Oh alright, makes sense really.
>>
>>39703029
>there are 5 other people in the room sleeping silently
>get up
>wipe sofa of small traces of crap
>go to bathroom to wash my shit stained clothes
>underwear is dead
>pants are soaked with water
>"i have to make i back to my stuff and get the fuck out before anyone wakes up"
>step out the bathroom with only a sweater covering my junk
>gather all my shit and pack my fucking bag
i remember at some point, my best friend who was sharing the sofa with me opened his eyes for a moment to stare at me. it felt like fucking forever before he closed his eyes again. it's the best memory I have of him yet.
>>
>>39703092
>leave house through the garden, put on my shit stained pants and get the fuck back home
best memory I have of this night is coming back home with an unwiped ass blasting Jungle in my headphones and practicing victory dance.
next morning they didn't ask a single question.
I soiled the fuck out of his house and no one will ever know about it.
i am the supreme shit comando.
>>
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>>39703120
>>39703092
>>39703029
>>39702960
>>
>>39703702
i wonder what's his greetext story
>>
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>>39703721
Thread posts: 13
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Thread images: 3