>decided to go to Subway to start losing weight because I

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>decided to go to Subway to start losing weight because I assumed that you could lose weight there without having to sacrifice fast food
>Squeeze through the door
>The smell hits my nose
>For some reason I think that is the smell of fresh vegetables and healthy eating
>Loudly say, with confidence, to the qt behind the counter
>'Footlong Meatball Marinara please! I am starting a diet, so extra veggies'
>entire time I am ordering feel really confident
>Start making little rhymes regarding my soon to be weight loss
>'I'll have that on wheat to ease the pressure on my feet!'
>'I'll have no cheese to stop myself from having to wheeze!'
>'No Mayo, only Ranch, its a health food avalanche!'
>she is looking very concerned, pretending to smile
>Really thought I was making healthy food choice
>Went home
>Ate the entire thing, fucking delicious
>Went back to the exact same Subway for the next 3 weeks every day and got a meatball marinara
>decide to look up the nutrition on-line
>well over 1000 calories
>Mayo isn't even less healthy than ranch
>have lost 4 pounds since then but only because the Subway got shut down for some health violation so I started buying 2 happy meals for dinner instead