>1.5 months ago >bench 220 squat 275 ohp 145 lbs >weigh

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>1.5 months ago
>bench 220 squat 275 ohp 145 lbs
>weigh 158, up from 137lbs
>people complimenting me on how much better I look, I was completely skeleton before

>get depressed beyond belief, can barely move, even moving my eyes feels hard
>stop eating and lifting because there is no point
>fast forward to now
>work out once
>benching 155 is hard
>barely squatting 180 for reps with bad wobbly form
>weigh 134lbs

Doesn't even look like I lost fat, just muscle and water.
I love the depression meme. I am typing this while lying in bed because I can't even sit up at my computer unless I drink absurd amounts of coffee to make me restless, then I can use video games as escapism and won't feel depressed or anxious while focused on them

Is gaining muscle and strength back REALLY easier if you had it already in the past and then lost it? Don't want to bother getting it back if I can just lose it again in a couple weeks like this. Not that I am going to bother right now, but just wondering for if I ever start lifting again