I'm really depressed and I know I'm getting exposed

No you can grow muscle, the body reacts very well to any kind of stimuli in the beginning. However once you have surpassed your noob gains, you won't really gain any longer

>>39488590
So how much can you accomplish by using a dumbbell that can only get 30kg/66lbs in total?

you'll probably get demotivated at your lack of results and quit lifting if you expect much from that. Go to a gym or get more weight for the dumbbells.

>>39488688
I don't expect to be very big, just enough not to be a dyel. So 30kg per dumbbell is too little then?

Why don't you just do it and find out?
DB bench with 30kg is OK (respectable)
You can do Db Shoulder Press, goblet squats, Pistol squats, DB rows, stiff legged DL, DB pullovers, lat raises, curl, etc
Lots of exercises
You'll eventually get tired of it and crave the BB, but you'll get gains for the DB work for sure

>>39488750
thanks bro for the answer.

If you do one arm dumbbell row, would you recommend doing also lat raises? I've been doing the former but not the latter assuming if i did both it wouldn't allow my muscle to grow.

>>39488750
And yeah, i've read the important stuff is to feel your muscles are getting worked and not focusing so much into what weight is considered badass...

But for personal issues i dont want to go to a gym and i only have a db that can load only 30kg (and for my curls im still at 12kg/26lbs).

Ive read many people saying that's not enough to stop being a dyel.

But yeah, i guess the smart thing to do is to keep working and once i hit the 30kg mark for curls then start considering if i should buy more weight or go to a gym.