https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1z FeHJzS5E >implying t

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I will still feeling, but also I will be strong too.

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>>39194743
>have good job
>have loving gf
>have car
>have supportive family
>have amazing friends
>love lifting. On my way to making it.
>have hobbies. Love playing music, painting, cooking.
>absolutely hate myself
>feel like a shit partner to gf despite her telling me I'm fantastic to her all the time.
>view myself as an extremely selfish person with no direction despite all of the above.
>feel like a complete disappointment to my family despite them telling me they're proud of me for getting fit and starting a career.
>feel like screaming everyday in a misguided attempt to vent my self loathing.
> feel absolutely alone despite being surrounded by people who love me.
> still have suicidal thoughts sometimes (used to be much worse).

Fuck guys.

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>>39194859

Go get ur test checked out

>>39194875

I might have to bro. Idk how much longer I can stand this shit.

>>39194743
Bretty good.

Decided I wanted to cut alcohol for good for the next long period of time. I´m thinking New Years eve is a goal.

Started bulking 4000 cals a day, want to put on 10 pounds by january.


..her

>>39194859
>no job
>no gf
>no car
>no supportive family
>no friends
>love lifting. On my way to making it.
>no hobbies.
>absolutely hate myself
>view myself as an extremely selfish person with no direction
>feel like a complete disappointment to my family
>feel like screaming everyday in a misguided attempt to vent my self loathing.
> feel absolutely alone
> have suicidal thoughts all the time

Fuck guys.

>>39194859
do something for other people without expecting anything in return
seriously, this is the way for happyness

>>39194743
I kinda wonder if feels really belong with us. Because going down this route, getting muscle will usually mean that your biochemical balance will be better off. More muscle, more test, better moods. At least it has been so for me.

I have been nearly in the same preposition for a while now, but as my muscle grows, so does my feels decrease. Because each and every day, it is as if my muscle hugs me. When the world managed to penetrate me through my thin skin before, and give me feels, now the muscle prevents that from happening. And this gave my average mood from "depressed" to neutral and now to "kinda okay I guess"

I think that being happy may be 60% bio mechanical.

>>39194743
I'm starting to get afraid that my interests in philosophy and religion are just a way of dealing with the ultimate meaninglessness of life. I've always had this feeling that there will come some moment of realization or sudden revelation of a deeper meaning or encounter with something higher, but at the same time I'm getting afraid that this is never going to happen.

>>39195266
You know what is spooky? I used to have some sense of mysticism inside of myself, for dreams as example. The dreams I received were often so interesting, so cool, so prophetic.

But as I grew older, I started to analyze them. And I saw that they could not predict events. They do not tap into somekind of outside force. Its all brain. You are all brain. A complex organ that requires knowledge of itself in order to operate fully, and with full capacity.

From that point onwards, my dreams and I. My feelings and I were as one. I realized that I am a product of this reality. That there exist no invisible hand outside of that of other humans.

Its a reality of opportunity. Complex, weird but rewarding for those who chose to live in it fully. Instead of being swallowed up by delusions.

If you respond to every variable, to every tangent outside of yourself appropriately. You can win this giant logic puzzle. This insane roguelike game.

>>39195389
Yet you are still believing in a 'higher' form of existence, some hidden truth. While this might all be delusional.

>>39195409
No I dont, why would you say that? You dont know how I think. I believe in absurdism. I believe that for all the cries that humanity has given the universe, the universe simply does not give even a single fuck about us.

The only voice that ever was, were other humans. The voice of life around us. And I am content with that.

I do admit, sometimes I wander about and think to myself "what if we are just somekind of giant experiment by a bunch of ayylmao's?" "What if they can read my mind right now?" "Well helly ayllmao's, you know what would be awesome? If I could become a giant cyborg of some sort and mindlessly slaughter everyone around me for no reason at all" "If you exist ayylmao's, please turn my into a giant 10 meters tall robot thing with lazers"

but I never become such a thing, thus I am fairly sure that we truly are alone.

If you got really fit and you didnt get gf, is there any point to staying fit?

>>39195460
subjective well being. its even a metric right now on some sites

http://examine.com/topics/Subjective+Well-Being

lifting improves quality of life significantly. Especially since most people have a testosterone deficit.

Simply put, all the things that you do, will be more enjoyable thanks to a healthy body.

>>39194743
>/fit/ the movie

>>39195474
Can confirm this. My life is a disaster but lifting and keeping a good health (still a long way) seems to improve my mood and keeping me less depressed.

>>39196747
isnt it kinda funny though? A lot of people out there would say "well if you are depressed, perhaps you lack purpose in your life, perhaps its because how boring our society is, perhaps you need to party with more friends or find a job that brings out the creative side in you! Perhaps you should be helping other people!"

and then you take a supplement of some sort, put things up and down, perhaps even move from one spot to another at a fast speed. And then you are happy.

The absurd truth of our way of being as humans is that for a majority of our happiness, there is nothing mystical about being happy. Its mostly all chemistry, bio mechanical things, macro's, supplements etc.

Because a 100 years ago, even with strife, the people were somewhat capable, hard working, and maybe even happier in certain ways than now. And the sole reason why they were so is that they were still in sync with the whole collection of slow evolutionary things that impact their minds. They werent fat, they walked a lot, they probably had heavy kinds of jobs.

if you are a collection of chemicals, of neuron clusters firing at one another. Then it would stand to reason that if you treat them well, try to make them be high quality. They will function better. And they do.

Two minutes - had to pause it. Seen it before. I don't think I've recovered from the shock.