>Walk into the gym. Get a mini test boost as Qt's are

The squat rack at my gym has free weights

>walk into gym
>receptionist looks at me and says "why the long face?"
>i am a horse

>but plate dispenser isn't dispensing my plates.

What does that even mean?

In my ghetto gym there are plate lying around all over place (and usually on the bars already, because lazy dickheads).

Is this a real thing?

>walk into my regular gym
>it has a no manlet policy, must be over 6'2 to lift
>thought i would try to get lucky today by wearing my padded lifting shoes
>only measure in at 6'1
>qt receptionist says you have to leave sir, nothing personnel
>gym membership revoked and i had to pay them a $200 manlet fine

can anybody recommend a gym without a no-manlet policy? thanks brehs

What a shit fucking thread m8

>>39108845
Instead of a membership fee some gyms charge per-plate, there is a credit card machine at the weight rack, you swipe and it will release the weights for you. It's fairly cost effective while you're still a novice but once you start lifting heavier weights it's usually more economical to go to a monthly fee gym with unlimited plate access

>>39108818
underrated post

>>39108891
I've never heard of such a thing. Huh.

>>39108818
> free weights

Yeah and I bet you got our bike for "free" too, right Tyrone?

>>39108891
Omfg im dying

Forgot to return plates to the plate dispenser

How long until the gym police come and degain me

>>39108767
Reminds me of the time i forgot to pay my rep taxes

>>39108927
>forgot
Fuck you you degenerate scum!

>>39108862
My gym makes you take your shoes off when they measure you.
>tfw 6'10"
Receptionist hits on me every time

File: 1.jpg (24KB, 852x480px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 852x480px

>qt in the squat rack next to mine
>now's my chance
>load up an additional 2 pl8 to my usual 1pl8
>as I unhook the bar I immediately shoot towards the ceiling
>mfw I put on two negative pl8s instead of normal ones

>go to old gym
>gym doesn't have a plate dispenser
>need to insert a coin and take a chain of 1pl at a time
>take forever
It's not all bad though, I usually just take an hour and it's gym policy that rest times aren't included in the hour

The plate dispenser at my rinky dink fucking gym only takes quarters and doesnt even have a card slot.

I gotta sit there and pump in like five bucks worth of quarters every god damn leg day. Sometimes I have to choose between leg day and laundry day when rent is due.

wageslave life is the worst.

>>39108891
>tfw hybrid pay-per-rep membership

First 100 reps are free and unlimited plates. I've gone to Texas method to keep things cheap. Do lots of pullups because they don't have a rep counter on the pullup bar.

It's not bad for $20/month. Machines aren't included, but I don't need them anyway

File: 1476134899761.jpg (17KB, 360x360px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 360x360px

>>39108767
>deadlifting license is about to run out
>DNG (Department of Natty Gains) is closed this week

>>39108891
I'm literally howling

>>39108978
In most states you can do trapbar. Not ideal but it's a neat loophole

File: 1475704355788.jpg (2MB, 3840x2560px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3840x2560px

>>39108962
I fucking hate this shit. I have to walk around slinging a bag of coins everywhere. Plus I gotta add like 10 tokens per lift and if I fail I don't get prize tickets.

How the fuck else am I going to get that zyzz teddy bear?

>gyms under construction
>can't use the hyperbolic time chamber for a month at least
>have to fight Cell in two weeks
I'm so fucked brehs

File: images copy.jpg (10KB, 196x196px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 196x196px

gym clown called in sick today

>>39109025
>gym clown steals plates off bar during squats

My mobility and muscle confusion is through the roof but it still scares the shit out of me

>>39109053
lmao that's a good one

>>39108960
kek

I don't know what it is with this shitty /tv/ meme, but it makes me sort of repulsed in a spiritual way; I'm too stupid to even find the words to describe just how unfunny this threads are. Like, I never thought a comedic effort, or any human activity for that matter, could be so devoid of beauty, so shittyly unaware of how off the rhythm of the jokes comes across.

Not even shitposting right now, these greentexts are the comedy equivalent of someone filming the Spy Kids franchise unironically. Before reading this thread, I was unaware of exactly how far away is joy from indifference, and how near it is to despair.

do you guys ever get that when you squat real low and ur stuck in the hole with like 4pl8 and the manager sneaks up and flicks your nut sack and says next month is free?

>>39109242
I've always been a fan of ignoring things i don't like

>>39109286
Me too, It's basically a sport for me by now, I thrive on indifference.

I'm being honest, I've seen so much stupid or unfunny garbage on 4chan in the past 9 or so godawful years I've been here, but this is the only thing that has actually rustled my jimmies, I don't know why, I find this so unfunny it becomes offensive to me. What's going on, I think I need to leave this place.

File: 16843541854.jpg (31KB, 281x376px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 281x376px

>doing 3x10 in the neck rope
>trip on the bench
>hang myself
>everybody thinks I'm suicidal
>have to do 120 hours in the mental clinic or I get my gym membership revoked

>>39108960
Lolled

>tfw the gym prostitute decided to take the day off
Worst gym session of my life

File: happytrump.jpg (258KB, 1699x1080px) Image search: [Google]

258KB, 1699x1080px

>tfw get really sick and lose all my gains
>mfw don't have to pay gains tax for the next 18 years

>>39109594
fucking lol

>>39109594
>tfw you can carry forward your deduction for 9.16kg of net gains loss into future gains tax years

>tfw the dumbbell gets caught in the vending machine after I paid

>>39109311
>And nothing of value was lost.

>>39109311
Beat it kid
Back to plebbit

>>39108986
North Carolina dude. The governor outlawed trap bars. You either have to deadlift or front squat.

>>39109311
This thread and all similar to it are funny as shit, if you don't like it you can fuck off

File: 1476299757482.jpg (91KB, 768x1024px)

91KB, 768x1024px

>gym butler isn't locally sourced
>plates aren't blessed by the gym shaman
>barbells aren't oriented by feng-shui energy flow
HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO LIFT IN THESE CONDITIONS

>>39108921
>AM I BEING DEGAINED?!?

>>39108891
Incase you guys don't get it;
It's a joke

>>39108974
do half reps count

>>39110291
Reps are measured by a camera and one rep counts as x distance moved.

So if you are a manlet you might be lucky and do 2 for 1 reps

>>39108822
Fuck you i laughed

>the gym necromancer is too busy flirting with the receptionist to help me set up deadlifts

>>39108971

I fucking feel you man. I have a simular problem. I got to a gym with a lot of rich fucks (I'm a wageslave though) and the plate dispensers only take bills. Well sometimes I put in the wrong bill and the fucking thing gives you your change in dimes. So once I put a ten in by accident and got 100 fucking dimes