Guys help my shits have been so hard lately I need dietary advice.

drink more water
eat less dairy

>>38986516
Too much fiber will do that.

>>38986516
just stretch out your asshole and then it won't hurt anymore faggot

>>38986516
Like >>38986525 said, drink more water. Stop eating shit.

>>38986516

Ive had rock hard shits most of my life, then i gave up dairy and red meat. theyve been velvet snakes ever since.

Just had a one-wipe wonder. How do I keep this happening? Fiber?

File: 1444601520504.jpg (917KB, 5319x3744px) Image search: [Google]

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>move back home to save money
>obviously depressing
>between this and work the only thing that keeps me sane in running
>try to save money any way i can, primarily eat rice, beans and oatmeal
>bowel movements are so large they clog the toilets
>my father swears i'm lying and that i'm simply using too much toilet paper
>we get into screaming arguments about this
>i've weighed myself before and after. sometimes i have four pound poos
>one day, after passing one that made me eyes water, i call him to the bathroom
>"DID YOU CLOG THE FUCKING TOIL--"
>he sees me standing there next to a toilet that has feces actually cresting the water like a new island
>he looks at me quizzically, then steps forward slowly to flush
>the water begins churning slowly before the bowl begins to fill
>clogged again
>he looks up at me, giving me a wry smile and a knowing nod before suggestively jerking his head toward the door
>"get outta here son, i'll take care of this. you've earned it."

>>38987566
I have nothing but those. I eat paleo and drink lots of water and green tea. Need poop parachutes though, fucking splashback is the bane of my existence.

>>38987618
do you not know the toilet paper trick? A sheet of toilet paper on top of the water will prevent splashing.

>>38987566
>tfw zero-wipe wonder