what fictional profession would you be if you made it? >pic

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>>38947763
Bounty hunter of course

>>38947800

was just about to post this

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bard

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Employed manlet

>>38947763

That is clearly a Gondorian soldier, you fucktard.

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>>38947763
one of these niggas in the red

If we can make shit up, I'd be a necromancer, stay swole forever while fucking vampire bitches.
If realistic I'd want to be a monk or something
>all the time in the world to better your mind and body
>nobody fucks with you, people see you as a pillar of the community
>have access to secret knowledge and shit

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>>38948062
The best kind

>>38947763

Raging Berserker desu

>When your party wizard casts grease under you after you kill everything so you don't kill the party and you get embarrassed because of it

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>>38948090
That's a ranger of ithilian, you dolt. Faramir, specifically.

>>38948285
>ithilian
>implying there were Rangers in Gondor when Rangers were descended from inhabitants of the old kingdom of Arnor
Orc pleb detected

>>38948518
>dunedain rangers
>in ithilian

Stop posting anytime m8

>>38947763
I wanted to be an autobot, then an adventurer in foreign lands who makes his money with odd jobs, fist fighting monsters, and live in a small cottage overlooking the sea.

#1 autist thread of the year goes to OP

>>38947763
Considering i'm 5'8" and do a lot of cardio

thief, 110%

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>>38948024

>bard
>not death

pleb lmao

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>>38948518
''Ranger'' wasn't a concept Tolkien invented for the Dunedain, you fucking mongoloid. Are you retarded?

>>38948552
Same breh. Thief/assassin

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>>38948062
>forging +5 strength enchanted barbells

>>38948156
What are they?(never seen the movies)

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A demon hunter

>>38948688
So...you'll carry around and use barbells that grant +5 pounds as long as you carry them?

So..in essence you've created 55 pound barbells that were forged to weigh 50 pounds.

>>38949186
lel, this guy is correct

you are a SHIT blacksmith kid, go back to the mines faggo

goblin thief

a gains thief

>>38949186
+5 to str is a huge modifier if we're talking D&D, way more than 5 lbs worth

>>38947800
>Fictional
>Implying bounty hunters aren't real

If you said 'space bounty hunter', it'd make sense.

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Struggler/Berserker

>>38947763
Elder scrolls Sorcerer, cast spells and burn cunts while having the natty body to wear heavy armour and wield heavy shields to block the inferior attacks of subhumans.

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i would fuckin infiltrate so much shit and just run around sucker punching fuckin EVERYONE

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>not being a based Adeptus Custodes who fight for the God Emperor and fuck Silent Sisters on the side

>>38948573
>being a no gains skeleton

no thanks, I get enough of that in real life.

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>>38947763
A knight of the round table so I could serve my waifu.

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NPC

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Manlet Slayer

>>38949110
The Emperor's (the old ugly guy) personal guards. Theyre in the background in the movies, but in the books it's revealed their his most loyal soldiers, and some of them are surviving Jango clones.

I'd be a trust fund neet.

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>>38950546
How do I into Big Boss mode?

>>38951653
eat a lot, crawl a lot through bushes, fight a lot, fuck a lot

Non natty space marine

> tfw
> 1000lbs ohp
> 2000 lbs bench
> 3000 lbs squat
> 4000 lbs deadline

*without power armor

All for 100 reps

>>38951777
>space marine
>humanity cream of the crop
>eat clen tren hard
>finally able to lift 40 plates
>meanwhile some ork somewhere is lifting 8000 lbs without training a day in his life

in the grim darkness of the far future you are either born alpha or are not

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>>38947763
>Banging hot sorceresses
>Chilling in a tavern with your friends after a contract
>Spend the winter bulking with your bros in Kaer Mohren.

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>>38948062
what the fuck
I just came to post that

manlet hivemind

>>38951653

big boss is basically ottermode on a largeish sized male frame, with gymnist strength.

>>38951669

get inside of a cardboard box. crawl around inside of it, without making it lift off the floor at all.

it's not easy.

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sex god

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>bard

i dunno. life is a joke, so why not sing a song, fuck some sluts and have a laugh.

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a non manlet

>>38947800
Not fictional

>>38948024
Busker

>>38948062
Just get a job

>>38948552
>Thief is fictional
Just rob some niggas

>>38948655
Just kill some niggas

>>38951285
You already are, pussy

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This

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Can you be a knight/fighter irl without military training?

>>38952344
just do the military training at home and become rogue knight

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>>38952412
>YOU CANT KEEP ME DOWN FOREVER MA

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>>38947763
best JoJo

>>38951855
You have GENE-SEED surgically IMPLANTED and GIVE yourself to the EMPEROR to be MOULDED like CLAY. You FORGE yourself in the FURNACE of WAR to get STEELY MUSCLE and IRON WILL.

Meanwhile Ghazghull Mag Uruk CHAD-kha gets SHOT in the HEAD and has VISIONS of GORK n MORK getting BIGGER N BIGGER eating SQUIGS and KRUMPIN LADS

>>38949186
you're not supposed to count the bar anyway, shitlord

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>Not serving on the front lines executing traitors
Custodes gtfo

>>38952118
Looks like some gay stripper in a skin suit twirling a dildo

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I would be an intergalactic martial artist so I can go on permabulk and make massive power level gains

>>38951295
You mean nigger slayer

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Crusader

>>38952640
fucking beautiful

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Jarl of Whiterun

Pirate life without the gangrene or malnutrition would be a 11/10

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>tfw all the alpha fantasy jobs would be an absolute gains goblin

Try spending weeks in the woods at a time being a ranger or marching across the country to the next war as a mercenary without going spooky.

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>>38947763
>>38947763
>>38947763
>>38947763


I'd bake so good you'd never want anything else other than my delicious and high protein cum filled doughs

>>38948156
>>38949110
>>38951318

Why are Empire soldiers such utter shit?

It's horrible how they get mowed down and they never put up a fight.

>>38954362

it's to make sure the incompetent rebels look competent

>>38950469
You mean battlemage right?
Sorcerers can only wear leather and shit.