One will protect you, the other three will try and kill you Who

Mark because he's the one with actual strength

>>38906806
Mark because I'm sure he has enough guns to supply a small war.

>>38906806
Scooby owns a gun
Then again, so does mark probably, seeing as he's a Texan and all
But scoobs also has a plane so I'll go with him

>>38906806
Rip.

Zyzz is just a corpse, piano is sick and has cancer and scoobs is gay so he won't fight

>>38906816
>actual strength

>3-4 very particular movements with a perfectly weighted barbell

>>38906806
Mark can train you and has knowledge of firearms/ stand your ground laws.

Zyzz is dead, but also a selfish cunt so would rat you out.

Goobert would give his heart and soul to protect you, fly you to safety in his homemade plane and live in isolation with you, paternally sprinkling whey over all your meals.

Piano is the wildcard.

Leaving humanity, C'MON

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>>38906806
goobert obviously. highest IQ and engineer.

will go heisenberg stationary gun for me protection

Scooby has a gun, a plane (which he can summon GTA style), and can speak to the wind.

Mark has guns, an 10 year supply of milk, and can transform into a boulder.

Zyzz has party anthems, can summon mad cunts, and can can get you laid.

Rich has property in every state and country, has a 10 year supply of scoops (20 a day), and can be used as an energy source for anything.

>>38906806
Rich Piano, somebody post the carnage green text

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>>38906866
also gobert would just do following.
>give zyzz some cyancali telling him its gainsabol
>challange riptoe to a milk drinking contest while he camoflagues a pipe from his mouth so he drinks with him until riptoe explodes
>convince piano to marry again so he loses his mind

gobert would be able to do all of this

>>38906806
rippletits

1. has a horse rance -> can go innawoods quickly to escape piana's vehicles
2. guns -> immediate advantage over scooby, who is anti-gun
3. has had his barbells blessed with holy water -> can exorcise ghost zyzz

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>>38906832
I think piana also owns guns.

I would choose scooby, wasn't his husband in the special forces? He's got that face like he's killed men before.

>>38906806
Give me Zyzz in his prime.

Just to kick it with him before he goes again. I don't need protection anyways, I'm not worried about the other 3 old dudes except rippetoe.

Scoobs

>Zyzz is dead
>Rippetoe is old and out of shape and probably doesn't do cardio
>Rich is so beefed up from synthol and only bodybuilds so he'll probably pull something or run out of breath before getting to me.

>>38906806
Rip is the only sensible choice.

I wouldn't wanna fight Scooby though, guy is too nice. Rich and rippe come off as assholes irl.

>>38906847
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaEVDfDazI4
>crippled shoulder
>50
>still stronger than 99% of fit

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>>38906902
>guns -> immediate advantage over scooby

Oh yeah?

>>38906806

>picking based on who owns the most amount of guns at this moment

You guys do realise people can buy more guns right?

Also, this question depends on whether or not their followers can get involved. If so, Mark has it. Guy runs an organisation filled with military types and people who like guns, all of whom really really like him.

>all these betas who need protection from a bunch of old and retired bodybuilders

Gimme Zyzz and we'll just smoke some ganja

>>38906960
I swear to god this archetype is exactly what 4chan is. This type of male is 4chan

>>38906806
Rip is the only correct answer, he's the strongest by FAR and owns more guns than the other three do gallons of milk.

>>38906950
I swear to god I'll get to that level one day. Old and strong.

>>38906806
I'll pick Piana and hide in his 96" sleeves

>>38907068
Lol no
4chan is for NEETs and weebs.

Ricardo Piano because he actually has the money to hire some goons to protect me

>>38906806
Rippletits will protect me with his superior hyupp drahve

>>38906806
Have to pick Rich
>implying he won't do whatever it takes

>>38906950
>weightless chins
>strong
lmao

>>38906806
>guy in his 20's
>three old men

even if it wasn't Zyzz it would be an easy choice. If you watched Kimbo Slice vs Dada 5000 you know that old roid monkeys are easily defeated by making them throw punches for a couple of minutes before they have a heart attack so wealthy harpsichord is out. Scooby seems like a good choice until you remember he has the heart of an angel and couldn't hurt a fly, so even if somehow he was being zombie mind controlled into trying to kill you, I think he would resist enough to not kill you. The last one is old and fat and I don't care who he is because he's old and fat. I hope Zyzz did some cardio though or my plan is fucked.

>>38906832
Piano owns a bunch of guns which he hides around his house

>>38907137
>I hope Zyzz did some cardio
Zyzz is the king of not doing cardio at all and replacing it with random pharmacy.

>>38906921
Mark does prowler, which is basically weighted HIIT.

Zyzz did literally no cardio. Scooby doesn't look like he does any either.

zyzz coz hes a sick cunt

>>38907137
>he thinks zyzz is dangerous
l-m-a-o you clearly havent seen the vids where he wrestlers his dyel friend and loses

the most dangerous guy in that pic is Poor Guitar

>>38907174
>Mark does prowler, which is basically weighted HIIT.

So he has no cardio, like the other guy said.

Picking Scoobs as the protector.

>>38906806
Rippletits wouldn't just protect you. He would train you to kill the other three.

>start a grueling boot camp of weaponized SS
>diet consists of nothing but milk, steak and raw eggs
>to graduate you must be able to squat 4pl8, deadlift 6pl8, then push a prowler a half a mile to the range and score a perfect shooting test

>>38906806

Rippetoe obviously, just because that's the kind of person he is.

I doubt Piana or Scooby would give two shits about me either way.

And Zyzz, as sick of a cunt as he is (well, was) unfortunately he is (well, was) still Middle Eastern and therefore has (well, had) terrorist genetics. It's like that old story about the dog and the scorpion crossing the river... When push comes to shove, he would still kill you even if it meant killing himself in the process, because it's simply in his nature.

assuming ZYZZ is alive I pick him.

Rich has fucked knees and would gas out in minutes.
Scooby would try to suck ZYZZs dick allowing me to choke him out
Mark is an old fat man

>>38907174
How do you tell from looks lol?

anyway scooby cycles up mountain ranges a lot, he get a fair decent amount of cardio in

>>38906806
Scoobs. He's the only one who does cardio and has healthy knees. Freakshow, old man and corpse can't catch me.

>>38906806
Ghost zyzz will save me and my gainz

Zyzz to protect me. With him watching my back I'd refuse to die out of sheer autistic shonen-shit rocky-style hidden power of not giving up.

>>38907232
If I remember correctly Zyzz was part russian part australian

>>38906806
It's a waiting game desu.

Zyzz will die by himself to a roid heart attack, any moment now.
Rich would be the best protector because he actually has good taste in guns and looks scary, but he too, will die soon in a hearth attack.
Scooby would be the logical choice, but he's a faggot and I don't feel like getting buttfucked.
Therefor I choose Rippetoe, he shall become the victim of Scooby's assrape.

>>38907068

What?

>>38906806
Zyzz ofc
we'd do the fusion dance and fuse into the fucking sikkest kunt ever, the other 3 would die from just looking and mirin'

Scooby because he's an inventor.

Mark battletoad, I'm too aesthetic and need him to help me with my weaknesses. Scooby in a close second though.

S C O O B

> C

O

> O

B

>>38907127
He doesn't need any weight because he actually does leg day, unlike you

>>38907174
scooby is an ironman competitor bro
his cardio vascular endurance is insane especially for his age

>>38906859
>paternally sprinkling whey
Whoever wins, my sides have already lost

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>>38906806
Scoobz, so I can lose my virginity before I die...

>>38906903

Damn, Scooby's husband is hot.

Gooby

>>38906806
mark will protect
zyzz would try to protect and die
scooby would try to suck my dick cause he's a faggot
idk who that faggot at the bottom right is

>>38908879
WHO? The question is WHAT is he.
Because he clearly left humanity behind.

>>38906806
Zyzz is out straight away. Physically inferior to the other 3 in every way except aesthetics. Plus he's only 22 so he wouldn't be more mature/experienced than me.

Scooby is in easily the best shape, does a shit ton of triathlons and bike races, and is like MacGyver because he's always building shit.

Piano has the most firearms experience, which counts for lot. Plus he probably has the most experience in real world sketchy situations.

Rippetoe is in worse shape than scooby, has less firearms experience than panini, and is a raging asshole.

So in conclusion, slight edge to pirahna over scoobs.

>I've been away from /fit/ so long that I never knew scooby was gay

what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Zyzz obviously. He has guardian angel powers. This is an easy choice

>>38906806
scoobs, without a doubt
>piana can only compete against autistic retards and won't have anyone else to fight his fights for him
>zyzz RIP
>rippletits can't do much except try to get you to drink milk until you die
worst thing you have to worry about with scooby is that he'll try to buttfuck you.

>>38907155
yeah, but have you seen his video when he goes shooting? he doesn't know how to handle them.

>>38907068
Depends on the board

/k/ and /out/ for sure though (the best two boards anyway

Rich Fucking Piana is the only correct answer.

>get a portable sauna with an attached dildo on the outside
>put the entrance at jumping/pullup length which deters the piano man
>its a sauna so if zyzz enters he dies
>pull one of those anti-rape female condom kits onto the dildo and scooby dies from bleeding out

>>38906806
Rich
I'll stab his arms when were getting chased by the others and they will slip in the pool of oil he leaves behind. Luckily he took 4 scoops of 5150 before, so he will have the energy to run or fight

Scoob every time
Brb
>guns
>cardio
>intelligence
>aeroplane
>seems like a nice bloke
The only cons are that you might get benised and he won't put on a shirt so you have to be staring at those weird nipples all day.

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>>38906806
I only see Rich Piana... Who are the other three?

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>>38906884
>Rich is fueling a generator with real food.
>being out of gas and filling the tank with real food.

Seems pretty handy/10

>>38906806
Probably 5%

I honestly think he should be dead now. I mean he seriously looks like his body is dying in every video. Since he isn't though, I figure he can probably handle whatever since apparently biology can't do him in

Scooby is high IQ

I go with him

>>38906958
>I've had enough of your shit, Hans

>>38912809
Rich is actually smarter than he gets credit for

>>38906816
Percent >>38906827
Years ago he had a lot to say he had a great day he was the first man I was on a trip and he came the same thing and he came my father to my brother who had a great idea and he came my father came said the same way I was there to help him and he came my brother came said the same way I was there to help the father of a man and the man was the only person I was with my brother came said and was the only person I was there to say he had to go on the field to get a job at all the new year and the same year as he was the first person who had a great deal to help them out of their lives for a year and he came a brother who was a great father

>>38906806
Piano man has cancer, zyzz is dead, scooby is a faggot and ripetoe is about 60 years old. I'll be better off on my own.