>first day at gym >no one will tell me where the bunks

wtf

blankets? pillows? lug?

>>38116037

Most people are smart enough to just follow the map they gave you when you signed up.

And for the love of God, don't ask the gym clown. He will fuck with you the rest of your time there. It's aggravating trying to lift with that fucker juggling ballon penises near your head.

>>38116037
The bunks are in the back usually, right past the link alarm, bud.

>>38116037
Did you miss orientation? They should've given you pillows and a blanky so you didnt have to buy your own...

>>38116103
OP must have signed up with planet fitness
Good luck being forever small

>>38116037
>bringing your own blanket and pillows
lmao, this faggot

>>38116037
At my gym, there are designated 'nap times', where they clear all the equipment off the rubber floored area, and we all get together in a circle with our blankies and pillows and settle down for half an hour, while the receptionist tells us natty gains stories with her Quiet Voice.

>His gym doesn't have separate cots across from the steam room
>He will never experience the comfy from a post workout sesh lobster bake and nap time

>>38116037
Did you sign up for a roommate and get your penis examination done? People aren't going to help if they don't think you're taking things seriously.

My falcon keeps getting too rough with the other falcons. Is he the alpha? I don't know much about their heiarchy.

It's getting so bad, the receptionist is threatening to ban me from the crab leg buffet.

>>38116212

Autism in falcons is common. Socialize him with other birds of prey more often to avoid outbursts.

I can't even park my Giraffe by the garage anymore.

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>that guy who cried when his mom dropped him off for his first day at the gym

>>38116234

My bad, he was pretty good when he was younger. I will get him something to calm him down.

Just be sure that your giraffe is insured. My buddy got fucked over when someone's war elephant knocked over his giraffe.

>>38116387
I've heard of this with rhinos, but what jackass let's their war ele do that shit?

>>38116792

Some Pajeet with a tiny dick has to show off.

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>>38116164
I remember when i went to a shit gym without a designated nap time room with complimentary electric blankets.

>>38116234
>>38117058
My pajeet always tries to fight other people's falcons. Might he be autistic?

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>mfw this whole fucking thread

/tv/ meets /fit/

>tfw your war cheetah refuses to spot you
Fuck, those are the truly sad feels. He then went off to the treadmill for another round. Had to ask the local parrot to do it.

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wait is this a reference to the thread the other day with the guy who wanted to live in his gym because his parents kicked him out

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mfw i sit alone at the gym table inbetween sets

It'll be ok OP, my first few weeks in the gym were tough. I ended up bunking beside a guy named Rich, "CMON" he'd yell in his sleep. It was fucking ridiculous. He murmured and when he tossed and turned you could hear the oil under his skin reaching a resting state.

I ended up getting into a verbal altercation with him shortly after and we had an agreement at that end that we would alternate push/pull days to avoid conflict. Just remember OP, if you don't have a spotter set up yet with the gym ask for one, that's what the spotter program is for. The steam room isn't for wanks, and obviously it's an unspoken rule that you only shit in the handicap stall.

GL brother

>>38116234

I have a sloth and this little fucker is crazy. He does one arm chins in slow motion. It' gotten so bad I can't even bring him to the gym anymore because all the girls flock to him and his mad strength gains.

Does anyone else drink their protein shakes alone in the bathroom stalls while all the other bodybuilders play outside?

what the fuck is tv doing here

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>someone nearly dies on the bench press
>the staff have to call mommy and they send him home

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>tfw someone's pet cobra tries to deadlift

This will never stop being funny