/fit/ I've reached a point in my life in which one thing

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>>38108145

To start it off here is a tool that I've used in the past to overcome anxiousness during public speaking events.
>sit down and visualise yourself having completed whatever it is that is causing you anxiety
>take time to feel the emotions associated with completion/conquering this task, and assume that you've done an amazing job
>watching yourself in the third person, begin to rewind from this moment of completion throughout the process of completing the task
>think quickly, speeding through the process back to the present moment in which you feel the anxiety
>repeat this rewinding visualisation two more times, each time slower than the last

Whenever I've done this my anxiety has decreased substantially and I've delivered good speeches or presentations. If some fear remains after having gone through this process you can go through it again, this time visualising the process from your point of view.

I've actually used this for dates and job interviews as well as public speaking, and each time it's helped me tremendously.

MOST people experience stage freight OP. You are not "missing out" on anything if you are realizing you cannot become this peak of human or some shit that quite frankly is impossible to attain or maintain.

One piece of advice I can offer is to get good at something, and then show it off. This works better in a competitive environment, since controlling your nerve is so important.

Once you do that you will realize that people tend to observe the immediate resultant of things you do, I.E. if you win a tournament but look dumb as fuck doing it, it doesn't matter and people will respect you.

Do this and also learn to laugh at yourself. If you can do both of these then you will have come to experience almost everything that can come from being "in the spotlight".

>>38108145
Grace under pressure is a rare thing. But the thing is, this isn't really pressure. Your scale is too small. You don't need to argue to me that your life is great and full of adventure, you've already made it crystal clear it isn't. It's okay. I just want you to make some ruckus in the world. Spoonfeeding yourself nice little chickenshit advice from TedTalks and self help books is wasting valuable space in your memories. Stop. Its absurd. Your contentment is absurd. Your wall of text is absurd. Embrace reckless abandon.

>>38108205

Great ideas man. You're right, laughing at yourself is massive, and I probably am looking for something unattainable.

>>38108215

Please elaborate on reckless abandon, sounds like you have a no fucks given approach to life?

>>38108145
unfortunately, the advice you're looking for is exactly what we would tell a fat person complaining on how to get in shape. There is no magic pill, no ted talks or youtube pua video that will teach you what to do like >>38108215 said. All it takes is experience and trial and error.

Basically you need to just keep putting yourself in situations that make you feel like that, over and over and over. Repetition is key, just like in the gym. Experience is the most powerful form of knowledge.

I challenge you to try this: next girl you socialize with, just straight up ask for her number. Literally just keep doing that over and over and I assure you after you get rejected a number of times, you will start to not give a shit. It's not awkward and the girl won't care. Just do it

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Highly highly recommend RSDTyler's videos, RSD stands for "real social dynamics" and it's not any trickery or bullshit, he's very articulate in talking about being grounded in these types of pressures. Just scroll through the channel and look at any video title that interests you. I watched these 2 recently and I think they're relevant to you.

>>38108273

You've nailed it. I made this thread looking for some kind of self-validation/shit to read so I could feel like I'm improving my situation and thank you for calling me out on my bullshit. Experience is key, learn through failure - I think I knew this all along I just needed someone to make me man up again.

Thanks /fit/

Meditation did it for me.

>>38108279

Legend man, I'll scope these out too now that they're here. I've heard of RSD but never looked into it before.

>>38108145
Meditation.

The problem with all the advices other anonymous could give you, like a specific way of thinking or specific way of acting, is that it's not coming from you. It's very important that you have you own theory, your own beliefs and just know that you can control the reality around you, which is exactly what meditation gives you, an ever breaking paradigm insightful fast mind.

>>38108477
how do I meditate?

>>38108547
There are many types of meditation. One of the most common one consists in sitting comfortably in a quiet place and just focusing on your breath. If you catch yourself thinking about something in the past, a future worry, or any other thing other than your breathing, go back and focus on it again.

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>>38108477
>>38108561

>>38108602
But really, if someone is having anxiety problems, give meditation a try. I'm not selling anything and you can just do it for 5 minutes a day for a few weeks and see the results. It basically is just learning to focus on the very present moment. For example, if you are giving a presentation, instead of dwelling on anxious thoughts, you just focus on the topic you're presenting, standing there, and in transmitting it in a clear way.

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>>38108629

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>>38108602
>>38108715

Listen OP. I was a fucking awkward fuck in front of crowds like you too. You have to realize that people don't give a shit. Now, don't get me wrong, if you do something really obviously retarded in front of a group of people, they will laugh. But that is almost to obvious. Don't feel like you are so on the spotlight and that everyone is micro analyzing you. I enjoy being the center of attention, a bit too much actually. Why? Its fun, and makes you look good. I think what worked for me is learning to approach strangers/meet new people. Once I realized how little people gave a shit (previously endlessly feared / thought I would get rejected by every slut I talked to) I proceeded to just not give a shit.

Jesus christ Op you write paragraphs to say that you can't talk to girl

You sound like a fucking blithering autistic sperglord.