Help /fit/! I need to lose 40 lbs in 2 hours for my birthday

>>38067961
GOMAD + SS

Saw off your legs. It's the only way anon

>>38068091

This, or cut off your torso. You'll be sure to lose hundreds of pounds that way.

>>38068091
Won't it look funny when I go in and have no legs, though?

>>38067961

Even though this is bait, I can't help but work out the math.

You would need to eat at a -70,000 calorie deficit for two days. So assuming a normal TDEE of 2000, you would basically need to not eat for two days, plus do an additional 68000 calories of cardio per day, or 2833 calories per hour assuming you went for 24 hours straight.

2.5 minutes of sprinting at 100% effort is said to burn 200 calories. So theoretically you could burn 4800 calories in an hour by sprinting at 100% top speed for an hour straight. So, in about 7 hours of continuous sprinting, you COULD theoretically burn the calories required.

I say go for it. Post video.

>>38068195

No, wait, I fucked that up, I divided in half twice. 14 hours of top speed sprinting per day, for two days.

Just take a dump you fat fuck

>>38068178
>2016
>still using legs

Best way to lose 15 pounds of ugly fat immediately is cut off your head

>>38068178
If anyone says anything about it, scream rape and crawl away while flailing your stumps and shit everywhere

Get all those pitty tickets

>>38068221
Why doesnt he just sprint twice his top speed 7 hours each day???

>>38067961
Simple, anon, you remove your stomach.
By itself yours should weigh 40lbs.

the only weight you're losing in 2 days is water weight. put on some trash bags and start cycling in the sauna. take diuretics and laxatives too

>>38068268
This is illegal in my country actually, addhole

Speaking of limb loss though, are there any rough calculation for the caloric needs of limbs? Wonder how big a difference in maintenance it could make as an amputee.

>>38068256

Ah, good point. I hadn't considered that. I mean if you're not giving 200% effort, then WTF is the point of living? 110% effort is so 2015.

>>38067961
Op it's quite simple you see we kill the batman

>>38070018
This