Alright I can't believe I'm asking this but Im asking

Jus B Urself

>>38020032
go to her place and make out, maybe fuck if she has condoms.

have fun.

Why would you use a condom?

Just go with the flow and fake it till you make it.

Also if you think you're gonna cum too fast just think about baseball or dead puppies.

God speed anon

>>38020032
are you for real? just go to her place and fuck her

Sounds like a slut
Buy condoms

>>38020032
I don't understand why you didn't just explain that you were trying to leave humanity behind and didn't have time for gainz goblins

>>38020054
he spills his spaghetti a lot, obviously. we were all shitty once

>>38020074
>we were all shitty once
>still posting on /fit/
Pick one

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>Go to her place
>Before things heat up for real
>Tell her it's been a long time since you started losing weight and going to the gym and you would love for her to take the lead for sometime.

Voilaaa..

>>38020087
alright fine, we're both shitty

>>38020032
>Alright I can't believe I'm asking this but Im asking for help from the chan

Don't worry breh, you've come to the right place!

>>38020032
Act like you want to fuck her, have a good time you lucky bastard. Also how tall are you?

Ask her if she's an archaeologist

>>38020032
You get to her place, make out with her, maybe ask her to suck your dick, if you don't wanna say you're a virgin say you haven't had sex in 3 months, that'll explain why you cum quick the first time, then penor in vagoo and make sure you pull out.

Allright guys I literally just came to the gas station to fill up to full just to see responses. I stopped pumping just to get more time and will tell her its slow

so all the advice is relax and sex her should I like try to sex her the moment we walk in like start putting the moves on or wait. What if she doesnt have condoms and expected me to have some should I go back inside the gas station and buy those 2 pack things?

On the drive over she was talking about how she was watching me get stronger over the past month and said shed be afraid if I was her bf since I could force her to do anything then kinda like changed subjects super fast about pokemon and if I played.

When I get to her place I'll act like I'm putting stuff in my trunk to see if there is any last advice before I either make it or fuck it up and leave to come home early. I'll ask if shes an archeologist if she says no I'll use the full line

>>38020231
Don't ask the archeaologist shit you fucking idiot. When you get to her place and step in go in for a kiss and go on from there. Tell her how you've seen her change over the past months and hint that you are attracted to her. If you're not confident your going to pull out buy condoms right now

>>38020231
Even right now when your driving in your car grab her hand and hold onto it if your capable of driving with one hand but your too autistic too figure out what to do so I doubt you could

>>38020231
Just be natural op. DO NOT DROP THE SPAGHETTI
Also whats the full archaeologist thingy

>>38020231

Just buy the condoms at the gas station fool

>>38020231
DO NOT fucking use the archaeologist line
don't jump into sex right away, just run your hand over her thigh and casually escalate into a fingering, and i think you know where to go from there.

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>>38020032
>>38020231
incoming spgahetti story

mods pls dont delete

>>38020231
Pls no archaeologist. Buy condoms for sure. Foreplay first or she wont be wet. When you make out push her back against the wall bitches love that shit. Just go for it as soon as you two walk through the door. If doesn't reciprocate she was teasing you all along.

Ask if she has a gag reflex

>>38020231
NO LINES


OP, THINK

SHE WANTS TO FUCK YOU AS YOU ARE, YOU DON'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING


don't gas stations have condoms?

also, when you guys start turning up, just do whatever you want, whatever feels natural. worst case scenario, she stops you from one thing at one time and you continue as you were

Ask her to join you in the shower retard

>>38020342
Hahhahaah c'mon anon

do not do some beta shit like telling her your a virgin or saying its been a while or anything close to that, girls dont want to hear that shit
just try to flirt like you have been doing and act the way she is acting so its not akward, make it seem natural

>>38020426
>dont be beta
>be insecure and pretend you're not going to cum in 15 seconds so she'll be pleasantly surprised when you do

>>38020032
>
godspeed op

>>38020484
if he cums then he cums
there is absolutely no advantage to not owning himself and going on as he has, which has been clearly proven to work for him

I think I spaghettied but I can't tell if she noticed or not. So I filled up and told her I wanted to get a muscle milk or whatever she asked for one as well it was my way of buying the condoms without her wondering why I went back in to the store. My wallet is stuffed with money for tomorrow which doesnt matter but I just thought of movies where they had the condom in wallets so I just stuffed it just inside and closed the wallet not putting it in a pocket or whatever since itd be easier to grab

I give her the muscle milk and we start driving to her place shes giving me directions. We are making small talk about the gym when I used the archeologist line yeah I see now everyone saying not to use thanks I needed that earlier.

I ask her if she is one and she laughs no and asks why then I say the full line. She gets quiet then says is that why you have this she grabbed my wallet from the cup holder since I always put it there and I just now realized the condom wrapper was sticking out a little and she was holding it in her hand . I have never felt this hot before in my life but tried playing it cool and just said yes if Im going to fail Id rather not get into her house to fail and just do it now. It got very quiet till she said she stinks and might need to take a shower before me

She is waiting for me inside her apartment I said I need to grab some stuff . I guess I didn't fuck up that bad if she is still letting me in .

Fuck since this is anon I can say I'm scared my hearts racing as fuck man.

>>38020537
GO IN FOR THE KILL, IF SHE DIDNT DROP YOU AFTER THAT FUCK UP YOU'RE IN ANON

>>38020518
He can tell her to suck his dick first.

Advantages: Better sex for girl, 2 cums, dick gets sucked

>>38020537
You fucked up bad retard now she thinks you're autistic because you didn't pick up on her inviting you to shower with her and she just verbally and obviously retracted that offer.

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>>38020537
dude you're not gonna make it, bail out now

>>38020537
Amazing

>>38020537
Anon.. You're making it.

I'm so proud. Get in there champ ;_;

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ALRIGHT LADS PLACE YOUR BETS ON THE OUTCOME OF THIS THREAD

500 SHEKELS OP SPAGHETTI'S BEFORE THE FIRST KISS

>>38020050
This is how you do it. Its how I lost my virginity.
Talk big, be confident. Whats the worse that happens? You go to a different gym?

>>38020663
>go to a different gym
a fate worse than death

ok guys she actually did start taking a shower before me and now im just sitting on her bed

We came in and she told me to put my stuff in her room and showed me around then said to absolutely never ever ever ever touch a certain drawer while we were standing next to it but she just kept standing there looking at me. I think she wanted me to open it so I did and it was her bra and panties stuff to which she got like play angry yelling no while hitting me a little on my arm

she said she was going to take a shower first and to wait for her on her bed . my heart is racing as fuck Ive never been this closed to a naked girl before fuck it I'm fucking up who cares if I say that

ok i just started sweating and my hearts racing this might be my last post hopeful or you will get another soon . She is yelling at me to get her a towel and telling me where it is but to keep my eyes closed when she opens the door .

im just going to try to figure out foreplay then see how long I can last when she falls asleep i will leave fuck this might be my first time having sex thanks fit if it works

>>38020655
I believe in our baby boy. Don't be a faggot.

>>38020655
>>38020692
suspense is building desu

>>38020663
why would you?
worst case scenario just delete the memory and act like nothing ever happened, no need to change anything

>>38020537
HE FUCKING DID IT, HE USED THE ARCHAEOLOGIST LINE
Holy shit OP I'm all out of words here hats off to you.

>>38020685
Don't just fucking bail after you guys fuck, stay for the awkward morning.

Who knows, you could be her oneitis.

>>38020685
you can do it, just don't shit the bed

>>38020685
not sure, but she may be testing to see if you'll go in there

i'm not sure because, you know, i can't see her

>>38020685
Holy shit op
go over there you idiot
she wants you to get on the shower with her

>>38020685
lol, if this isn't fake, she knows you are an autistic beta ass virgin, she is teasing you.

Good thing is it seems she wants to fuck you anyway, so, good luck

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>>38020696
>>38020692
READ >>38020685

if he's never been this close to naked girl, no way he'll get through foreplay

Is this whole thread a ruse? The dude's typing paragraphs literally next to her.

>>38020735
Yep, it's pretty obvious, he didn't take anyone's advice, the story is pre-written.

>>38020685
so as some of us have been commenting, she may be wanting you to go in there, even if she told you not to go


the rule she gave you with the drawer may very well have been an overt hint
>she told you not to do something, and straight up waited for you to do the opposite

don't be an idiot anon

>>38020685
anon are you seriously going to wait on her bed? take off your clothes u fucking beta and get in the shower with her she obviously wants to fuck, hurry up nigger

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>>38020759
>I asked him to get a towel for me
>and then I he came in ass naked and tried to get in the shower with me

>>38020750
>she told you not to do something, and straight up waited for you to do the opposite

And that is why it's hard to sympathize with so many of the rape victims today

Wait until she pulls out a strap on or some shit
>plot twist
>SHE wants to FUCK you

>>38020776
do you not see she wants to fuck him this whole time? your a fucking idiot. she purposely forgot a towel. might as well start the fug early

>>38020050
Thats how you get a bitch pregnant, use a condom anon

>>38020781
no, it's not hard at all
maybe you're trying to be funny, but there are people who seriously think that


her giving him these hints and playfully flirting with him is in no way the same as someone asking a girl for sex, and then proceeding regardless of violent opposition

>>38020799
its about going through the motions and doing the dance, no matter what youll be the autist if you went into the bathroom naked

>>38020759
yea anon burst into her shower with a towel over your dong and yell surprise and grope her breasts

>>38020818
kek

>>38020685
>She is yelling at me to get her a towel and telling me where it is but to keep my eyes closed when she opens the door .
dude she straight up wants you to fuck her

fucking seriously, she's holding you by the fucking hand and babystepping everything

fucking a man

>>38020285
please respond

Oh man i had a great laugh. Also nice paragraph typing skills

>>38020834
let her babystep the virgin anon, it's easier this way

>>38020845
>sperging out over an anon's obliviousness, despite the girl obviously taking care of everything

been caught slippin desu

>>38020815
>>38020818
It's better than being autistic and literally having her do everything for you. It makes you look more like a man if you just go in. Plus fugging in the shower is based.

>>38020032
>works out to get a nicer body that will attract females for sex
>attracts a female that is telling you that she wants to have sex with you
>gets scared and doesn't want to have sex
If you're this autistic just stop working out and stay at home. Fuck

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this is the most hilarious thing I have read all day
>this will probably end up happening to me

>>38020857
>tfw I'm a nigga with dreads and have to tell girls I don't want to fuck in the shower because my hair will get wet

This hurts the masculinity.

>>38020856
I really can't discern what you are trying to say

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What's the archaeologist line please help

fake as shit and undeserving of its own thread. post this shit in a feels thread where it belongs.

>>38020857
please show an a non-autistic scenario that would lead to sex in the show in OP's case

>>38020881
im sorry anon, why dont u just cut the dreads and get a fade instead?

>Is that why you have this?

10/10 story telling, great lead-up

>>38020818
Towel over the dong? I real CHAD would just put a sock, her sock to make it look bigger

OP's an anime watching porn addict for making up stories on a friday night. Keep the fantasies to yourself, virgin.

I'm disappointed in /fit/ for eating this shit up but I now realize the actual demographic of this board. Bunch of betas.

>>38020887
I have a big bone for you to inspect

>>38020893
Well considering how she literally hinted to both of them showering at the same time
>she says i can take a shower at her place
>she said she needed a shower as well
if he literally went into the bathroom and took off his clothes i doubt she would consider that autistic at all. She's obviously horny and would let him smash whether or not it was autistic and OP's probably going to do something even more autistic than doing what I stated.

>>38020918
>his whole literal plan is to pull the naked man like an autist skipping foreplay and the buildup

>>38020926
I bet OP would be shit at foreplay anyway since he hasn't even seen a girl naked before you fuck. Who said they couldn't rub up on eachother and make out in the shower and him fingerbanging her? You're dull as fuck anon

>>38020944
if you think the naked man is a great route for a first fuck with a girl you are the dumb one

>>38020957
Sure it might not be a good route but OP is a complete sperg and would probably end up going on a way worse route. Nothings better than sex in the shower

>>38020032
Get her to talk to you about random shit by feigning interest. Respond in a way that allows her to talk more (ie: "that shows funny I like that one character")

>>38020883
the greentext is my behavior

then i admit that i have been caught slippin ie put myself in a bad situation, making a mistake, fucked up and now paying for it

>>38020968
even if OP wasn't a virgin the naked man is just being retarded and creates much more risk than necessary

>>38020915
>>38020839
>>38020285

>>38020881
why don't you get a high fade

black hair w high fade aesthetic as fuark

>>38020985
What risk is there? The girl obviously is going to have sex with him and is ignoring his autism

>>38020895
They look good (imo), attract the snow bunnies, and cover up the receding hairline. Since I'm mixed and speak without a trace of the "Ebonics accent" hair alone hasn't hindered any of my employment.

The shower thing isn't that big of a deal because a substantial amount of girls will turn down shower sex for the same reason.

>>38021008
being if you don't do the dance its a turn off you nitwit


the moment she invited him over its obvious she wanted to fuck doesn't mean he can strip down in her living room and fuck her right there

>>38021019
>dreads and no ghetto talk
are you a wizard anon?

OP is the most autistic fag ever.

Who is asking for advice from a fucking internet community right before they get laid?

>>38021033
not him but dreads aren't a ghetto thing

>>38021062
in chicago they are

>>38020685

OP if you do sleep over, take a picture of her in bed before you leave and for God's sake turn the flash off and turn off all sounds/volumes

>>38021094
>not wanting that beautiful, surprised, red eyed, what the fuck face

It's like you aren't even building a collection.

>>38021067
like full on long dreads?
or do you mean the chief medium length


i'd say there's a difference

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>>38021106

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Either OP got tired of trolling everyone or he's getting it in right now

>>38021127

He is an autist like no other.

OP will not leave us hanging.

Or he's getting fucked in the ass cuz she wants to fuck him.
She's the alpha in this whole story, she's the one pulling the moves and leading him into her house getting ready to pounce on that ass, OP is just a Beta pussy fart piece of meat

>>38021196
i would happily trade places with him

Is OP getting it on or what?

Don't be a faggot OP

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>>38020537
FUCKING LEGEND

Where the fuck is op, im losing my stiffie

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>>38020032
Make us proud!

>>38021196
>implying everyone wants to always be in charge during sex

Sorry bro but I'm an area supervisor for a local industrial plant and I don't like being in charge during sex. I'm not talking about ball busting or femdom, but I think its hot when a woman takes charge. But that still doesn't mean I can't pull hair, choke, and jackhammer the shit out of a pussy if she wants me to.

But I'd prefer a woman to take charge.

>its been two hours since ops last post

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Fucking screencap this shit.

>inb4 fake
Pic related

>>38021398
Oh no I wasn't implying any of that.
I wrote that because I'm into it and could only wish to be in that kind of situation.
I'm an artist btw, and like working out, just putting it out there.

>>38021426
he's probably dead

i may be alone on a friday night but at least i can live vicariously through OP

>>38020776
>tried
if he's got the balls to strip and get in a girls shower, he's gonna fucking succeed at that

>Local autistic man stabbed to death in apartment

>>38021708
>suffered traumatic slip and fall injury while assaulting woman in shower

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OP pls respond

OP YOU LEGEND

YOU BETTER BE FUCKING YOUR DICK OFF

fucking get it OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTjt6bKlubQ

Hey guys OP here you guys did it you helped me lose my v card let everyone say fit is shit but damn it you guys really came through

I'd respond to you all but it's just a hassle on my phone so I'll just reply here to everyone. Yeah everyone is right I went and spilled spaghetti she could probably tell and had zero experience but death grip saved the night! When I went to give her the towel she said to keep my eyes closed but I did not understand and she opened the door completely to her being naked in front of the door she yelled and grabbed the towel but her hair wasnt wet after that she came out in only the towel and started fighting with me about how I should have had my eyes closed. I wasn't use to her room and fell to the floor after that she ran over and leaned over me and we started kissing.

I was all over the place it was probably like getting kissed by a dog but fuck man I wanted to kiss her entire body the moment she straddled me I was rock hard and she could feel it through my shorts I don't know if the foreplay was good or not but I was so fucking nervous of getting inside her that I didn't feel shit then I realized it was because of death grip. Once I realized it was death grip it kinda got easier since I knew I probably wouldn't nut and I went to town so long that she had to tell me to stop but fuck I was so horny I just kept wanting more of her but I finally found a way to nut when I realized I really liked her moaning and just focused on that and nutted so hard like no lie my ass started to hurt I felt like I was just trying to drain every last drop into the condom inside her but fuck my ass felt like it had doms

I just woke up and let myself out while locking the door behind me so I'm in my car now outside you guys were right I should have taken a fucking picture but fuck I'm wired as hell

When I get home I'm going to sleep but last question when we see each other do I just say hi or just ignore her

>>38022508
using phones to do anything on the internet is annoying anyway thanks guy for everything sure you can laugh or whatever but again thanks you made me lose my v card

>>38022508
our fucking guy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaIW0URYK8o

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>>38022508
Mah nigga!
Say hi, don't be a dick. Don't be needy either, let her come to you if you want more.

>>38022508
LET IT BE KNOWN

HE FUCKING DID IT

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>>38020537
bust a nut in that cunny

you made it bro!

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>>38022508
HE DID IT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NuFVQk_CCs

>>38022557
i don't think you're using that word right

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>>38022508
OUR FUCKING BOIIII

>>38022508

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FowLDgIXGG0

>>38022508
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iwBM_YB1sE

>>38022508
Just say hi again, this might turn out to be a kind of gym acquaintances with benefits situation if you're lucky.

>>38022508
HE FUKKEN DID IT!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx51eegLTY8

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>>38022508
Include me in the screencap


Gratz op,what she look like?

I've been waiting all day/night for this. yas.

Congrats man.

We helped someone get laid for the first time guys.

We are truly a wonderful place.

I love you all.

>>38020231
stop using your phone at a petrol station

>>38022885
One for the books lads, one for the books

>>38022508
Proud of you anon, fucking ledge.

Someone aware me. What's the archeologist line?

>>38023185
>are you an archeologist? because I have a large bone that needs examining

Of course you tell her hi, with a little hug even.

Send her a text, don't say thanks, fucking don't, just something like: it was nice, unfortunately i had to leave cuz ____ but i'll see you around the gym.

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>>38022508
way to go op!

side question if you're a virgin and about to fuck is there ever a situation you should bring it up? or just completely ignore it

put me in the screen cap nigga

>>38023613

Better off not bringing it up under most scenarios.

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>>38020231
>I'll ask if shes an archeologist if she says no I'll use the full line

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>>38022508
MY SON

i just don't see how op can't fuck her.

>>38022885
it feels good finally being in a screencap, i was the shower guy :^) feelsgoodman

>>38020121
>>38022508

Told ya m80!

>>38022508
Look who just joined the club...

Grats OP. You didn't touch her penis right? That makes you not a faggot.

Mah nigga FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF HER. DO IT FOR US ANON AND REPORT BACK

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>>38022508

>>38022508
My nigga. Went to bed when this thread was opened, woke up refreshed. Good for you anon, this motivates me!

Just got back from some morning cardio and saw this, lifted my spirits and gave my more faith in the board, good job anon

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Holy shit I'm glad I witnessed this thread live. I was in the office when this started and went home seeing that OP's operation was a success. I am proud!

10/10 godspeed anon.

>>38022885
shit fucking screen cap, text is covering an op update, fix it ty

>tfw your problem isn't your frame or even your face
>tfw you have no game whatsoever

>go to a party last night
>meet a lot of people
>a lot of casual convo
>but end up with a dry dick at the end of the night because you can't flirt for crap

It's literally the final frontier. Help me /fit/

>>38020050
STD's and pregnancy ain't a joke. Enjoy your chlamydia, faggot.

>>38025046
Stop spamming this shit in every thread.

>>38025076
Have to do whatever it takes to get those (You)s fampachi.

>>38025076
I'm trying to get real responses. I met too many people to not get at least a phone number out of the night

>>38025115
did you ask for anyone's number you fucking asshole?

>>38020032
you look like a girl op

>>38025128
I personally didn't feel like the conversations were flirty enough to even go for the number.

>>38022508
He actually did it the absolute madman

>>38025191
Who says they have to be? You can ask for someone's number without there having been obvious sexual chemistry, you know. That's why you usually use that number to set up a date, so you can find out whether there is sexual chemistry.

>>38022508
Good job OP
Woke up this morning and checked to see if you did it, way to go bro!

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>>38020032
OP I am proud good job son

>>38025290
So a casual, mildly long conversation is enough of an excuse to get a girl's number?

Oh man fell asleep last night on him doing the towel thin only to wake up and see tjat our fellow fotizen succeded. Gj

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OP ACTUALLY ISN'T A FAGGOT

>>38022508
posting in an ebun bread.

Good job OP, sounds like it went better than my first time!

>>38020032
She wants you to fuck her in the shower. Go and do it.

>>38022508
You absolute madman, you should text her saying you had a good time

>>38022508
>>38022508
great job bro, ignore her like the whore she is, thatll make her think twice before sleeping with another random autistic fuck

>>38020050
Lol thats how you end up with a dead puppy fetish

I'm an autistic permavirgin too OP. As I read through this story I would read your posts and tell myself that you were really dumb and how could you not see her signals and how I would try to be alpha, like when she went into the shower I would just follow her in, or when she was talking about needing a towel I would say "I have one out here, come get it" or something like that, but in the end I know I would be as autistic as you were

>>38020231
>said shed be afraid if I was her bf since I could force her to do anything

Wait what the fuck, she just randomly started talking about you being her boyfriend?

OP you're asking if you should ignore her or play it cool. Dude, she was in the car with you one time and already fantasizing about how you would be a dominant boyfriend with her

Next time you see her in the gym have some small talk but then think up something to do and tell her she's coming with you. She mentioned Pokemon Go... tell her that you've never played before and that you want her to help you learn, or if you told her you do play then go somewhere together to play it. And when you're doing that with her, be touchy with her, like touching her hand when you look at her phone and play fight with her if she's gonna get a pokemon before you or something

>>38020685
>she said she was going to take a shower first and to wait for her on her bed

thats where you fucked up OP, you should have said "but i need a shower too" and walked right in with her

>>38022508
>I just woke up and let myself out while locking the door behind me

wait... you have a key to her apartment?

>>38020087
kek

>>38020128
manlet detected

>>38026838
Shower sex sucks

>>38027184
you dont have to have sex in the actual shower. just go in there and actually shower, clean each other off while playing around a bit, dry each other off, maybe look at each other in the mirror for a minute wrapped in a towel, and just walk naked straight to bed