Be autistic, forever alone beta /fit/ fag. Walk into room.

Spin 360 degrees and leave.

>>37837413
>spin 360 degrees
Wouldn't you be facing the same way then wtf

>>37837436
>It's another "How new are you" episode

Pull dick out and start to fap.

>>37837280
Looks western European. Denmark/Netherlands/Germany?

(I would gtfo btw. I can't deal with so many women)

Ask where the fuck my seat is.

>>37837280
I PUT OUT MY GODAMN DICK AND I START RAPE! :)

>>37837280
Well, whats the occasion?
Am I on time, or to late?
Do I know these people?

>>37837280
>I must have gotten the wrong address, sorry ladies
>Enjoy your evening
Then I'd leave.

>>37837571
You know 2 people fairly well, its Staceys birthday and you're late

>Ask who the lucky birthday girl is.
>Proceed to lapdance her as I take my clothes off
>?????
>Profit

>>37837626
Something doesn't add up here.

>be autistic
>be late

I don't see that happening, why was I late? Was I in a car accident?

>>37837626
"Sorry for being late! I'll just hand out the present after the meal, it looks delicious!"
Proceed to sit down and make some small talk with those around me after co gratulating Stacey.

It's not that hard people.

>>37837280
I'll be fine. I don't have enough spaghetti in my pockets for all of them.

>>37837280
say "it smells like fresh pussy in here"

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>>37837280
"Well hello. I'm not meant to be in here but I would LOVE to join this party. Who wants to suck my cock?"

I put on my balaclava and say the same rhyme to them that i sing to all my victims.

"The chickens sez cluck, your boyfriends a cuck, now get on your knees cos my cock you will suck"

And then i chase them all through the woods. Fuelled by ramen and lucozade sport i eliminate them one one until i reach the fin survivor. When i find her i call her "Mommy" and put a hole in her shoulder with a knife, and then i fuck it until she dies.


And then i go for a mcflurry.

>>37837280
slowly back out

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>>37837280
>the p-party won't stop with me tehee
>why was I invited to this again stacey?
>oh yea, to do my job
>I take off my shirt and jump right on the table with the food
>pour the win over my abs while looking in their eyes
>kick the wine glass
>it hits another stacey's eye
>they start screaming what the fuck are you doing
>I don't care, I am a male stripper
>rip off my pants and start wiggling my penis that is stuck in my tight thong
>fucking waiter comes with security trying to grab me
>waiter gets hold my dick
>our eyes meet
>I tell him he is now gay
>waiter yells no
>security jumps on me
>the table breaks
>I squish myself out of it and grab the waiter that is trying to run away
>YOU ARE NOT RUNNING AWAY FROM THIS GAY BOY
>pull him from his legs towards me
>because the waiter is an dyel faggot he concedes to my alpha bulked genetic hand
>I take off my thong and throw in staceys face
>stacey with an horrified look is in awe
>I rips the waiters pants and start penetrating his anus
>I grab him and start doing the helicopter
>everybody in the restaurant is screaming and crying
>the cum in me starts to fill up on the top of my dick
>I SHALL NOT LOSE MY GAINS AGAIN
>DO A ROLL OVER
>AND STRETCH MY MOUTH TO MY DICK, CUM IN MY OWN FUCKING MOUTH
>I roar while doing my heroic pose
>cops arrive
>they tell me to stop flexing
>I tell them to go fuck a pig
>and rush towards them while flinging my semi erected penis
>they shoot me
>I lay down on the ground and look up in the sky and slowly whisper
[spoiler]>I made it bro[/spoiler]

>>37837436

No, you don't understand. We here in /fit/ are so swole that it actually takes us 720 degrees to turn one full circle.

Flexing and farting uncontrollably.

>>37837763
Lel so random XD

>>37837436
That's why you always should do a 720 spin

>>37837693
SMELL LIKE PUSSY TO ME

>>37837480
you are shit at recognizing crackers. germanics look nothing like this. these are pure anglo genes.

>>37837280

>sup
>you save me a seat?

>>37837480
Looks Norwegian to me. If I didn't know any better I think I might know two or three of them, but I don't recognize anyone else so I might be mistaken.

>>37837280
"whatta fuck is this? get out of here, i need to rest, alone, im tired of my workout"

>>37837280
>Damn yall look good what's the occasion?
>Shyly grin and flip my wavy brown locks
>Witness an indoor niagra falls.

>>37837684
You were edging for 2 hrs

>>37837280
>Don't fucking look at me, im here to eat and rest

just say sup and find a seat.

>>37837626
throw my fedora towards the empty seat and flip over the table catching it on my head just as I land sitting down

>>37837280
I'm assuming they're brits, so I would walk in and introduce myself. They seem pretty cool. I'd definitely play the american bachelor card

>Hey girls, names anon
>Let's get some drinking games going,
>maybe strip poker if youre lucky.

Profit?

>>37838248
AAAAAAand they look at you with a frown, nobody saying anything. You remain just standing there in silence

>>37837436
S U M M E R
U
M
M
E
R

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Ask when are the guys gonna get here

>>37838277

>wow, brexit must have hit you guys pretty hard.

If still no laughter or introductions
>"welp, cya later"

sluts

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>>37837280
I wouldn't know what to say. My eyes would dart around anxiously and cause my autism to increase exponentially. My pupils would enlarge and shrink rapidly while the aspergers holds onto my brain tighter and tighter and my muscles bulge out more and more in a strange fight or flight response that only the autismic of autismos would feel.

And then it hits me.

I must lift.

I must lift everything in sight.

I quietly shufflewalk to the dining table, stand up on it, and let out autistic growls of anger as I fart and shit spaghetti onto the nearest plate. I then lift said plate. Then the next plate. Then the next plate.

I lean into the nearest woman and scream "I LIFT 8PL8 M8!" in her ear and then lift her up along with the plates. Then I stack another woman on top of her, then the next, all while farting and yelling.

I let my autism boil over, seethe if you will, as my eyes grow farther apart and I think about waifus.

That's it: waifus.

I stack more women on top of me, trudging along the top of the dinner table until I get to the very end, where one lone woman is looking on in horror.

I squat.

I get up.

I squat again.

I get up again.

I fart.

I squat.

I shit my pants.

Then I quietly whisper yell at her: "Daidouji is my waifu" (pic related)

I do a hanging leg lift and walk away.

>>37838449

Awesome. Would read again. Moar perhaps?

>>37837280
Does anyone have the /fit/ modified version of this?

It had things like "alien/10 would not fugg" "pointy elbows" and stuff like that.

>>37837280
>>37837280
Why the fuck would I be ever attending an event hosted by these women.

Who the fuck would invite someone like me.

I would never be here.

Fuck you.

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>>37838750

I would wonder how all the food got made if the women were not in the kitchen ...

>>37837280
freeze and pretend to be dead until they look away and then leave

All of them are wearing make up so at least some sort of self-consciousness is present in all of them. I'd be chill, I guess, but would probably make an excuse to leave the room as I probably couldn't handle their attention before they realise I'm not really interesting.

>>37837457
>>37838285

>it's another actual summer "just old enough to know a meme but not the sub memes" thread

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>>37837436
>Wouldn't you be facing the same way then wtf
>Ignoring orientation entanglement
>Not realizing that a full spin is 720 degrees

suck my dink pl0xx

>>37838882
Text covering face always gets me

>>37837280
Say "geez, it looks like every single person I've ever slept with is here."

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>>37837280
There are only 2-3 cuties in that pic so I'd be fine.

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>>37839461
>humans are spin 1/2 particles
Lmao

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>>37837280

"awul lotta honkies in here"

>>37838103
>>37837693

"Oi, fish in ya?"

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>>37837280

Ask if I they need any refills.

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>>37837685
Unfortunately you failed.

responding seriously to such an obvious shitposting/joke-thread is clear indication you lack any social awareness AKA you probably have autism

>>37837280
Its probably family, so

>the fuck yall looking at

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>"You're so handsome anon"
>"I bet girls are all over you at college"
>"How come you don't have a girlfriend?"

Make it stop

>>37837685
You learning how to be social from them Mr.men books lad?

>>37837989
>spin 720 degrees
Wouldn't you be facing the same way then wtf

I would literally bang any of those 14 grills, not one uggo

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>>37839420

>>37841218
I would agree were it not for the fat red bug in the lower left side of the image.

>>37841312
Don't lie to yourself

>>37837280

I'd never be in such an environment in the first place.

The majority of those women look like they'd make me want to shoot myself after listening to them talk for 5 minutes.