>finally go to gym >can't figure out how to use any

>why reading the sticky is so hard

>>36989004
Read a book about exercise first or even a mens health and fitness magazine

I'm not a complete retard so I watched YouTube videos on proper form and use of said weights. People still stared but I gave no fucks cause at least the way I'm using the equipment is correct and I'm not gonna hurt myself.

I wish you lived around me man. Id show you how to do everything. Ive got a really weird friend whos trying to get into lifting. he lifes 3 hours away. i wish him the best but without someone showing him the ropes, i dont have much hope for him.

> Why do gyms just assume you know everything?

They don't. Why do you assume that they'll read your mind? If you need help you should just ask people/staff, I'm anyone would help.

Its bad etiquette to give out unsolicited advice, so if you want help you need to solicit it.

>>36989004

>Going to a gym without doing any research at all

absolutely wew lad, what did you expect?

>>36989004
lol mfw the instructions are on the machines.

I literally cannot phantom how you have no clue to work a machine. Almost all machines are seated too. And literally 99% will have instructions on it.

>finally go to the library
>can't figure out how to use any of the books
>don't know what to do with the magzines either, kind of try opening one up but notice everyone looking at me weird so put it down and go home

This is how retarded you sound, OP

>finally go to the pool
>cant figure out how to use the pool
>dont know what to do with the showers too, kind of try to cup my hands under the showerhead and throw the water directly over my head but notice everyone looking at me weird so turn it off and go home

File: no.jpg (12KB, 320x320px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 320x320px

>>36989252
>>36989295

please stop, I'm a person not a meme

File: 1461688960439.jpg (22KB, 432x319px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 432x319px

sorry to be the one to tell u this but u don't "learn" how to work out. You have to acquire the skill with exactly 4 scoops. After the 4 scoops your body will understand the fundamentals of weightlifting and you will be well on your way!

>>36989004
I consider myself autismo as machismo, and even I didn't do that poorly at the gym my first time.

I sat in the car for 30 minutes before I went in with the plan all in my head:
>what to do if there's no locker room
>what to do if the locker room is full and they have no lockers to rent
>what to do if the locker room is full and lockers are day-use lockers
>what if they don't have towels for rent?
>long list of contingencies for the conversation about membership

I'd done a ton of research online and found as many pictures of the place as I could so I'd know what was around and what their membership structures were.

Once completely psyched up in the car, I was able to go in, pretend to be an actual functioning human with actual human interests and abilities.

I spent the next hour on some kind of fucking ellilptical machine on the lowest setting (as planned) that was pointed outward so I could see most of the gym and could just watch people come and go and do exercises so I could get used to the environment.

Really, how autistic are you? How did you not think of that? qt receptionist pull you off your autist game? Come on man, plan ahead.

go to the squat rack tomorrow and put on 2 plates and show everyone whos the boss of the gym

>>36989969
You did well man. Props on making that first step.

> please stop I'm a faggot not a meme

>>36989985
This