>see this guy running every morning in front of my house with

call the police, nigga is clearly stealing parachutes

Stop him, obviously. This shit cannot be tolerated.

>>36557185
OH MY FUCKING GOD THE FOUND ANOTHER VICTIM
I TOLD HIM TO NOT SELL THAT PARACHUTE
I TOLD HIM IT WAS CURSED
RUN NIGGA RUUUN

w2c running parachute ?

Clearly you're not a runner. When you improve your speed over years of training, how else are you gonna come to a complete stop? You have to deploy the chute about 100 feet before your final destination or any red lights, otherwise you ain't stopping.

>inb4 cardio kills gains

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>>36557229
>Nowhere to run to, baby
>Nowhere to hide
>Got nowhere to run to, baby
>Nowhere to hide
> :((((((

I'm thinking to use it on my treadmill I have in my garage, would this actually improve my gainz ?

>>36557328

Yes. Treadmills don't have much resistance on their own, buy one of those chutes and use it for sprints to get that HIIT going.

>>36557489
>CHUTES WILL WORK ON TREADMILLS.

itt: shitposting

>>36557328
>>36557489
>not understanding basic physics
>>36557503
this guy is not retarded

Tell him directions to drag racing track because obviously hes lost

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set this up on your sidewalk

>>36557503
>>36557529

>not having a 60 inch floor fan in front of your treadmill to keep you cool

It's like you don't even want to train hard senpai.

>>36557529
Found the German

>>36557529
u must be fun at partys

>>36557185
>Train to do the human flag
>hang with feet pointing the direction he runs
>as he runs past, yell "nigga, grab my hand before you fall"
>use the few seconds his ape brain needs to realise gravity isn't fucked up and he's not really parachuting to lynch him

Buy a bigger parachute and run past him to assert dominance

>>36560262

This. You're getting punked senpai, gotta take charge of your block.

>>36557185
go to the club and slap his girlfriend's ass

>>36557544
not big enough to do anything other than vent a room. you're thinking airplane shit.

>>36557240
Saw one at walmart today

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i used one if those parachutes before, they fucking wreck your cabs feels sooogoud

>set industrial fan up infront of your treadmill, turn it on and start running on the treadmill
>add more fans over a few weeks
>???
>run through tornadoes

>>36557185

Blow on him as he runs by. If he stops and axes you WTF you're doing, just be like "I'm helpin you man! Go go go!"

>>36557197
Kek

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Every morning before you shower that guy skydives onto your roof and and watches you lather up through the skylight. After he cums, he runs to his parked car so he can jerk off again while the memory of your soaped up body and luscious ass is still fresh in his mind.

>>36562281
>fucking wreck your cabs

my fucking what

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>>36562661
read that as
>blow him as he runs by

>talent.

>>36563163
kek I also read it that way

>>36557185
Hey guys I heard that if you're running with a 'chute it's better to anchor it to you squat plug, do you think that it's actually safer that way or am I just falling for another broscience meme?

>>36563895
*your not "you squat plug"