ITT: we invent broscience >working out 3 hours before sleep

Squats are primarily a quad exercise

If you leave your anabolic window open at night it increases your proton expenditure

>>36534306
If you pause every 5 minutes during a workout and shit a little bit, you will burn double the fat

>>36534306
>It's better to knock out all your reps in one set
>Form is less important than weight, as the weight will condition the muscles to enhance performance and prevent injury

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SS works

>>36534306
>If you repeat the words 'Busted' '5-Percenter' and 'cmon' to yourself, your brain will sense you are trying to leave humanity behind and will increase muscular synthesis and genetically enhance your organ quality

>>36536252
This

>>36536228
>it does if you eat and sleep enough, skelly

>Put the weight on joints such as shoulders, lower spine, and knees. The stimulus of the bone growth will send calcium and protons to your muscles

>>36534306
progressive overload makes you stronger

You need 1g of protein for ever kilo of lean body weight

>I wake up
>immediately snort a line of creatine and BCAA
>take a multi, 4 fish oils tabs and a week's worth of herbalife
>I have now replenished my blood protein and micronutrient levels
>I get in my wheelchair and have my 11/10 korean gf wheel me to the kitchen as early morning cardio kills gains
>eat first meal of the day: 3 cups oats, 2 cups egg whites, 1L whole milk, one banana
>go to my closet to chose which of my 32 stringers and 23 pairs bball shorts I will wear to the gym today
>I choose a bar hop tee I cut to shreds and straight black shorts
>do a quick 60 minute pre-workout curl sesh so I don't have to walk in without a pump
>chug 6 scoops C4 mixed with 50mg ephedrine and 5g L-carnitine
>have my gf drive me to the gym as using the gas pedal may cause calf asymmetry
>I eat my pre-lunch while perform my preworkout foam rolling session
>after 2 hours I am ready to begin my workout
>simple 5/3/1 pyramid-superset taper-split with a 43 day repeat pattern
>eat lunch between sets to maintain blood protein/glucose levels
>finish workout, chug 3 scoops ON Gold Standard™ whey in the Blender Bottle™ I have put 6 stickers on
>gf picks me up after hot yoga cool down
>have dinner consisting of 1000g plain chicken breast, 2 cups brown rice, and 500g broccoli
>90 minute arms session to face another night of masculine insecurity with a pump
>brush my teeth and shower upside down to prevent any fluoride from entering my digestive system
>go to bed for to sleep for precisely 28,827 seconds; no sex, ejaculation kills gains

>>36536650
>wearing basketball shorts to the gym
Holy kek

>>36536650
>using the gas pedal may casue calf asymmetry

lost it

>>36534306
Call it an ERS or an ERP for Enhanced Resting State/Period.

>>36534306
when you workout, focus on your muscles being pumped and growing. when you are eating and before bed time imagine your muscles growing. when you are asleep you will dream that your muscles are growing and that will help them grow!

>>36534306
Low carb and keto are memes and don't work
No pro bodybuilder uses keto or low carb diets to get shredded only DYELS on /fit/ use low carb :)

The average dick size is 8x6

In order to increase gains, you have to eat as many sources of protein in each meal as possible. It doesn't matter how much protein you eat, all that matters is that you eat multiple sources of it.

>honey, that whey protein will make you fat
>"...i went to the gym, and i worked out in the women'd section, and"

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>the muscle up exercise, or doing those rolls around the bar, help tone the muscle, and increase vascularity because of the increased gravity force

also pic related does wonders for your traps, and hunger, because it tells the stomach to feel up with energy, hence the low caloric intake

>>36536211
LOL

>>36536414
>>36536650
First is a fact, second is using the wrong units.

>>36536711
The fuck is wrong with that though?

>>36534319

True depending on the style you tard.

>>36536650
>brush my teeth and shower upside down to prevent any fluoride from entering my digestive system
Meine Seiten

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>>36534306
pic related
science guy tricked a bunch of media outlets into reporting chocolate makes you thin

You need at least 1kg of oats per lb of bodyweight when on a bulk
You can increase the efficacy of pre-workout by snorting it like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INgHcoRcCdQ
Stimulants and hot showers or baths are an effective alternative to cardio

>>36540442
http://io9.gizmodo.com/i-fooled-millions-into-thinking-chocolate-helps-weight-1707251800
Link because other anon forgot

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>>36536650
> brush my teeth and shower upside down to prevent any fluoride from entering my digestive system

god bless you, anon.

>>36538083
>whisper to yourself "grow grow grow"

>>36534306

> Contrary to popular opinion, you should and must masturbate before and after each workout, as long as you take a ZMA to replenish. thus your test levels stay elevated and you take advantage of the hormonal spike of sex. This mimicks our history in the wild of spending an entire mating season mating constantly and eating the organ meats of our prey

> postural muscles such as traps, upper back, calves, forearms respond to high intensity and high frequency, thus for maximum gains, one should do extreme weighted carries for hours on end

If you eat food straight before eating it will turn into fat

>>36540392
>2016
>Not wearing a banana hammock to the gym

chewing and eating food slower will reduce calorie intake

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>>36541797
ok you got me, what

>>36534319
>front squat

>>36534306
>working out with a boner increases testosterone production
>always take cialis before going to the gym

>>36534306

you want increased blood flow to muscles to keep them warmed up and remove lactate, but you want blood flow restrictions for gains, so take aspirin, viagra or a blood thinner and then tourniquet your limbs

Listening to females orgasm in subsititute of music while lifting will add at least 20% to your max.

To get abs you have to do 500 sit ups every day, nothing else.

>>36541852
Some people use cialis as a PED. Improves blood circulation, lowers blood pressure and slighty raises test. If I had the shekels I'd take 10mg EOD

run to the beat of your heart. the impact will make it beat harder increasing blood flow

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>>36534336

>if you work out in the sun you increase your tachyon exposure and can get energy and gains from the future.

Your digestive system refines protein the same way cat's refines coffee beans, so unless you eat your own poo you'll lose out about 60% of your protein you eat

>>36534306
>drink own urine for gainz

>>36536252
tryin too hard m8
sorry

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>>36536650
>>after 2 hours I am ready to begin my workout

Make sure to edge yourself during your workout to keep your test levels as high as possible.
Just make sure the gym staff don't see you with your dick out edging, you might get kicked out.

When I work out I listen to the instrumentals from Rich Pianas videos on full blast through two blue tooth speakers duct taped to my head. So far my ears ring constantly and gym staff always ends up kicking me out but all my lifts have gone up

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>>36536650
>>another night of masculine insecurity with a pump

its real life

>deadlifting more than one set increases injury risk by 70%