That time I was ISIS: >be me >half Arab >gonna go workout

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Anonymous
2016-03-25 01:14:41 Post No.
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Anonymous 2016-03-25 01:14:41 Post No. [Report]

That time I was ISIS:
>be me
>half Arab
>gonna go workout at the YMCA
>don't actually have a membership, just sneak in
>Arnold did it, for the gains
>gonna sneak in through back door, but stupid bitch Mexican janitor almost catches me
>ohfuck.jpg
>friend who sneaks me in ends up getting me through front door
>safeatlast.png
>in changeroom, change appearance
>water my hair down, take off glasses, change into workout clothes
>it worked for Superman right?
>go out of changeroom, walk to gym
>Mexican janitor catches me
>ohfuckthisisit.jpg

Anonymous 2016-03-25 01:15:27 Post No.36512244
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Anonymous 2016-03-25 01:15:27 Post No.36512244 [Report]

>>36512232
>lots of YMCA employees start coming around me and asking for my membership
>bright idea to respond in Arabic and act like a foreigner
>don't actually know how to speak Arabic (dad left when I was a wee lad), but know the general way it sounds so I start speaking gibberish
>employees slowly saying "membership"
>motherfucker are you retarded?
>one of them pulls out phone and uses translate
>sheeeeiiiittttimsoscrewed.webm
>cuck says "Do you have a membership" into phone and translation plays
>I nod and smile, take phone
>only word in Arabic I know I Sharmuta, which translates to whore
>yell sharmuta at top of lungs
>all while keeping angry Arabic accent mind you
>employees look at phone wide eyed
>I walk away to changeroom yelling angry gibberish and waving hands
>In changeroom, thiniking about how the hell I'll sneak into gym and workout
>announcement plays
>"All employees to the front desk"
>okay time to go
>start packing up clothes
>a minute later another announcement plays, "All employees to the front desk this is an emergency"
>oh fuck gotta get outta here
>frantically put gym clothes away and change
>about to leave when "ALL EMPLOYEES TO THE FRONT DESK, THE AUTHORITIES HAVE BEEN ALERTED"
>holyfucktheythinkimISIS.ghad
>the Paris attacks happened a week earlier
>time to get the hell outta dodge
>leave YMCA in the commotion, everyone being herded out
>as soon as I get out three police cars, two firetrucks, and an ambulance arrive
>kek this is gonna be a great story for /fit/
>wait with everyone in parking lot to see what happens
>me and group of lifting acquiances talking about wtf is going on, we all think it's due to me
>turns out it was a drowning scare or some shit
>well fuck it was while it lasted
>everyone is let back in YMCA
>in commotion I sneak into gym
>get an incredible workout in
Hit a couple PR's too