Alright /fit/, you seem like some strapping fellows. I have

fuck off faggot

how about no?

>>36401941
Ss + gomad

>>36401941
Eat only spinach, drink coffee and water.

Do cardio every day for as long as you possibly can.

>>36401941
> I'm slightly pudgy but skinny with muscle underneath.

$20 that this guy is actually just fat and weak

Wow 2 weeks is a really short time.
I would recommend about 1g a day of DNP to cut your extra fat. Then the muscles underneath should shine right through.

Good luck, bro. :)

>>36401941
1. go to a nearby gym
2. find someone ripped
3. pay them to be you in 2 weeks

>>36401941
That was an absolute shit kick. What the fuck was the purpose?

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>>36401964
yes. it does take two weeks of ss + gomad to make you fat. quite efficient

Why should we care about some fat faggot. You got fat so get yourself out of it.

>>36401941
Even if you starve yourself and lose all your muscle in the process you'll only lose like 10 pounds, including water. Then you'll rehydrate on day 15 and have only lost 5 pounds and you'll look like shit.

You think this is a fucking game?

>>36401941
D N P
N
P

only way you will make good progress in 2 weeks. but you seem like a retard, so nevermind..don't take it

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>>36401964
Huh?

>>36401967
Thanks I will.

>>36401969
5'7
140 pds
Soft bodied manlet with some muscle though

>>36401970
What's DNP? Do they sell that at GNC?

>>36401974
To be cute and give me a boner.

>>36401981
I look like this guy except skinnier.

>>36401985
I'm not fat though.

>>36401998
Why would I starve myself? I could eat salad everyday and protein shakes if I had to with fruits. Tuna or lean beef, whatever you think is best bruh.

I won't eat shit afterwards either so that I maintain it.

Pls no bully.

Op, you are probebly a nice fellah, ignorant of how stupid you sound, but don't worry I will help out because we have all been there.
1st. Why two weeks
2. Nd will you cont. After the two weeks?

2 weeks? just fast all day, take multivitamins and also b vitamins, drink a gallon of distilled water every day, and go for a walk. if you want it you'll commit

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>>36402246
1. Two weeks because in two weeks I'll be chilling with this girl I like for a few days and I want to look acceptable enough to be slightly impressive.

2. Yes I will continue after two weeks because I'm going out of the country in a month on a vacation so I want to look good for that too.

I have a doorway pull up bar, you probably know the one, with a horizontal bar and handles that jut out.

I have hand weights up to 35 pounds each and a lifting weight bar up to 80 pounds. Running shoes and enough disposable income to buy some supplements like powder or creatine or whatever is at GNC.

You're not going to gain muscle in 2 weeks. you're better off not eating at all and running 5 miles a day.

>>36402441
I think maybe 4 solid days of hard lifting with enough rest to build some muscle though and then cardio the rest of the time would be fine.

Coupled with a low fat diet of salads, protein shakes and creatine... could be a fun experiment.

>>36402416
>I want to look acceptable enough to be slightly impressive
DNP is your best bet, but you'll probably die, so post more pictures of your girl before you do.

oh, wait
>brown eyes
she's garbage bro, don't kill urself for her. beleeve in urself.

2 weeks is nothing. I've been working out for years and I'm still ugg as fuck and you'd never know because I'm ugly and fat.

>>36402441
pretty much this

For some reason I want to help you because of how incredibly stupid and naive you sound.

Eat only 1,000 calories a day
Track your calories with MyFitnessPal
Eat only tuna, chicken and broccoli
Brisk walk at least an hour a day or jog for 45

After that, get on a real diet and routine and stop being a dumb shit and do some research.

Like reading the giant fucking sticky on the front page

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>>36402471
wrong.

OP Post current body.

>>36402035
Go for at least 5g DNP, you've only got 2 weeks after all. :^)

>>36401941
You are fucking retarded. Read the sticky

>>36402493
Thanks I really appreciate it, that's a solid plan.
Should I do more cardio though? Brisk walk or jog twice or three times a day? What about some lifting?

Instead of chicken should I get optimum nutrition powder or something that has some creatine in it?

I'll drink loads of coffee and water too.

You aren't going to change shit in two weeks.

Building an impressive physique takes years.

>>36402566
how does it feel to be this deep in denial?

>>36402416
0. Read the sticky
1. Get membership at gym
2. Go keto for two weeks (carbs make you look blooted)
3. Eat at a huge calorie deflict
4. At gym do ss (starting strenght by mark rippletits), continue this program for 3-6 months
5. Do your cardio
6. Get confidence about body (chicks dig it)
7. Start a propper bulkingdiet after the two weeks. I like leangains, but look into other things.
8. When done with ss, start another rutine. Parks 5*5 or something in the shootingrange of this.
9. Read books.

Go to this thread >>>36380521 for info on where to get ahold of DNP.

Don't worry about their advice on taking it easy, they're just chicken. Gonna need at least 3 pills a day to get it done in your timeframe, maybe 4.

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>>36402534
I know you can die from that.

>>36402569
I don't want to become a bodybuilder in two weeks, I want to be less pathetic in two weeks and I'm willing to go all out.

>>36402607
The dying is just a meme.

>>36402566
You can get protein if its easier. Chicken is cheaper.

Creatine will make you gain water weight so thats pointless

>>36402621
>>/b/

>>36402607
you're a fucking retard

your best bet is to make some fucking 2 hour biceps / triceps exercise night before to get a pump going but since you're fat that probably won't be noticeable and chances are you'll just injure yourself

if you actually want to get somewhere you'll accept you can't do shit in 2 weeks and will read the FUCKING sticky

>>36401941
Read the fucking sticky

>>36402607
but anon you are pathetic, you wouldn't want to lie about yourself right?

>>36402607
It has nothing to do with being a body builder.

I'm telling you that short of blasting test or DNP nothing you do will make you look any better in two weeks.

>>36401941
>>36402035
c-cute

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>>36402705
I disagree. I've seen results after a week. It all depends on how much you've already done and how hard you go at it.

If you're skinny fat and put in a solid week then after that week you'll see a difference.

>>36402705
This. You have no chance OP.
Nobody wants to walk you through anything because it wastes our time, since you clearly want to be spoon fed and you don't want to read up on anything.
There's hours of reading and understanding you need to learn to sort yourself out, and you can't unfuck yourself in 2 weeks short of starving, which you won't do because you're pudgy. We are not personal trainers, and it's insulting that you would think we give a shit about you enough to bother.

>>36402829
Fuck you op, I actully fell for the bait. You feel funny robbing me of sleep?

>>36402829
What OP is asking would be like going onto /biz/ and saying "I've got $100, how can I turn it into $1,000,000 in two weeks?"

Short of buying a winning lottery ticket it cannot be done.

>>36402846
It wasn't bait. Thanks for your help. I took a pic and in 2 weeks I'll see where I'm at.

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>>36402846
This guy did it. By week three he has an amazing bod.

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>>36402829
This girl is really hot

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>>36403343
>tfw Julius mired you hard twice

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>>36403752

>>36403752
>this man

honestly i'd rather fuck a man at that point. literally lowest of test

>>36403752
>>36403801
Fugggg

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>>36403812
She's pretty hot and not manlike. If you wouldn't have sex with her you might be gay.

800mg test suspense every day, three injections per day (one in morning, one midday, one before sleep)

protein:
2g/kg of bodyweight EVERY 8 HOURS
so that means if you weigh 100kg, you need to have 600 GRAMS in the day total

BUT YOU MUST SPREAD IT OUT
Before bed, drink 70grams casein and 30 grams whey combined with 1000-2000 calories of carbs

GYM ROUTINE:

three sessions a day
TWO HOURS per session

PPL, every day
YOU MUST DO AT LEAST TWENTY SETS OF EACH COMPOUND

so bench press= 20x5 or 20x10
same for squats, deads, rows, etc

BASICALLY YOUR TOTAL COMPOUND SETS SHOULD REACH 100 PER SESSION

feed at least 6k calories

ALSO DNP AND CLEN FOR FAST FAT BURNING.

disclaimer:
you might experience heart problems, insomnia, cold and hot sweats, extreme fever, kidney failure, liver failure, muscle damage, skin scars, vascular damage, etc

run at your own risk i am not liable for your death

>>36402035
>5'7
>140 pds
>Muscle underneath
If you're not a girl top kek

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>>36404142
I bet this girl is more /fit/ than you

Don't be so misogynistic

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>>36404701

>>36403879
I was going to say I would, then I realised she looks a little like Jeff Seid with tits.