What do you guys do about farts when in bed with a chick? I always

Pull ur cheeks apart so it just kinda 'pffffffffffffs' out u know??

>>35246452
I find that the more I suppress and avoid farts, the less I need to or get the urge to. Takes about a day or two of willpower but it will work and you will simply not need to fart as much. I probably fart 3 times a day outside of when I'm pooing

>>35246452
I>>35246475
http://www.firebox.com/product/6437/Flatulence-Underwear

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>>35246452

fart once and see how she reacts

if shes cool with it all your problems are gone

>>35246452
just fart? assert dominance.

>>35246452
Just fart :)

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Hold her head under the covers to assert your dominance. After that she will be happy whenever you fart without holding her head under the covers. It's simple negative reinforcement conditioning.

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>>35246452
Just cough really hard and release your farts...thats what i do

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Wrap the sheets around your body, forming an outer layer. Proceed to fart silently, but at a steady pace. Once you're done, lift off the corner of the sheet in the corner facing her. Give a dead eye look. Bitch will probably choke on your submarine gas bomb. She will always love you for alerting her with loud farts afterwards. It's called negative reinforcement conditioning.

Source: I always force my gf to eat my ass. No homo.

Kek I had this fucking problem after I shagged some bird on tinder.

Held it in all night, went to shit the next morning and it was a fucking plastic type toilet and it amplified the sound.

>>35246452
Go to toilet and hold a picece of tp to your asshole when u fart so it only mskes a pfft sound

>>35246452
Strengthen your asshole and will the air to move up to your stomach, and then manipulate your abdominal muscles to let it escape from your mouth. To conceal this, make a sound like 'uh-huh' or something similar that usually incorporates air exhalation. You'll be fine

Good old dutch oven. If she doesn't laugh her ass off after all the kicking and screaming or blasts another one in your face, she's not the one.

The sooner you break the fart barrier, the better

>tfw my bf farted in my face on our second date

>>35246452
Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war. Then Dutch oven her.
If she laughs and stays, she's a keeper.

>>35246901
pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

>>35246452
Get a ball valve buttplug.

>>35246452
Get charcoal tablets. You're welcome

>>35246468
lmao

>>35246452
>kneel on the bathroom floor
>forehead touching the ground
>spread asscheeks to suspress sound
>make sure you locked the door

>>35246452
haha my nigger, I've had this problem so many times, my ex was cool with it or tolerated it atleast. With a bird I've just met i'll try to fart as much as I can when I go for a piss, and if I still need to fart when in bed together, give it 5 minutes of silence and stick my ass off the edge of the bed out of the cover and try to do a silent fart. Then my last resort if I fart loudly doing this I'll pretend to be asleep then tell her she was farting loads in her sleep in the middle of the night

1. I just fart.

2. Why are you having beers if you're serious about lifting?

>>35247960
>make sure you locked the door

audibly keked

>>35248132
>2.
Probably because he's not a miserable boring faggot like you

>>35248177
>not drinking spirits and diet mixers

NOT GONNA MAKE IT

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this is good thread. many keks.

I don't understand this insane logic of holding them in. You already fucked her. You've already won at this point your fart will decide if she's a keeper. If you can't fart around each other it isn't much of a relationship.

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>>35246452
>What do you guys do about farts when in bed with a chick
>in bed with a chick

>>35246593
>*cough*pfffft*cough*fffft .. prt *cough cough*
yeah works every time 50% of time

>>35246452
I have the same problem, with some of the girls i have farted in mistake they didint seem to mind it but it fucking messes with my head. You get the same feeling as your mom would walk in as a teen as your masturbating. (Never experienced it but i think i would get same feeling)

But next time im gonna try what the one anon said about holding a toilet paper to your asshole

I dutch oven everytime. If they can't handle it then that's their issue.

>>35246452
There's a technique I use that's risky but if you slowly contract your anal muscles you can like release it without noise like a silencer.

Pfft pffttt pffffftttt

>>35247960
Isn't there a missing step involving a dinosaur?

>>35246983
And then you'll be "comfortable" enough to get fat and shit on the floor and leave food outside.for.days so maggots will eat it and ask yourself why is your life so disgusting

>>35248497

This.

Farting in bed doesn't mean you have a sense of humour, you fucking dullards

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>>35246983
ay farting in somebody's face the pinnacle of humor
max pleb

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>>35246452
Get a French suppressor.

>>35248397
Just like a suppressed.22
Pffft pffft pffft

>>35248497

this.
it's like starting to go peeing when your SO is in the same bathroom, it can only spiral downwards. Some things have to be kept out of the couple as much as possible. Fuck that "this is intimacy" shit. I still want to believe my gf never farts.

>>35248714
Bullshit