How do you shit, /fit/? >dad mode Take in the paper and spend

>>35081805
>that pic
triggered.jpg

also
what's the point of this post?

>>35081805
How little fiber are you eating? I'm in there for a minute tops provided I don't have to wipe too much.

usually shit at work, grab the paper and hide out in the bathroom so no one can flag me down and give me work to do
>tfw the cartoons arent funny
>tfw really bad at crosswords
i do the world jumble everyday though, getting pretty good at it

In and out. I got things to do.

A mix, I push the shit out and then spend fucking forever just wiping. The shit never seems to go away, god I hate shitting.

The Gen Y. Take my phone in there and shit post on reddit.

>>35082157
> shitting isn't fitness related

If I have a new magazine in the mail I'll do a dad mode but any other time it's the Gen Y

>>35081805
Middle bar (the diagonal one) actually sticks straight out of the left post, and is cut to look like it enters the right post when the camera is positioned properly.

File: image.jpg (96KB, 524x474px) Image search: [Google]

96KB, 524x474px

>>35081805
Gen y

>tfw literally shit posting

Thanks, OP. Helped me realize I need to stop taking my phone with me into the restroom. God, I hate pooping so much.

>>35081805
Depends on what I ate in the past 24 hrs.

90% of my shits take under 2 minutes, the last 10% are anywhere from 3-15

>>35081805
>pressure hose
Have a fart that projectiles the shit out. 30 seconds

>>35082873
Ohhh shiiiiiit, thanks

>>35081805
on the streets

Once a week I clear my bowels in a 30min process, it takes 3 flushes on most toilets but I lose a few pounds, my gut recedes, and I am filled with energy for the day.

File: 1425932935818.jpg (11KB, 250x236px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 250x236px

>>35082579
Same here bro, lately i just put my finger with paper 1-2mm in my anus. It works kinda nice, that way i secure there is no more shit left

>/k/ommando /k/rap
Take a shot of bottom shelf vodka for the ordeal that is about to unfold. Grab mosin nagant and tokarev. Kick down bathroom door and clear the room. Pole vault over the threshold with the mosin. ND a round into the mirror. Spend 15 minutes taking gear off, crapping pants in the process. Wipe shit off of gear with trench shovel into the toilet. Put gear back on. Swear in Russian. Squat and have a cigarette before throwing a grenade into the toilet. Grenade? What grenade? ATF pls go. Tactical roll out of the bathroom just as the explosion goes off. Don't flinch or look behind you.

That's how you poop like a /k/ommando.

>>35082428
Sitting on the crapper at work for 30 minutes on saturdays drinking some soup while hungover as fuck might be my highlight of the week.

Productive mode.
Brush my teeth every time I shit.

File: xewKtB4.jpg (103KB, 608x915px) Image search: [Google]

103KB, 608x915px

>>35082579
Time to order that bidet bruh, spotless asshole in 10 seconds tops

File: Unbelievable shieet.jpg (8KB, 240x210px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 240x210px

>Dad mode

My sides.
My dad literally spends about 20 seconds when he is taking a shit. He gets there and pulls his pants down. Releases the hornets in to the toilet and uses bidet shower to clean things up. Takes about 20 seconds and he is out of the toilet.

File: 1414997203493.gif (2MB, 390x220px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 390x220px

>>35089169

>>35081805
That thing's perfectly Euclidean, it's just that it can't be embedded in 3D.