How would one go on about planting real-ass grass on one's

That's astro-turf.

>>987931
I know. Couldn't find a proper picture. Artificial turf is shot tho.

>>987930
You don't, dirt is heavy, balconies can't hold up unlimited weight. Don't ruin your building.

>>987930

Did you think this through?

Why would you put heavy soil on a balcony? Then, even if you could get it supported, plant grass in which you need to cut?

>>988009
15m^2, most likely sheltered so have to water, cut, clean, fertilize yourself.
MOSS and ferns my friend, LITTLE soil required, water once in a while if shaded(assuming shaded/non-direct sunlight) low maintenance and gives you green foliage without tons of water/soil/waste.

>>987930
FYI, the amount of soil you would need to plant grass over that area would be somewhere between 8000 and 10000 pounds (3600-4500kg for you commie metric lovers), with the weight increasing significantly during and after rainfall.

I'm willing to bet that that load will not be good for your balcony or your house... or your back when you try to carry it up in buckets.

If you go for it, don't blame /diy/ when your balcony collapses or settles excessively.

Move into a house with a yard.

The REAL problem is water and drainage in combination with weight loads. Chances of water damage is super high, along with how do you stop drains from clogging etc. I mean its doable, but the balcony would have to be purpose build.

File: TyasTurf6.jpg (9KB, 365x200px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 365x200px

This is fuckin retarded but anyway. You don't plant fresh lawn. Too much bullshit. Buy rolls of turf.

>>988311
that's for lanscapers because faggots can't wait a few months for a lush lawn. better to steal the top soil, resell it then lay turf so its nice and pretty and green instantly.